Weekly Contest Results 07/03/2016

Hello everyone, here are the results. Congratulations to
our front page holders Senryu, Silvershoes and Saerelune.
Congratulations to the HM's this week - so many variety
of poems have been picked which have captured our
judges hearts and thank you judges for all your work.

WINNERS:

Amor Vincit Nihil by Senryu

Kata by Silvershoes

Wake up call by Saerelune

Amor Vincit Nihil by Senyru

"The thing I appreciated most about this poem was its
emotional vulnerability that seems to be backed up by a poetic spine of carefully chosen metaphors. The poem goes through many phases. Right in the beginning it tugs at the heart strings due to the honest confession of wanting to open op, whether it would be regarded as rambling or true poetry. Don't we all, as poets, struggle with this thin line between venting and making true art?

The poem quickly ventures into the greatness of nature, which is tricky as it can easily turn cliche or over-the-top. But Senyru pulled it off nicely, pulling the reader into a romantic vibe, yet neutralising it with a hint of reality. Something we as readers can relate to: staying up late to catch a glimpse of something.

But my favorite part was when the poet manages to pull in coding without it sounding too geeky and out-of-place. The mention of a stack overflow was subtle enough for me to not wake up from the romantic vibe from the previous stanzas. I feel like, in the beginning, the persona seemed to have communication problems in the relationship (stuck in between what his love might consider ramblings, yet he consider poetry). The inclusion of code-talk and syntax enforced this struggle to me. Kudos to Senyru for juxtaposing so many different images from different areas. Because right after the coding, the poem subtly goes through art and love again.

Overall, I think the poem portrayed an inner struggle very well. The images are jumbled yet create an unique entity together. Well done." (10 points)
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Kata by Silvershoes

These words are very well written and crafted together to make a deep, telling poem. Every word feels intentional. It gives a very clear image of who your father is, how he has affected you, and how it continues to affect you and your family. It's clever how you tied martial arts into it, even the title. When I first clicked on it, I was under the impression that it may be a peaceful poem, but maybe it is in the sense of healing on your part.

"Katas are about technique,
but yours, while perfect, are centered on dominion.
As half of you, I know this."

^For sure my favourite lines, it so full of... feelings, depth, understanding. Nicely written. (10 points)

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Kata by Silvershoes

Many hidden metaphors within, but those who have been there read it loud and clear, I like how you "struggled" putting this together, the emotion was quite evident in your words......excellent piece to the right audience. (10 points)
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Wake up call by Saerelune

Wow. This is deep, provoking, and just overall powerful. I'm sorry to say that I don't have better words for this, but it left me a bit speechless. I do have a technical note though; I believe that arithmetic shouldn't have an 's' at the end and it would still convey the same idea/feeling but be a stronger
word. Overall, this is an amazing poem. (7 points)
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Wake up Call by Saerelune

The layout grabbed my attention first of all. I like to see something a little different from time to time. (see what I
did there) Poetry has no real boundaries, we can follow a
stringent form and encase ourselves in its rules, or like Saerelune we can try something different. I like the randomness of the times, it is edgy and suggests sleeplessness. I love the overall message, the way the
time jumps so quickly with the pace of the poem reflects how quickly our years move on. We should stop looking back, we shouldn't ever be looking for happiness in arithmetic. (10 points).
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HM's:

Wolf Moon (Cinquain) by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather

Sunshine, Roses and Lowly Hearts by Ben Pickard

Scratchy Chords by Ben Pickard

A falling out with mother by Ben Pickard

Goodbye by Ben Pickard

Journal poem under a Skylight by Narph

Full full moon by Everlasting

Six little rocks by Maple Tree

Scattered Leaves by Maple Tree

Dystopia (senryu) by Meme

Wolf Moon (Cinquain) by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather

There is a ton of elegance, mystery and pure beauty within this Cinquain that I had to highlight this piece.

The pure beauty of this form is simple and yet dazzling.

Larry brings this form to life..

Night walker and menace mixed with full moon, brings this poem to life, its magical. A true lover of the moon can understand and this piece can be spiritual for some, however it can also angle towards the old age statement of... when madness happens people blame it on a full moon.

I really was captivated with this poem.. a true delight this week! (10 points)
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Scratchy Chords by Ben Pickard

"Many poems by Ben Pickard were nominated this week,
and whilst the others flowed perfectly and had such
melody in their rhymes, I fell for this piece of free
verse because the techniques were still there
(albeit subtly), but the extra bonus of this poem was its uniqueness.

The flow in this poem was not easily derived from
some rhyme scheme, but subtle rhyme and alliteration.
Take note of the y-rhymings and the gentle g's in the
first two stanzas. Or how about this "frenzied freedom
song" or "broken, blood-red strings"? They're not
rhymes but still sound melodious. I like how Ben laid out
the word "weep" thrice after that, because it fits the
cadence of the poem.

This kind of structure has been experimented with many
a times, and I think it fits Ben's poem perfectly. The
whole poem has a fantasy feeling to it; dark but more
like a gentle darkness. The ending really emphasizes
the mix of dark and light I experience from reading
this poem. Mischief being light, the setting free being
more serious a.k.a. dark.

Overall, I truly enjoyed the ambiance of this poem and
how you still managed to be creative with old school
poetry techniques." (7 points)
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A falling out with mother by Ben Pickard

Possibly a 10 with a little work, if you sit and read aloud it
is a little choppy in places. There seems to be an extra
word here and there that could easily be omitted from
this piece. The rhyming is good, I like a rhyme that
works, but when you add a rhyme you add a rhythm.
I initially thought a syllable count would help the rhythm
of this piece, I then counted that there IS a syllable count. But it doesn't read like there is.

