Weekly Contest Results 10-12-2015

Congratulations to Yaki and Chelsey for their clear wins this week! Congrats to Ingrid for winning the tie-break between Senyru and Mr Darcy (Oh, Mr. Darcy! *swoon*), and a round of applause for all of the honorable mentions. Thanks to you all for keeping this site alive with your beautiful poetry.

Cheers to our judges for their timely, thought out submissions :)

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WINNERS:
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Trains and Nostalgia
by Yaki Gabriel
Total: 17

Comment 1:
"It's the journey that this poet has gone on that makes the reader sympathise with the words that have been penned here. While the writer is a strong and independent woman who does not seek sympathy, her ability to make the reader find comfort in her strength, determination and persistence is why I believe this poem is worthy of the front page.

The first line is relatable for all of those who have somehow lost their passion, spark or ability to write due to situations they are unable to control. The second line depicts a struggle every writer has gone through at one time in their poetic lives. The third line and fourth lines go beyond simply making a writer emphasise with her words, those who aren't writers are presented with a relatable concept.

I think what I love most about this is the lingering thoughts that somehow all manage connect together. It's evident this writer is able to ponder her thoughts and turn them into a piece that is not only realistic and raw, but also a very honest depiction of where she is at, and honesty is not something all writers are able to grasp in their own poetry. Congratulations of writing something this beautiful." (10)

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Comment 2:
"This is one of those so-called powerful poems. This is just heart touching. I personally relate to every word. It feels as though the writer, "Yakari" built a character in this poem that lives in every single poet and writer.

Your opening stanza is to moving, how you reflected your fight in keeping the poet in you.

A very lyrical piece. The closing stanza is so sad, and so rich with honesty and rawness.

Well done.." (7)

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Ibis
by Chelsey
Total: 14

Comment 1:
"Extremely inspiring. The poem has life embedded within it. It's like a thriller scene.

The idea of Ibis's soul and traits reflected thought these few lines is very touching, and leaves the reader with thoughts on bravery and strength.

Your closing line must be my favorite, it was very strong and full of impact.

Sometimes we find missing human traits in the most fragile creatures.

Loved this poem. Well done and thanks for sharing." (10)

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Comment 2:
"The imagery and flow already made this poem stand out, but the footnote drove it way over the top for me." (4)

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Forlorn (Tanka)
by Ingrid de Klerck
Total: 10

Comment 1:
"The poem shouts sour grapes, but that is a shallow interpretation. The building blocks of time, sand trickling down the glass, build a sense of despair - too late, too little left, no hope of sustaining the bulwark of a legacy. This cold forsaken land is the sense of aging, fatalistic morbid drear of the final end. Castles are for the young who still have the capacity to fantasize that life is all there is." (10)

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TIE-BREAKERS:
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Wayfarer
by Senyru
Total: 10

Comment 1:
"This is aboslutely enticing, thrilling, sad, lovely, every emotion under the sun was felt with this.
So I'm reading and reading and reading, and I stumbled upon the second to last verse.

it's the only time I ever feel safe,
knowing that the world around me
(even if for just a couple of months)
is beautifully dreadful as everything
that's in my world

^ I don't usually speak out loud when I read, but this one word and one word only came out of my mouth, "damn".

Mark, this is pure talent right here. Your vocabulary, your imagery, punctuation, consistant tone, just beautiful here. This poem on a scale of 1-10, 20! On a scale of A-F (In English grading) A++++
and I am not over exaggerating. I wish I could carry an ounce of the talent displayed here. My heart was captivated.

And that last stanza, wow. That last stanza has me completely in love with poetry again. You stirred my desire to write deeper and read more. Thank you for that. This is breath taking." (10)

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DIY Frontal Lobotomy
by Mr Darcy
Total: 10

Comment 1:
"I like the unusual presentation of this poem the writing style not to mention how I relate to it." (10)

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HONORABLE MENTIONS:
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Save Our Trees (Concrete)
by Mr Darcy
Total: 7

Comment 1:
"I couldn't help but vote for this poem. I could sit here and say it was the cleverness of the form, it's overall shape, the difficulty i'm sure it must have been to meet the criteria of the challenge, but these weren't the reasons I felt compelled to give this poem a vote. What it was for me was the intelligent depiction of a very honest concept evident in your writing. The title gave it away but that wasn't important when I was reading.

I was captured by your description: 'smudged mews' and 'eroded inlays', 'rusted opium fields', these are very raw and realistic descriptions. The contrast between man and nature was an honest view, you didn't sugar coat anything and with a topic like this, I feel as though people can get caught up in telling the story like a novel, you didn't do this. It was almost like a picture book, only with words, if that makes any sense to you. I think this poem is very deserving of the front page and I hope to see it there." (7)

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Cellardoor
by Ben Pickard
Total: 7

Comment 1:
"I love what Ben did here. I loved how chopped up this poem is and how each broken up piece gives a new tone to the piece. I like what he's initially trying to state here too, look at things a different way.
'nestles
in
your
mind.'
^ this chunk I thought was really creative to break it up like this. Making the stanza itself look nestled between the lines. Brilliant!

