If #1

  • Melpomene
    8 years ago

    My cousin was recently reading a book titled 'If ... (Questions For The Game of Life'. Yes, another one of those quiz books that make you delve deeper into yourself. Quite annoying if you're on the receiving end of these questions when you haven't even opened your eyes, aha. After a while of basic quizzing a few questions came up that really made me think, so much so that I had her share the book with me via kindle. I'll start off with 3 questions from the first couple of pages. Feel free to use this thread to discuss if need be!
    --

    1. If you could pick a city whose character best represents your own personality, which would you choose?

    2. If you could have changed the mind of one person from history on one issue, who and what issue what you pick?

    3. If you had to shut down one charity and give all of their funding to another, which charity would you shut down, and which charity would the funding go to?

  • Bob Shank
    8 years ago

    1. Philadelphia

    parts of it are rich in the arts, it's historic, and yet dangerous and very chaotic.

    2. James Earl Ray

    He shot Martin Luther King Jr., who never got to finish what he started , equal rights for all, it definitely changed the course of history, course if King were alive today he'd crawl up in a corner and die, his dream has turned into a nightmare.

    3. Planned parenthood, sorry, I know they do some good, but I can't support an organization that advocates abortion

    I'd give the money to the "Feed the children" foundation, it pains me to my heart knowing that we have thousands of children in this world dying of starvation, one of the things most people take for granted (food) ...especially in the U.S. where we have a child obesity problem........

  • silvershoes
    8 years ago

    Funny, my first thought for #3 was "any organization that tries to control my body, like an anti-birth control or anti-abortion organization."

    Don't read further for those too fragile to read about womens' bodies and their natural processes:

    I broke down and cried yesterday because I am having endless problems with my health insurance regarding birth control pills. I can't afford them out of pocket and my health insurance won't cover the brand of pill I need and used to take, or let me have more than one pack every 30 days. The pill they've given me has caused me debilitating cramps for 7 days straight, which is abnormal and exhausting. I have to take time off of work in order to drive to a Rite Aid every 30 days to pick up another pack because they won't let me have a year supply upfront or more than 1 pack a month. They won't give a pack to me early even if I've lost a pack, so my body could be totally out of sorts and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it.
    I used to visit Planned Parenthood regularly and was treated with the utmost respect. I had regular STD testing, free condoms, free birth control pills (year supply and the brand of my choice), plan B (which helped a few of my friends throughout the years), etc.
    But they won't cover me with my new health insurance, Medi-Cal with Anthem (can't afford other health instance).

    Sometimes I hate being a woman. If men had periods and could get pregnant, any services related to either would be FREE and women would not try to control them. I'm an adult and I feel like my body is at the whim of some old, misogynistic men who make decisions about it for me without my consent. Can't begin to tell you how upsetting that is. Ugh!! What the hell century do we live in?!

    ---
    That wasn't meant to be an attack on you, Bob. Your #3 just struck a nerve.

  • Bob Shank
    8 years ago

    Didn't take it as such to be honest, I have my own personal reasons to be against abortion, but I respect people to do as they please, because like me, they have to live with the consequences of their decisions. Women's health is another issue all together or is it, If my grandmother had had an abortion she wouldn't have died after giving birth to my father her only child and I nor my sons would be here today, strange thing is, she knew the risk, but also knew she'd never conceive again, and said let the child live. Being an athlete most of my life and now being saddled with age and learning that I can no longer do the things I used to do is disheartening enough, having sic sinus syndrome, an arthritic body and deteriorating vision and hearing makes me want to just lie down and cry sometimes, but then I think, shit, at least I'm a man....there's no way in hell I'd want to be a woman, no offense, but I'd probably would go for the having a baby, but no way in hell I want to bleed once a month, or go through menopause ......My step mother had it, and it was a nightmare......hope you get that straightened out, these insurance companies are a joke, you pay it and then you still have to pay through the nose for this or that.....Anyhow I'm pro-life for life, and yet I'm voting for Hillary.....ugh......maybe I'm losing my mind too.....now answer the damn questions....lol

  • Yakari Gabriel
    8 years ago

    1. If you could pick a city whose character best represents your own personality, which would you choose?

    I'd probably be Amsterdam, its crazy and chaotic but if you give it a true chance and explore it you will discover its many treasures.

