Poets Formed by Their Own Words - Round 1 Comments & Scores

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1 - Highway Scriptures - Total Points: 188

Judge One - 58 points
Form - 18/30
Content - 40/70
The quatern is of moderate difficulty, and this poem adhered to the form. The chosen refrain didn't seem to need the comma in the middle, and it made the flow quite clunky. The poem may have read better with some use of meter to give the 8-syllabic homogeneousness a bit of rhythm and interest.
The lines "dropping upon a stranger's tongue" and "shadow readers become my friends" are fairly good - showing that the writer appreciates sharing their most intimate thoughts with readers that will remain forever mysterious but understanding. The concept was not unique, but the writer handles it with honesty and earnest.
The most important part of this form is the refrain and I felt the writer could have chosen a better one, or written the surrounding three lines in each verse more seamlessly. It was placed quite awkwardly in each verse. It was also clear that the words themselves could not breathe easily within their constricted form, and the writer was feeling the restraint.

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I love Quaterns!
I absolutely loved the general view of this poem.

The simplicity of word choice, yet the depth
of the feelings the poet is trying to reflect is remarkable.

It's obvious that the poet covered the topic in a
very direct way, expressing their relation with poetry.

The poet however could have done better relying
on this form!

Best of Luck

Judge Two - 65

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25 for difficulty and execution of form
40 for content
Judge Three - 65

Although for-filling all the requirements I feel it missed the mark in places. Maybe that was due to the punctuation, the comma in the first line threw me "Depths of my soul, crave poetry" and it struggled to flow from there.

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2 - Synergy - Total Points: 178

Judge One - 68 points
Form - 19/30
Content - 49/70
The haiku's brevity might make it a less daunting form, but it is difficult to execute it to the breathless perfection it is known for. This poem adhered to the form rules of the website. The words had a gentle cadence. Bonus points for rhyming the first and third lines in a way that added effect to the content.
The first line was as trite as the last one was not. But I place more importance on the last line in haikus, so I thought overall this poem was quite effective in leaving an evocation of vulnerability and abandon.

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I think the effort made on this Haiku was not enough.
The last word "reaped" seemed a little forced,
although the 3rd line does relate to the prior parts
however it did not really fill it up.

Nevertheless the form is well applied.

Judge Two - 50

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15 points for difficulty and execution of form
45 for content
Judge Three - 60

The rules for this form are pretty blurred but traditionally they are not rhymed, about nature or the seasons. I marked this down as lines 1 and 3 rhyme, and although it has a depth to it that I like, it's not about nature or the seasons.

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3 - Poet's reflection - Total Points: 189

Judge One - 57 points
Form 17/30
Content 40/70
It takes guts to attempt a villanelle and this poem stayed true to form. The grammar wasn't great. There were some spots where a comma was missed, or an apostrophe misplaced, misspelling of 'polls'. The rhyming was a tad forced, especially the intriguing bit about 'mythical moles'. The pace of this poem felt a little disordered with its wordy and uneven sentences.
It was clear that the writer had thought sincerely about the subject and there was a lot of truth and density in the poem. However, I felt the execution just wasn't effective. The alternating lines often didn't seem to connect within their stanzas. And there were too many images crowding it. Despite the rhyming form, it almost felt like an essay. I would encourage the writer who thinks with such impressive gravity to focus on fewer concepts/metaphors per poem so the reader can be given a cleaner and clearer impression.

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An interesting poem. Expressed the topic in a general way,
although it would have been better to sense a personal touch,
but taking poets in general was also well thought of.

The flow seemed to be a little off in different stanzas,
as well as the bond that held the whole piece seemed
to be broken a little bit.

The images were pretty nice, but should have made
a stronger relation with each other to convey the
message the poet was trying to make.

Best of luck.

Judge Two - 65

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22 points for difficulty and execution of form
45 for content
Judge Three - 67 points

Certainly a cleverly written poem to adhere to the rhyming scheme but feel the poem could have been a little tighter with less filler words used, this would have conveyed the emotive content more effectively

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4 - Poetic Ecstasy - Total Points: 171

Judge One - 64 points
Form- 19/30
Content- 45/70
The difficulty level wasn't very high, but the form chosen was quite sweet and correctly executed. Good start to the poem, using some fun alliteration. I smiled at the third stanza - very pertinent. There was a natural flow to the poem except in certain places where the phrasing was awkward (especially in the second and fourth stanzas), exposing the limitations of the form for the writer. Nothing about the poem was striking, but a good attempt at basic formed poetry.

