Weekly contest winners 1/6/2015

Another week, another set of winners. Well done to all involved, the judges were torn this week and we see a wide spread of votes reflecting the quality produced in the last 7 days :) Thanks to judges as always. The site broke a 4-way tie for the thrid front page spot and one judge will get their comments in later in the week :)

Winners
Bald is Beautiful by Baby Rainbow - 7 + 7
Death by Fire by Wandering Lost - 7 + 4
Three Poems by Mahal Kuya Ko - 10

HM's
When the Roads are blocked by Effusive - 10
Dreary Night by Senryu - 10
Shoulders of Giants by Larry Chamberlin - 10
The Entropy of Our Kindness by Kakera - 10
Mother's against deadly deputies by Michael D Nalley - 7
137 shots by Beautiful Soul - 7
Obsession (acrostic) by Meme - 4
Orb of Night and Evil things by Maple Tree - 4
A Leaf of a Flower by Scott Cole - 4
The Shadow of My Heart by Cassie Hughes - 4

COMMENTS

Winners
Three Poems by Mahal Kuya Ko - 10

Comment to follow.

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Death by Fire by Wandering Lost - 7 + 4

'The theme in this is dark and dismal, like the desire to burn, to die in the flames so you are no more and there are no remains. Such a finality. Your voice and presence is strong in this piece, like you dream of setting yourself free in the end so you don't have to live through the pain of life continuing in that self-destructive cycle. The fifth stanza is clear and haunts the reader, how you ask to "wash my existence away, to swallow it up in bottle sized gulps and help me waste away."

The mention of the "addiction" in the last stanza adds intensity and depth to this piece. It immediately makes me think of alcohol and wanting to drown in it, so it can consume you and all of the pain, so you don't have to keep fighting. But addictions can be overcome with time and patience and support. We are all a work of progress.

There are a few places where I feel you over-used the comma and it wasn't needed for a natural pause such as in the third stanza, line six and in the last stanza with the last few lines. I feel so many commas served almost as a distraction since you already have the next thought on a new line so it reads easily and is easy to comprehend.' (7)

'Comment to follow.' (4)

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Bald is Beautiful by Baby Rainbow - 7 + 7

'This is a beautiful piece that serves as a double entente (minus the owning part), for both humans and animals, there are a lot of issues that this poem touches on, especially the part that humans have a tendency to place an emphasis on beauty. It made me think of how many pets were abandoned because they were "not cute" anymore, as they grew out of the puppy phase, and the other animals that will face a lot of problems being adopted because they are not "idealistically beautiful". Also reminded me of this HONY post, https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/photos/a.102107073196735.4429.102099916530784/952700878137346/ A well thought out and heartfelt piece.'

'Powerful and Touching animal poem by Saffie this week! The love and unconditional love from an animal can be heart gripping. This message sends out several messages in one and I cried at the end of reading, blown away by this lovely piece!!'

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HM's

When the Roads are blocked by Effusive - 10

Thought-provoking piece. I like how you open your poem up by insinuating that the sentences have ended, this woman
has stopped writing but it is almost like the poetry is alive in her. All of the words she could never put in ink. When there is
nowhere to go, she still goes on and finds a way out, even with that "road block" or "writer's block".

"goes on by veering from one genesis to the other"
- great usage of the word "genesis"; it's a powerful word I don't hear quite often.

Well-worded and flows brilliantly. The imagination of the mind and passion of the heart is at play here. How a mere human is able to create the world and be their own creator
of thoughts, of other worlds, of actions, of dreams. Of anything. That is the mystery and great beauty of poetry. Poetry is living.

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Dreary Night by Senryu - 10

A mesmerising piece of art, again this writer outdid himself. First of all the structure or the layout which was more than interesting and eye-catching and to be more accurate it suited the theme perfectly because the length of the poem. It's a collection of scenes each narrated in a romantic template, each is a poem in of itself and perhaps nostalgia is the common prominent feature along all of those harmonic parts.
His unique wording, smart use of alliteration and assonance and creative personification made it worth reading from start to finish.
Somehow the poem reminded me of Alphonse Karr's great novel "Sous les Tilleuls" ... it's that sweet state of confused kind of love.