    2. If you could have changed the mind of one person from history on one issue, who and what issue what you pick?

    Hitler on his anti-jews, and anti anyone else who didn't fit his nazi ideals. That man committed one of the biggest crimes against humanity. I visited two of the concentration camps on Poland and my heart was in pieces for days unending..

    3. If you had to shut down one charity and give all of their funding to another, which charity would you shut down, and which charity would the funding go to?

    I'd shut down the charity for breastcancer, and give it to one that focuses on women as a whole.
    Sadly, breast cancer has turned into a commercial opportunity and the focus is on boobies.
    AND ITS PINK!! they literally drained the red out of our pain because when women suffer it has to be pretty...

    gtfoh

    .....
    thanks for this Mel it was great!

  • hiraeth
    8 years ago

    1. If you could pick a city whose character best represents your own personality, which would you choose?

    I'd have to say Toronto, just so much to offer, between the beauty of nature and the bustle of downtown.

    2. If you could have changed the mind of one person from history on one issue, who and what issue what you pick?

    I think scholars haven't been able to pinpoint which exact event managed to burn down the library of Alexandria, there was Cesar's ransacking, the Muslim conquest, the emperor that shut down Alexandria's temples for practicing paganism, and another event that eludes me. It'd be interesting to see how advanced we might be, if those books survived, or how the world may have turned out because there was a plethora of knowledge accessible all at one location. The opportunities are endless.

    3. If you had to shut down one charity and give all of their funding to another, which charity would you shut down, and which charity would the funding go to?

    Probably red cross or salvation army, they don't use their funds effectively, and there's a plethora of charities that would greatly benefit from that kind of funding. I can't think of any major charities right now, so probably 'mom-and-pop' style charities where they are focused locally and would have more incentive to spend that money wisely.

  • Larry Chamberlin
    8 years ago

    1. If you could pick a city whose character best represents your own personality, which would you choose?

    Ancient Athens. It was a place that explored intellectual development. It was the mythical site of the first trial by peers and the premise that the defendant was presumed innocent. It also had a great record in defending against aggression and was a moving force behind two of the first multinational cooperative movements (the Pan Hellenic League and the Ancient Olympics).

    2. If you could have changed the mind of one person from history on one issue, who and what issue what you pick?

    Adolph Hitler, regarding the falsity of his claims that the Germanic people were a "Master Race" and the subsequent scapegoating of Jews, which lead to the murder of millions.

    3. If you had to shut down one charity and give all of their funding to another, which charity would you shut down, and which charity would the funding go to?

    I would shut down the NRA Institute for Legislative Action (NRA-ILA) and give all its funding to Everytown for Gun Safety <http://everytown.org/>.

    EDIT: Just read the thread, I see you think like me on Q # 2, Yaki

  • Poet on the Piano
    8 years ago

    1. If you could pick a city whose character best represents your own personality, which would you choose?

    - I would say Fort Wayne or Indianapolis. It's probably realistic that I'm going to be staying in state when I eventually move out of my parent's house. I am on the outskirts of Fort Wayne and have lived here for about 15 years, so I am familiar with a lot of places, where to work, where to go, and have connections etc. It's still a big city to me (coming from a girl who lives in the country). I've heard Indy is a great place to live in and has an awesome job market as well. I do love Indiana, but then again, it's only been what I know really. And the taxes aren't bad compared to some states.

    2. If you could have changed the mind of one person from history on one issue, who and what issue what you pick?

    - Hitler as well, his Anti-Semitic beliefs...

    3. If you had to shut down one charity and give all of their funding to another, which charity would you shut down, and which charity would the funding go to?

    - Completely 100% Planned Parenthood. The good they may provide does not outweigh the evil. Just as the ends to not justify the means. There are have been too many undercover cases of sexual abuse, rape, sex trafficking not reported, as well as doctors not following up with the women nor caring about how they're dealing with mentally and physically traumatizing procedures such as abortions. The industry does not and will never care about women or mothers. It's a money grub IMO.

