Weekly Contest Winners - 5/16/16!

  • Poet on the Piano
    8 years ago

    Hello, everyone! Hope everyone has a fantastic start to their week. The judges sure had minds that think alike this week. Congrats, to Mark, Larry & Ben who grace the front page!! And congrats to the HM'S. Thanks so much judges... what wonderful poems to read!

    ~

    WINNERS:

    "05/07/2016" by: Senyru 10 + 7 + 7 = 24 points

    "Emily Abstracted" by: Larry Chamberlin 10 + 7 = 17 points

    "The Magic of a Maple Tree" by: Ben Pickard 10 + 10 = 20 points

    COMMENTS:

    "05/07/2016" by: Senyru

    "There is a very unique style to this poem that makes it speak even louder than the words themselves. You are open, vulnerable, and broken. It feels like words spewing without fear of consequence as just raw emotion begging to be released from within you.

    I must gush and say that your vocabulary and word placement is incredible. Your way with words never ceases to amaze me.

    The use of typos, scattered punctuation, choppiness, and lack of basic capitalization is very noticeably intentional. It is completely artistic and adds character to this piece- therefor has no negative affect on how it should be rated.

    It's a very well written, powerful piece that deserves much attention." (10)

    - - - - - - - - -

    "Mark, reading your additional comments/responses on this piece and how cathartic it was really made me appreciate this poem even more. As others mentioned, the subtle references, and with the final line of not able to say" finish", it truly showed the rambling yet much needed honesty of the heart. I like how there are no revisions. I like the stuttering, the moments of absolute truth. The spilling of those truths is what drew me to this poem, especially the vulnerability (and the harshness of it) and how it leaves you unable to form full thoughts or sentences or to know the length in which it will last even. Such a vivid poem. Thank you for sharing this with us!" (7)

    - - - - - - - - -

    "I may have missed the point with this one, I awarded 7 points rather than 10 for the lower case 'I' here and there. It is also a bit of a ramble. But to be honest it is a fantastic ramble. Maybe Senyru just wanted this all off his chest and wrote it in one sitting bad punctuation and all.
    I like that it is emotionally charged and loud. (It reads loud in my head) Repetition that makes me stammer is a nice touch. Repetition that hammers home the point, is also a great touch.
    A bit long like all good rambles should be, I enjoyed this." (7)

    _______________________________

    "Emily Abstracted" by: Larry Chamberlin the Godfather

    "The first woman I thought of when starting to read this piece was Emily Dickinson. I obviously do not know who you are referencing or if this person is someone you fabricated (quite well Sir!) or know of. I feel like I am walking in her shoes and she is a real person. You have given her life and spirit. I see the image of her so crisply in my mind. One who weaves in and out of the day without being stopped or noticed or anything out of the ordinary. I found it quite peaceful that she chooses to have a goldfish as a pet, one at a time. And how you mentioned her surroundings, almost like she doesn't need extra noise - radio, TV, other pets, etc. She lives simply and is content with that, because her soul doesn't need the outside materials we so desperately think we need to thrive in this society. There is a truly remarkable and raw beauty about Emily. The way you penned her is inspiring to say the least. During the day, she may seem like another "worker", a "drifter", but during the night she makes sure her voice is heard. That these adventurous and brave women are able to be known in their strength. Loved reading this so much!" (10)

    - - - - - - - - - - -

    "This poem gives a lot of feels.

    Is she happy? Maybe. Maybe it's the kind of life that she has dreamed of as a child, the stability and order that allows her to sit and just write, to let her imagination run free and be who she desires at any given moment (within the allotted time she gives herself).

    ... I personally couldn't imagine being happy with that sort of repetitive daily life. I feel sorrow for her, this human that may or may not be in existence. It gives the thought that many people may live life this way, unnoticed, untouched by the world and it's inhabits. It saddens me to imagine a life like this.
    So many thoughts and feelings are provoked by this poem. I do believe that it is very well written with nice form." (7)

    _________________________________

    "The Magic of a Maple Tree" by: Ben Pickard

    My jocund spirit too was then denounced

    "^don't know if you were inferring to being witty or happy, but it works either way, I thought the poem was divine , despite the dedication....I'm joking, then again....awesome sonnet." (10)

    - - - - - - - - - - -

    "Each week, Ben has been handing out Sonnets like a Funeral director hands out tissues: Multiple Sonnets laced with compassion, emotion, grace and heartfelt love!

    Each week he has been met with critiques and he has handled them with true grace and a bit of fun humor.