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The title is somehow boring, to be honest. I advice
the poet to come up with something more catchy.

I was caught with the 1st line, but then
the opening of the 3rd line turned the flow already off
before reaching half of the poem yet. As in giving me
the feeling of something forced to fit it.
"..and grow they do".. etc

In general the rhyming seemed to be forced throughout
the entire poem. This could sound a lot better if it was edited
into a free verse because the poet obviously got some good
ideas that were restricted by the rhyming scheme.

Judge Two - 40

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17 points for difficulty and execution of form
50 for content
Judge Three - 67 points

A lovely joyous read that hopped and skipped along. "A pen that wibbles" learned a new word here. My only criticism was the last line, it just didn't flow as well as the rest of the poem.

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5 - Poetry - Total Points: 161

Judge One - 53 points
Form - 18/30
Content -35/70
I gave some credit to the creativity of this form, merging two correctly together. However, I felt it was forced and a bit naff, without much 'art' in it at all. At the same time, it had a rambling effect that reflected the content and a humourous sense of irony.

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Great job doing an Acrostic Loop.
I love the wondering within oneself in this piece.
The word choice was plain and simple that it does
reflect indeed "rambled thoughts" but that was not
in your favor.

I think it was okay but not really competitive.

Judge Two - 50

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18 points for difficulty and execution of form
40 points for content
Judge Three - 58

A whimsical poem but think the rhyme scheme is wrong, unless it is meant to be abac ?

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6 - Stress Builds Character - Total Points: 157

Judge One - 45 points
Form- 13/30
Content - 32/70
This poem was difficult to read. The form was correctly followed but there were a number of factors that let it down. There was a lot of unnecessary and varied punctuation that did little to ease the flow of the poem. The strict syllabic count forced the writer to break sentences quite obviously so the enjambment was usually off. There were a lot of words about pain and anxiety, but the poem didn't seem to go anywhere. The message of the poem was hardly felt through the drama of it all. However, I noticed there was an instinct for putting similar sounding words together at the end of the sentence - like ' escape', 'always', 'hate' and 'breathe', 'relief', 'anxiety', which made me think this poem could be more effective if spoken. I also liked how the poem started and ended with heat.

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There is fire in this poem, there is a lot of energy in it as well.
But! it is all scrambled all around. In other words, there is
something about this poem that needs to be organized. Something seems
to be missing. Not satisfying for me as a reader, and a little
disappointing as judge, for there is a gap between the coherence
of this piece and the rest of the entries.

A bunch of great thoughts thrown around. At one point,
it seemed to be really off.

I am fond of having the title within the poem,
yet it did not really flow at all. An Etheree should
feel less edgy. But best of luck.

Judge Two - 40

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22 points for difficulty and execution of form
50 points for content
Judge Three - 72

A clever poem with some great lines "because my meds don't always do the trick" being one I really liked. I do question the use of the word emptily which works for syllable count but not with meter or flow. But all in all a good read

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7- The Cookies Poems and The Crumbles - Total Points: 233

Judge One - 79 points
Form- 23/30
Content- 56/70
Woah. After (very painstakingly) checking the form, I can say it correctly followed the strict structure which I imagine would have been difficult to execute. This poem was unique in its delivery, playful with its metaphor, but, through its seeming frivolity, achieved some depth of thought as well. It reminded me of Gibran's quote... something like "words are but crumbs from the feast of the mind". The cookie crumbs are elusive, useless, lost little remnants of an experience, and poetry is often like that, and writing it can feel like quite an inorganic practice... but it's all we have. So far down the list, this poem has made me think the most, and I've had to reread it several times.
However, it must be said that it is exhaustive reading. This is usually the shortcoming of sestinas where writers are forced to reuse the same words so many times. Luckily, the cute and clever subject matter did much to detract this, but it still felt very repetitive and the metaphor was laboured towards the end. Choosing such distinctive words to repeat would make it all the more difficult to provide variety through the whole poem. The shorter lines and sentences were refreshing as they provided some breaks in the content and showed control over the form. I would have liked the author to have played a bit more with this. Still, this was a bold effort.

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A very challenging form. Hats off for the courage of this poet.
I am fond of the thoughts and ideas in general, and of the
novel way of expressing one's relation to poetry.
It just seemed sweet in a weird way.