  • silvershoes
    8 years ago

    Bob, Yaki, and Larry -- I love all 3 of your responses about what cities represent you. You guys nailed it!

    "Being an athlete most of my life and now being saddled with age and learning that I can no longer do the things I used to do is disheartening enough, having sic sinus syndrome, an arthritic body and deteriorating vision and hearing makes me want to just lie down and cry sometimes, but then I think, shit, at least I'm a man....there's no way in hell I'd want to be a woman, no offense, but I'd probably would go for the having a baby, but no way in hell I want to bleed once a month, or go through menopause ......My step mother had it, and it was a nightmare......hope you get that straightened out, these insurance companies are a joke"

    ^
    Bob, I can't begin to tell you how nice it is to read a post like this from a grown man, especially one who is passionately pro-life. I am pleasantly surprised and feel grateful for your response, to say the least. Reading this part again is even more lovely the second time around. Thanks for being open with your own health issues. Thanks for being respectful and mature responding to mine. Thanks for not shaming me. Thanks for sharing your own story. Thanks mostly for being sympathetic. I realize that's a lot of "thanks," but I mean every one.

    -

    I'm being shamed on Facebook for my last post in this thread. While I regret feeling that I could be open in the presence of respectful peers, I'd like to address this "shaming" since I already made my first post:

    It saddens me that others think the topic of menstrual cycles should be kept private or secret since half of the world's population has them. It saddens me further that others think discussing Planned Parenthood is not discussing the female body. They are entirely connected and you can't bring up one without the other. When I was younger, I never would have brought up what I'm going through right now with health insurance and birth control, but as a 27 year old, self-assured woman, I've realized bleeding and birth and breast-feeding, etc., are all natural and human topics. If someone tries to shame me, SHAME ON THEM. They're not disgusting topics unless you think the female experience is disgusting. They're not inappropriate topics unless you think being a woman is inappropriate.

    I hope younger women, adolescents, and girls on PnQ read my previous post and recognize that being a woman and having womanly experiences is nothing shameful, and nothing that needs to be hidden or kept behind closed doors. Shame on all the girls, women, boys, and men who make you feel disgusting or inappropriate for simply being human -- for being a woman -- and talking about it.

    So here are my answers and we'll leave it at that:

    1. Anywhere open-minded and accepting of all good people, but somewhere far from the bustle of cities. A utopia that may not exist.

    2. Hitler seems like a smart go-to... would sure save a lot of innocent lives. Obviously I'd like to change the mind of any hateful person.

    3. I wouldn't choose to defund any charities. I think people should be free to donate their money, which they have earned, to any cause they want. I don't think it is my place to judge or control in what ways others wish to be charitable. I'm sure there are exceptions, but none that I can think of right now.

  • Melpomene
    8 years ago

    Jane, I did not get the chance to respond to your previous post while I was at work. I was going to ask how much birth control pills were over there if you don't mind me asking. I don't know much about health care in the US, however I'm really sad to hear that certain birth control pills are not affordable. Especially since they are used for a variety of medical reasons too, including severe cramping, acne and PCOS.

    I also want to add that you definitely should not regret opening up with your fellow PnQers about issues you are currently facing. In my first post I stated that this thread was not just for members to respond to questions, it was a thread to create discussion. As a long running member of this site I would like to think that members are open minded regardless of their personal beliefs. I do not believe that anyone should be feeling shamed or is shaming on facebook due to things that we share and discuss on this site.

  • silvershoes
    8 years ago

    Oh Mel, you are so kind. Pill prices vary. The ones I'm qualified for are $30/box (to buy in advance), which doesn't sound like much, but I am so broke right now even working full time. The idea of spending $360/year is daunting, especially when I used to get them for free, courtesy of Planned Parenthood. I do need the pills for medical reasons other than birth control, unfortunately.

    Anyway, thanks for your post. Sorry for hijacking your thread!

