Weekly Contest Winners - 3/14/16!!

Happy Monday, everyone! What an awesome week for poetry and I thank all the judges for their hard work as many were caught deciding between many, many poems. Congrats to Noura & Yaki for both of their honest pieces, and of course congrats to Novalyn for her huge comeback with "Red Giant" (and other honorable mentions). Congrats to all and hope you all have a wonderful week! :)

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WINNERS:

"Truce" by: nourayasmine 10 + 7 + 7 = 24 points

"RED GIANT (we)" by: mnemosyne 10 + 4 = 14 points

"Bastard child" by: Yakari Gabriel 7 + 4 = 11 points

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COMMENTS:

"Truce" by: nourayasmine

"Noura takes you to a place where your soul cries....
When destruction and war is all around you, the emotions can kill a heart, within this piece Noura pleads for her love to unite in love and yet to save their homeland... just a heartbreaking poem and written in true form by Noura.. Powerful poem by this lovely lady!" (10)

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"Wow, so many profound words describing man's lust for war, telling our history throughout time and yet even more prevalent now........When will it end, when will we understand what we are really doing to each other, when will we see that the very freedoms we allegedly fight for we are destroying by condoning violence towards our fellow man......a great write." (7)

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"It didn't take long to realize that this poem would be filled with emotion as I read the first two lines, although I think it might have been more powerful to do without the enjambment and merge those two lines, just to start off the poem with a bigger punch. But that's just a tiny technical note, also regarding the flow. What I liked about this poem is that it wasn't just a simple jumble of fancy imagery, because the imagery was actually put together very well with the use of repetition, making the poem well-rounded. The echoes of a "home" are evident within almost each stanza, and so is the reminder of weapons. I love the contrast between the two personas, how they are probably a couple but both have a different vision of "all they have". The mention of the khaki suit also tied so well with the previous stanza about the news. There are subtle reminders everywhere that connect the imagery, and the emotions that are evoked only strengthen them. This poem portrayed such an important issue yet manages to make it intimate and personal, pulling the reader in with emotions. Nice work." (7)

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"RED GIANT (we)" by: Mnemosyne

"Now this is a poem, That final stanza is mind blowing to me. Take the word 'we' and repeat it 4 times throw in 'were' 3 times in a stanza of only 11 words and make it work. Not only does it work it leaves a lasting impression. Every stanza has me thinking, each beautifully crafted. It makes me think that the poem had twice as many words originally and the poet took her chisel and hammered the unnecessary ones away. I love the layout and the whole thought inducing tone of this piece. Very well written." (10)

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"we splayed the truth
in poppy fields
fertilizing vowels
with systemic secrets
in soiled beds

I don't even get high and I understood this, well it helps that I never was in my right mind to begin with, but what a profound metaphor, as was the entire poem throughout......It's amazing what "we" are capable of........awesome job." (4)

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"Bastard child" by: Yakari Gabriel

"This was a 10 for me originally, but I have this thing where I do not like lines broken, I know it is an accepted style of poetry but it is just not for me. What I don't mind is a mixture of prose and poetry and this piece has both. This is a very modern piece of writing. This type of writing is what drags poetry into this century. (The facebook and whatsapp references help). You cannot ignore the emotion in this, it must have taken a lot of courage to put this out there." (7)

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"Whoa, this is raw. The depth and feelings within this poem is overwhelming in a sense. It's very powerful and relate-able.
I have no other words for you as this has left me semi-speechless and with too many feelings." (4)

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HM'S:

"Robert" by: Larry Chamberlin = 10 points

"MEMORY/FICTION" by: mnemosyne = 10 points

"Blinded by the Sun" by: Maple Tree = 10 points

"Elephant Tusk" by: Kireasha L = 7 points

"Wanton (Pleiades)" by: Hellon = 7 points

"The Dreaded" by: silvershoes = 4 points

"WHEN THE MIND HALTS" by: mnemosyne = 4 points

"Words from the Bottom of a shot glass (Triolet)" by: Maple Tree = 4 points

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COMMENTS:

"Robert" by: Larry Chamberlin

"One of the deepest poems I've ever read from this Author, captivating to the very end, it's funny how we hold on to people, places, and things that most would feel insignificant and yet deep down they've never lost their appeal.....Terrific piece." (10)

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"MEMORY/FICTION" by: mnemosyne
"This poem is the epitome of succinct minimalism. I love how "zoomed-in" the imagery is, bringing the reader so close to what the writer herself sees. The simplicity with which the action of splitting an orange is described, along with the ending, almost makes the citrus scent come off the page/screen. It's a short but effective description of a particular sensation which is displayed to us in great detail and suspension. The focus is laid so well on this tangerine that one almost forgets that this is a whole metaphor. I guess this explains the title, I love the subtle comparison. This poem is just incredibly to the point but still manages to give this euphoric/cloudy vibe that is both associated to fantasy and old memories. Well done. " (10)

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"Blinded by the Sun" by: Maple Tree