Although I respect the choice of this form,
as well as the way the poet chose to express himself,
however I found a problem with the narrative part.
Not talking from a personal point of view, but from
a reader's one; the poem seemed to be more like
a personal biography. But it deserves to be on the
well written group-list.
Hard Luck

Judge Two - 70

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26 points for difficulty and execution of form
58 points for content
Judge Three - 84

Kudos to the poet who wrote this, beautifully executed, I loved how you related the cookie crumbs to poetry. Maybe a typo in stanza 6 where I think "felt" would have worked better than "feel" and the last two lines of the Tercet were a little wordy, but other than that well done

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8 - My Words - Total Points: 183

Judge One - 52 points
Form - 16/30
Content - 36/70
The form was delivered correctly, but this poem would have benefitted greatly with an iambic meter to augment the rhyming and syllabic structure. The enjambment was sometimes off-putting to counter the syllables. The subject matter was unremarkable.

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I totally loved this poem. I don't even have much
to say about it.

I love the title, the word choice,
I love the rhyming scheme except
for the "Cope" and "bliss" parts for they seemed a little forced.

I love the way the poet showed that poetry is somehow
his/her relief. That they write to escape, to feel better,
to express out themselves. I just loved that feeling.

Nevertheless, this one is on my top favorites.

Judge Two - 75

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21 points for difficulty and execution of form
35 points for content
Judge Three - 56

Although this is true to form it doesn't flow as it should, which I found distracting to the message the poet was trying to convey

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9 Addicts Anonymous - Total Points: 238

Judge One - 76 points
Form - 15/30
Content - 61/70
Ha. A free verse poem about the author writing formed poems. Sure, this isn't your typical formed poetry, but at least it's good poetry. That should always be the most important thing when writing or meriting a poem. The poet did not rise to the challenge, but many other people struggle with this free style, one that holds no boundaries and lays you bare.
This poem had a great tone, using its language to portray the scene and character beautifully. As I read, I could hear the writer's voice naturally. It was certainly a one of a kind idea. I predominantly score a poem for its uniqueness and impact, and this poem had both. The impact wasn't anything profound, but I understood the desperate, wry honesty it held. I think the repetition toward the end was overdone and all the short sentences were a little bit jolting... but were still quite effective in the role. Well done.

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One word: WOW!

Epic title!
Epic word choice, you are just something dear poet.
The wording and the honesty in this poem are
just remarkable. I was reading and reading
and reading until I reached the closing line,
then I was "rereading" !

This poem just stands out!
I understand that it was a free verse,
and to be honest I don't think you could have done
this good if it was a form restricted form poem because
such a piece needs liberty.

Excellent job! CREATIVE

Judge Two - 80

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17 points for difficulty and execution of form
65 points for content
Judge Three - 82 points

Although it is very difficult to compare a free verse poem to the constraints of formed poetry this poem didn't score highest it was still the pick of the poems for me. Though much longer than all the others, this poem had me thirsting for more. I was with the poet from start to finish, an addict like them.

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10 Inspire - Total Points: 211

Judge One - 56 points
Form- 18/30
Content- 38/70
This poem was nice and easy to read with no jarring punctuation and a clean, simple delivery. Again, as with most of the poetry entered in this contest, I was put off by the enjambment that was forced through the restrictions of the form. I would ask any poet when writing form - would you normally place a line break there? If it doesn't serve a purpose, change it, find other words for the form.
There was something very pure about the sentiment expressed in this poem, but it was not something I quite understood, metaphorically or otherwise. As a writer, I can't relate to whispering blessings to clouds with the ashes of someone else's poetry in my heart. The subject wasn't very clear or contained within the poem - it probably had more meaning for the writer than the reader. Without any context, it felt a bit wishy washy.

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The 1st poem to flow that well.
I wish it was more personal, but really glad
you wrote, what you wrote.

Claps for the doubling, it just seemed
one pretty well relating part!

Judge Two - 80

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20 points for difficulty and execution of form
55 points for content
Judge Three - 75

A lovely touching poem that speaks volumes with a few well placed words, what more can I say!

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11 Transformation - Total Points: 221

Judge One - 71 points
Form - 21/30
Content - 50/70
At last, a poem that shows some understanding of meter, and has a form and rhyme scheme that is pleasant to read. The placement of the fourth line did not really seem to fit with the stanzas. The 'breakthrough' part was a bit sudden and some other parts of the poem felt a little forced. However, I really enjoyed the concluding couplet - that was quiet and cheeky, and quite unique (especially for someone with apparent writer's block).
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I've lost the ability to
write on a whim, I cannot do
the melodic lines once performed
my words held captive and transformed.

