Opinions please

I don't normally ask for comments, but I have an older poem I wrote 8 years ago, which when I submitted it on here, it was all one long poem, unpunctuated, and forced with rhymes.

The poem is about my friend's suicide, and it is 10 years since she died next week, and so I have finally decided to edit it, and make it into a better poem.

I know most people have probably read the poem before, but can you read it again and let me know if you think it has improved, or not.

Thank you.

http://www.friendship-poems.com/poems.php?id=861084

Commented on your poem. Great job!

Commented on your poem. Great job!