2015. roll up the rap guns, it's time for battle

So back
In the days we used to have these rap battle threads where foul language was allowed and members through bars at each other!
Time to get this ritual back to life!
I know yaki, abc, Thomas and michy Nd a couple of others
Had an amazing set of skill
Where they at?

^ "foul language was allowed"

With the exception of the f bomb ;8-)

I rapped with Turkeys that Jived with their tongues,
back in 2005 when a lot of you were young.

I'd sling my words like a hussy from the streets
battling ding dongs, shaped like hostess cupcake treats.

I'd sit on the side waiting my turn
wondering where and which fool I'd burn!

I don't have to cuss to get my point made,
I'll slice your stanzas with a blazin hot blade!

So bring it on people
this old Tree is ready to rap,
just don't make me wait long,
I aint got time for that crap!!

This place is way too quiet
so let's give it a shake
time to make some noise
yeah..a P&Q earthquake.

Or maybe a tsunami
will do the job
or we could just invite Shank back
you remember...Bob the Knob?

Or what about d-d-ddavidd
he was always quite game
but I think he's still here
using a different name?

ABC? Well, he morphed man
you now what I mean?
became someone else
felt like a change of scene (I guess)

Mmmm...that guy called, Ismal?
his avatar was a cat
or did the mods cut him down
with a splat..splat...splat (the prat!)

Oh...and Rabea don't you leave, hear
don't check out on us again
cos I'm so lookin' forward
to rappin' words until you're slain!

If I've forgot your name
don't feel too miffed
just join in the fun
do you get my drift?

Lets start 2015 with
a good old blow,
well I've now said my piece
so I'll zip it...Yo!

I don't remember Thomas or michy Nd
do you think they ever rapped with me?
I have been accused of breaking rules
and borrowing a few lines from fools
Maybe MD is not my full name
and ten mile high isn't my game
not the best with poetic feet
but sometimes I am hard to beat

Yo this is M
now lets start the game.
All the rep you have earned
in a second I'll burn.
And dont you dare to pass
else I'll whip your arse,
bring you to your knees
cover you in sleeze.
So baby boy do you dare
to play?
Or you dont care
to stay!
Like a mistress I'll reign
now let game begin!

PFffttttt hold the queen is here

Causr, this is effortless, i write a hit in two minutes i am
Limitless. I am a beast on the mic i am merciless
A little bit latina a littl bit of black everybody wanna feature yakari on a track.

Uuh... u stay mad cause i am an artist
And u on that blacklist. But i ain"t even commenting
I keep it objective like a journalist

;)

Michy is you Micheal =*)
Any how here goes

Gimme the phone and the microphone
There will be no other king, in this crappy zone

This shit is on, let it be gone, bring out your drones
Cause I'm here to stay! I'll slit your damn neck and I'll have it my way.
No play, it ain't a game cause i ain't paying for the shit you do
Don't make my tounge shoot hard at you!
It's ture
I ain't gas,but I'm causing fire
So Don't drop when you see my fliers
I ain't weed,but I'll make you higher
A lyrical micral with a thug desire

You know what?!

Let's make this forum be like soup.
Everyone take a spoon.
Let's all eat it while is still warm.
Uhmm.. I think I'm going to puke.

Where's the love?
Where's the love?

This soup does not taste like home.
It's juiceless and tasteless.
Jesus... The smell is overrated.
My taste buds are restless.

Hellon, if yo got some spices
Bring them to the table.
Michael, if yo got some peppers,
Please, share them!

Mr. Larry, if yo got some knives,
Make them extra Sharp!
Because Rabea has arrived
With a package of meat under his arms.

Everyone else just sit and watch
This show will be like iron chief
Where the participants cook words
for the judges to eat and rate

Though if you wanna add more ingredients
Bring them forth with your experience
Just place them on the table,
Grab an apron, and yes! battle Maple.

