Weekly Contest Results, 22 September 2014

This is a week of the generations, ladies all, from the anticipation of life by young Luce, then the early reminiscence by Jane to Hellon's apocalyptic dirge on man's intolerance. Three judges determined the outcome. We have one more week for the current crew and are obviously still looking for replacements. PLEASE volunteer!

Swing by Silvershoes 10+7=17 points
The Rose and the Gardener by Everlasting 10 points
Lunar Water by Hellon 10 points

For Espee by Sincuna 7 points
Lost by Mark Spencer 7 points
No One by Cassie Hughes 4 points
I'm Not Strong by Kakera 4 points
Halcyon by Zeugma 4 points

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Swing by Silvershoes (10)
The opening lines already sets such a divine atmosphere that I can wonder what it would be like to drift among stars. The idea of the cobbled stairs to the heavens connects with me that this would indeed be experiencing something new, venturing into a new realm of discovery. I love how you then voice that fear of moving ahead, like you may not be able to return or will forget everything on earth, or your grounded memories. One of my favorite lines: "When I try to dig one up, ink hemorrhages from fissures in my skin and my mouth clogs up with poet's blood". That is such a distinct image that screams and I feel it screams your fear, fear of the unknown and that this dream may not be as satisfying and fulfilling as you wished. The question of "Who are you to me?" is striking as it carries such self-reflection with it. We do have to think of our impact on others but also how others impact us. Why do we spend time with certain people? What are our reasons? Is it love? Commitment? The mention of the beast in the last few stanzas was neat, as it may not have a certain name but you both almost created it and it stands between you so to speak. I feel like this could relate to vices in our lives that act as barriers to living in the present, or having goals in the future and actively pursuing them. I am almost speechless in the ending. This person close to you is finally asking a question, the why, and there seems to be a point where you cannot understand each other anymore, even in plain words, some things aren't known to this person and that brings a sad aspect to this poem. Well-written!

*****

Swing by silvershoes (7)
Jane is a wordsmith! Her unique gift of mixing creative words with her message is one of the reasons I faint when I read her poetry! "swing" - The rhythm and motion of the relationship... that is the meaning I get from her title...
love it!
"When I try to dig one up, ink hemorrhages from fissures in my skin
and my mouth clogs up with poet's blood." <-------------------------
This line shows just how brilliant and captivating this poem is! Powerful line! From start to finish I was speechless!!

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The Rose and the Gardener by Everlasting (10 points)
Lucero has a way to grab her reader's attention, deliver a story along with a message for life. What I also like is that she has used nature to illustrate that every action has a reaction. The first stanza shows the gardener's greed for beauty and the second shows a rose's stubborn view; no matter what the gardener does her love remains steadfast and with it her beauty too withers not giving him the enjoyment of a long lasting rose. Lucero gave the rose a voice as well as character...liked this read.

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Lunar Water
by Hellon
This poem is out of this world unique, creative and breathtaking. I was so captivated by its metaphoric beauty and then so deeply saddened by the message. Beautifully heartbreaking is the phrase I use for this poem by Hellon. It's incredible.
The first line is one of the most powerful first lines I have read in years... its mixed with devastation and beauty... Racism, greed, and death, while mother moon dies... Oh I can't express my love for this powerful, world tragic poem... Just mind blowing!! (10)

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For Espee by Sincuna (7)
There is such a sincerity in this piece that I can almost feel it tangibly. The first stanza is written simply but expresses the one truth that this silence has burdened you, and you cannot live with it any longer. The questioning in the second stanza is heartfelt and so human, as I feel we all ask ourselves why we said something in the tone we did, affected a person this way, etc. Your voice has an understanding and maturity to it as well, that as easy it would be to wallow in the sorrows, we must not repeat our past and go back and try to relive it better.
"I would much rather sit beside you
Watching the flowing river before us,
Listening to the current
Dividing,
And translate what it tries to say."
- This is such a calming, meditative image. Like this intimate moment shared between you, among nature, can heal wounds and open up communication again. What I notice in this piece also is that your voice is firm; you are not wavering back and forth with this person but want them to know you will listen if they come back, you need direction, and the "voice of the wind is waning".... it is like you need closure. The second to last stanza is beautiful in its purity, the desire to share that simplistic moment with someone, the shy smile or the light in their day. The ending is heartfelt and I find it sometimes hard to explain to a person why I am sorry, or what I don't want to happen as it takes a vulnerability to admit and make that confession. But you've done it here, so openly. That final image of speaking to the walls is powerful because it shows your true desire to be with this person and work on the distance, speak with them no matter how it went in the past.

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Lost by Mark Spencer (7 points)
I like the message in this write. An important lesson of life has been taught here using "driving" as a scenario. The driver is on his way but somewhere along the line gets lost; at the same time filled with doubts and fears. Then in the fifth stanza he tells how divine intervention put him on the right path showing him the way. Perhaps showing much more creating a renewed sense in life. I especially liked these last lines:
Though life's byways might seem a bit cris-crossed
To find your way sometimes you must get lost
^^Yes so very true. Sometimes we have to get lost in order to find our way and live life with faith. We all have our fate written and once in a while God shows us the way when things go wrong. An encouraging read.

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No One by Cassie Hughes (4 points)
A simple poem yet it speaks of truth, sadness and hurt. A life that has gone unnoticed until death. Its a pity that no one seems to understand the hurt an individual goes through, the life she craves for and the happiness that has been invisible to her. The simplicity of this poem with individual lines standing on its own creates loneliness and a cold sadness...touching.

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I'm Not Strong by Kakera (4)
Kakera had me in tears this week. This poem was intoxicating and sad. I was drowning and drunk in sadness with this poem! Fear of merging into life.. fear of letting go mixed with insecurities is my brief synopsis of this piece. It's one I related to completely... truly touching!

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Halcyon by Zeugma (4)
In my poetry class at school, we are studying several poets who have a similar style as you do in this poem. By that I mean, you start a thought on the last line of the stanza, and continue it on the next as an opening. I like that and your voice paints a vivid picture of this young person, their innocence and how easily the world can destroy that. I want to care for this person as well and protect them. I also love how soothing this poem is, it has a genuine read and a good flow, almost reads like a lullaby. I find it interesting how you used the word "virtue" and how significant virtue is, and preserving that. But you realize and admit that one's doubts and fears can ruin virtue, that it is seemingly a battle to be fought by that one person. Yet you still feel compassion and fear that this day will come soon, where you cannot be the shelter for this person. The significance of "halcyon days" here is apparent, especially in making me think these calm days, peaceful "nesting" period, will not last forever. Heartwarming piece. And welcome to the site, by the way!

Congrats all, great variety this week!

Way to go, congratulations everybody!

Amazing poems this week! Thanks for the HM and congrats to the winners and other HMs!!

Well done all

3 top winners this week

Congrats Hellon, Jane and Luce

well deserved.

Congratulations!!!

Woot thank you

And congratulations everyone.

Wow, thank you! I edited the poem a lot, but I'm happy with how it turned out - feel like I was able to get across what I wanted to about a relationship that's been prominent in my life for a decade.

Thanks for the recognition, and congrats to the other winners/hm's.

Congratulations winners, and well done HMs!!

xx