My heart makes no sense of this wrong
no boundaries created for long
scribblings done on paper deformed
my words held captive and transformed.

Breakthrough is coming, this I see
poetry flowing within me
phrases released, subjects now warmed
my words held captive and transformed.

I've lost the ability to ...
(my words held captive and transformed).

Now this was something different.
I love sonnets, I have read a lot of them.
And let me be honest, this was a very special one.
The 1st poem to somehow make me go quiet,
and to shake my head in a positive manner once through reading.

I'm giving it an 85.

Judge Two - 85

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25 points for difficulty and execution of form
40 points for content
Judge Three - 65

I appreciate that this is a difficult form to write. I think the first stanza doesn't work as well as the others for although it rhymes "to" is mid phrase, therefore doesn't have the emphasis it should. I understand that in the rules the couplet, some may link the first line to the last line of the first stanza. But feel in this instance it doesn't work as well as it should, I feel the two lines are somewhat disconnected

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12 It Started - Total Points: 156

Judge One - 49 points
Form - 15/30
Content - 34/70
This is quite a melodramatic poem, laden with pain. I'm always wary of the use of extreme words like 'agony' or 'tragic' within a poem. To me, a good poem should be able to convey these emotions without having to articulate them. This poem left very little for the reader to interpret for themselves, it was too dominating. I was also not familiar with the phrase 'leaking depression baby' so that threw me off. This poem fell into the trap that often comes with the acrostic form - it was simply an array of fragments, and it did not make for good reading. However, I was a fan of the last two lines.
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Impregnating the mind
Triggering the creation of a leaking depression baby

Searing apart the soul with the agony
Transgressing from today to a life time ago
Arranging memories
Repeating the poison deep inside
Tragic was the start of a gift
Eternity is all that's left
Daring a pen to move on paper

I am not fond of the title, neither of the gerund form
in the opening word.

The poem seemed a little unorganized. And if I have to be
pretty honest, the only part that really stood out for me
was the last two lines.
I just believe you could have done a remarkable job
with an Acrostic.

Best of luck

Judge Two - 50

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17 points for difficulty and execution of form
40 points for content
Judge Three - 57

I found this poem hard to judge, I was emotionally disconnected. I found the lines were somewhat separate from each other maybe the fault is mine. Although I did like the last three lines and the reveal at the end, this saved the poem for me.

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13 Preying on Tribulation - Total Points: 230

Judge One - 69 points
Form - 17/30
Content - 52/70
Oops, a couple of glitches with the syllable count: the fifth line had an extra syllable, and 'thrive off of' is not good expression. Apart from that, I was quite impressed with how this writer was able to place line breaks that adhered to form and also had a good effect on the poem. They were able to use the form to suit their poem, rather than making it obvious that it was the other way round. I liked the first line, it was a metaphor that really struck home with me. The rest of the metaphor didn't quite make sense to me and 'wearing ink' reminded me of tattoos. I'm not sure if the delivery of the content served the writer's intentions.

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And I wear ink to live ?
Brilliant !

I am giving this Nonet the highest scoring,
despite the perfect "forming"
this Nonet flowed so well, so deep
that I smiled and felt so jealous it was not
mine!.

Very creative, very competitive, and very genuine.

Judge Two - 90

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16 points for difficulty and execution of form
55 points for content
Judge Three - 71

I enjoyed the message this poem conveyed even though it didn't adhere to the true spirit of the form, where each line should be a complete phrase. Also in line 4 "of" as a filler word to match syllable count didn't work

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14 In our Marriage - Total Points: 243

Judge One - 80 points
Form- 20/30
Content - 60/70
The first and last lines of this poem were quite incredible. This writer is a natural. There was a beautiful cadence to the words and each of them was chosen carefully and treated with respect. The acrostic nature of it was just a bit of gimmick compared to the content. That's what makes any formed poetry good in my books: it's not obvious that the words felt any constraints at all (which is admittedly a lot easier to execute with the acrostic form). However, sometimes the enjambment was a little strange, but this was easily forgiven because sometimes it was also really effective.
I loved the small, personal details of this writer's relationship or 'marriage' with poetry. Good, concrete stuff told deftly, yet there was much of the abstract present as well. Sometimes a bit too much, and here I would ask the writer to show a bit more restraint. For instance, the second stanza almost completely eluded me. It sounded very pretty but it also sounded pretentious and I had no idea what it was on about. I would encourage this writer to stick to the concrete imagery and let the abstract come through naturally and speak for itself. Great work.