And about Yakari, don't worry about her,
She just said, she is the queen,
but who will be the iron chief of this?

See while Luce is trying to cook her soul food
I'll be the one setting and owning this mood
because spices ain't gonna have no effect
when I hold the flare that no one would expect.

You think you all can arise from your hidden graves
but can't you see you're still trapped in those caves?
You're becoming slaves to a life that has lied to you
and your time of resurrection is too long overdue.

Sit and wait, you ain't going nowhere with that
think you have a hot tongue but your words are so flat
rat-a-tat-tat, do you hear my drums beating?
that is my voice returning while you are still retreating.

XD

Enjoy this read!

A

I'm an anarchist, and an angry academic activist, axe and assassinate the alphabet in an ambulance. ahki I'm aggy and I'm actually anti arrogant artists that ask in american accents by accident.

B

Batter babbling battlers with a bag of batteries, ban these bias blaggers because they're badly backwards b, batty bible bashers get badded basra to brackenbury. baffle backpackers with bars bad as a big of b.

C

Catty crackheads get cancelled canada to canterbury cussing my click catch a cavalry crashed into casualty. A cunning culprit that covers conversation candidly, cool calculated cannibal that causes carnage casually.

D

Diddy Didn't Do Diddly, Dead it, Did it with Dignity. You Dilly Dally and Diss from Distance Dig it I Disagree. You Did it for Digits, Dickhead Dummy I Do it Differently. I Define Deliberately Diligent Delivery.

E

Cause Everything is Everything it's Evidence my Essence is Every Element, Effortlessly Edit your Enterprise with Eloquence. Elevate with the Energy of Eminem, Every Entity that's Ever been a Enemy I'm Ending them.

F

The fact is I fracture factors to fragments fantastically, fibbers fabricate fallacies and find fantasy. I flip faithless fellas from fakers to flippin fans of me, flippantly famish and finish these fanatics factually.

G

Give gangsters gangrene and gain green gradually, grapple and gatecrash your gathering with a gang of Gs. Gallivanting geezers get guided to the galaxy, or gallows for gambling with a generals geniality.

H

Happily hack hackers that happen to have a hack with me like Hatton I'm habitually hazardous how it has to be. Hospitalise haters from Holland, Holloway or Hackney, hate hagglers and I hang 'em with a handkerchief.

I

Illustrius illustrator, illest in the industry, illicitly cause illiterate idiots injury. Impatient cause Illuminati impede my innovations, while ignorant imbeciles idolise my imitations.

J

I jack a jackal for his jacket and just jam, got jittery jockeys jabbering, Jamaica to Japan. Got jealous junkie jokers jabbing, January-to-January my journal is a journey just don't jinx my jiggy jamboree.

K

I'm the key, the king, the Kaiser, reminding my kin of karma. I'm a kangaroo keep in your kennel you curb koala, kidnapping kleptomaniacs since kindergarten, killer. Kitties will give their kidney for a kit kat or a kipper.

L

I'm the lyricist's lyricist, livid with little listeners, listen I'm loving living cause life is literally limited. My live lyrics lift lyricism levels luckily, til I leave the labyrinth of London and live in luxury.

M

Meanwhile my motives to motivate and mobilise my monster men, my missions to minimise misdemeanours, mere monuments of these midgets make me milli for minutes, I may be a mad Mongrel and a manic Mesopotamian maniac.

N

No my narratives, not for narcoleptic narcissists. Naive native nitwits natter negative nastiness. Numerous naughty nymphos niggle up to my navel, no, I neglect the negligee and navigate to Naples.

O

When I operate, obsolete opposition get obliterated. Often obese officers ogle as their occupation, obviously offing other obstacles is my obligation, originality over Oscar ovations.

P

Poisonous Poets, poised at the pulpit, pulverise poachers and pointless posers with potently poignant poems, practically panic. Paparazzi passive passengers planning to pack P's and prang patchy pampering pansies.

