Site Contest - Poets Forming Themselves: Final Realization

Here it all comes down to the final scores. First, let's break with tradition and review the poems themselves again.

1 Untitled (Line Messaging)

I contemplated taking chances
on fingerprinting the petals
of adventure onto my skin
as the breeze wrapped around
my waist and stood at a standstill -
murmuring the idea of
counting mistakes as blessings.

As I carefully rolled up
each leg of my frayed
blue jeans just above the knee,
I materialized each
of my faults as
a stepping stone towards Him.

Without glancing back,
I fearlessly crossed to the other side
and realized life could smell like
sunshine with a hint of
baptized river water
and the unknown
could be an unanswered prayer.

-----------------------------------------

2 The Journey (Terza Rima Sonnet)

There comes a time in life when a heart must fly
higher than a mountain peak in winters chill
far beyond a wheat filled meadow's pure green sigh.

Our souls are devoured with sorrowful still
a calm in the darkness of my lover's grief
our journey entertains with glamourous thrill.

Tear shadows break upon a mornings relief
we muster strength to share a secret untold
slithering out like serpents, from fallen leaf.

A single whisper falls upon ears of old
gambling a fated risk, melodies break
elders will bow from our departing scold.

A journey desired, blessing to partake
two lovers disguised as lost souls of heartache.

-----------------------------------------

3 Like Leaves In Oaks (Rondeau)

Like leaves in oaks, I'll learn to fall
from branches short or from too tall.
I'll see the streets with other eyes,
as winds swirl me to other skies,
when autumn comes with rain or squalls.

I'll learn to maul, detach, and haul
the auburn joy that is too fall.
For others sake, I will not rise
------------ Like leaves in oaks.

I'll fall in sidewalks all in all
To be stepped, picked by few, by all
as people hear the pines's long cries
as autumn comes with dark, grey skies
At last, I'll decompose and all
----------- Like leaves in oaks.

-----------------------------------------

Line Messaging [Challenging]: poetry form created by Angel Favazza ... wherein the poet utilizes the last line of each stanza to help represent an overall idea. So if the last line of each stanza is read together (separately from the poem) it will have an independent message or be a poem all on its own.

Terza Rima Sonnet [Hard]: Terza Rima is a poem with an eleven syllable count in each line and a rhyming scheme of aba, bcb, cdc, dd; the more challenging Terza Rima Sonnet has an eleven syllable count in each line and a rhyming scheme of aba, bcb, cdc, ded, ee.

Rondeau [Hard]: French form, 15 lines long, consisting of three stanzas: a quintet, a quatrain, and a sestet with a rhyme scheme as follows: aabba aabR aabbaR. Lines 9 and 15 are short - a refrain consisting of a phrase taken from line one. The other lines are longer (but all of the same metrical length).

---------------------------------------------

Judges' Scoring & Somments

1 Untitled (Line Messaging)
Judge 1
Untitled - 56 points
Form - 26/40
Content -30/60
While I appreciated the assembled 'line message' of this poem, it just didn't strike home with me. The main reason for this was I couldn't read truth in any of its depictions (except slightly in the second stanza). The poem was a set of pretty sentences that were clearly thick with the author's ideas of faith, hope, resilience and determination, however they failed to deliver. Breezes don't murmur ideas, life doesn't smell like baptized water, and fingerprinting petals of adventure...? Don't get me wrong, I understood what you meant. But it was a bit over-processed, over..poetized.

Judge 2
1 Untitled (Line Messaging)
Score: 50
Well done for being among the finalists!
There is emotion in your entry, and a lot of thoughts, beautiful images and soothing ideas.
Your closing line stood out as well, in your last stanza. It was kind of heartfelt.
However you scored average because I thought as if this piece is an edited draft. In other words, it was not complete.
It lacked coherence and some logical connections between the stanzas. Moreover your 1st stanza is a bit crunchy; not flowing well at all for a start up. I (verb) (gerund) ...on fingerprinting "the"..."of"
it's just so built up with words that could be reworded in a different less edgy way.
Form wise, I think this is a very beautiful form, beautiful and less constricting than the other forms, and hence this could have been much deeper and stronger. Your last line in the last stanza, I believe, was not pretty dependent.
In all, I am not considering this as a bad poem. Not at all, but in compare of the other two entries, I believe this spots up the 3rd place.
Best of luck, and keep the beautiful poetry coming, whoever you are !