  • Bob Shank
    8 years ago

    What's astounding is the way this country has headed as to education....when I was in the 8th grade at Dover Central middle school in dover, delaware, we had a health teacher that taught us everything and I mean everything about the female and male reproductive system.....I paid attention because the words intrigued me, fallopian tube, uterus, hymen, clitoris, vas deferens, scrotum, I mean damn how can you not get excited about such words......but as I recall there was a lot of blushing, oohs and ahhs, looks of embarrassment, but to our teachers credit, she was having none of it, and made each and everyone of us aware of our bodies and respectful of them and the miracles they could and did perform on a daily basis. I ran a youth program in west philadelphia, at the end of the night I had kids volunteer to help clean up, one kid was mopping the girls bathroom and called me , screaming, on the floor was a white sweat sock covered with blood, I already knew what had occurred, anyhow we had a female forum where post graduate students came in from the U of Penn and had discussions on female hygiene , the girl who was actually using the sock as a tampon, didn't even know about tampons or pads....because real health classes have been watered down in our educational systems, and we only talk about them after the fact, yes it should be done at home as well, but some parents have other screwed up priorities....anyhow, things like this should be brought out in the open , discussed maturely and without shame, the significance would be better health, more responsibility, and most likely less abortions, or teenage pregnancies.........as a closing note, women should respect their bodies, learn them, understand that they are the most powerful thing in the universe, but more importantly they should never let a man disrespect their bodies

  • Bob Shank
    8 years ago

    My entire post got cut off...I was talking to my son's mother about this, and she said, isn't there free clinics that disperse birth control pills or agencies that help out, yes there are but not every birth control pill is the same and they differ in side effects and can cause serious damage, it has to be a fit for the individual person, it's not the same but very close for men who take viagra or cialis, they can have differing side effects and the generic ones can actually be deadly if one doesn't consult their doctor.......about ten years ago I could get an erection when the wind blew, still do, but maintaining it for a period of time was a problem because of the sic sinus syndrome, I have a younger , vibrant woman, well that should be enough to make you understand, it was hard for me to even think about taking medication, it's an ego thing I guess, but I have two sons now, and a happy woman I think....lol, but my insurance doesn't cover it either and I scrape to afford it. luckily I have a low tolerance to any medication so I can cut them in half and save dramatically on the cost, because it's expensive.....anyhow, I'm not ashamed of that, used to be, but I got over it quickly when I realized the end result......anyhow, I hope you can find a solution, maybe some type of public resources to help you out, as a working woman you shouldn't be forced into taking risks because you can't afford it, it's like the elderly having to choose whether to eat of buy medicine to keep them alive, the medical and pharmaceutical business has gotten crazy, but no where near how corrupt the insurance industry is.

  • Larry Chamberlin
    8 years ago

    Jane,
    I think you are one of the most genuine people I know and cannot imagine why anyone should feel they have the right to shame you for discussing needful subjects. While I disagree with other posts about the Planned Parenthood being evil, I can understand their position as being pro-life. On the other hand I cannot condone anyone trying to shame them for their position either.
    You are absolutely right that all the cycles and processes and gifts that a woman has are viable subjects for open discussion. I still get rankled when the regular uproar occurs about breast feeding in public. (However, I did find the couple who changed a pooped diaper on a restaurant table to be over the top.) Back to the subject, your reaction to the shaming is admirable: putting it all on the table, no recriminations, just open discussion.

    Bob, I feel your pain. $200 a month in Texas, not covered by insurance. Ouch. Seriously, thank you for your candor and defense of the right to speak freely. I agree with you about the inherent challenges of women and I am in total awe of their ability to cope with it all.

  • Darren
    8 years ago

    This makes me appreciate the British NHS more than ever.

    Both of my daughters were born early (31 weeks and 29 weeks) Both kept in hospital with 24hr care for 6 weeks and cost me ZILCH.

    (Apart from my monthly tax contribution which is a dam sight lower than what this care would have cost)

    Jane, this brings me to my second point, My wife has suffered for years with her cycle, most months she was on her period 3 weeks out of 4 and some days it was so bad she was bed ridden. I don't agree that this shouldn't be discussed, this is real life. Luckily thanks again to our NHS we were able to try several avenues. She is a lot better now since having a laser procedure that burnt away some of the lining of her womb. The only thing they have denied her was a hysterectomy as they believe she is too young.
    Having severe pain every month is not nice and effects your emotional state as well as physical.
    Being able to speak about it helps.

    now for the questions

    1, The city would have to be Norwich, because I am basically a bumpkin. Nothing glamorous, I should be chewing corn and saying 'alright boy?'