Q

Quality over quantity, qualify quantum physics, I question quarrelly quacks and I quickly quadruple quizzes. A quarter get queasy and query with queer quotes though, these quirky quibblers get crippled like Quasimodo.

R

Righteous revolution ragamuffin repping reality, really rebelling, recruiting ready regiments rapidly. Remorseless renegade, riddims and records ripping radio, rapping rattlers really rally rating my ratio.

S

I separately severed several stupid students for steppin and still slewing sacrilegious super sadists in seconds. Speak to Styz and savagely smack up studio sessions, suave swingers spitting sickest similes in seven.

T

Topped the talent and tenacious tendencies of Tyson, tipped as a terrifying terrorist tackling titans. Tokyo to Tennessee, taxing timid tourists, through turbulent times I tangle with total torment.

U

Understand I'm unbelievable, that's an understatement, uglifier, giving ultimatums to undertakers. Unanimous, undisputed, unfuckwithable, unforgiving to ugglesome uncles they're unoriginal.

V

Verbally violent and victims validate my visions, vaporising, vanish various vigilant villains. Vividly victorious over a variety of vixens, venomous viper vanquishes vampires with vengeance.

W

These wobbling wackos are just waiting to work for wages, my words are weapons willing to wage war on you wimpy wasters.

X

See thru you xenophobic x-men with an x-ray, x out xmas with an x-rated sex tape.

Y

Yuppies are yapping, I'm yawning, yearning for yesterday, years when youngers played with yo-yo's not yet with yay.

Z

I'm as zealous as Zeppelin and Zappa in my zones I zoom like Zoro I zap these zonking zebras, my zone's a zoo.

How many letters left?

Zero.

Aye hence the enjoy the read

Parody of a parody by "Weird Al" Yankovic

http://youtu.be/JZjBZQPhEnE

They see me growin'
My fresh corn
I know they're all thinking
I'm so outright dirty

Think I'm just outright dirty
Think I'm just outright dirty
Can't you see I'm outright dirty?
Look at me I'm outright dirty"
I wanna hang with
The moonshiners
But so far they all think
I'm too downright dirty

Think I'm just too downright dirty
Think I'm just too downright dirty
I'm just too downright dirty
We really downight dirty

Fill up my class here in Tennessee.
Got skills, I learned in Kentucky
Big Smo , that's my favorite MC
Keep your rap to yo self, leave me be

My gal runs around, but she sure is perdy
She says she' twenty but I know she's thirty
I'm just too downright dirty
We really downright dirty

I ain't seen no smack
cause maybe y'all lack
the eggs of a jellyfish
and can't serve a dish
with any real flavor
that we can all savor
cause when it comes to it
takes heuvos - ya blew it
got no hash time game
just sendin stuff 'ats tame.
Well listen up pansies
you ain't in Kansies
no more but this ain't Oz
either no yellow bricks 'cause
either you chickens lay dirt
or put on your shirt
then go home tail tucked
and know you been plucked
dinner's at eight
you're on the plate.

Lol Michael, thanks for sharing. I like how weird Al writes. Specially the parody call "Aluminum foil" and "word crimes."

---

Lowkey as in lucky? Oh yes I am.
Though Here I am, in the a.m., oops not yet,
But almost there, is still the P.m.
Almost time to hit the bed. But before I should say,
I'm enjoying the alliteration, and the rhymes, and the way
Y'all rap, so let's all clap, let's hear a Holla at ya,
or you know what
I ll be back

I ain't looking for Oz, I'm the wicked witch
haven't you heard? Listen here while I throw
you my pitch, enrich you with fingers of death
that offer dreams no breath.
Black dress, black hat, ain't no messing, can hear
your dreams go ker-splat! I dance in the sky
no one can deny I am a feisty spirit your
heart can't reach, so when you try to melt me
I'll spit and cackle as I give my speech.