Judge 3
1 Untitled (Line Messaging)
A title would have been good and added to the overall impact of the poem. I liked the first stanza in fact the more I read this poem the more It grew on me. The last three lines when put together are a little stilted and don't flow that well but they do reinforce what I interpret as the message in this poem
30 for form
40 for content
70
--------------------------------------

2 The Journey (Terza Rima Sonnet)

Judge 1
The Journey - 72 points
Form - 25/40
Content - 37/60
There were quite a few errors with the syllable count per line. The rhyme scheme was correctly followed. I liked the first stanza - there was such a feeling of soaring expanse within it. I love the "wheat-filled meadow's pure green sigh" - wow. That line alone scored most of the points for this poem. It illustrated concrete growth, breeze, sight, sound, smell and touch, while abstractly conveying to me a sense of naive ('green') wistfulness. This multi-layered personification was exquisite with a true poet's touch. However, the rest of the poem just didn't follow through. I found quite a few oddly-chosen words that stuck out of context and tripped up my reading. I realized there was a secret love story here, but it was too confused by the phrasing.

Judge 2
2 The Journey (Terza Rima Sonnet)
score: 80
Congratulations for being between us, dear writer!
I am really fond of this poem. I believe between the 3 beautiful entries, this is the most coherent, if taken all sides into consideration; from word choice, to the flaw, to the general view, deep into the imaginary, feelings, and ideas.
It did not feel forced, rhyme wise and it was flowing well, despite that the meaning was fully stated in a beautiful way throughout the poem, except for this part "sorrowful still", well that seemed a little forced.
Your closing line, epic.
Hats off for such a form. I am pleased to have read your piece.
Best of Luck.

Judge 3
2 The Journey (Terza Rima Sonnet)
Don't like to start with a negative but 4 of the lines had 10 syllables instead of the required 11, lines 4, 11,12,and 13.
I read this poem many times but found it hard to judge, Although there were some nice lines and I really enjoyed the first stanza, I struggled to go on the same journey as the poet. It's a hard form to compose with syllable count rhyme and meter. Line 3 "with sorrowful still" I'm not sure what is meant by this ? are our souls still devoured with sorrow, or still a clam in the darkness. I think the compromise between achieving form and delivering the message can be difficult with some of these harder forms, maybe there was a little of that here
28 for form
38 for content
66
--------------------------------------

3 Like Leaves In Oaks (Rondeau)

Judge 1
Like Leaves in Oaks - 81 points
Form - 36/40
Content- 45/60
This was a difficult form and I thought it was followed beautifully. Good meter always helps a rhyming poem. Top marks for form.
While I found 'leaves in oaks' a bit strange at first (oak leaves being the common term), I thought it left a tender trace as a refrain. I would reconsider the jarring verbs chosen in the first line of the second stanza - for such a gently flowing poem, I found those words were unnecessarily riddled with power that didn't build to anything. I think 'too fall' should be 'to'. Autumn is a common theme among poets, but this one was conveyed with a wise eye and a deft hand. I felt it with a sigh.

--------------------------------------

Judge 2
3 Like Leaves In Oaks
score: 70
And you made it to the finals as well! Whoever you are, congrats. The 3 of you are winners.
As for the poem...
I love this poem. It makes me think of my life's journey as a human on this earth. It actually makes me think of many other things while moving from stanza to the other.
I have nothing to recommend to this piece to be honest, it felt complete. It felt as though written by Robert Frost's son.
I however scored it as second place, because one of the entries knocked this poem with a more coherent connection throughout the whole poem. Although this poem is well connected, however it lacked a certain depth that could have been achieved if the tone was not as general as you chose it to be.
Best of luck with this, and may you all accept my humble opinion regarding your entries.

