Weekly Contest Results 2 May 2016

  • Larry Chamberlin
    8 years ago

    Every time I host I seek a theme that ties together the winners. This week it may seem difficult to do so. We start with William's rumination about what is the true essence of a person and what would be reborn - and when. Next is Colm's exquisite and perfect Haiku/Senryu, subtle in it's meaning but deep in its understanding of the essence of true awareness. Finally, Maddie's devotional which asserts to capture the essence of her loved one. As you see, the tie that binds is the attention each pays to the essential nature of it's topic. Congratulations all. Thanks to the judges for sending your votes & thoughtful comments timely.

    Front Page:
    Life's Complexity by William Mae 10 + 10 = 20 points
    Haiku/Senryu April 16 by Colm 10 + 4 = 14 points
    This isn't poetry by Adreamer 7 + 4 = 11 points.

    Honorable Mentions:
    Flowers in the fall by Ben Pickard 10 points
    Frankesteinism (pensee) by GB 10 points
    melted concrete by Ben Pickard 7 points
    Quiet Friends by Ben Pickard 7 points
    Setting them Free by Maple Tree 7 points
    Do Angel's throw stones? (Acrostic and Mirror cinquain) by Mr Darcy 7 points
    You are gone by Brenda 4 points
    This is me by Dagmar Wilson 4 points
    Ruler Neptune by Mayday 4 points

    ******************************
    Life's Complexity by William Mae 10 points
    William touched my heart with this piece, during a time when I really needed to read something that I could relate to.
    When judging, I don't pick my selections based on emotional value only, and with this piece, all the elements came together - flawless poem in my opinion.
    The rhyming is one that left me speechless, while in tears.
    Soul searching and starting fresh, while in darkness and sorrow, is one of the toughest things in life to battle..
    This was such an elegant and unique twist, very powerful! 10 points

    ----------------------------

    Life's complexities by William Mae 10 points
    ah that eternal question this poses, if the finality is indeed death, then we have lived for naught......reveling write

    ******************************

    April '16 by Colm 10 points
    What a refreshing, quick poem that says so much. I especially love the alliteration, soft and subtle, yet added a nice punch to the poem.

    ----------------------------

    Haiku/Senryu April 16 by Colm 4 points
    Nightingales nuance
    morning melodies for those
    who cannot listen.
    Nuance is one of those words I have read a million times and convinced myself that I know what it means. For once I actually looked it up and this is its definition;
    a subtle difference in or shade of meaning, expression, or sound.
    Reading this definition and reading it after Nightingales has just created a whole scene in my mind, using 2 words. Which is what a Haiku/Senryu is all about.
    However.....
    Night-in-ga-les nu-ance is 6 syllables.
    Unless you pronounce Gales as 1 syllable.
    Now when I am unsure I use wordcalc syllable counter who agree with me that it is 4.
    Because of this, I drop from 7 to 4 points.
    I also researched the Haiku form (again) which is 5/7/5 but more importantly 17 syllables.
    Now onto why I chose this as one of my top 3.
    The final line.
    The turn is the meat of any Haiku, this turn is a mind explosion.
    Very clever writing.
    I also like the choice the author gives us, A nature poem (haiku) or a sad indictment of life? (senryu)
    Or write it twice?!

    ******************************

    This isn't poetry by Adreamer 7 points.
    I fancied looking for something a little different this week. I found it in this piece.
    Love the conflicting title, this is very much poetry.
    Each stanza is an explosion of imagery from very few words.
    I love the second last stanza, confusing, non nonsensical but works.
    This was almost a 10 for me, but I have this thing for 'I'
    I would remove the last four, just a little repetitive for me.
    Think of that last line as just
    'Write you'

    ----------------------------

    This Isn't Poetry by Adreamer 4 points
    This sweet little poem is something all writers can relate to. Our words go beyond just letters on a page, it's the pouring of our souls. Beautifully expressed.

    ******************************

    Flowers in the fall by Ben Pickard 10 points
    This poem is magical, descriptive and very elegant. I am interested that 'fall' was used for an English sonnet. I was under the impression that they use Autumn over in England. But it rhymes with Cool (albeit secondary) so that is cool by me.
    I was tempted to be a bit mean and give this 7 instead of 10. I have been a little harsh on Ben in recent weeks. Purely because he is a talent and a prod doesn't hurt.
    My negative was the use of so many single syllable words. There is 8 in line one.
    Iambic Pentameter is a difficult skill made easier with single steps. A master of the craft would use multi syllable words that have a stress in the correct place to still fall in the correct meter.
    But to be honest, would any of us mere mortals tell the difference?
    So Ben scores a 10 on his detailed write and final stanza.

    ******************************

    Frankesteinism (pensee) by GB 10 points
    Loved that you used a form, and one I never had heard before. The idea/ concept of this is brilliant. This brings me back to junior year where we read "Frankenstein". How profoundly the monster is (sadly) an "outsider" in human society, representing those walking the earth seen as "broken, disabled, crippled, destroyers". You said so much in so little about what society is and means nowadays.

