Weekly Contest Results - May 9th, 2016

Mark here! Sorry for the delay in getting this up! Huge thank you to the judges, and a congrats to all the winners and those who picked up a HM!

Without further ado, the weekly winners are:

Aleppo by Abed (20 pts: 10 + 10)
Deadly flora by Brenda (17 pts: 7 + 10)
Proliferation by Poet on the Piano (17 pts: 7 + 10)

HMS:
Grace by Britt (11 pts: 4 + 7)
Knowlton Church by AngelaLuisaCory (11 pts: 7 + 4)
Hypoxia by Karla (10 pts)
Frankesteinism (Pensee) by GB (7
Birth by Britt (4 pts)
A Broken Anvil by Ben Pickard (4 pts)
This Splendid Tragedy by Louis A Ranero (4 pts)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Aleppo by Abed:

Abed has written a chilling poem, about the true and utter sadness that is going on in Aleppo.

I was heartbroken from start to finish with this piece.
Abed, elegantly writes with the sadness and sorrow of his words. Intertwining Mothers garden and the dying of flowers.

I'm crying now while writing this comment. That is how powerful this poem is. 10 points- Hands down!

------------------
Those first two lines caught my attention and held it. I tried to imagine just an iota of what it must be like to live in a war zone. These two lines are perfect. Simplistic yet very real, a real sense of hopelessness. As a piece of poetry it is raw, but it works. There is tension, there is drama and there is anguish. It is also very current and extremely topical. I love it when poetry is relevant, a 21st century poem in every sense. Great write and an easy pick this week for 10 points.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Proliferation.
by Poet on the Piano

One of the TOP Nature poems written to date, this lady wrote such a pretty and elegant earthy poem. I was mesmerized from start to finish, just beautiful! 7 points

------------------

She loved me here
among the ravenous mountains
and storytelling meadow and
whistling grass.

-Beautiful intro. I love the use of adjectives- instead of say mountain, meadow, grass- it gives it a more realistic feel and visual of each individual place, it also gives a sense of familiarity.

Here I learned the tribal
voice of the wind, how to
speak without words,
her sun-kissed fingers dancing
en pointe on the nape of my neck.

-A very spiritual feeling goes along with this stanza, not just the sense of "the tribal voice of the wind" but also the second half of the stanza talking about the way 'she' connected with you.

The fire in her eyes
lit the sun in my soul.

-Again, that connection is seen here, in the spiritual sense. It feels like your soul if connecting- being renewed in a sense.

All the past storms flew
from my ashy lungs.
I no longer wore my shame
as another skin, instead I
breathed wildflowers and
hopeful promises.

In nature, I had no reason
to become a burial site.
I blossomed, like stars on
sky and land;
I became a legendary love.

The energy - the light we radiate -
will take us everywhere.

-These last three stanzas feel like the process of rebirth, shedding the past and becoming a beautiful new creation.

Connecting with nature and truly, fully feeling it, letting it change and shape you is a beautiful transformation.

That is what I got out of this poem. It may not be the meaning intended, but that is the beauty in poetry, it connects in unique ways to each individual.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Deadly flora by Brenda

Reminds me of something Seamus Heaney would write, 'blackberries' spring to mind. A poem that talks about how wonderful nature is but then warns us at the same time. In his case it was about overindulging, in this case a warning about how deadly some of these plants can be.
A shame triffids weren't on the list.
'List' is the saline point with this piece for me, some great narrative, great descriptions. Obviously a great deal of research has gone into this, yet it reads a little 'shopping list' so a 7 this time.

-----------

what a write, not only can these warning signs apply to nature , but many other facets of life as well...I enjoyed reading this and appreciate the effort and research you had to have put into it. Written very well too:)

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Grace
by Britt

Oh Britt- To be blessed with what you have, the true grace of our blessings is what I am feeling with this piece, I admire her detail and play on words.. just lovely!! 4 points
-----------

I think this is just about the blessings we are given in our
lives and it can be interpreted in two ways. How many times mercy and kindness is showered upon us even when we feel that
we don't deserve it yet there is a moment/s in our lives we experience it and feel the joy.
The other view is about the beauty "at that moment" given by someone who loves us and at the same time who hurts us with their words. Overall this poem reads well and is filled with mind
capturing images and flows nicely with subtle rhymes that is unnoticeable until the reader has read it a couple of times.
Its simple yet real and the writer's voice comes alive as if she is
conversing with the reader. Simply enjoyed this write! (7 points)

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Frankesteinism (Pensee) by GB

The depth in this is so very impressive. It has a very strong political tone- in which I've noticed that was discussed in the comments and need not be covered again- that is very powerful.

Syllables are on point. I did look up the form as I was unfamiliar to see if there were any other requirements and I feel as though you met them really well.

