Weekly Contest Results 18 April 2016

Hello Everyone! Judges I firstly want to thank you all for
your time and patience which you put in without fail each
week. Next congratulations to all our Winners and HM's!

Winners:

On mourning by Narph 10+7+4=21 points

The Cockatrice and the Pharaohs barge by Larry Chamberlain 7+10+10=27 points

Still by Everlasting 4+10=14 points

Two Tie Break Poems:

Something More by Ben Pickard 7+7=14 points

Still by Everlasting 4+10=14 points

Honorable Mentions:

Anxiety by Rob 4 points

Anything to declare Senryu by Mr Darcy. 4 points

Tomb Of Bluebells by Ben Pickard 10 points

My final goodbye by Dagmar Wilson 7 points

Demons by Em 4 points

Comments for Winners:

On mourning by Narph

I didn't read the comments until I had decided to award 10 for this piece. It was missed last week, however I didn't judge last week due to illness. I agree with Hellon. This is worthy of the front page.
What goes in its favor is the lack of nominated poems this week so it stands a good chance of being picked by another judge as well as myself. Some of the more experienced poets on this site should be using their nominations more. (I am also guilty of this) It is difficult to judge when a vast majority of the poems are very similar. I can't really go into more detail.
This poem stood out to me.
Why a 10?
I love a poem that you can read and imagine yourself being in that scenario. I love the simplicity of using dough, I love the real sense of loss towards the end. It left a lasting impression with me as all good poems should. (10 points)
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On mourning by Narph

To take play dough and have such deep thoughts is a challenge in of itself, but to make those very thoughts as profound as this author has done is remarkable, the lines in the palms was a great touch, especially all that has been written about what those lines truly say about a person.......great job. (7 points)
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On Mourning by Narph

"Play-dough is certainly an unique object to be associated with loss, and gives a strong personal character to this poem. My favorite line must be one of the simplest: "It's always the little moments. I suspect is always will be.", for that thought represents a very significant moment of reflection to me which kick-starts the emotional roller-coaster that follows afterwards. At times I thought the writing-style a bit too wordy to digest, I think some phrases could've been shorter, but the emotional gestures and thoughts that are weaved throughout the poem certainly pulled me through. All the things that happen with clay: the shaping, the imprints, it's all so cleverly used in this poem." (4 points)
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Still by Everlasting

"This poem might seem simplistic and too short to be given full points, but I believe that its minimalism is exactly what makes this poem outstanding. The usage of the word "still" with its double meaning was well executed. It's enough to draw the reader into the flow of this poem, which is soft and soothing. I love how this poem blossoms into such a straight-forward statement, simply triggered by seeing the moon above the sky. This poem is a perfect example of using ordinary phrases but turning it nice with tone, flow and repetition." (10 points)
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Still by Everlasting

Everlasting grabbed my heart this week and ran with it!
Sometimes, the best poetry ever is just a few lines, the message within this poem is so powerful it needed to be small and elegant. Still and tranquil are words that will make any reader swoon... So pretty! (4 points)
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The Cockatrice and the Pharaohs barge by Larry Chamberlain

Another poem that stood out for me. Such kiplingesque narrative, such detail and tongue twisting fab scene setting. Just one of those poems that I wish I had written. I also salute the use of punctuation. Too many of us don't use it because we don't know how. A well placed comma trumps
and poorly used adjective. (7 points)
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The Cockatrice and the Pharaoh's Barge by Larry Chamberlain

A history's buff dream, it's content lost on those who never paid attention in class, slavery depicted at its ugliest....Terrific write(10 points)
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The Cockatrice and the Pharaoh's Barge by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather

The title alone deserves 10 points :-)
This poem is just incredible by Larry this week. I was so blown away when he posted this.

Its rhythmic in it's graceful format and style and it held me captivated from start to finish.

It's not very often that you read a poem within the Egyptian times, mixed with a mythical creature, with two heads... That is why I said the title stands in high regards!

It doesn't matter to me if this was meant to be a metaphoric piece or as is... the message is brilliant and I am in complete awe! (10 points)

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Something More by Ben Pickard

This is Something More than a Nature poem... this is
pure Beauty at its finest!
Elegant and graceful nature poem by Ben this week! I adore his word usage, so detailed and fancy! This poem is fancy! Nothing more to add! (7 points)
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Something More by Ben Pickard

"A nature poem with the best of both worlds: social depth and crisp descriptions. At first I thought certain phrases were a bit over-the-top, such as the third stanza with all the butterflies, making nature sound like some sort of exaggerated utopia. I was very pleased with the following line "But these are only foolish fancies", indicating that the writer is aware of this unrealistic utopia, and downplaying the exaggeration. I think you managed to achieve the same thing in the opening stanza; the contrasts you use throughout this poem add an extra dimension to it. I also appreciate how you became more down-to-earth (pun unintended, lol), near the end of the poem; leaving all the fancy adjectives aside and simply stating your emotions."
(7 points)
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Comments for HM's:

Anything to declare Senryu by Mr Darcy

I do like a good Senryu. They can say more than any larger poem if written correctly.
More importantly I picked this poem because it is current. It shows that poetry can be current, can have a voice beyond Shakespeare and Longfellow. Poetry is sometimes seen as something from the dark ages or something that love sick teenagers write to each other......
I applaud Mr Darcy for writing about this topic and using a Senryu to boot. (4 points)
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Anxiety by Rob

The author kept it simple and captured the emotional and mental anguish that one endures from anxiety, at some point in our lives we will all be able to relate to this, I know I do daily....good job. (4 points)
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Tomb of Bluebells by Ben Pickard

Technical: the grammar, lack of capitalization, and separation of the lines... makes this so wonderful to read, over and over again. It's so pretty and is set up in a way that makes you feel like it's flowing like rain off of your lips when being read out loud (silly comparison, I know, but it literally is the only thing that I could think of to describe the feels).

It's interesting to me how you say that you 'aren't good at free verse/prose', whatever that means, because this is probably my favorite poem of yours.

Beautiful, elegant, picturesque- all fitting words for this lovely poem. (10 points)

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My final goodbye by Dagmar Wilson

Truly heartbreaking poem. This topic is so complicated and deep, it's hard to talk about it. But here is an excellent example of conquering a hardship and taking away it's power. You are strong and that is very clear. There is also a level of forgiveness in this, from your prayers, that is also strength.

My heart goes out to you and your suffering- it's beautiful that healing is on the horizon, if not fully present yet.

I cannot comfortably comment on form or anything along those lines as this is very raw and personal for you, I am sure. I believe that it is a good write and I will leave it at that. (7 points)
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Demons by Em

Dark poem, lovely write. The form is great, I love seeing poems in this style, it makes for a simple read and gives each word more of an impact.

You make a point with this poem in a clear and concise way. It's very deep.

A note: I personally wouldn't capitalize every letter in the word NEVER, as it takes away from the flow a tad as well as stands out a bit more giving the other words less power (I don't know if that was your idea behind it, if so, please disregard). Just my thoughts though. (4 points)

I would like to pretend I am happy for the winners but I'm not; two tie breaks lost in three weeks - Larry, I'm coming up behind you!

Just kidding; it's easy to lose to poetry like this. I have to say, all three pieces are wonderful.
Lucero - yours is just a lovely and delicate piece of work and a pleasure to read again and again - it has real depth in few lines.
Narph - a hugely original write that certainly did deserve the front page.
And Larry, I have to say, yours is a master class of intelligent and sophisticated writing - a really wonderful poem.

Well done to all the hms too and thanks for the time given by the judges,

Ben

note to judge who gave me 10: I suppose I meant that free verse doesn't come as naturally to me. Anyway, lovely to get an hm for one.

Congratulations to all winners. All very deserved :)

Narph upon reading yours first time around I fell in love with it because although sad it was original and definitely deserved front page.

Everlasting i have read yours a few times and although short it was mesmerizing in beauty and was a pleasure to read.

Larry I thoroughly enjoy your writes. They always possess sophistication, intelligence and imagery. This was no different.

Thank you for the hm. I will take those words on board.

Again congratulations to all.
Em

Ben... How many hairs do you have?

Seriously, I think we solved the mystery of how the ties are broken.

Congrats everyone and thank you for your comments.

Lucero

That is simply cruel to myself and Larry, lol

While it is not quite as lush as it used to be, back when I was sporting spot-inducing 'curtains', there is still quite enough I would have thought to prop me up on the odd tie break, if indeed that is how hairs are split, lol.

Larry - pay no heed. As for me, I'm off to get hair extensions in the expectation they will help me in future!

^I'd pay to see you wearing a weave...lmao, congrats all and thanks for the judges and moderators who make this possible.

Bob - how much are we talking?

Congrats to Narph and Luce. I've already commented on your poems and expressed my admiration but here it is formally stated. Also congrats to the HMs. (Keep count Ben, but don't tear your hair out in anguish. You know it lessens the odds. Also, I'll bet the site can tell if it's not real.) Thanks to all the judges for your service and to Meena for posting.

I truly thank you, judges, for your votes, but more for your comments. Also, thanks to Andrea for nominating the poem.

Describing the poem as "kiplingesque narrative" and a "history's buff dream" is music to my ears. I confess, though, that after coming across the passage I quoted in my comment I had to wiki the creature, having forgotten the details. It is set within the Egyptian times because one theory as to the inspiration for the Cockatrice was the Nile Crocodile. I started out to write about a proud Pharaoh, however, once the barge came into view all I could see were the slaves poling it upstream, broken and silently dying each day. At that point it wrote itself.

Two things, regarding the comments: I constantly struggle with punctuation, partly because to me Hodges is merely a starting point. Second, everything I've ever written is metaphor, even the true poems.

Congratulations everybody!! Thank you judges and Meena, for posting.

Thank you for the comments. And congrats winners and HMS. :)

Well done to all winners, and HM's: Wonderful poems. Bad luck Ben, maybe a Samson type weave would give you the necessary strength?

Thanks again to the judges - your work is appreciated, as is yours Meena.

Congrats and thanks all around! :) Love this weeks poems!