'What unimaginable wrong we have done these

perfect
linguistic
partners

by defining them thus:
dark
dingy
rusty
creaky
creepy'
^ Defending this was seriously amazing. I can't explain how much I loved this part.

This man is a genius when it comes to this poem. I mean absolutely intriguing. Wonderfully thought out!" (7)

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A Dame in Shame (monotetra)
by Meena Krish
Total: 7

Comment 1:
"Fabulous use of the form and the word choice as well. There's not a single forced rhyme, no departure from substance to inject mechanical coupling. (Although the dash in line two should NOT be there). The poem evokes a Grizabella - like image, the fallen, aged glamour queen immersed in misery, plagued by memories which, in retrospect, now are seen to lead inevitably to her current doom." (7)

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Hold You At Sunrise
by Ben Pickard
Total: 7

Comment 1:
"I love the salty metaphors in a bittersweet love poem done in very good taste." (7)

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Jumping Ship
by JaneDoeWrites
Total: 4

Comment 1:
"You take your readers on an adventure with this poem. You have the mystery with the reader wanting to know just who the person you speak of is. You create an aesthetically pleasing yet emotional setting with an ship and ocean setting. I liked all of your references of the sea and the way you were able to speak in this poem as though you were speaking directly to the person the poem is about. This made your words feel more intimate and of course it made your words very emotive. I found a lot to enjoy about this piece, I could emphasise with you and found a lot of realisation present in your honesty. I am looking forward to reading more of your poetry!" (4)

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Beauty in hell
by The Girl Who Never Was
Total: 4

Comment 1:
"Self-awareness is but the first step. The knowledge that you are a pawn in someone's hand does not set you free regardless of your hopes. The child still plays loves-me, loves-me-not. Yet, there it is:
"At least I know there will be one flower / Trying to bring beauty to Hell."
The eternal acceptance of irreversible fate and resolution to ameliorate the situation in however small a way possible. Truest humanity." (4)

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Jumping Ship
by JaneDoe Writes
Total: 4

Comment 1:
"This is a beautifully sad written piece. The metaphor being carried all the way through holds the attention of the reader the whole way.

'Soul mate, whom
I found sea worthy,
you watched me drift away;'
^ I loved this here. I like the use of sea worthy, really saying you trusted this person to travel through life with you.

'I am an aged captain,
mateless and adrift alone,
clutching onto a compass as broken
as the waves against my hull.

When all I ever was in search of
was for a place to drop my anchor'
^ This blew me away! I mean this killed the poem. Thats what most people do, mostly women, look for someone who we can give our hearts to and trust them to keep it safe forever. It sucks when it doesn't end up that way. Again, keeping the ship and sea metaphors were so awesome here.

'I have pinched letters
into emptied rum bottles,
I have kissed them with
trembling, pitiful lips,
and watched them

s
l
o
w
l
y

float

away.'
^ This was really cool. I loved loved the the heartbreaking visual this gave me. Ugh, I see tears streaming down a face, I see the quivering lips, and I see the tossed bottle to see. I enjoyed how you dropped the letters of slowly too. This is a ridiculously beautiful write." (4)

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My Poems Wept
by Satish Verma
Total: 4

Comment 1:
"Very interesting title, the wording and imagination is a spot-on.

The structure and style of expression is very unique. Although utterly sad, the poem is very beautiful in such a rare sense.

That nature-humanitarian metaphor bond reflected creativity at its best.

Well done." (4)

This is so funny to me,

So I was watching the food network channel, and this kid on there said he was the manager of a mascot for a college in Miami, the Miami Hurricanes, and said the mascot is an Ibis. That's when he told me what an Ibis was known for an I thought, wow, let me look that up, that'd be cool to ponder on and apply to my own life..... And so I wrote what I totally didn't think was front page worthy and what do you know , it is. lol

Too funny

Thaks nominators and judges that's so cool to see how inspiring this was to people.

Congrats to all those that won and received a HM! Also thank you for that lovely comment judge!

Congrats everyone, and that is funny Chelsey!

Congrats to three extremely talented ladies. Dennis, even when you're quixotic you're good!
Well done to the HMs. Thanks judges & thanks Jane for hosting.

Congrats winners and HM's - This weeks poems were just amazing :))

I know it's un-gentlemanly but...I have to add.....SEE CHELSEY CLEAR WINNER :)

...she thought it was a foolish nomination :P

Wow, I won! Thank you very much, judge. We will talk about your comment when you are my age too ;0)

Congrats to all:)

Firstly, congratulations to the three brilliant poets who wrote three brilliant poems this week. Congratulations too for Michael and Mark who would have graced the front pages with their efforst to - both strokes of brilliance in my eyes.
Many thanks for my hms and the judges' time.
All the best,
Ben

You people like the most simplistic of rants ever! lmao!

thank u judges and congrats to my fellow winners and HM's

Congratulations winners & HM's!!!

Thanks judges & Jane! :)

I would like to thank all those for their efforts, but my brain is still pooled on my keyboard...

Well, it makes words diifficulz

*shakes Parmigiano-Reggiano on his spaghetti brains*

Congrats, everybody! Great work and thank you to the judges and Jane of course.

Congratulations to the Winners and HM's and thank you for the HM/comment on my poem :)

Thanks judges and Jane.

Congrats Y'all