    ******************************

    Do Angel's throw stones? (Acrostic and Mirror cinquain) by Mr Darcy 7 points
    Michael impressed me this week!
    Two powerful forms in one, with a magical nature message!
    Love the word usage- love the creativity!!

    ******************************

    melted concrete....Ben Pickard....7
    before there was concrete, there were paths, dirt roads created by use after use, before there were skyscrapers, there were fields running into fields, woods upon woods, there was real work, real morals, real principles, real character ....maybe we all need to get away for a spell, take a trip back to before.......delightful write.

    ******************************

    Quiet Friends by Ben Pickard 7 points
    I just couldn't shake my feelings of the atmosphere of your poem being "Poe-esque" like. What I appreciate about this poem is that your voice is loud, drunk, going through the motions AND emotions of losing her. The misery and ache is clear in this, yet the narrator entertains as well. How one can play with misery. And when everything is drunk, nothing is left, there's that quiet reality that this is your mind. Or maybe there were fellow companions, but isn't it funny that sometimes this is how you come to? That when everything's been said, all the alcohol consumed, there is nothing left and you wonder who can comfort you now. Well-written piece! (7)

    ******************************

    Setting them Free by Maple Tree 7 points
    You can feel so much of this authors torn feeling, setting them free yet wanting to hold desperately tight. I love the imagery with wishes and dandelions, the signal of hope yet hurt. Definitely pulled at my heart strings.

    ******************************

    You are gone by Brenda 4 points
    I think this poem conveyed so much depth, without seeming cliche or too simple or even too short. What I noticed is that you didn't really need too many specific images in this poem because your analyzing and trying to understand these ghosts leaves enough of an imprint. Perhaps we take others' presence for granted. But we notice how big the space was that they filled once they leave. Was interesting how you questioned this person's motive for leaving perhaps or how that anger came to be. I like that instead of asking "why", you go further into saying it might have been building "behind the scenes" so to speak. Very eloquent.

    ******************************

    Ruler Neptune by Mayday 4 points
    Loved the unique angle within this poem.
    Expressing feelings from the heart with such a powerful tone, mixed with unique style, was a highlighting poem for me!

    ******************************

    This is me by Dagmar Wilson 4 points
    those beautiful roses, that bring such peace, joy, and wonderful smells, they can dress a room and light up a heart, and yet not even their thorns can protect them from being plucked, much like the children of the world.....for some reason I needed to read this today.......

  • silvershoes
    8 years ago

    Larry, your introduction made me laugh. You remind me so much of my dad.

    Congrats to all!

  • Em
    8 years ago

    Congratulations to all winners and HMs

    Thanks to mods as always and to you Larry for posting.

  • Ben Pickard
    8 years ago

    Thanks to the judges for their comments but at this point I would like to acknowledge the 'prod' I have been given by the judge and give a little one back, maybe.
    At no point ever have I proclaimed to be a 'master of the craft'
    - it was only a few months ago I attempted my first sonnet.
    As to the single syllable words, read Shakespeare's sonnets; you will be horrified by the number of them he uses - quite frequently 8 in one line! :) and don't get me started on slant rhyme - his pieces are simply awash with them...
    Thanks for all your time,
    Ben

  • silvershoes
    8 years ago

    Since you have no idea who this judge is, Ben, I'm afraid to admit I find your back and forth banter/relationship a little bit adorable :) Tickles me every week.

  • Ben Pickard
    8 years ago

    Oh, I have some idea, Jane, lol

  • Red Yoshi
    8 years ago

    Congratulations all!

  • Ben Pickard
    8 years ago

    A Broken Anvil (English Sonnet)

    If fortune favours multi-rhythmed words
    By counting syllables amongst its boons,
    Then open up my grave when I'm interred
    And with them heal these simple one-count wounds.
    A master craftsman will discard his tools
    If each and every blow produces tripe;
    His hammer won't succeed if once it cools,
    Nor fool the eyes of those with clearer sight.
    What tyranny abounds throughout my quill
    To write a verse without the needed guile?
    So wounded pride beseeches me instil
    Some craftsmanship amidst what is defiled.

    Allow the dragon peaceful rest before
    Your prodding does become the serpent's bore.

    Dedicated to the judge who admits to 'prodding' me and this week thought my sonnet lacked the required multi-syllable words for that of a 'master craftsman'. I hope this attempt is more fitting...........:)
    Take care and all the best,
    Ben

  • Ben Pickard
    8 years ago

    *congratulations to the excellent winners and other hms

  • GB
    8 years ago

    Congratulations winners and HMs, perfect pieces this week!

    Thank you Mark for nominating my poetry and thanks to that anonymous smart judge as well :)

  • Britt
    8 years ago

    Congrats winners & HMs!! Thanks, Larry!

  • Darren
    8 years ago

    Congrats all.

  • Poet on the Piano
    8 years ago

    Nice intro, Larry ;)

    Congrats to all! Thank you so much judges!

  • Mr. Darcy
    8 years ago

    Thank you one and all.