Listen here, I resurrect your greatest fears
so when you're in the kitchen itching for
souvenirs, I'll be the hunter, you the prey
as I bury you in some kind of twisted ballet.

Those ruby red slippers - your verses I'll
take down like egotistical zippers.
You won't be able to glimmer anymore;
you might want to think before you ignore
my warning... I'll watch you be betrayed
by all you adore while the world reveres
my broomstick and I, soar.

P.S.

Dear Luce, Luce, please don't be a goose,
sleep can wait but this battle is our fate!

Here we go again, another rap thread
yet you've started, without me.
I used to be ABC, used to have a fat head,
now I'll spread honey
cause I'm a devout bee.

Just kiddin', I'm more about the killin,
More loud than chillin,
Cast everyone's name to death
Cause I torture MC's lyrically
Like I murder the alphabet

I'm still saving my best, since you never impress
It's best if I sever your flesh
While you're shaving your chest

Whoops, there they go... the hands of the clock,
the ticks and tocks, and a minute more,
and I could almost gotten burnt, Twice, not thrice,
by the fire you set in your words,

But let me ask you: Mary-Anne, feisty girl,
black dress, black hat, but where is your apron gal?
Here in the iron chef kitchen anyone that cooks,
abides by the outfit rules of a cook,
there's no excuse,

they cook your words,
you cook their words,

You eat their words,
they eat your words,

Everyone cooks. Everyone eats.
You see, there's no time to be a goose,
I merely took a snooze,
I didn't come here to be anyone's food.

I'm just a person with the cold, the flu,
who intrude in this forum with an excuse
of wanting this thread to be like soup, Ouchoo!
just to introduce myself to the rapping crew.

Though, just so everyone knows,
I ain't no judge. I ain't no host.
But I have heard of the wicked witch
that spits and cackles as she speaks.
They say she has a pitch that kills,
and enough skills,
to make anyone who isn't her friend,
want to jump off the edge of a cliff.

And since, Mary-Anne has said,

"Dear Luce, Luce, please don't be a goose,
sleep can wait but this battle is our fate"

I am ready to stomp my foot on this thread,
I'll smash everyone who gets on my way,
This battle is our fate.
I'm ready to fight my adversaries head-on-head.

Who is first?

See 9 to 5 I ain't no office worker
but it looks like you're the one shriker
because see, I have two personalities.
While my night job requires me to fly
and steal the dreams from those awry,
during the day I mix and mingle with
the minds of those who are single, trying to
cook my way to the top so there's no chance
that I'll be overrun or my power drop.

Luce, you mouse, can't you tell?
I don't need no apron to wear like a smock,
I ain't no mama's girl, I come ready to rock!
No, I ain't gonna baby you children here
when you try to be a clever engineer and
race me with your newest invention
of food or flight or whatever demands your attention.

I don't eat and I don't cook. I consume
whatever you have tried so hard to groom
and my soul drinks in the city and the rush
but you seem like the type to stay hush.

Go! Go gush your hopes of surviving to
someone else, because it seems like right now
you're just trying to convince yourself
that this ground you stand on is holy, must
be worshiped, but you better start praying girl,
because I see your fate (my wait) dying slowly.

:P

Mary-Anne,

Edit: You do rock!

You rocked me to sleep. lol :P

I'ma turn up the heater of this rap thermo-meter,
Blow up your leaders in exchange for babysitters.
Cos ya'll acting like babies with rabies,
I'm gonna have none of that
poor raps from lil brats like you're luring traps for lil rats.
Called me a burger king? I'm more like a murder king.
An assassin that spits rhymes like nail files to a casket,
you're near the end of reading this, like you're closing the book of your death.

Change my demeanor? You wna be in a coma, be a dreamer?
Be careful what you wish for
cos I rebel the world when I'm meaner.
By the way, I think you misspelled the word "winner".

