Weekly Contest Results 9-15-14

We had one clear winner this week, my fellow poets, and a FOUR-WAY tie break by the site. Just goes to show how diverse our judges' tastes are, which is awesome :)
Congratulations to the winners and honorable mentions! Thank you, judges! Thank you to all those who submitted poems this week, and especially to those who cared to read any of those poems and nominate them.
-Jane

WINNERS' TOTALS:

Dust to Dust by Masked Metaphor = 11 pts
The Stairway to Heaven by Everlasting = 10 pts
Snoitcelfer (Reflections) by CuriosityWasFramed = 10 pts
Sitting in the Park Alone by Maple Tree = 10 pts
Complete Understanding by Adreamer = 10 pts

COMMENTS FOR WINNERS:

Dust to Dust
by Masked Metaphor

"This piece is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

The 4 senses, mixed with a powerful message of life.. I'm speechless.

I love the formatting of this poem, breaking it down, sense by sense. The breathtaking details of nature and beauty of life is brilliant, and the touching elegance of life.. well written piece by Masked metaphor ~" (7)

This poem surprised me. It was a bit hard for me, to be honest, to get through ALL the questions. If it were me personally, I would revise it and bring some of the lines together a bit more, rather than have each specific thought a question itself, for "flow" purposes. But the meat of the poem, the depth, the beauty, the imagery - that is what made this poem front page worthy to me. I love the prompt and how the writer took it and ran with it, keeping my interest throughout the entire poem. This is definitely beautiful and different, nature overlooked. The feeling of death and a funeral of sorts, like another commenter said... I absolutely would love to know if there is something more in the writers mind or if it was truly just for the prompt? Beautiful either way!" (4)

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The Stairway to Heaven
by Everlasting

Love the title- Reminds of the song... I read this poem in silence and then I read it with the song playing, you really should read this while the song is playing, IT ROCKS!

This nature poem takes a new level of creativity.. it reads like a sonnet with the flow... Perhaps maybe the author meant to create a sonnet from the beginning? Either way I was taken back by its beauty.. the rhythm is what amazes me... just magical! The sounds of rain and comforting tones can be heard, felt and expressed.

Everlasting has rocked the Nature category this week with this poem! Top poem this week in my opinion~ (10)

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Snoitcelfer (Reflections)
by CuriosityWasFramed

"It takes a lot of courage as well as strength to talk about issues like this;
and share those inner battles and turbulent emotions with others.
To be honest this is something I've watched in movies, see the struggle people go through.
Here though the writer has bravely written about a very sensitive topic pouring
out all her emotions. The way this whole poem unfolds takes the reader through
each stage making writer and reader as one. A moving write which cannot be
judged but applauded with praise...take care." (10)

COMMENTS FOR HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Sitting in the Park Alone
by Maple Tree

"Maple Tree really captured her thoughts in a very straightforward, very vulnerable way. We all have felt left out of something, or judged for being a different way, and she pulled this together in a very personal message. There is a strength in the spirit that can absolutely be appreciated, and her hurt and fear was noted very specifically, something we can all relate to. This seems to be a healing, yet difficult, piece to write, and one that I found very enjoyable." (10)

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Complete Understanding
by Adreamer

"This is a heartrending piece and I am moved deeply by your connection with the rain and how you have this bond with it, joining it in the end. I love how you as a writer choose to not use capitalization, it almost expresses a vulnerability or sense of meekness... as well as your longer lines that illustrate your thoughts, curiosity, what you have learned about suffering and the seemingly strange beauty it is. The imagery is soft, contemplative, and almost reverent. I do begin to wonder why angels mourn, why their tears touch us, how a single drop of rain can be so alone. The image at the end of the raven refusing to sing adds an impending atmosphere of you trying to move on in life with a new home, knowing those walls are reminders of what may have happened with this love or words never said. But it is not home anymore. Profound piece." (10)

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Time Capsule
by Hannah Lizette

"Hannah always has very specific details throughout her poem, which makes me a fan of hers immediately. I feel like I am writing the words myself, or that they are my own thoughts, because the picture is just so vivid and obvious to me. The detail is gorgeous. I am pleasantly surprised with how well she put this poem together based on her challenge. It's not something I would have thought up, nor would most people, so definitely very original. Love this!" (7)

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Refracted Memories
by Tarnish

"I see this poem was edited and re-structured and I must say, I think it benefits the reader, though it is up to the writer in the end. I find it easier to read and the transitions here make sense. I think your style is quite intriguing. It almost is taking a complete thought, then single words at the end that add emphasis to what you are saying. There are a few places I thought the wording to be awkward and sounding forced, but that is just in my opinion. "swinging wonderful memories" sounds too contrived; I like the idea of "swinging" and these memories that come back and are alive, but "wonderful" seems cliche or like you added too many words before memories. I do love how you phrased "a lingering scent of chromatic hibiscus"; it's specific and adds intimacy and something unique to the piece. It also makes me think of the onset of fall or winter, where you are trying to remember this person and the hibiscus plant trying to bloom. The third stanza expresses to me the slow and subtle change in communication with this person, as one began questioning the other. I like the idea of "heartache blue" too, as usually I would think a writer would use a color to describe the noun. The character banging his/her fist on the door is vague as I don't know specifically what happened, if that "war" is now silenced or if the source has been found. The ending lines are heartbreaking, especially with how you say "and scratched your face, and bailed... and almost". There's intensity here, anger, then a softness with the last word being "Repeat". Almost like at this point you almost lost the one you loved by trying to leave the car, whether you had had enough or you were simply trying to get the truth out of them and they wouldn't answer. Thoughtful, emotional piece." (7)

