Weekly Contest Winners 26/5/2014

Hi everyone. Sorry about the delay this week. Well done to the three winners and the hms and a big thank you to the judges. Check out the thread where we are looking for new judges for the upcoming term :)

Winners

Life is a weapon - 10 + 7 = 17pts
by Everlasting

A photographer walks in a forest - 10 + 7 = 17pts
by Narph

Asunder - 10 + 4 = 14pts
by Kakera

HMs

Ungrateful - 7 + 4 = 11pts
by Saerelune

The Drop and the Ocean - 10pts
by RealMe

Trip to the Circus - 4 + 4 = 8pts
by Sylvia

I flicked an ant - 7pts
by Darren

Comments

Life is a weapon - 10 + 7 = 17pts
by Everlasting

'This poem resonated with me in the sense that it persuaded me to think of how I see life (if life can be seen solely as something to be defended and protected), or if there are only circumstances that truly make life dangerous. The perspective, maturity, and prudence in this poem is breathtaking. I believe in peace and pray for it, yet I don't know if war can ever be banished. There must be just causes for a war, as with just causes to defend one's self, to use a gun. Others may not care about that. The personification of life was honest and impacted me. How true it is that hope may be our only option yet it is a daily struggle to hope and trust in the future. I have never thought of "life" has uses different weapons in order to help us survive. I agreed with this line the most:

"life is a weapon
awaiting for the time
we use it
to defend ourselves,
from ourselves."

That made me think deeper. That we give excuses why we can't help someone else, we use our disadvantages or what happens in our life to sometimes distance ourselves or hurt others. But in the end, it is us who are out of control. We can't always control life.

What made this poem and your voice even stronger, was the transition in the middle of the poem from previously talking about life as a gun and rope, to saying that life doesn't strangle us or cut us. It gives us a choice. It may knock sense into us, or fear, or it may wait until the moment closest to death so we realize how valuable life is. How much we need it, even if we call it worthless. The ending statement was foreboding but also keen. It seemed philosophical in a way, as I perceived from this closing line that you ultimately believe people are good. And that life is not bad, it's simply the circumstance or what we can make of it.... the potential. Life CAN be dangerous, but it is not given to us loaded with bullets. It is us who choose to do that. What an eye-opening write I thoroughly enjoyed.' - 10pts

'I have omitted the second half of the title, Very arrogant of me I know to do this to somebody else's piece, but I feel it is not necessary in the context of the poem. The poem reads like a lesson in humanity. It shows that we have these weapons at our disposal but what makes us human is the ability to choose not to use them. It reads like a sermon, it is a lesson in acceptance, a challenge to live peacefully. I like how each stanza is short but to the point and I think the repetition works well throughout. Although when I first read through it I didn't like it!! So in all I feel if you understand what the writer was thinking then there could be no way that you would disagree with her view. 7 points.'

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A photographer walks in a forest - 10 + 7 = 17pts
by Narph

'It is a refreshing change to find a piece that is written in this way. It is a risk to post this as most people wont get it. It was also a risk for the nominator to nominate. It is a nature poem that screams nature, just look at the assortment of nature words mixed in with the mechanical word 'click'. I love how 'click' is an intruder that ruins a great descriptive piece of poetry. Much like the photographer is intruding in this forest disturbing the wildlife and stomping about oblivious to what may lay under foot. For those of you that may not agree that this is a '10' poem, read it aloud as you picture in your mind a forest or wood nearby. You can almost smell the dampness of the fauna and the stickiness of the mud, all interrupted by that annoying 'click'. 10pts

'Click, Click, Clickclickclick... onomatopoeia are fun to play with. What I like the most in this poem is that the poem didn't just "click" with me ( pun intended), but it actually takes skill to be able to repeat the same words and be able to take the reader into the image without saying much. This poem is not composed of sentences. It just has words arranged in a way that it narrates, rather it takes the reader into seeing this photographer walking in the forest while taking pictures. It pretty much appeals to the senses of the reader. The reader can picture the photographer taking pictures while we " see" what the photographer is going through. His boot got stuck. He tripped. He landed on Mud. He jumped. But regardless of whatever happened to the photographer, the photographer continued taking pictures. One can see that the photographer takes his passion seriously. What a fun piece. ( 7 points)'

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Asunder - 10 + 4 = 14pts
by Kakera

'The magical world of words is displayed in this elegant and sorrow filled poem, written by Kakera. Brilliant!!!