    2 Hitler, nobody or nothing else comes close.

    3 Any charity that hounds people, this £2 per month lark that people sign up for turns into nightly phone calls asking people to increase their donations. I would take this money and give it to Neonatal units.

  • PnQ Mod Account
    8 years ago

    "While I disagree with other posts about the Planned Parenthood being evil, I can understand their position as being pro-life. On the other hand I cannot condone anyone trying to shame them for their position either."

    Well said.

    Bob and Larry, I applaud both of you for being so open. My dad is going through much of the same. He'll be turning 68 this year. My mom is turning 60 and has been going through menopause for years now. It makes her emotions haywire. She has anxieties, insomnia, and I've noticed a decline in her memory that makes me depressed for her. I wish viagra and estrogen were covered by insurance companies. They make such an enormous and obvious difference in the happiness of older generations. It's really tough having your body go through the changes (speaking as an observer, though I did recently find my first gray hair) and maybe not working quite as it used to work. Still, it's far better than the alternative, like my dad always says. And, senior discounts -- not bad, right? It's inspiring to see my parents and you guys handle it all with such grace.

    -

    "Having severe pain every month is not nice and effects your emotional state as well as physical.
    Being able to speak about it helps."

    Absolutely. Your wife is lucky to have you there for support, and I am very lucky to have my boyfriend. For 13 years of periods, my cramps were only manageable when I was on a certain birth control pill that I'm now unable to get. I have a high pain threshold, as in I don't feel pain quite as severely as some people... so you can imagine how bad my cramps are when I say sometimes the pain makes me vomit. I'm useless for 3-5 days of every month. I can't imagine 3 weeks out of every 4! Your poor, poor wife.

    -

    Lots of love to you all! What lovely men on this site.

    -Jane

  • Larry Chamberlin
    8 years ago

    ^ "though I did recently find my first gray hair"

    You have just lost all sympathy !

    JK

    I was so salt & pepper even in high school that I was never carded after 17.

    I'd like to hear from other nationals about their countries' health care systems (Mel, you did say the thread was for discussion, I hope I'm not hijacking it).

    The WHO ranks the following as the top five in the world:
    1 France
    2 Italy
    3 San Marino
    4 Andorra
    5 Malta

    The UK ranks 18th, Ireland ranks 19th, Canada ranks 30th, Australia ranks 32nd, and the USA ranks 37th.

  • silvershoes
    8 years ago

    The USA ranks 37th.

    ^ I knew it was bad, but WOW. That's embarrassing.

    "I was so salt & pepper even in high school that I was never carded after 17."

    ^ Hey, that seems like a fair trade. Guys look fine with salt & pepper, even young guys. My boyfriend is so blond that it's hard to see the white hairs, but they're there. Now the question is, do I tell him? Haha.
    For some reason, it seems less acceptable for a young woman to have gray hair. Maybe I'm imagining that. Either way, since my first one, I've found several more. Might be stress-related. My older sister says she got gray hairs after a bad break up 5 years ago, and it's returned to her natural hair color since then! Here's hoping.

  • abracadabra
    8 years ago

    Jane, I will bash up anyone who upsets you. With a pen. Also, get pregnant and start breastfeeding. I haven't had my period for 9 months and it is heaven.

    1. A city I will always dream of visiting but will never experience. I don't know what that city is. I thrive in anticipation.

    2. Lots of villains out there. Hmm. I'd tell myself to study a double arts/science degree instead of pure science.

    3. I'd take a fair chunk out of any religion or other organisation that mass indocrinates and forces its members to cough up regular cash. Some religious institutes do wonderful, genuine charitable work where no one else won't, but there's no doubt of the overall level of corruption and greed involved. I'd direct that money toward research and education in sustainable living. There's no point in helping anything unless there's a livable environment for us and other creatures in the future. It all begins and ends in our home, for our earth.

  • Larry Chamberlin
    8 years ago

    Pull a grey hair & 10 more come to its funeral.

  • silvershoes
    8 years ago

    Abby, my brave guardian! You are the most precious, lovable mama bear.

