COMPETITION!!!!!

Just for fun..with a fun topic (I hope) write me a funny poem about this poor poor creature....the 'screwier' the better. I will be expecting entries from Abey,Jane,Larry,Luc,Britt Michael Nicko (CUMMON MATE) definatey Narph and...hell...EVERYONE!!!! this poor chap needs our 'LOVE'...

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/angler

a 4 day teaser...just post them here.

Oatmeal Bucks (haiku)

Signed prints of a fish
who is never on the ball
lost his heart to lust.

Looks like Larry will be the winner. Just thought this little unfortunate fish (who is willing to give his life for love) would have inspired some of you. There's still time left people....

Just now seeing this and my work won't let me open the link -- will do so tonight.

^^^^"a 4 day teaser...just post them here."

Wouldn't a four day contest starting on 20 June be open until 24 June?

Bahaha, I love the oatmeal. K, I'll get on this. For the record, usually I don't have an excuse for being absent, but my cat nearly died and then my house nearly burned down, so I've been busy.

Poor liitle angler

Poor little angler fish,
how most men relate,
giving up everything,
just for the chance to mate,
You come running,
When her pheromone calls,
She played you, little buddy,
and now she has your......

Wouldn't a four day contest starting on 20 June be open until 24 June?

^^^

yeah...that's why I said 'There's still time left people"...come along children, spit spot!!

HAH

I wouldn't enter but you called me out and now I feel like I don't have a choice. Ok. Whatcha got. I haven't written a poem in at least four months, so fair warning to you.

That's the spirit Narphy....if your entry is anything like the one you did about the hippo I'll be LMAO!!!

If he's smaller than your fins
and he doesn't mind your chins
He's a keeper
He's a keeper

If he's wrapped up in your scent
and he makes your heart content
He's a keeper,
yes, he's a keeper

If he doesn't mind your head light
and you don't mind his love bite
He's a keeper
He's a keeper

If you want his love for all time
and you don't mind a bit of mouth slime
He's a keeper
He'll be your keeper

If you want to tell your besties
that you've got him by the testes
He's a keeper
Always a keeper

There are all good...way to step up to a challenge with a difference!

Testicular Fortitude

The one thing that connects all creatures
are not necessarily features,
origins nor how they reproduce,
born intellectual or obtuse,
meant to be intelligent design
extremely dangerous or benign
here by a natural selection
or intentional erection!
Those who swim with the rarest fishes
I give you my sincerest wishes
that you can grow a pair on your own,
lethal desires leave you alone,
evolving you may one day stand tall
not sacrificing your very all!

Haw!!!!!

Haha!!! Keep them coming folks!!!!

Feminism gone bad

The tiny men,
they hid low
with hunger pinching
at their stomachs
and with all the strength
that he could muster
he had no power
but to be a wanderer

Weak is he who's drawn to her
that ugly hag with a stench
forced to follow signals
from the radar on her head
and little does the poor thing know
of the horrors up ahead

As they grew,
out of proportion,
and invaded
the vast blue seas
They sought out the essence
of manliness
which is him,
the weak little angler

She let him nibble
at her skin
thinking that he can be
more masculine

Yet, to his surprise,
he starts to dissolve
"Oh god, oh god, what's going on?!"
says he the startled fella
But he is late,
there's no escape,
he melts into her skin
"I don't need no man" said she
the feminist with bad teeth

... What did I even just see? LOL. Okay. Let me think....

She allows him to nibble
along her bones,
not realizing the attention
to eat stroke he would be making
in an effort to live.

He needs her,
with every inch
of his breath, and she can't
seem to feel the need
to push him away.

They melt together,
two in one
as it was always intended;
a female dominance takes over
into the newest meaning
of happy wife,
happy life.

I've sat down now twice to write a poem for this and failed twice. Words escape me! Enjoying reading the entries though and knew nothing about these mysterious creatures before so thanks for the link Hellon :)

I knew the topic would be a bit of a challenge :)

Colm, I only came across this little creature recently myself. It got a quick mention in a Jodi Picoult book I was reading so I wanted to find out more about it.

Still a few hours left..Narph...where's your entry girl????