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When I came across the title I wondered
how this would end up and I was not disappointed.

The structure was strong and I list it under the
competitive group in this competition.

I love the creativity and the imagination.
Fond of your word choice, as well as the privacy
that was reflected within your expressions.

An excellent piece.
Judge Two - 85

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18 points for difficulty and execution of form
60 points for content
Judge Three - 78
A wonderful emotive personal poem be it acrostic or otherwise, as you let the reader (perceive) they are invading your inner self. The last line tied it together beautifully well done

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Here's where I need feed back on whether I added up everything correctly.
Ranking by 3 judges:

14 - In our Marriage - Total Points 243
9 - Addicts Anonymous - Total Points 238
7- The Cookies Poems and The Crumbles - Total Points 233
13 - Preying on Tribulation - Total Points 230
11 - Transformation - Total Points 221
10 - Inspire - Total Points 211
3 - Poet's reflection - Total Points 189
1 - Highway Scriptures - Total Points 188
8 - My Words - Total Points 183
2 - Synergy - Total Points 178
4 - Poetic Ecstasy - Total Points 171
5 - Poetry - Total Points 161
6 - Stress Builds Character - Total Points 157
12 - It Started - Total Points 156

Congratulations to all who participated. Authors of the top 8 poems continue to the next round. Thanks to the other poets & be sure to look at Baby Rainbow's latest title toss.

Round Two: Authors of
14 - In our Marriage; 9 - Addicts Anonymous; 7- The Cookies Poems and The Crumbles; 13 - Preying on Tribulation; 11 - Transformation; 10 - Inspire; 1 - Highway Scriptures; 3 - Poet's reflection
Will have the 2nd Round Challenge on the morrow.

EDIT: Thanks, Ddavid for double checking my 1 a.m. math

As the creator of the form Loop Poetry may I point out the Full rules, including variations, (available on Shadowpoetry) for writing in this style...

Loop Poetry is a poetry form created by Hellon. There are no restrictions on the number of stanzas nor on the syllable count for each line. In each stanza, the last word of the first line becomes the first word of line two, last word of line 2 becomes the first word of line 3, last word of line 3 becomes the first word of line 4. This is followed for each stanza. The rhyme scheme is abcb.

Variations:

1. Stanzas, writers choice on the number, no rhyming, the last word, first word scheme is maintained.

2. One long stanza, no limit on number of lines, no rhyming scheme, the last word, first word scheme is maintained.

3. Couplets mixed with 4 line stanzas, the last word, first word scheme is maintained in the stanzas. It can also be used in the couplets. Rhyme scheme is ab, cc, defg, hh, ii, jklm, nn, oo.

As you can see, the author of the acrostic/loop poem clearly followed the rule as stated in #1 or #2.

To judge number One, woah! Thanks! It must have been exhaustive to read it several times. I don't think I can say which poem I wrote yet, but I have to say that since you gave it a lot of thought, it makes me happy. There's more to the content of the poem though, which I doubt anyone will truly understand. They may grasp the meaning but sadly it's hard to understand. ( edit: especially, when some parts in the poem aren't too clear). However, since you gave it a lot of thought after the contest is over, I could try to explain what I meant. But in short, nothing is insignificant. Every single thing for small as it may seem isn't useless... though true, elusive is a good word.

To the other two judges thank you too.

Thanks to the judges and Larry for putting on the contest, we hadnt had one in a while so great to see poetry back on the boards, well done to the participants too :)

Slight mistake:

poem number 3==> 57+65+67=189

poem number 10==> 65+80+75=211

These critiques are amazing! A big thanks to Larry and all the judges involved.

So since the cookie poem made it through, can that author please not write of food next time? I still want oreos.

For some reason Oreos seem to be addictive.

I can't wait to see what the next challenge will be about

Corrections have been made & thanks to Ddavidd.

I will post the next challenge this evening.
I need to post the Weekly Results first.

Don't forget Baby Rainbow's title toss

TEASER: The next challenge is all about YOU

:) :)

you most welcome Larry

Everyone did a great job, I agree with the judges on most the judging! :) Thanks Judges & Larry!

Awesome job everyone!

Congrats to the winners

Congratulations everyone!! Wonderful poems all around and the judges did a wonderful job as well!!