Weekly Contest Winners - 11/16/15

Happy Monday to all! Hope everyone can find some hope and comfort this week despite the news and violence in our world. Three very clear winners this week, two poems with heavy depth and sadness, another light piece in the form of an acrostic which is very refreshing to read! Congrats to Britt, Bob, and Ben as well as all the honorable mentions! Thank you judges as well for your timely and thorough work. Appreciate it greatly. Take care everybody ~MA :)

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WINNERS:

"Empty Nester" by: Britt 10 + 7 + 7 = 24 points

"Alphabet Acrostic" by: Bob Shank 7 + 7 + 4 = 18 points

"Dew, Sun, Dew, Despair" by: Ben Pickard 10 + 7 = 17 points

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COMMENTS:

"Empty Nester" by: Britt

"This poem written by Britt holds so much emotion within the lines.

Its vacancy comes
with a barren reminder,
a non-pregnant pause
in the midst of conversation -

~~
The way she used the non-pregnant pause already shows so much pain for any woman wanting to start a family. This would come up in a conversation with family and friends. Knowing you wanted to start a family. Each time it came up there would be that painful pause while you mustered up the courage to say you're not pregnant.
~~

erupting every kind of pain,
and yet never the pain
of protection, love, adoration.

~~

Thinking of someone never getting to feel the love a mother feels for a child the minute they place the baby in her arms. Makes my heart break. Just thinking of all the stages of motherhood that will be missed out on. Gives you a sick feeling in your gut.

~~

Instead, this room
is closed off, much like
the hardening heart
I'm trying to soften

~~

That would be a hard thing to do. Every time you saw a pregnant woman or one with a new baby
It seems like your heart would harden more. It would take someone with very strong faith to
soften a heart hurt like this. Very well written poem." (10)

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"How painful was this to read:

Its vacancy comes
with a barren reminder,
a non-pregnant pause
in the midst of conversation -
erupting every kind of pain,
and yet never the pain
of protection, love, adoration

but even so, that's what poetry is about, capturing the thoughts, the moments, the anguish, the turmoil of wanting, yet being denied.....powerfully done." (7)

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"The sorrow is overwhelming and the feelings of emptiness are beyond clear, but the thing that stands out the most to me is how deep and incredibly painful such a short piece managed to be. It's a perfected heartrending piece, and I'm grateful it was nominated - because I probably wouldn't have found it on my own." (7)

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"Alphabet Acrostic" by: Bob Shank

"Infinite wisdom unleashed in this cleverly written Acrostic. A poem with strength, lessons and trials that no matter the chosen life path there are reasons for it. Though we encounter negativity from others if you search the truth you can overcome any obstacle. Enjoyed this so much." (7)

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"Powerful write by Bob this week!

Alphabet acrostics are difficult to write, he made this look very easy and he added a rhythmic flow to it - Amazing!

I like how the first four lines rhyme and then as it continues on, its not a set rhyme scheme, but the words are rhythmic and set in such a lovely way it almost makes you think it's a rhyme scheme pattern.

He mixed powerful words with true heart and grit within the message. A top notch, inspirational Life poem." (7)

- - - - - - -

"An Acrostic is hard enough for some of us less talented writers to pull off. Yet one with the Alphabet down the side. Then containing a life message also. Awesome work Mr. Shank." (4)

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"Dew, Sun, Dew, Despair" by: Ben Pickard

"Ben has a true gift with rhyme... elegant, and yet so sorrowful. When you read aloud it flows with each line, very pretty with the nature tones and yet it grips upon the heart strings.

Mesmerizing poem by Ben.

The title flows... It's catchy and creative... Dew can me freshness, sun can mean a new day, positive light and yet Dew can also mean an onset of tears, leaving behind despair.

I chose to highlight the title, because I truly felt the creativity and even depth within the title alone, that I knew this was going to be a powerful poem... well done!!" (10)

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"We've seen so many sad poems lately from Ben. I think the readers were so used to seeing his happy, beautifully, rhyming, love poems it shocked them all when he changed on them...lol

And so when evening did descend -
When dew returned to wet my feet -
I understood I must suspend
The hopes I had to be complete.

I really liked this one. Using nature along with emotion to portray the sadness in his heart. He used the wet feet here to dash his hopes for happiness.

Early morning and the dew,
The cold, hard, crispy Autumn air,
Leave me happy thoughts too few....