This was the fish that was in Finding Nemo when they were seimming... just keeping swimming swimming swimming
..

Great. Now that's stuck in my head.

Title : The Angler Fish

Deep in the sea, where man has yet to set his feet,
a female angler fish lives, with big terrifying teeth,
she lurks incognito in the sea with a glowing spine
to lure with her brightness, fish that live in darkness
And then when they are enlightened, blinded by her light,
devour them in one bite... that's how this female strikes.

Though deep in the sea, where man has yet to set his feet,
a male angler fish also lives, with a small body, too weak.
He has no ability in life other than to hunger for a wife.
He needs someone to guide him and feed him in his mouth.
But his sense of direction and his clueless brain,
cannot help him find him a good mate, he lacks intellect!
the poor male angler fish, he is so innocent!

Though he was born with a great sense of smell,
to find a female to feed him well,
And when he finds her, he feels strong and big,
So he starts eating her like a pig,

Only to realize that soon he'll become the food instead.
Or rather, that the female angler fish's body will devour him
to be one with him.

Aren't you glad that you are not this specific fish?

Wrrkin on it

I dunno what I wrote but I wrote a thing.

She tolls the night, a headlamp heartbreaker
Swivels her scales, undulates, finds a mate.
He's a bit shy, but she gives him a smile
Tooth tip to tooth tip, he offers a butt-nip.
Fine finned ladies take fresh faced laddies,
Wanna be a daddy? Saddle up sonny, 
You're a spare pare of gonads
And this fishy is face meltingly good.

Game of Stones

In the Seven Kingdoms men call seas
many fish claim right to the throne:
Viserys Whiteshark driven from the realm,
Goldfish Jaime, koi and crafty,
even Greyjoy Whale seeks ascendance.

Yet deep below Daenerys angles her lures
confident that her dragon wise body
can absorb all that men can throw at her
and consume them in the fire of lust
with trophies collected of each conquest.

OK...I think it's now the 25th on the site clock? It's 2.00pm on the 25th here in Perth so..officially

CLOSED

Thanks to everyone who participated...it wasn't an easy topic to write about but, you've all done an excellent job. I'll read them all over some more and announce a winner shortly..

So...this was definitely not an easy topic to write about, it certainly took the word 'love-bite' to a new level. Thanks to all who participated (I hope you learned something about this little fella that you didn't know before...as I did. Britt, I had no idea this fish was featured in Finding Nemo so it's been a learning experience for me also)

Anyway....it was a very difficult choice for me to make. In my mind I had one clear winner but, I did think about having a second and third spot but, the others were so close it would have been splitting hairs. So....my choice is this one..

If he's smaller than your fins
and he doesn't mind your chins
He's a keeper
He's a keeper

If he's wrapped up in your scent
and he makes your heart content
He's a keeper,
yes, he's a keeper

If he doesn't mind your head light
and you don't mind his love bite
He's a keeper
He's a keeper

If you want his love for all time
and you don't mind a bit of mouth slime
He's a keeper
He'll be your keeper

If you want to tell your besties
that you've got him by the testes
He's a keeper
Always a keeper

Jane...somehow I had a picture of the Supremes actually singing to this one..you know...Diana Ross singing lyrics and the others doing backup with the chorus...am I weird or what? but the very thought of this scenario made me laugh the most and, therefore, I declare you the winner of this "ODDBALL" competition...

Jane the winning oddball!?
Yay! Great choice, Hellon

Weirdness abounds on this site
Ain't it great?

Lol yes Mr. Larry

Congrats Jane

Hahaha! I think the other poems produced in this thread held much more talent and thought than mine, but thank you very much, Hellon! Thrilled that I could make you laugh.

Funny you mention my poem giving you the impression of a song. I was feeling toasty on red wine when I opened this thread and was singing the poem out loud as I wrote it. I think I was singing it more with a saucy sing-song melody... If I wasn't such a baby, I'd record myself singing my interpretation on Vocaroo. Alas, I am a big, huge baby.

Fun contest. Thanks.

I think your poem would go very well with this tune....go on...I dare you to record it and post....you know you really want to??? Neck another few glasses of red if needed LMAO!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZSPtEv6R7g