Weekly Contest Results 6-9-14

We have four winners this week since 3 member poems tied for "second place" with 14 points apiece. The site broke the tie, but you're all winners in my book! Congratulations to TravsAngel, carl, Maple Tree, and Saerelune. Well done to the many honorable mentions this week. A huge thank you to our judges for their hard work.
-Jane

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SCORE BREAKDOWN:
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Find Me by TravsAngel
(10) + (10) = 20

The Nihilist by carl
(7) + (7) = 14

44, Middle Aged Reflections by Maple Tree
(10) + (4) = 14

Wishful Thinking by Saerelune
(10) + (4) = 14

Song of a Witch by Karla
(10)

I Feel Pale by Everlasting
(7)

Haunted by Jenni Marie
(7)

Surrender my Smile by Meena Krish
(7)

In The Midnight Hour by Sylvia
(4)

Waltz of the soul by Beautiful Soul
(4)

Clueless Parents by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather
(4)

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COMMENTS FOR WINNERS:
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Find Me
by TravsAngel
20 pts

"The first line caught my eye immediately when scanning through the poetry this week. What a start. How many of us feel like this. That we do not truly know who we are or what our point is. Why do we exist to scrape by day to day? There is so much sadness in this piece, I also love the scattering of imagery, some great details that tell a sad story. A very mature piece by somebody so young. Great write and worthy of 10 points." (10)

"The emotion expressed in this write is so raw and heartfelt. The writer has managed to express the emotion and the reader feels the emotion without resorting to using words no one knows what they mean. It is pure and unadulterated, refreshing to read. The anguish the person feels is clear, that nothing they do can help them find their self, it is lost and nothing they do or remember or feel brings it back at least for tonight. The image that is conveyed by the words is one of a forlorn person sitting in the dark, maybe with coffee or a drink, smoking, at times holding their head in their hands, grimacing occasionally as these thoughts flitter through their mind." (10)

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The Nihilist
by carl
14 pts

"This was a well done poem. I'm surprised by the rhymes which were well done, not forced. The author doesn't seem to be restrained by them. The poem reads smoothly. There was a line though that I was confused.
"We're acting like a mould" <- Mould meaning as a hollow container? or mould as mold? like fungus? If it's like fungus, I think it would sound better if it's just said "we are acting like mould" instead of adding "a" mould. That's just a suggestion.
Overall, the narrative seems to be coming from someone who has no faith in humanity. Hence, the title "The Nihilist." This person finds life meaningless and he is ready for it to end. It doesn't matter how it ends whether a meteor destroys earth, or Russian stars bombarding with nuclear bombs, or aliens invades us and destroys us... whatever it is, this person says we are ready, "bring it on." It's quiet interesting to see how faith plays a role in our lives. This poem shows how someone thinks when there's a lack of faith. I believe the author did a great job at conveying this and narrating the poem from the point of view of a nihilist. I believe this poem could benefit with some more punctuation but above all it was well done." (7)

"If this poem did not contain an expletive albeit starred out I would have given it 10 points instead of 7. I think this poem is very relevant. Hidden in the humour are some serious messages about how we as the human race treat the planet and each other. I loved the alien part the best, it was like the author was suggesting we deserved this treatment and was hoping it would become reality. A great write and nice to see a poem from the doldrums that is humour nominated." (7)

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44, Middle Aged Reflections
by Maple Tree
14 pts

"There are poems that do not need to be perfect in order for the reader to enjoy them, and most importantly, for the readers to come up with their own views. This particular piece is a poem woven with metaphors that has tints of reality as well as laces of sincerity that captivates the reader and leaves them with a gift. A gift wrapped with the life of the author. And that's exactly what I felt, that I, as I was reading this poem, that I was unwrapping this gift. I felt like a kid who didn't want to tear the wraps out of his presents, like I just wanted to remove the wraps but slowly as to not damaged anything, not even the wrap. I wanted to find - underneath the wraps, those laces of sincerity woven with metaphors and just enjoy them, which I did. But most importantly, I like how after I finished unwrapping this gift, I was left with this feeling of no regrets. Maple Tree reflected upon her life - what she did and how she used to think before she was forty, to arrive to the conclusion that perhaps how she used to think and act, could have been done more wisely; however, that despite any reckless or hasty decisions, she has no regrets. She lives. She is proud of her age. Perhaps, her definition of beauty may have changed and is no longer "a bra size." Perhaps, not. Whatever it is. Whatever the age. We still live, and we always have room to learn, to reflect, and to enjoy life. Well done." (10)