Let's talk about that part you spoke,
Yes, I've mastered the art to choke,
and now I'm aiming at your neck,
as the part to choke,
So stop acting like the smartest bloke
Unless you want me to turn you into my chart of jokes.
Or into the baboon whose heart you broke.

Battling me is like teasing the trigger of a nuclear bomb,
I'm more ruthless than Saddam, added with a leader of Islam.
Go grab a book of psalms, while I sit here calm and in charm.
When beside me, you'd look like a loser in his prom.
Go look for your Mom before I blast you with Napalm
and send you from Canada to Guam.

Here's something you don't know about me...

They call me boomerang when I'm rhyming slang
Plus I hit back harder like the Klu Klux Klan.
Also all-around like Yin and Yang.

So shouldn't you know what happens
when you flatten a circle?
I become TIME, you faggot,
You better learn that lil riddle.
You can't even touch me
Like swimming through the ocean
to find a needle.
I'll splat you til you're brittle.
In a pool of poo you'll be the ripple,
I'll hurt you so bad you'll turn into an inaudible cripple
You'd be a vegetable, my pupil!
Your face be so sore, it'll look like an orangutan's nipple.
Now isn't this applaudable, people?

I'm not even done yet,
You called me impotent
and "Fat Man",
Don't you know your facts, man?
Fat Man destroyed Nagasaki,
Don't you know your history? (go google me)
now notice the Irony, even you
admitted my supremacy
these are lil things about me,
now bow to me.

I'm lyrically insane like I got a dictionary stuck in my membrane
you'll be in pain, when I'm done with you,
you'd be like Kurt Cobain's brain
blasted with cocaine
decorating the wall with blood stains.
I own this game.

I never tire, I keep a huddle of tricks as my ammo,
If you're on fire, then you're a bundle of sticks you homo!
Flaming fag! When I'm saying shag, I didn't mean
you gotta be playing drag with your gay friend Brad!
It was funny though seeing you brag
and being a proud lad about it as you gagged.
(Damn these rhymes,
I'm just a lil out of line cos I'm High)

I'm a beast that'll keep eating you,
but you taste like shit and I'll keep spitting you.
I got my fists prepared to never stop hitting you
You'd be like a burning Jew; ashes will rise
your raps are pillow fights compared to this genocide
you cannot hide! Just sign out and let's call it suicide

This homo lost, yo!
But I'm a lil sorry for the holocaust jokes.

Well that was a bore, dude your rhymes are corny.
You can't make a wild horse horny if you were dressed like a pony.
I'm so sexy even wild whores call me,
ill paid like Bill Gates is my homie.
Stop acting like a phoney.
You're a personified malady spitting baloney.
If I'm an 8-course meal, then you're only salami.
Godamn, G!

Diseased? I'll leave you buried then; I can never "dig this creep"
I'll diss this freak make you piss your jeans
and mess you up so bad you'd be able to kiss your knees.
And miss your feet lil pip-squeak.
I bet you want us to follow your twitter feeds,
you're still in your teens, and I know it's selfish
but I won't even allow you to beat me in your dreams

That's right, you're only ambitious,
I'm a rhyme genius, they call me Rap-Jesus.
I'm Michael Jordan in his prime, you're only a fetus.
Think I'd be choking? you must be joking or delirious
Y'all want to hear something funny?
Seeing Sen rap is like watching a tranny... in her period.
Sad thing is, I'm being serious.

Now before I arrange your beheading,
I have to go to my friend's wedding
So in the next few days I'll be out of town
I know you'll miss me this time around,
but please don't frown, or cry and shout
'you know what they do to loud
bitches in the pound' tsk tsk ;)
Just stop rapping like the saddest clown.

So as your master, here is my advice:
Don't be whack!
unless you want this Terminator to terminate ya, Goodbye!
...but "I'll be back".

--

Senryu: in all seriousness, it's been fun and you're a good sport. I feel kinda bad tho we hostaged this thread :D have fun with other battlers, I'll check back in 3days