Thank you for the introduction to a new form of poetry. And, well written. (7)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Birth by Britt

Such a hard and painful topic that you describe from a perspective of pain and peace. This is really well written and dives into a deeper understanding of what lingers in the mind afterward. It's heartbreaking and the process of mourning never truly ends. You don't forget about it, ever. It's so hard. This is a really well written poem from a point of understanding. (4)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A Broken Anvil by Ben Pickard 4 points.

I deliberated for nearly 40 minutes before I picked this. I had This splendid tragedy by Louis A Ranero as my third choice and this as my 4th.
However after reading both about 4 times each the repetition in Louis poem started to annoy me.
So this poem moved up a place.
I had to wait and be sure though, be sure that I wasn't reacting to the dedication.
What I like about this is that it was written at speed, probably in a few hours or less which is good going for sonnets.
I have written a good number of sonnets and they usually take me a few days. (hell my Spenserian Sonnet took me a week to write and I am still not entirely happy with it.)
So for that it is worth 4 points at least. Now it may have been higher if it didn't contain a made up word in line one.
I spoke about multi syllable words and it is good to see that Ben has dispelled most of these.
Having researched Sonnets online it is often said that English sonnets are the less challenging of the sonnet forms to write. I would like to see a more difficult one undertaken. (I am aware of the Italian ones posted). However that aside it is a clever and witty read and worthy of promotion to 4 points.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Knowlton Church by AngelaLuisaCory

sometimes even alleged haunted places can bring out the best within us, this was a perfect tribute to such a place, I love going to such places and getting in touch with my inner soul, nicely done.

-----------

There is a gentle touch to this read which flows effortlessly
and takes the reader along on the ride as well. The rhyme schemes
used sounds smooth to the ears and the simplicity of words used brings alive the images putting the reader there "in that moment".
Upon your mossy banks I lay
As dawn gave birth to piercing day
To shrug the shroud of such sad plight
And closed my eyes to fading night.
^^This opening stanza draws me in and I can see it so
clearly in my mind. To lie in that place closing one's eye forgetting
one self as we give in to mother nature's arms. It sets the mood nicely.

Oh melancholily patchwork quilt
Which hugged my shoulders with such guilt
Sp beautiful your teardrop dew
As softened breeze embalmed as new.
^^A typo here melanchoily should be melancholy
and on the third line: So beautiful instead of sp. Here too
the stanza shows rather then tells about the moment, emotions
as well as the objects around her and how it makes her feel.

Oh beautiful now night has passed
As I lie here upon the grass
I feel as one with all around
Wrapped in quietness, echoes, sounds.

^^Another stanza which I like; the slow introduction of change
in time, mood and atmosphere is done so smoothly without any
disruptions. In that second line one can feel the gentleness of the
grass tickling and hugging the body.

But now the dew has almost gone
Collected by the warming sun
For I am beckoned now away
To stand and face another day.
^^The ending of the poem is just perfect and it sums up the story
just like packing up one's mood, emotions and beauty within you and
preparing yourself to face another day which has been blessed to you.
A lovely read. (4 points)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

This Splendid Tragedy by Louis A Ranero

terrific piece, I equate it to a front running presidential candidacy, and the circus surrounding it, if only the ending as you've depicted it could come sooner......much enjoyed.

Hypoxia by Karla

karla's poem always leaves me wordless. There is not much to say because she brings real life into her poem and it is so visually vivid and it engages the reader emotionally.
The first two lines in the opening stanza just drew me to read on more: "She wears magic on her eyelids as she burns april" and the second stanza is like sitting there and watching all that is unfolding as well as feel all that is coming about. So realistic and touching.(10 points)

Thanks Mark and judges. Well done to all the winners and HMs. :)

I so want to know who that judge that comments on Ben's sonnets is. Lol I love reading your comments.

Congrats winners.

I can't wait until the judge can announce themselves... bwahahah. This has been so fun behind the scenes. Sorry, guys. haha.

Thank you Mark for hosting this week, and all the judges. Congrats to winners & HMs!

Thank you, judges, for your sweet comments. I appreciate you.

Congratulations to the wonderful winners this week. Excellent stuff.
All the very best and many thanks for the judge's in depth comment
PS I'm not sure what word you are alluding to, but I presume you mean 'rhythmed'. In numerous places on-line, I found that it did exist, and in numerous others, it didn't, so I used artistic license, lol

Congrats all

Thank you so much Mark, for posting, and the judges for their comments. I appreciate the feedback and any thoughts!

Congrats to Brenda & Abed on some awesome pieces and all the HM's!!

Thanks judge.i'm honoured!congrats everyone!

Rhythmed is a word that exists, don't believe anyone who says it doesnt :)

Http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/rhythmed

Thank you Mark and judges! Congrats to all-everyone has amazing writes! I really appreciate the feedback and comments.

Excellent work again from everyone involved.

Congrats to the front pagers & the HMs. Thanks judges, you did a great job! Thanks Mark for posting.