"To me this borders on the humorous side because personally that is how I felt when I reached middle age. On the other hand reaching middle age can be devastating to some. The last verse seems to say that the person accepts the fact they are middle aged and they are proud and that is how they should feel. The negative for me in this write is that it is to "stiff, doesn't have a ring of truth or real feeling " and has many phrases that do not ring true in that it is not how we really think for example "with dewdrop eye sockets" but liked it enough to acknowledge the write." (4)

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Wishful Thinking
by Saerelune
14 pts

"I like the structure of this piece, how the simple verb "wish" has such a strong presence in this piece. Often, I read "I wish that my... were" yet you wish directly, almost like you do not need that verb to describe it. There is soul in this piece and this eccentric touch as well. I can easily picture an artist/pianist letting go, not being so uptight in music, possibly less glued to keys so he/she can go out and create the music. I imagine a student spending hours practicing each day only to "perform", yet desiring to experience music and life in a more free, unrestricted way. The progression in this piece is unique, and I like the repeat of "less glued to keys" then wishing more and less, to not wanting to be at the place you are today. It's like your mind and heart are contradicting each other because you wanted everything and nothing perhaps. And now you want to move past that to taste and experience something, yet then have faith and have it last. Beautiful line of "I wished more than thunderclaps, less than applause"- I feel this could apply to a general view of life. That there is more to life than loud noises and harsh storms, and we can sometimes find ourselves and find humility in silences. In reflection. Great contrast with "pieces of mind" and "peace of mind" in the end, it gives a contemplative touch that calls to the reader who may yearn for that moment where all is able to be understood. All wants and desires. Intriguing piece, well-written!" (10)

"It always surprises me, the creativity of this author. How she always gives the reader glimpses of her life by covering them up a little at a time with metaphors and similes. To me, this poem reads as a vent, but a vent that it's not overpowered with emotion. It has the right amount to keep the reader interested. I like the repetition of I wish and the comparisons she uses. This poem shows how not everyone is happy with how we are. How we wish to be a little different than how we are. I believe the majority of people can relate to that feeling. I also liked that she used "wished" instead of "wish" in the second part of the poem. It gives room for thought. All in all, this poem aside from reading as a vent comes up as meditative. I believe the repetition of "I wish" and "I wished" creates that atmosphere. In my opinion, acceptance of how one is can help us stop wishing to be different. If only we could accept how we are, we could see that we are capable of doing more than we think of. Faith could play a role. I was told once, "where your faith is matters." <-- How true would that be?
So to read these lines in the poem makes me ponder about that.
"I wished surgery of fate
or stitching my hands together
so I could be less sceptic of faith,"
This poem also shows the struggle that many people had or have with faith. How many are sceptic. How some wishes they could have faith. Which makes one question, what is faith? is faith really important? why? and how? Though to me, it is important. Also Faith is complete trust. Interesting poem." (4)

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COMMENTS FOR HONORABLE MENTIONS:
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Song of a Witch
by Karla
10 pts

"There is such a magical elegance within this poem, and it truly amazes me how Karla's poetry affects me.
This poem here is just beautiful and very unique.
The message to me is of a love lost or a forbidden lover perhaps, and it's intertwined with passionate word display.
Bewitched and bedazzled, tangled in a web of romance is how I describe this elegant poem here. Truly one of her best in my opinion." (10)

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I Feel Pale
by Everlasting
7 pts

This poem captured my heart for many reasons. One, the words are simple yet woven thoughtfully to give the reader a new perspective, as I have only known "pale" as a complexion or something a person looks, usually in the face. But to feel "pale"? That puts awe in my mind... and it makes me wonder how deeply we can feel, that there are emotions we are not aware of. Each line is almost professed in this tone that convinces me this is reality, this is what we can't always control. We can feel our heart beating yet that doesn't guarantee we are alive in spirit, in mind. Another point comes to my mind that brings up a conflict. When people say, only we can choose what path we travel on and our own happiness, it is not always as easy as waking up one day and prompting change. We know we are alive and can make the most of each day, but I feel it is a process. Your mentions of being constricted in a coffin are vivid and contrast well with the crib where a baby sleeps... as it is morose yet portrays this innocence, that we should have comfort yet we have been led to this point of being trapped. I like how you worded "black baggages under their eyes" as the common phrase is we have bags under our eyes, yet that means we are carrying baggage, emotional often. The last line ties in the poem well, especially with your uncertainty of how you can go and interact with the world. Right now, all you see and are aware of is that the world is losing its bright colors. Maybe you don't know how to change that yet. I feel helplessness in these lines, like you are on the outside, looking in, a separate entity." (7)

