Weekly Contest Results 10-6-14

No idea where anyone is. We have 2 sets of comments/votes from judges. It's completely our fault that we do not have more because we have not promoted the new judges. I'm on it right now. Very embarrassing. Sorry.
Congrats winners! A DOUBLE WHAMMY for Senyru. Woot!

WINNERS:

Smothered Whispers
by Senyru

"The imagery in this is enthralling and daring. I can feel the adrenaline in the opening lines and imagine the "we"- this spirited couple, possibly living off adventure to make their love endure. I love the structure and how you format to signify the transitions. Something I noticed a few times while reading is that many lines can stand alone and stun the reader in their raw passion and desire. Some of my favorite lines are: "the city was ours for conquering, and we refused to come down from the throne". There is so much determination there, energy, actions being led by emotions rather than rationality even. In the third stanza, should "memories we thought was ours" be "memories we thought were ours"? It is intriguing as well as you involve the reader in the city's flashy lights and atmosphere, then show the reader how you became your own city. There is a lot of intimacy and hurried actions, trying to outdo time so to speak, but like you said there are all "empty gestures". I also like "i kissed perfection on the eve of insanity". This line reminds me of our human desires and sometimes when we are led by them, blinded in the moment, we bear disappointments and heartache. In the author's note I read that the lack of capitalization was intentional and I admire that here. I am not sure what your intent for that was, but I have read that some authors do it to show the vulnerability of humanity, that no one is greater, not the narrator using "I". By the end of this journey, the haziness and confusion that is present in the opening lines has reappeared in the end, but it seems more quiet and like you both have accepted this confusion. This loss of identity and what love is. It reminds me of the distinction between what we think we need and what we want. We want to be loved on a deeper level, not just in the heat of the moment and excitement. What a vivid piece, well-done to both of you. I still am unable to tell which author wrote which lines or how you both collaborated on this, as each lines flows flawlessly. Good job." (10)

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Cadentia
by Senyru

"Senryu you are a genius when it comes to twisting and turning me into 80 different angles in a poem. I twisted and turned on the meaning so much that my head popped off! In a good way of course, this poem screamed out to me.

The title alone had me looking up its meaning... Latin I believe if my search is correct and mean is to "Fall out"... If my search is correct than my angle of being with one person and yearning for another...
Now, the reason my head blew up is because I started to twist on my angle of message and feel like this is a piece of music.. However my search can't support this theory. I thought oh how wonderful, being with a certain type of music for so long and then finding a new, fresh music...

Then: I mixed the two... music is love... This poem was so damn creative and when a poem makes you want to do research to help with the lovely intervals of reading messages, well- It becomes a 10 in my eyes. Beautiful piece of poetry Senryu, and I hope by me saying "damn" didn't offend you or the members of PnQ but I was very excited with this poem :-)" (10)

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The Crane Bar, Galway
by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather

"What an enlightening poem! The idea of "souls painted" is an intriguing and powerful thought, especially even if these faces are in rest and relaxed. It seems these stories are still in motion, alive, unashamed. The first stanza actually reminds me of how much we try to rid ourselves of regrets and certain memories, washed clean so we do not have to carry them with us. But they still are in our paths of life. The wrinkles part also makes me realize how many adults around me obsess over aging, and all they can see is what it does to your skin, not to how you learn or grow. I like how you specifically speak to this generation, commenting on the younger one and how easily they can manipulate. I do have a few suggestions: maybe add some punctuation in the last stanza? It seems to read as one big breath. Also, "To" does not have to be capitalized? I am re-reading over and "long times" seems awkward, just in my opinion, could you give a specific time or say long nights perhaps? A neat poem though, glad I came upon this." (4)

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"I truly adore and love the "older" generation. The maps of mysteries and travels upon their faces are such a blessing to read, and listen to.

Larry has mastered the difference between Older Men and Younger Men to a tee in this powerful poem. His descriptive wording to me to visualize Older gentlemen talking in a group and I started reading their faces. The message was just.......... WONDERFUL! A delightful read by Larry this week!" (4)

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HONORABLE MENTIONS:

The Naturalist by
JaneDoeWrites

"Such a devout tone in this piece. I love how you emphasize that distance between nature and yourself. Indeed, there always seems to be something in our way, a barrier, an electronic screen, masking nature's true and unfiltered beauty. Your word choice here is fantastic such as "digital syringes" and the mention of veins. "deydrated" should be "dehydrated" though. Never would have thought of a pairing like that! Also, in the second to last stanza, should "canaries" be "canary's" since you are referring to that one song? I think the ending line works so well on its own because after sharing your heart and your simple desires, what you want to feel and hear, that thirst remains. That one human thirst we all have to be connected with life on a much more substantial level. We all seek to be satisfied and for some merely reflecting within nature's presence is enough. I have not watched the video you refer to and were inspired by, but I will have to sometime soon. Thanks for sharing." (7)

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Octavis.
by Poet on the Piano

"Another mixed message of beautiful poetry I chose to highlight this week!

MaryAnne, your unique style and fun quirkiness really made me smile!

At first, I feel like you are writing about someone close to you, which brings out such deep emotions, then I turned my thoughts a bit to think it's in regard's to a Shadow... which gave it a dark flavor. By the end of reading, I went off on a reader's path of my own thinking this could be about a spider. This poem was a fun and yet powerful read. WELL DONE!" (7)

Congratulations to the winners Senyru and Larry and the honorable mentions. Were there any other judges comments that haven't been posted, just looks a litte sparse this week.

Congrats, Mark and Larry! And thank you judge for the HM... that made me smile about the spider and I'm glad you could interpret it in your own way. It was about a stranger who stayed in the same building as I did and we saw each other for a few days yet didn't speak much.

Congratulations winners,

And thank you to those judges and all the judges who volunteer their time.

and MaryAnne, thank you too.

Congratulation is in order to the guy who for the first time scored "two wins for the second time."

It was stated in the making of this post:

"We have 2 sets of comments/votes from judges. It's completely our fault that we do not have more because we have not promoted the new judges. I'm on it right now. Very embarrassing. Sorry."

Congratulations Mark and Larry :-) and to the HM's ... lovely poetry ~

I wonder will there be more judges? if so how many? I'm curious....but I shouldn't be also congratulations to the winners of this week! :)

We now have our 5 judges for the term. Thank you to those who came forward!

And to those who didn't!! :) :)

Ddavid! lol that's hilarious but it takes courage to step foward I don't lol

:) :)

I'm back from a two week vacation in Ireland! What a treat to get a win from a poem composed on Guinness in a Pub in Galway! Thank you, judges. Congrats, Mark for your double.

Jane, glad you held down the fort & managed to get 5 live judges before I got back! Thanks for dealing with the mess.

O come on Larry she had nothing to do. Actually she was so bored she complained why we didn't all fight, and acted so civilized .

We need a "like" button

Even for the like itself!!