Weekly Contest Results 5-19-14

Assuming 1-2 judge voted and have yet to turn in comments, but according to the front page, here are our winners! Good to have the site back. It was a little eerie receiving blank weekly contest results from PnQ.

Congratulations winners and HM's!

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WINNERS:
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Coffee of your eyes
by RealMe
14 pts

"So much enthusiasm in this poem, The descriptive narrative is excellent and I spent a while hunting for cliches, None that offended me could be found. I love any poem with 'nipple' in it. Not the easiest word to shoe-horn into any prose or poetry without feeling a little pervy. I have just paused at this point re-read and found 'howling wolves.. 'However every other line in this a masterpiece of alliteration or just silky dialogue. Stand out line by a country mile for me is 'on the full moon of your teeth'
A worthy 10 pointer." (10)

-No comment- (4)

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Hips
by Narph
18 pts

"There's such spirit in this piece, it's a youthfulness that makes this poem come alive to the reader. I liked how this was a different image then one may first consider... an older man, more heavyset, but still wanting to dance and dream. Maybe that's been denied of him before, but he wants to have no cares and maybe re-connect with that childish desire to "feel free". From the last lines I gathered that he does not consider himself beautiful based on society's standards but also, on a deeper level, that he does not have daily confidence or the self-esteem to boldly go out in the world and say, "this is me". Vivid imagery and wonderful verbs that gave impact. I felt this author knew how to craft and use those verbs to create a scene and story of this man, each word with purpose." (4)

"I truly love this poem!

I'm going to make my analogy and assume it's in regards to a cute little pot bellied pig or piglet and say his name is Hips ~

What a beautiful word display this poem has! Very elegant and just a lovely piece!!" (4)

-No comment- (10)

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Loneliness is a failed log-on
by Larry Chamberlain
11 pts

"I have given this 4 points because of the wit in this. I don't for one second buy into the claim that this is a sad poem. It reads to me as quite 'tongue in cheek' and I feel the writer has led those that have commented on sadness right up the garden path.

It almost had me until this;
'and smile as they scribble in crayon
their silliest assertions of life.'

Then I re-read the piece hunting for any evidence of fear, fear that the site would never return, fear that those that refuse to use facebook would be lost forever. But there was no fear. Fear equals sadness, so where is the sadness?
But as a comical piece or even a nature piece!! it works.
So here is my 4 points." (4)

-No comment- (7)

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HONORABLE MENTIONS:
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Dandelions Will Learn To Love Again
by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko
10 pts

"Hands down, my favorite poem of the year to date!

Dandelions as a metaphor has been used several times in poetry, but the way Mahal ko kuya ko wrote this piece just took me off into a loving, nature wonderland!
Mixing poetry, love and dandelions is just beautiful and the word usage is very creative!

What a gorgeous poem!!" (10)

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The Drop and the Ocean
by RealMe
10 pts

"Thoroughly enjoyed this piece, and the wisdom I saw in it. There is more of a universal reflection here, if that makes sense. That the author invites the reader to contemplate something elusive (the relationship between one drop and the whole body of water which can be hard to distinguish from), and comes to realize that volume does not automatically create worth. There is a life lesson here I feel, that we may say, oh how grand our lives are because we have this privilege and that privilege... yet there may be a person living on less and much happier, possibly living in simplicity. One action or word can be significant. It doesn't take a certain number of actions or people to complete those actions that promise to make a difference. Change can come in many ways. Differences can be made by one. Thoughtful, provoking write. Much is expressed in those two stanzas." (10)

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De(Me)ntal
by Everlasting
7 pts

"I have never read anything like this before. What took me by surprise was the range of emotions I felt during this. I was confused at times, uncomfortable, and feeling like what we live and see each day may be an illusion. I am not sure if this is open to interpretation or if the author had a direct cause for writing this. Upon first glance at the title, I thought of a mental illness, or trying to rid one's self of those troubling thoughts or even rationalize them. Then, with the (me), I thought of "dental", like a dental office. What intrigued me most was that the author did not shrink back or become afraid to be eccentric, and even deluded with the tone of voice. Because sometimes, we do want to scream as humans, be irrational, or do things that absolutely have no rhyme or reason. The individual parts that stood out to me were the author's emphasis on certain words, the onomatopoeia that seemed to echo like in the "crack" or "spit".

Part of my interpretation is that this person is going through a manic episode perhaps, they were in a depressive state (feeling emptiness, thinking of death), then ask for someone to be there, for someone to not walk away but dance with them. This person is broken, they crave someone to reach out yet push away at the same time. But they are at their lowest. The most moving part to me was the transition from a harsh tone of "STOP" and "Don't you dare walk away!" to something more soft and almost childlike with the call to make this person dance. Not sure exactly the meaning of the ending, or the "weasel in the sea", maybe that they are witnessing this person breaking down and are asking to be saved, to be brought back to some kind of clarity before it's too late. What a captivating write, gave me shivers!" (7)

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Our story's rewritten end.
by TravsAngel
7 pts

"This is a nice emotionally charged piece tinged with sadness by there is an underlying realization that this is the right thing to do. I love the rhyming scheme gives it a real poetic feel. Too many poems on this site cut off mid line and carry over, breaking up the flow and reads like a choppy mess. I have been told it is a style...Yes lazy is a style. This piece flows beautifully, it has good length without reading as mindless rambling and overall it is evidence that writing your feelings out this way is the first step to moving on." (7)

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December in Damascus
by Hellon
7 pts

"When Hellon writes poetry on war torn tragedies I am always in awe.
She has stunned me with this brilliant poem!

Taking the message of a war torn city and mixing it with metaphors of winter just took my breath away!

Winter and war are torture in many forms and she has crafted a beautiful, heart stopping poem here, well done!" (7)

Congrats to everyone this week. Well done!!!

Thanks judges.
No thanks to Mods, this is ridiculously chaotic!!

Congrats to everyone

Sorry to disappoint, RM. Not sure what you guys expect when we don't hear from multiple judges.

It's seems three judges voted. By the way, on my HMs... Did I received two comments or is it just one?

I am not sure whether to reply just to one judge or if its two. But in reply to the comment assuming is just to one judge, this poem is something I haven't try doing before. It's actually a challenge given to me by some member of allpoetry. Some kind of experiment. The challenge was to experiment with sounds. pretty much to write a poem using just sounds. As well as to make no sense. So basically, what you read was my constant struggle at making no sense. I started trying to not make sense but as I continued writing, I came coming back to the title. De(me)ntal -- a day at the dental office. A person with an illness. Not making much sense. The idea was to not make sense. In the end there's some sense surfacing back. ( So i failed the challenge lol) I challenge anyone to give it a try. It's really difficult to be nonsensical.

Actually SS. now that you added non comment marks it makes more sense.

Good.

Also, it's one comment from one judge, Everlasting.

Thanks Jane! See thank you to the Mods too.

Congrats winners and HM's... and thanks Jane for putting these up!

Thanks for the win; but I hope the fourth judge turns in the comments.

Congrats to the fully validated winners (who don't have to go begging for comments, grr) and HMs.
Thanks Jane

Congrats Winners & HMs :)

Good work Judges and thanks Mods !

Aw thanks judges!

Way to jump back into the swing of things Mods, must've been tricky.

I really like all the interpretations of Hips. ...piglets, chubby old men who just want to dance... It's an acrostic, so the answers right there, but man.... all these visuals are really adorable guys!

Hippopotamus, hahaha! I love acrostics- how did I miss that?

You're welcome, guys. It's not much work :)

I was being tricky! :)

My gosh Narph, that is genius! I never would have noticed unless you mentioned it.