    Larry, I suspect you're right.

  • Britt
    8 years ago

    1. If you could pick a city whose character best represents your own personality, which would you choose?

    This one is so hard, because it's so limited to the places I've been, but I'd have to say my small home town.. and without being here you guys couldn't understand, but it's your every day small town. Churches have a lot of room here, and a lot of influence, which obviously my faith is a very large part of who I am. It's modern yet old, which I've been told I have an old soul often. It's old school, which, hello. My town has it's flaws but that doesn't define it, which sums me up to a T I'd say.

    2. If you could have changed the mind of one person from history on one issue, who and what issue what you pick?

    Eve. Stay away from that darn tree.

    3. If you had to shut down one charity and give all of their funding to another, which charity would you shut down, and which charity would the funding go to?

    This is a hard one for me because a lot of charities have their evil yet their good side as well. I'm going to go with the Red Cross, because so much of their donations goes to salaries and not enough to the cause. I'd like to see more money filtered into places that go in and do hands on things. I don't know of a specific charity in mind that truly does that, though. Abby, it's funny you say what you said in #3 about churches/money etc, because my church, where I do regularly tithe (not because my Pastor tells me to, he doesn't raise the issue often), is in a lot of different parts of our community and has a great relationship with two schools down in Guatemala. We are involved with the kids, the elderly, the homeless, the poor - in different ministries, and the beautiful thing is no one feels preached at. We have programs in our church that you wouldn't even know is a ministry of our church - my job, for instance, is run by my church, but we are a community center with no religious activity. We have a program called Backpack Buddies, where we feed over 200 kids each weekend with sack lunches of nonperishables to take home. No insert or flyer, no acknowledgment of where it even comes from - just feeding hungry kids over the weekends. We have a weekly meal for anyone who is hungry, with no charge, and it's held at a site away from our church. We go down to Guatemala (I've been twice) and I see the impact that we are making in those kids' lives through our sponsorship program. Not only are we bringing items that are life sustaining and teaching them how to build, how to create, how to use technology, but we are showing them that just because America is incredibly wealthy to their standards, we are broken and we have pain, and we are humans, too. They believe the rest of the world lives like Hollywood does, and that their country alone is just the pits of hell. We talk to them about Jesus (It's a Christian school), but the most important thing I've witnessed is our sponsor kid tell my husband that he sees him as a Dad figure, because his Dad left when he was a baby, and thanked him for loving him like a Dad should. We've met this kid twice. We send letters and gifts and pictures often, but this is a bond unlike any other. Not being a parent I can't say it's that type of bond, but I'd assume it's close (ish).

    Abbafabulous, your comment just helped me truly appreciate the good I am a part of. My church isn't perfect, and it has some flaws (as all people do), but we truly do try to make a positive impact on people around us. You just helped me have great confirmation in the money I do spend/send where I do. I wasn't questioning it before, but it's just nice to be able to reflect and feel even more confident. <3

  • Melpomene
    8 years ago

    I'd like to hear from other nationals about their countries' health care systems (Mel, you did say the thread was for discussion, I hope I'm not hijacking it).

    ^Nope definitely not hijacking it. I don't mind where these threads evolve to so long as conversation is involved. Curious to see what Australia was ranked, Larry?

    Jane, $30 is still a lot of money on top of everything else we have to pay. I totally get the struggle. My health fund costs me $110 a month and I often don't feel as though I can afford that amongst everything else. Even then the medication I take for my skin isn't covered because it's apparently 'cosmetic'. I really get where you're coming from.

  • Larry Chamberlin
    8 years ago

    There are too many medications for which the systems in place in more than one country don't appreciate the need.

    ^^ "No insert or flyer, no acknowledgment of where it even comes from - just feeding hungry kids over the weekends. We have a weekly meal for anyone who is hungry, with no charge, and it's held at a site away from our church. We go down to Guatemala (I've been twice) and I see the impact that we are making in those kids' lives through our sponsorship program"\

    Nice. and I've seen your pix, you have every right to feel parental for him. It's obvious he adores you.

  • Britt
    8 years ago

    Ohhhh I love that sweet boy so much. He is rambunctious.