    This week, I am granting Ben a 10 for this sonnet because this poem is hands down, the MOST prettiest sonnet I have read to date! just incredible!" (10)

    _____________________________________

    HM'S:

    "Earache (syntuit)" by: Mr Darcy 4 + 4 + 4 = 12 points

    "Before I murdered Innocence" by: Poet on the Piano = 10 points

    "My Sonnet" by: Dreamofolwin = 7 points

    "I don't need you like before" by: Em= 7 points

    "Denver Blossom" by: Maple Tree = 4 points

    "Paper Relationship" by: Darklight = 4 points

    _________________________________________

    COMMENTS:

    "Earache (syntuit)" by: Mr Darcy

    "I only went and finished with a form. My 4 points is to a piece of formed poetry. But it is a form that is restricted in one way, but a meadow in another. Mr Darcy has written a real gem here. I smiled when I read it and once I had read all the poems nominated tonight I immediately thought of this. I just love the last line in relation to the first. It is also a form that I haven't seen much of. One that I am sure I have written myself by accident when writing a haiku or senryu.
    Thanks for posting a quirky but clever piece." (4)

    - - - - - - - - - -

    "Michael took this form and power packed it with an awesome message and statement, that I could go many angles with...

    Earaches can make a strong man fall to his knees... and so can a bad conversation in a crowded room... love the different twists I could take with this poem.. perfect!" (4)

    - - - - - - - - - -

    "A powerful form and deeper meaning than what I would have imagined upon reading "earache". You pen the distress, physically, emotionally and mentally. Like this person has peace of mind but with this "earache", it is shattered. There is no longer silence to indulge in, only chaos." (4)

    _______________________________

    "Before I murdered Innocence." By: Poet on the Piano

    "Okay let's get the elephant out of the room, grab a banjo and smack it around the rear.
    This is not a poem in the poetical sense. In fact it is a diary entry, a piece of prose. It could pass for a slam poem with a little bit of editing, yet it risks losing some of the fuel if messed about with. I have been harsh some weeks, yet I am actually bored tonight. Form after form after another form...
    I wanted something different yet I have been presented the same gifts just re-wrapped and re-worded. A circle of nominations that is turning the weekly into a closed shop.
    I was tempted to step down as a judge tonight. Purely because I am not sure whether or not I am truly impartial in my choices. Not that I am picking the same people...more I am avoiding to try and help the weekly have more variety of winners. Now to this piece, I have given it 10 points because of the bravery of the author, I feel that she has given us all an insight into her mind and her feelings. She has shared with us some pain. Poetry should strike a chord, simply put this has.
    It is also as far from a form that you could find." (10)

    ______________________________________

    "My Sonnet" by: Dreamofolwin

    "Ms. Dreamofolwin: Not only did you master the Sonnet form, you mastered the funny category and that is no easy task... first time I have read a funny sonnet and giggled from start to finish! This was a wonderful read!" (7)

    __________________________

    "I don't need you like before" by: Em

    the one of the nightmares you held,
    where you painted my body black and blue.

    I often thought of you when I left, wondered
    if I could have helped your violent attacks
    but then it dawned on me that no matter what
    I'd have done, you'd still overreact.

    Once, I loved you but now...
    now I hate your mere existence

    ^"if this were written just a tad better it would have been my top selection, but it's really hard writing things that involve raw emotion, even harder when you've experienced the downside of it. I talk to many kids about these things daily, and people have no idea what domestic violence does to their young minds. Thanks for sharing." (7)

    ___________________________

    "Denver Blossom" by: Maple Tree

    "I love the poetic imagery that you portray within. It's a very short poem of your beginning to present. It's life intertwined with nature, and it's beautiful." (4)

    _______________________________

    "Paper Relationship" by: Darklight

    "Short but strong, a relationship that has done many well....I really enjoyed this, now you need to go make love to that paper with your pen.....Insightful write." (4)

  • Em
    8 years ago

    Congratulations to all winners.

    Well done to all HMs.

    Thanks judges.

  • Britt
    8 years ago

    Congrats winners & HM's! Some awesome poetry this week!

    Thank you judges, awesome comments, too!

  • Ben Pickard
    8 years ago

    Many congratulations to the other winners and hms; the quality of poems being written at the moment genuinely astounds me.
    Can I just say a special thank you to Michael (Mr Darcy) who challenged me to write a sonnet a few months ago for the first time as he thought my style was suited to them. I didn't think I could do it then but, a few months on, they are my favourite form to read or write.
    Thanks to the judges for their votes and comments,

    Ben

    ps "Jocund" - cheerful or light-hearted.