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Excerpt from a dream
by Everlasting

"An interesting title and an interesting title. A dream within a reality or a reality
within a dream to have two souls blend as one and move swiftly in sync! I could
also hear the writer's voice coming through in this piece. Its as if she is
talking with her other half. I especially liked the fourth stanza; as it was vividly
smooth and touching. The tone, the feelings and the smoothness of this whole poem unwrapping gives the reader a warm feeling..enjoyed this read!"
(7)

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Falling In Love
by Baby Rainbow

New side of Saffie this week... it's elegant, vibrant and full of love, romance and life. I adore who style and this poem is flavored with such a pretty flow.

She is challenged to craft a poem on someone else's few of falling in love.. that's hard to do and yet she mixes her own thoughts and feelings in the mix which is what I felt while reading.. really admire this lovely poem! (4)

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The Pianist
by Alanis

"I keep going back and forth between the formatting of this piece, and while I feel like it could be separated into stanzas, it flows well when in a paragraph form. I see this pianist as delicate, loving, and yet the last line makes me view her as lonely. I like how you used "mortal" instead of "human", like what she plays and the music being her companion is a look into something everlasting, something eternal. I especially can relate to how you mentioned she forgets the past, and all the worries and burdens of the outside world. I can understand becoming lost in the moment, letting the heart speak and not letting other distractions or nonessential things take over. In the fourth line though, "she forgot who was", you forgot the pronoun after "who". Unless you meant it to read "she forgot who was"? Which makes me think she contemplated others around here as a whole, and is not focusing on something smaller, her own self. There are a few places I feel you can refine your usage of pronouns, such as saying "hands" instead of "her hands" since it is implied she is the only character in this piece. Calming and comforting piece though!" (4)

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In a moment
by ShadowsEmber

"This indeed made me smile and nod my head in agreement. In a moment, is
a reality write that each one of us have gone through and experienced it. In
a moment anything can happen, by accident or not; you come across this
person, a stranger who then becomes your whole world. I especially liked the last few lines:
The world falls into place again.
And everything you believed in the past becomes a distant memory,
And he is your present,
And hopefully,
Your future.
Such a sweet and loving write with a wonderful ending that leaves a smile behind." (4)

Perhaps maybe the author meant to create a sonnet from the beginning?

^ Oh Judge! You are awesome. How did you know? I was trying to write a sonnet for Robert's thread. Though, eventually, since it was raining, I became really inspired that I lost track of how many lines I was writing.

Then when I realized it, I couldn't cut anything so I left it like that. As far as the rhythm, every line is 12 or 13 syllables, and like two lines from the lasts stanzas are 14, but each one is written in iambic while following the rhyme scheme from the Australian Sonnet except till the last part of the poem. However, you just made my day for having notice. Thank you!
The rhythm is iambic. I love meter. Though, if you like how this one is, Anapest sounds even better in my opinion.

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To the other judge, I love your emotion! I can feel it as I read your comment. Also you made me realized something I did not know. Thank you.

Congratulations everyone.

Holy crap i won O.o And on my birthday o.O freaking weird...
Thank you guys :D I didnt think i would win

Edit: >.> What an interesting way to come back to writing too.

Congrats to everyone, I love that this week was so diverse. ^ Also happy birthday :)

Fantastic week and i cant wait to see what everyone writes this week :)

Congratulations winners and Hm's :-)

Judge: I truly thank you for your comment on "sitting in the park alone"-- I almost didn't post that poem due to the message.. being personal and painful not to mention a bit controversial.. but I am very happy I did post it and I am happy that you granted me an hm :-)

just made me smile today, so I thank you again..

Congrats to all, especially Nei, who took a long time to put herself on the poetic block again!

Thanks, judges & Jane for posting.

& where are my manners

Thank you for the comment :3

Congratulations to the winners, and to the HMs.

Thank you judges :)

xxx

Congratulations to all.

Congrats all!

Thanks judge for your lovely comment! :)

Not to call you out, Andrea, but I had no idea you were Wiccan. That's awesome! I'm sorry there's a stigma there, but it's a beautiful belief system. One of my closest friends is Wiccan (she has the Wiccan reed tattooed on her arm), as well as my favorite professor at community college (she taught Cultural Anthropology and Anthro of Religions). Really cool.

Anyway...

Awwwwwww Jane thank you!!!!!!!!!!!! My great aunt was my guide as a child growing up.. Life is beautiful being wiccan and I thank you for sharing with me :-) It is a bit difficult here in New York trying to find others who share my beliefs but I remain positive. Again I am smiling with the loving support I have received since posting my poem, again thank you :-)

:):)