This three stanza poem is a powerful display of old world language, making me feel like I'm back in medieval times, truly an elegant poem.

Each stanza touches on the metaphor of a rain and thunderstorm and touches on the sadness and sorrow of a woman alone- my take on this lovely piece.

I have read many Old World poems in my time and yet this poem is fresh and exciting to me, also with the simplicity of thunderstorms, which has been used many times as a metaphor, as been crafted into a poem all on its own.

Kakera has a gift of creative word usage this week, Well done!! (10)

'It is very rare that I see exclamation points in poetry, as I see them most often in novels and articles where I think they are over-used. But they had a clear, poignant effect here and I appreciate how you didn't let the exclamations steal away the actual emotions and meaning of the poem. Beautiful flow throughout.... the way you crafted your words and their placement reminded me of reading from an epic or an older piece of literature. I liked the effect and feel of "orchestras of anxiety" and how alive you can make this character's anxiety seem, playing an anthem or something to be mourned. There was also progression and a natural one at that throughout this piece. First, starting off with thunder, then rain, then the realization of a head-on storm that one cannot outrun. I experienced hopelessness as the reader, watching this unfold and knowing that hurricanes seldom leave behind a trail without damage or fear. Well-written. I haven't come across "asunder" in quite awhile and I liked how you have chosen that for your title, it highlights the seriousness of this situation and how divided the character (and particular place) will be after this storm.' (4)

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HMs

Ungrateful - 7 + 4 = 11pts
by Saerelune

'I immediately felt the profundity in your words, the significance of you writing this and actually voicing it to this person. The opening lines had that hint of sadness and recognition that you are coming through this relationship wiser perhaps, realizing you do not stand on equal grounds. That you were simply a matter to be dealt with, or maybe something to be conquered like a child's desire to win or have control over something. Powerful image with the marbles; you have a confident voice in this. I also liked how the last two lines stood alone, because it gave me a new way to interpret the poem. That maybe this person could not love or knew how to love at the time, so it wasn't like they were purposefully trying to bring you down, yet they didn't know how to work through emotions or focus on the little things that could draw you nearer. There's vagueness in this yet multiple lines that tell of a greater story behind it. This made me ponder many meanings as well as that there may be bitterness, but mostly, (in my opinion), you are showing the colors of the present time. And it has caused you to wonder if both of your inexperience and different approaches at love can somehow give you a connection. Give you a purpose together. The ending line: isn't it "two peas in a pod"? At least that's what I've heard. But changing it to "pot" makes me think you both will create something new, take a new spin on it and grow in an environment you've never lived in before. The title made me think both of you have felt abandoned by another, and you forgot to appreciate life and love.' (7)

'What a refreshing little gem this poem is!

I have never read from this author but I was glad this poem was nominated and I will continue to read her poetry!

I took many angles on this poem. Sadness twisted with a possible ending of a friendship to perhaps sibling rivalry. I admire poems that take me on many avenues of interpretation.

Truly a dazzling poem by Saerelune!!' (4)

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The Drop and the Ocean - 10
by RealMe

'One drop, two drops, three drops, four drops, five drops... gulp gulp...