  • Maple Tree
    8 years ago

    Beautiful Poetry!!

    Congratulations Gentlemen!

    powerful Hm's as well!

    Thank you judge for your lovely comment :-)

  • Poet on the Piano
    8 years ago

    And thank you, judge, for your vote and comment. I appreciate thoughts on it, as I know it DOES read as a journal entry and may not have that great of a flow.

  • Red Yoshi
    8 years ago

    Congratulations, mark, larry and ben and hms

  • Larry Chamberlin
    8 years ago

    Thank you judges, for the front page and to Luce for nominating the poem. Congrats to Mark and Ben and to the HMs. Thanks to the judges for your dedication and to MA for hosting.

    I have to point out, though, that the points accorded to my poem are misprinted. Emily has 17 points, not 24. The third vote is not for Emily. It was for "I don't need you like before" by Em, which should have been listed as an HM.

  • Em
    8 years ago

    Thanks Larry

  • Poet on the Piano
    8 years ago

    ^ Fixed, thank you Larry! And my apologies, Em. Congrats on the HM!

  • Em
    8 years ago

    Thanks you :)

  • hiraeth
    8 years ago

    Was not expecting a win, thank you! Thank you judges for all your hard work, and to MA for posting! Congrats to Ben& Larry for making it to the front page with me, and congrats to all those who got a HM!

  • Mr. Darcy
    8 years ago

    A fantastic week of poetry and comments on them from our judges - congratulations and thanks to you all...

    It was mentioned a month ago or so that our illustrious ladies were stealing the limelight. This was true and deservedly so, but this week, well, well the men, namely Mark, Ben and Larry have raised the bar.

    In my mind I saw this scene: a ceremony on 'Lion king' pride rock, 3 figures walk up to the grassy edge; below the eagerly waiting P'n'Q community look up.

    On one side we have Larry the Lion, his silvery mane ruffling in the Kenyan warm breeze. On the other we have Mark, his colourful mane, vibrant and shimmering. In between these magnificent poetic beasts strides Ben, Tarzan like, adorning a meager, yet modest loin cloth; each brandishing their scrolls towards their rapturous audience.

    Well done men, well done indeed!

  • Maple Tree
    8 years ago

    Giggles, Michael you really have a fun way of commenting on the winners this week! ha!

    You had me until you mentioned loin cloth lol

    Oh mercy!

  • Ben Pickard
    8 years ago

    I have no modest loincloth, Michael - only the scroll! And if I brandish it, well......

    Thanks for the literal laugh out loud!

  • Larry Chamberlin
    8 years ago

    Sheesh

  • Hellon
    8 years ago

    On one side we have Larry the Lion, his silvery mane ruffling in the Kenyan warm breeze. On the other we have Mark, his colourful mane, vibrant and shimmering. In between these magnificent poetic beasts strides Ben, Tarzan like, adorning a meager, yet modest loin cloth; each brandishing their scrolls towards their rapturous audience

    ^^^

    Michael...your imagination is well...'out there'. Can I ask..in your wonderful picture...does Ben still have his hair extensions?

  • Mr. Darcy
    8 years ago

    ...does Ben still have his hair extensions?
    ^^^^

    Well, it's difficult to tell as the loin cloth covers the majority of the extensions.

  • Ben Pickard
    8 years ago

    Do I get a say in any of this? I tell you, good fellow, I am approaching the point of utter humiliation.

  • Mr. Darcy
    8 years ago

    Sorry Ben, I should have just had 3 lions on pride rock and be done with it, but hey that's not me!

  • Daisy if you do
    8 years ago

    "Well, it's difficult to tell as the loin cloth covers the majority of the extensions"

    ^^^^OMG just kill me, cause I am dying laughing. Oh the imagery!!!

    Congratulations winners, wonderful poetry! Congratulations to HMs as well. Tough competition

  • Ben Pickard
    8 years ago

    Humiliation complete. Thanks Kay :(

  • Daisy if you do
    8 years ago

    Love ya Ben!!

  • Ben Pickard
    8 years ago

    So I see...

  • Red Yoshi
    8 years ago

    Be proud of who you are hahahaha

  • Larry Chamberlin
    8 years ago

    And be proud of what you've got

  • Meena Krish
    8 years ago

    Congratulations Winners and HM's!! Well done :)

    Thank you judges for all your work :)

  • Em
    8 years ago

    Haha Michael you imagination is well let's say 'wild' thanks for the laugh :)