What is your understanding of this poem?

I wrote this poem quite specifically for a reason and I wonder if anyone would like to give me feedback on what they feel it is actually all about. The fundamental thinking behind it.

Thy absence is always present in my mind
an image I've declined to refuse since
there's nothing I can deny to admit
that which wilt help me move forward
though the backward mire that is the beautiful
ugly of this world

Do thy best kind of worst to make my happiness
unhappy once more and I will praise the blame
that thy lashed upon me, yet borrow not what
ere I can lend thee for it will render the capable
incapable and therefore reveal thy false truth

Thou art my dear the worst ally that
an enemy could ever wish for
no soonest doest thou arrive than
thy departs. Thou artificial demeanour
is almost natural yet conceals much
and yet reveals that cool yet warm mystery
in thy soul that renders thy incapable of
being capable of any deed which might
be filled with light or dark

I encourage thee to discourage me not
for the demand that thou doest supply
moves me down and up towards the correct
yet incorrect assumption that thy
needest to build on stable path so to destroy that
which is bold to thee yet at times timid

Thou stateth thy intent to be cruel yet kind
yet are thou not crooked straight down the line?
Thou disappeareth yet reappeareth once thou
hast caused discomfort to those who once
were with comfort

Please take thyself from this place as soonest
as thy hast arrived since thou will fail even
as thou succeeds though my hope
of your despair is the dry the inner moist
fortunate yet unfortunate that is myself.

Thou might think thyself innocently guilty but
thy colours are marked clearly with blood.
Thou art no longer host but now guest for
thy path is now more dead than alive
in this upside down, right side up world
that we lived and died in.

Sounds like the soul within and the conflicts of conscience, that's what I derived fro it.

The driving force in writing it was to make it as conflicting as I could possibly make it. So I was interested to see what people made of it.
I think maybe you are right Bob that it reflects a conflict of conscience or at least inner thoughts. Thank you for your comment I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to read and analyse it. Take care Milly x