I then relegated it from 7 points to 4 because of a
spelling mistake. 'Worshipped' someone has taken the
P. I will say that I loved the final stanza. In fact if the
poem was just the final stanza then I would have scored it the same. (4 points).
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Goodbye by Ben Pickard

She's in good company today with the passing of
Nancy Reagan as well......Cindy was definitely a
mainstay here at P and Q and will be missed, I take
solace that she no longer has to suffer any more and
finally she is at peace, that very thing she craved in
her writings, very nice sentiment...(4 points)
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Sunshine, Roses And Lowly Hearts by Ben Pickard

Ben does it again, his Rhyme and Rhythm brings the
reader to tears once again in full blown writing of
elegance. This poem is flavored with sadness and yet
the flow looks flawless, reads with such a flow... I
can't explain the feelings I felt while reading this piece..
just beautiful! (7 points)
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Full full moon by Everlasting

I adore Lucero's eye for play with words, she is so
talented and creative and this poem reads with a new
flavor of rhyme.. and bringing nature to a new light with
her creative style. So elegant!! (4 points)
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Journal poem under a Skylight by Narph

"Honesty can often kill or make a poem. We do not want
to read something that's so sculpted till the extent of
losing feeling, yet there are so many journal entries
throughout the site it's hard to keep focus if it's not
unique. However, I think Narph struck a nice
balance between honesty and uniqueness with this
poem.

The opening pulled the reader straight in with their sense
of melancholy. This quickly turned more personal and
bittersweet as Narph throws in an inside-joke-kinda quote.
I love the switch in perspective, like the reader's inside
of the persona's head and watching a movie of
memories. The overal mood seems very nostalgic and this
is confirmed when details about the house resurface.

Vulnerable moments of crying alone really pull the
reader closer. The poem reads very easily, probably
as intended: a journal entry. Yet the crisp details keep
the reader interested, almost on the verge of prose-
poetry.

The ending lines, without doubt, are very strong and
pull back the emotional, less prosy aspect of the
poem. These are the kind of lines that make a
poem memorable. Well done."(4 points)
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Six little rocks by Maple Tree

Those ignorant moments become poems
and I don't feel like wasting my ink
on things that people will never understand

^many times we write to share, to heal and to
relate....sometimes we question our efforts and yet
the solace of poetry oft times is all we have.......
great expression in this, I wonder if the six rocks are
a symbol of harrowing life experiences......nicely done
(7 points)
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Scattered Leaves by Maple Tree

This is beautifully penned. I love the overall vivid
imagery you portray and the moment you capture within
it. It's gentle and a hint of sadness lingers. There are
two minor typos (I believe), that "mongest" and
"Memiors" are scrambled spellings of the words
"Amongst" and "Memoirs". But aside from those notes, this
is a wonderfully written poem. (4 points)
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Dystopia (senryu) by Meme 7 points

We spend all of our lives seeking utopia, not realizing
that we live in dystopia when we do not achieve our
target. How eyes can taste and work is beyond me but
it does in this piece. I have heard mentioned on here that
a senryu or haiku is a wasted vote, they are too small
to grace the front page. That is rubbish. The best
small poems tell more of a story than some of the
biggest pieces of schlock that appear from time to time.
If the last line echoes in your mind it is a great poem.
This does just that and is worthy of (7 points).

Congratulations to the three winning poems and the HM's. The comments this week are excellent and informative, not only highlighting what went well, but how to improve where necessary. Well done all.

Congrats to the winners and other HMs
Thanks judges & Min for posting.

Thanks for the magnificent comment from the one judge.

See, Luce, regarding tie-breakers, you're right - I don't have enough hair on my head. ;8-)

Mr. Larry, lol

Congratulations to the winners. thank you for the HM.

Many thanks for the comments on my poems. I would like to be honest though and say that relegating my poem from a 7 to 4 because of a spelling mistake strikes me as odd; the amount of poems I have read on the winners board that have spelling/grammatical errors could be made an essay of. The other criticism is fair and I take it on board and agree - the flow isn't perfect. Though every line has 8 syllables, so it can't be without rhythm entirely - perhaps it is the way it is being read? I don't know, it's difficult sometimes. But I have to say, saying the score would have been the same if it was just the last verse strikes me as more the kind of comment you would write for.......a dishonourable mention? It's almost an insult. It rubbishes the rest of the poem which seems odd as you have decided to highlight it. Just to clarify, it isn't the criticism - I fully take that on and appreciate the honesty, but dropping it down for a missed letter seems like you were looking for a reason. The comment as a whole baffles me a bit. Just trying to be honest.
Anyway, thanks to the judges for their time and congratulations to the three wonderful winners,
Ben

Thank you so much for the amazing comment and congrats to all those on the front-page with me, and those who picked up a HM. Thank you judges!

Ben, here's a follow up comment from the judge:

"There have been times when poems have won the weekly with a spelling mistake and members have been up in arms. I was undecided between two poems for 7 points. The spelling mistake made the difference. My point with the final stanza was taken the wrong way. I felt it was so well written that if it was a stand alone poem I would have voted for it. Sometimes there are two ways to take things, we too often take the wrong way."

Congrats winners

a wide range of poems picked.

Congrats to all and thanks Meena for posting, and to the judges!

Thank you to the judges who felt my poem was worthy. Thanks, Meena, for posting the results this week.

Thank you for the HM! Did not expect it at all. <3 <3 <3