In the last part of Ben's poem he refers to the early morning dew and cold Autumn temperatures for his happy thoughts slipping away. I really enjoyed this piece. Keep trying your hand at different genres and forms Ben. Make your readers wonder what you will come up with next." (7)

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HM'S:

"I: Per Lunam" by: JaneDoeWrites = 10 points
"II: Sol Solis" by: JaneDoeWrites = 10 points
"Mondays @ 9" by: Poet on the Piano = 10 points
"I remember then..." by: Trampled Angel 4 + 4 = 8 points
"As I remember you..." by: Meena Krish = 4 points
"Freedom" by: Timothy = 4 points

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COMMENTS:

"I: Per Lunam" by: JaneDoeWrites

"Janedoewrites, she most certainly does, and if this is any inkling of how Janedoewrites, then we are in for some happy times here at P and Q, this is what poetry is about, nature toned and yet exoctic at the same time. While reading it my heart jump, as if I saw some fine feline basking in a lake over yonder, the description of the wind and the moon were a great touch, we are blessed to have such a literary gem represent our pages this week, thanks fort restoring what IS POETRY....." (10)

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"II: Sol Solis" by: JaneDoeWrites

"There is so much extraordinary imagery in this piece that really does the talking for the story/point/emotion and makes this piece stand out because not only are we as readers a part of the scene we can put any spin on it we want. The images are gorgeous and still universal much like the oozing emotion behind this write. It's enticing and friendly, especially with the clear voice that transports us from our computers and phones to a setting with someone we love. Which is a great trick, beautifully done in this piece." (10)

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"Mondays @9" by: Poet on the Piano

"The writer speaks of intense details, such as "New sneakers with the tags still on" , leather chair and how pillows aren't as easily placed for the writer and how one cup of coffee was rare. These details are much needed as it brings a sense there is some OCD going on but most importantly it seems there is a struggle within. One of depression, which is a very serious subject for a lot of people. The poem explains the fight and struggle of depression. Wonderfully written poem. I enjoyed this poem because I feel we all can do much more with our life than we ever thought possible if only we believe in ourselves." (10)

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"I Remember Then" by: Trampled Angel

"As heartbreaking as this piece is, it is beautiful and relatable. The opening gives off two impressions, one the person is gone and two they have been together even longer now, it's nice not to know which it is until later because pure sorrow or evident happiness tends to push readers who are not feeling similarly away. There's such a genuine voice here guiding us through the story, but it is coupled with a unique style for this kind of piece so it's more like we're in the author's shoes while they vent off their broken heart. We're enticed, we're entangled in the piece as well, and then we learn about that "other person" and everything becomes clear. No longer do we wish to wear thee shoes, now we crave comforting the storyteller. That jump is so important to poems like this and so few writers actually manage it." (4)

~

"I actually enjoyed this, and "I remember" as many of us do those gut wrenching school romances where we thought we were so much in love and nothing else mattered, we lived and breathed for a glimpse of each other, dreamed of a future together, forever, only to have it come crashing down around us like a weak built boardwalk during hurricane season. The writer was very descriptive and told the story very well in stages, thanks for the memories." (4)

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"As I remember you..." by: Meena Krish

"Meena took the readers by emotional storm with this heavy hearten write, teary eyed from start to finish.

The heart weighs heavy when missing the ones you love. Sorrow whispers throughout, leaving endless amounts of anguish and grief. This write hits the heart and soul of the reader. Lovely and elegant, emotional write by Meena!" (4)

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"Freedom" by: Timothy

"This poem touched me and brought me to tears. Beautifully written and heartfelt loss on losing a child. The title is beautiful and fits because once death has arrived can only freedom be truly gained." (4)

Many thanks judges for the time and effort put in and for the comment. Many congratulations to Britt and Bob - both very accomplished pieces in very different ways.
Great hms all across the board this week too. I have read them all!
All the very best,
Ben

Congrats, everybody and thank you for the HM!

Holy smokes, thank you judges so much for your comments, they have me crying my eyes out at my desk. This was a very hard poem to write, and I'm a bit embarrassed it's on the front page, lol. Thank you, again, for your sweet and thoughtful comments.

Congrats to Ben & Bob (hey, all B's this week!) and all the HM's. Some great poems for the judges to select from!

Thanks MA for hosting! <3

Congratulations to all the winners and the HM's

Congrats everybody! :)

Congratulations to all the winners and the HM's

Congrats to the BBB for better poetry and to the HMs as well. Thanks judges & MA for posting.

Congrats Winners and HM's.

Thank you judges for the HM and thanks for hosting MA.

Knew I should have changed my name to Barren,

congrats winners and HMs

^ "Knew I should have changed my name to Barren,"

But then you'd have no kids.

Whoops, didn't think of that Larry...

Congrats all!