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Shoulders of Giants by Larry Chamberlin - 10

Spectacular and powerful tanka string by Larry this week! I loved it!!

The message of who is the giant? The parent or the child? Child leans on parents for comfort and growth but the parent learns from the child's strength. Such a powerful and beautiful life experience.. Lovely poem here!!

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The Entropy of Our Kindness by Kakera - 10

An absolutely phenomenal write, powerful in every aspect, and flawlessly executed. The imagery produced in this peace is surreal, and like none-other. The metaphors and slight personification used in this piece are welcomed, this is probably one of, it not the best nature poem I have ever read. It stitches together nature, and the destructive nature of mankind.

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Mother's against deadly deputies by Michael D Nalley - 7

I like the great wisdom and message behind this poem, direct words, smooth flow and resonant tone, in this mad world perfection is an illusion indeed. Very neat writing.

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137 shots by Beautiful Soul - 7

Comment to follow.

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Obsession (acrostic) by Meme - 4

Typical acrostic, the right words were carefully chosen to carft the interesting title, a sense of great suspense and urge to know how the poem will endm and it ended very well. A beautiful short piece.

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Orb of Night and Evil things by Maple Tree - 4

I'm not sure if you need the semi-colon after "darkness", since you are not starting a new thought but continuing
onto "hidden". Maybe place the semi-colon after "Mother Moon" instead? I also suggest using a more unique, lively verb
to describe the weeping star that "fell". I feel you could give more of an image of that star, just like you personified it as weeping.
I find it intriguing how you call the moon a mother as well, since in my mind I see the sun as more of a mother, but what if the sun is father sun instead.
Beautiful wording. The brevity works well here and definitely creates an impact. This reminds me of the darkness (evil) hidden inside of all us, and we try to
seek the light in order to find hope again. The image of the weeping star falling from the moon's eye creates such an interesting twist, like it is not sadness but that
sliver of light that guides the way in the blackest of nights.

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A Leaf of a Flower by Scott Cole - 4

What a unique and elegant nature poem written by Scott this week.. This poem can have several messages entangled with it... It also is humorous and elegant.. loved the pretty rhyme pattern.. wonderful!!

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The Shadow of My Heart by Cassie Hughes - 4

This was a beautiful piece, and written from a creative and interesting challenge, though there are some issues regarding captilization and grammars, apart from that, it was a touching piece. Well done!

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Thanks all

Thanks for the insightful comment, judge.

Congrats to the winners and fellow HMs.
Thanks, Colm for hosting and to all the judges.

Congrats everybody! Great job to all and thank you, Colm, and of course the judges.

Congrats everybody! and thank you for the HM as always it means a lot to me :)

Congratulations everyone.

And thank you to the judges. :) xxx

I thank the judge that wrote their comment on my piece with the bottom of my heart. That sort of praise given unto my first real nature poem is amazing to me, and I'm absolutely joyful about sharing the four-way tie for third place with such other great poets this week.

Congrats & thanks all around!!!

Congratulations to all you beautiful writers! :)

Congratulations to the Winners and HM's (: Thank you, Judges (:

WOW! really guys these poems are just fantastic! well done winners and HMs :))

Here are the comments from the final judge :)

137 Shots

I give this poem points because what it says needs to be read, and it needs to be read often and with focus. Poetry ought to help us react to the world around us, it should make us think twice when we read it first, and should draw our attention back periodically to relive the moment. Likewise, the #blacklivesmatter movement isn't about recognizing just once that there's injustice in the world. It's about continually reminding ourselves that injustice exists and that our silence is tantamount to complacency. I hope people read this poem and click the link the poet offered. I hope this poem might make someone stop and consider what they're doing, and that it kindles some fire in them to change the world.

Death by Fire

I like this poem for the ease with which it accesses rhyme and rhythm. There's a lyricism to its production that acts like a motor: motivating the reader to keep going. This feeling is assisted by the repetition of words (burning, shards, too late, something, etc.). I'd like to see more from this poet as they develop their style.

Three Poems

Some poems exist in a space that is beyond description, and I think this is one. It's beautiful and I don't think I could say anything more to praise it than that I will read it often because I love it.