One drop, two drops, three drops, a couple of more drops all scattered through out the world. A few here. A few others over there. Some feel alone. They go in search of a place to where they belong. One of those drops find a pond but the pond looked muddy, thus the drop believed that that's not where it belonged. It continued searching until it found a river, "perhaps this is where I belong" said the drop.... but the river moved too fast and the drop moved too slow, the drop thus said: no, no that's not where I belong. It continued until it found the ocean. The drop tired and amazed at it's beauty, believed perhaps this is where I belong. But when the drop said to the ocean with a genuine and sincere tone " you might be the last stance of me being alone"(RealMe) the drop realized with its response "come into me my forgotten son, my little insignificant one" (Realme) that the ocean was not where it belong.

Based on this poem, it seems like we all are raindrops. Many of those raindrops fall to form a pond. Others fall to form a river. Others to unite with the ocean. The entities of water. There's so much to be drawn from this piece but I won't go into all that comes to mind. I'll just say that my interpretation of this particular poem is that the ocean could be use as a representation of a higher force, God per se. The drop, a human. Which brings to mind, how often there has been so many man alleging they are God. I remember one in particular that I heard on the radio one day. This man continued saying that he was God and that he would eradicate all sinners. That he would kill them all. His words certainly did not sound like what I would expect God to sound like. To me God is love, humble, and sincere and much more.

So for the ocean to have call the drop " forgotten" and "insignificant" makes one wonder about the depths of that ocean. If the ocean is composed of shallow depths.

And more importantly: One drop, two drops, three drops, four drops, and so on ... could make an ocean. No drop is insignificant.

P.S. Is it "my little and insignificant one"? or little insignificant one?

If it's "my little and insignificant one" then the ocean is paying attention to the size, sort of like belittling the drop. If it's little insignificant, it's like it's saying the opposite, that is not insignificant, that is "worth considering." Negative and negative, can make it sound almost positive. Can an adjective modify another adjective? ( 10 points)'

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Trip to the Circus - 4 + 4 = 8pts
by Sylvia

'It's rare to stumble upon rhyming poems that read almost too natural and so smoothly, but even rarer is to find one that has a hint of humor to it. It takes skills to write humorous poems. That is why I had the hardest time in choosing this week. There were two poems that were somewhat humorous that I liked. However, I had to give the Hm to this one. The rhyme won me over as well as the story. An enjoyable read. ( 4 points)'

'How nice is it to see a special event poem nominated? This could also sit proudly in the humorous section. It is very cleverly crafted and the narrative is exceptional. I think many suffering from Coulrophibia could sympathise with the child in this piece. Nice rhyming scheme and description throughout. I thought the ending worked very well and finished the piece off nicely. Worthy of 4 points.'

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I flicked an ant - 7
by Darren

'I adore Darren's poetry and this week he did not disappoint me.

He has a crafty, wicked and wonderful way of taking metaphors and bugs and creating a masterpiece. I love his random and off the wall creative poems!

Darren takes me on one journey of an irritating bug and wrapping his emotions all together.

I read it once and giggled. Read it a second time and got teary.
Tons of emotions and feelings are encased in this piece. Love it!! (7)'

Congrats to all this week :)

Thank you for the HM's and I was surprised. Appreciated the comments by the judges. Thanks for that.

Congratulations to the Winners and HM's.

Thank you so much! And congratulations other winners and HMs!

Especially thank you guys for the wonderful comments!

Awesome, thanks for the HM and congrats winners.

Congrats Winners & HMs! Thanks Judges & the Mods!

:)

Thank you Judges!

To the first judge, your comment holds a lot of depth. And definitely, I do believe there's good in people even though some try to prove me otherwise.

To the second judge, haha
That line ( "though when I first read through I didn't like it") caught me off guard XD because i wasnt sure what you didnt like the repetition or the poem as a whole. Though I love your honesty. And the comments as a whole. Thank you!

The comment was imaginative and tasteful. It was unusual because most of time judges do not put this much time and afford (of course except me) thank you and thank to mods who keep up the contest regardless of all obstacles. :) :)

Congratulations!!!

Thanks, judges & Colm.

And of course Colm the Tuesday gentleman.

Congratulations winners & HM's, wonderful work!

Congrats all!