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Haunted
by Jenni Marie
7 pts

"When I read a poem that has been poured onto paper with true heart and soul, I can't explain the emotions I too feel when I read it.
Jenni Marie has captured the true essence of writing within this poem.
The pain of a destructive relationship between another can cause such emotion and turmoil that the writer can't help but get it onto paper.
Truly a raw write that needs and deserves to be highlighted!" (7)

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Surrender my Smile
by Meena Krish
7 pts

"This is another write that I feel the pain and sadness as I read it. I could feel the "heaviness" rain down on me as the image of a person holding that shawl came to my mind. It brings back memories of my grief over the death of a loved one. Time lessens the grief and when you least expect it, something so simple as picking up something that belonged to the person, a smell, a song, a phrase will trigger the memories of that grief and take away your smile as you realize that indeed you will never see them again." (7)

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In The Midnight Hour
by Sylvia
4 pts

"I love and adore this song! So as I read this pretty poem by Sylvia, I couldn't help but smile.
What a pretty poem she has crafted here.
It's simplistic tones and word display is what gives it a shiny touch. Greatly enjoyed this poem.
I am always interested in reading poetry in reference to music, always excited to see the how the writer views the song and in Sylvias piece, she allows the reader to get lost in the elegance of the moon, seeing the elegance of midnight in her own words, just beautiful!" (4)

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Waltz of the soul
by Beautiful Soul
4 pts

"I like the fact this author has continued to work on his haikus and senryus, I see them nominated often so they must be well reserved. I feel this is a good Senryu, I like the opening line it conjures a lot of thoughts, Is he referring to dance as the art or something deeper? Is the movement poetry itself, it also links well with the final line when you talk about coloring a soul. There is obviously a fair bit of craft gone into such a small poem, (as a senryu should have) well done." (4)

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Clueless Parents
by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather
4 pts

"This is a clever, poignant piece that has a clear message, and it's a reminder that one must do more than simply speak. I am not a mother, but I do have a dog in my family, and I can understand the command we give, thinking it is as effortless as that. Yet, there is much lost in translation. We have to be examples, training the dog, then knowing healthy habits, which I think is also socializing with other animals or being outside of the comfort zone of the home. An animal must grow as a child must too. The tone in this piece seems neutral until the ending line, where I take it as both sarcastic from the author's standpoint yet a bit nonchalant from the couple's. That this dog they own is simply practice. But a child requires care and thought ahead, one cannot look at situations always in black and white. I feel that this couple desires an outcome and response from the dog, then the couple does not see the importance of staying or trying to get the dog used to this park. They go back to their routine and don't welcome change or altering their schedules. I also think of possible abandonment because the couple is not willing or does not have the patience, so they almost rid their worries and find another sitter or caretaker to deal with their responsibility. In the case of raising a child, I'm sure it's realistic if a mother or father works to have the child stay after school perhaps at a day care, yet it is not the sole solution and does not take the place of a parent doing activities with the child and teaching them. A fantastic, short piece that certainly holds an important message!" (4)

Thank you judge for the comment. And awesome poems everyone!

Congratulations to all the winners and hm's. Thanks for the comment and vote, makes me feel good that simple worked and that someone enjoyed it.

Great job this week: poets, judges and mods.
one of the rear occasions that I felt proud of being a part in this site

Congrats winners & HM's!!

Congrats, all!

Thanks for the HM & comment!
Congrats to the winners & other HMs & thanks Judges & Jane

Congrats everyone!

This was a nice surprise :-)

Thank you judges and Jane~

Thank you for the lovely comments and congratulations to the winners and Hm's :-)

Thank you judge.

Thank you for the lovely comment.I am glad my poem could affect you.

Thank you for your comment judge.

I have always considered myself an spectator. That probably plays a role on how I was feeling that day. And it's true, there's a process to follow. The question is which one is the best process?

Congrats winners, and Hms. And thanks mods too.