"The very first word drew me into this poem, it's a strong introduction to a very pleasant feeling read. It starts out feeling warm with hints of detail that bring a vivid image to mind. It shows thoughts, and feelings in relation to the moment but also who you are as a person and how nature is your solace. Nicely written." (10)

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"Elephant Tusk" by: Kireasha L
"I feel like I can't fully grasp the depth of this poem. After reading it over and over, it feels as if there is a deeper metaphor within it that I am missing and it will probably take time for it all to sink in.
I appreciate how the first stanza creates an image that you continue to run with. There is an underline tone of sadness and also of understanding. It feels... oddly spiritual? I don't know if that makes any sense to you. But It's what I am getting from it.
It's very well written." (7)

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"Wanton (Pleiades)" by: Hellon

"Hellon nails this form, just a splendid poem by Hellon this week!
I have true adoration for this poem, it takes you to a place of possible rice fields, working your fingers to the bone, for pennies I'm sure, just to make wantons.. I may be way off but I do see this visually in my head.... Hellon's poetry makes you think and that is what adds such beauty to this poem! well done!!" (7)

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"The Dreaded" by: silvershoes

"Jane's place on words with the Big C's and seas at the end just made me bawl... 2 things that kill a heart: Cancer and the death of an animal.... this poem hits all readers alike! Just wonderful!!" (4)
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"WHEN THE MIND HALTS" by: mnemosyne

"This poem seems like a more abstract one, with phrases such as "travel backwards on the wings of a songless bird", "hope of resurgence", "an ember of memory" or "a whispered curse". I think these are the less effective part of the poem as they seem a bit too vague, though they do manage to set the right dreamy mood. Good thing is that concrete images are pulled in to balance the abstractness again, which resulted in a nice mix of "showing and telling" in poetry. It's a snap-back to reality kinda feel which I think was effectively composed. I like the intense focus on the glass, on a table, in a room, which truly brings forth the whole idea of the poem: when the mind halts. Last but not least, I loved the clever choice of verbs in the last stanza, "parched" being well-suited to be reminded of the origami crane in the beginning again. Well-crafted piece of work!" (4)

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"Words from the Bottom of a shot glass (Triolet)" by Maple Tree

"I think I am going to fall into a habit of criticising my 4 point choice, but I have read 23 poems tonight and this made it into my top 3. This is a poetry site and I love to see formed poetry, especially a form I haven't seen before. I don't write much formed poetry myself but I enjoy reading it. I will try this one myself (I will wait till my judging term finishes). I chose this over many others this week because I love the lines 'silence, a writers addiction' and 'sobering words escape my pen'. I think we can all relate to both which makes this whole piece very credible.
I nearly didn't choose this because of what's coming up in my comment, but I love the power coming out of this small poem with repeated lines to boot.
Now for the bad part....
'zen' should be 'Zen' which is a very minor point, but the biggy for me is line 4, It works to keep the form true but to me it doesn't help the poem. In fact take it out and you will see what I mean;

Sobering words escape my pen
silence, a writers addiction
nature births a spirited zen
eyes they see, destruction of men
drinking lies, brings on affliction
sobering words escape my pen
silence, a writers addiction

I think it reads better without it, but without it the form fails.
This is my own humble opinion,
It may seem odd that I have chosen this ahead of 20 other poems I know." (4)

Thank you judges for your hard work this week!! Thanks MA for hosting, also!

Congrats to the winners & HM's... some amazing pieces of poetry highlighted this week!

Yes, thanks to all the judges for their work and to MA for hosting.

Congrats to the winners, ladies all, and to the HMs.

Thanks for insightful comment, judge, and you are right on target about my underlying purpose/experience in writing it.

Congrats to the winners and those who picked up a HM, and thank you judges for all the hard work you do, and thank you MA for hosting. It was definitely a challenging week, so many amazing pieces were nominated. Keep it up P&Q!

Congrats winners and HM!

Congrats Winners and HM's!

Thank you judges for all your work and valuable time and thank you MA for hosting :)

Congratulations ladies!!!!! And to all the HMS!

Thank you so much judges for your comments on my poems....thank you judge for your critique.... Some helpful points you made.

Congratulations to everyone, for winning, for their HM's and for the task that is judging and hosting.

Congrats to the winners & HM's...

Well done to the winners this week. May I say a particular congratulations for "Truce" - that piece is pure, emotive poetry at its very finest. One of the best pieces I have read on this site.

All the very best everyone and a genuine thanks to all the judges for what is, I know, a very hard job that I didn't make any easier with my misplaced comment last week. A genuine apology for that.
Ben

Congratulations, everyone!
Thank you, guys, for commenting on my poem. I really wasn't expecting this poem to grab any attention. Love you all so so much.

Edit: and, Ben, that's so nice of you. :D

Congrats, everyone! What a solid slew of beautiful poetry. I'm honored to be alongside you all :)

Thank you so much to those who nominated my work, and to the judges for really, really wonderful comments/feedback. You guys are awesome! It's quite a warm welcome back! <3

Congrats all

Us boys need to pull our socks up