-----------------------------------------

Judge 3
3 Like Leaves In Oaks (Rondeau)
An interesting form. This poem I also found hard to judge. The rhyme was a little pushed in places , the emphasis on "too" made the rhyme stumble a little for me, and squalls which doesn't rhyme would have worked better as just squall. There was a fair bit of repetition of some of the rhyming words, all and fall which I didn't mind in a couple of places but maybe one too many. Still a nice read well done.
28 for form
40 for content
68

---------------------------------------------------------

AND THE WINNERS ARE:

In Third place with 176 points is Hannah Lizette
In Second place with points 218 is Maple Tree (Andrea)
AND THE CROWNED FORMING POET QUEEN with 219 points IS Everlasting (Luce)

ONE POINT!!!!!

Luce will receive 15 Comments by me on her poems by 22 August
Andrea will receive 14 Comments by me on her poems by 1 September (because it was that close)
Hannah will receive 5 Comments by me on her poems by 11 September

---------------------------------------------------

Many thanks to the following poets who participated in this contest:

Round One Entries: Poets Formed by Their Own Words
(and alphabetized by their screen names)
Britt - 11 Transformation - Kyrielle Sonnet
Chad B - 2 Synergy - Haiku
Colm - 9 Addicts Anonymous - Form: Free Verse
Dark Secrets - 4 Poetic Ecstasy - Con-verse
Everlasting - 7 The Cookies Poems and the Crumbles - Sestina
Hannah Lizette - 10 Inspire - Double Tetractys
Hellon - 5 Poetry - Acrostic/loop Poem
Jad - 8 "My Words - Nove Otto"
Kakera - 6 Stress Builds Character - Double Etheree
Maple Tree - 1 Highway Scriptures - Quatern
Melpomene - 14 In Our Marriage - Acrostic
Michael D Nalley - 3 Poets Reflection - Villanelle
Moria Bella Bair - 12 It Started - Acrostic Poem
Poet on the Piano - 13 Preying on Tribulation - Nonet

Round Two Entries: Poets Traveling in Formation
Everlasting - 4 To the Sun, To the Hammock, and To My Sleep - Sestina
Hannah Lizette - 3 Internal Wanderlust - Quatern
Maple Tree - 2 Au Naturel - Triolet
Michael D Nalley - 1 Vacation Retreat - Ottava Rima
Poet on the Piano - 5 Outpouring of Life - Double Tetractys

Round Three: Poets Forming Themselves
Everlasting - 3 Like Leaves in Oaks - Rondeau
Hannah Lizette - 1 Untitled - Line Messaging
Maple Tree - 2 The Journey - Terza Rima Sonnet

Larry and the 3 Judges.

I also thank the judges who are released from their sacred bonds of anonymity and may reveal themselves if desired.

Thank you Larry and to the judges, not an easy task to judge formed poetry, all three of you did a nice job!

The comments were awesome and insightful, greatly appreciated!

Congratulations to Luce and Hannah, really nice to be in the finals with you ladies :-)

This was a fun contest for me and again I thank you all to be a part of this :-)

Maple Tree / Andrea

Thanks for making a wonderful contest and congratulations to all who won :)

Amazing entries everyone. It was fun reading and humbly judging your work. I was judge 2 in this final cycle

I am pretty impressed now, knowing who-wrote-what!!

Andrea your Journey poem was eppic! The 3 of you wrapped up an amazing final round.

Thanks Larry for the efforts.

Awwwwwww thank you Nana <3

Thank you everyone (judges, Mr. Larry, participants, spectators)! Congrats ladies. Andrea that was close!

Nana, I so knew it was you. By the way, in this line " It felt as though written by Robert Frost's son," what did you mean by Robert Frost's son? I'm not familiar with his family history. What was his son's name? I'll have to search for some of his poems.

Congratulations to the winners thank you Larry and thank you judges

I guess a lesson in proper use of 's may be too much to ask lol

http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/discussion/topic.html?topic_id=143095

Lol I'm far from a formed poet, I struggled but definitely enjoyed the challenge! Thanks Larry and the judges!!!

Congrats Luce and Andrea!! You both are wonderful at formed poetry so it doesn't surprise me at all that you were among the top! <3