Weekly Contest Results 30 May 2016

What does it feel like to be human? It could be the simple realization that not only are you significant in the lives of the needy, you also find deep satisfaction in your personal life. It could be the drive to expose hypocrisy and show a deeper meaning lost to institutional concerns. Or it could be a single tortured relationship which, despite its frustrating and painful experience, you refuse to abandon. Such is the front cover comprised this week. Congratulations to these three and to the HMs this week.

Typical Evening, Late Night of Writing by Maple Tree 7+7+7 = 21 points
Everything "Holy" by DarkNDangerous total: 10+10 = 20 points
Please explain Dad by Em total: 10+4 = 14 points

Corked wine (syntuit string) by Mr Darcy total: 7+4 = 11 points
Bonfires, Vodka And Cigarettes by Ben Pickard total: 10 points
The Awakening by Hellon total: 10 points
People watchers (acrostic) by Larry Chamberlin total: 7 points
Hatred by DarkLight total: 4 points
313 by RainbowYoshi total: 4 points
Experiment 2 | literal literature by Senyru total: 4 points

Typical Evening, Late Night of Writing by Maple Tree 7 points
You're sitting at home thinking about the day behind you; you think about how helplessly awkward your charges can be and how you had to teach them things they should have known since entering grade school. Then you suddenly realize you would not change it for the world. You see your place in the world and it is good. You look over at your spouse with feeling of awe that you can feel such warmth for him and you truly understand that this feeling is possible because you accept yourself so thoroughly. Such a simple poem and yet so profound!

----------

Typical Evening, Late night of writing 7 points
Maple tree has this way with her writing to draw you in and imagine being there right beside her. If I smoked I would be drawing on the cigarette with her. (trying to ensure I don't make the butt soggy before handing back)
I like the layout, it is set out as a poem that should read quick, yet you can't help but read it slowly and enjoy every stanza.
Almost a 10 but stanza 6 didn't quite work for me. Yes it tells you the back-story and explains why insomnia is hanging about like an unwelcome guest. It might be that I have never been a fan of sentences broken across two lines. (Public and hallway) Yes I am that picky.
I don't want to detract from how good this is though. (on best behaviour this week)
A final point I love how the slow pace and the peaceful setting of the poem is in conflict of the drama and tension of the story it is telling. (The job must be very stressful yet very rewarding) 7 points
----------

Typical Evening by: Maple 7 points
Andrea, you bear your soul in this piece (as in everything you write!) and I love how we can experience and see (if even just a reflection) of the impact we can have on people. Of the lives we help, trying to help others live to their fullest potential and greatest quality of life. This was a reflective piece and I can't begin to imagine how much you see those you work with or anyone struggling every time you open or close your eyes. You give so much so others may live with dignity and compassion and understanding at where they are at in life. Powerful as always! (7)

*************************************

Everything"holy"....dark and dangerous...10 points
Just wow, a breakdown of religion at its finest, that thing people cling to, that has been more responsible for hatred and senseless killing than anything known to man. Segregating and dividing us all by the premise of false righteousness. Writings like this are seldom accepted with favor, course the truth usually isn't. Very well done.

----------

Everything "Holy" by DarkNDangerous 10 points
This poem was a difficult read the first two times I read it. It is a bit of a mouthful and choppy.
However that being said, third read in the meaning starts to explain itself. This site loves nothing more than a good spirited religious debate. This poem is strong in its stance, we know what side of the fence this author would be seated. I love how 'holy' is exaggerated by the punctuation. Very sarcastic and sarcasm is good in my book. This is a rose among the forms tonight with it's stumbling rhythm and lack of rhyme, yet the imagery is amazing and the meaning intense. Such a dark tone as well. 10 points.

*************************************

Please explain Dad by Em 10 points
The poem captures the angst of living with rejection, th frustration of continually reaching out even though she knows her efforts will be met with unfair blame-placing. Yet, she knows that she must continue in spite of what will inevitably come, not because she hopes for change, but because that is what a dutiful daughter does. In this era of gratification and obsession with happiness it is refreshing to find a fellow traveler whose motivation is Duty and is able to express it so well with just the touch of irony.

----------

Please explain Dad by Em 4 points
This is heartbreaking to read, there is pain and confusion and so many questions.
Just writing this for us all to see shows real strength. I applaud you for that and that is why you are in my top 3 for this week.
My only gripe (I had to have one) is the layout.
You used one comma mid sentence, either there needed to be more or the lines broken further.
This probably should have been a 24 line poem.
Example
stanza 1
Ever laid in bed a while
thinking what went wrong? (this question mark was missing)
cried just to get rid of your aching heart
though not for long?
I'm sick of second guessing
why you keep me at arms length,
I wish I could stop visiting you
and regain all of my strength

There are also a few words not needed that could easily be trimmed,
making the poem read like this.

Ever laid in bed a while
thinking what went wrong?
cried to rid your aching heart
though not for long?
sick of second guessing
why you keep me at arms length,
wish I could stop visiting you
regain all of my strength

Of course this is just my opinion, and opinions are like something else we all have one of.
Normally I am not a fan of rhyming but it helps the poem in this case and is a good fit.
For your bravery and the emotional content this is worthy of an HM at least. 4 points

*************************************

Corked wine (syntuit string) by Mr Darcy 7 points
Michael - You did wonderful with this form, I am very impressed!
The message is a difficult one to even think about, let alone write and you just laid it all out.. I was shocked and happy all at the same time, because this darkness should never remain hidden... truly a wonderful poem! (7)

----------

Corked wine (syntuit string) by Mr Darcy 4 points
Stark story told bluntly. The syntuit form is well adapted to this type of exposure. The raw chauvinism, brutality spiritual belittlement and her all-too-common unquestioning acceptance of her own guilt. This poem is so gritty I fell dirty just having read it. You want to reach through the page and subdue this monster. So real!

***************************************

Bonfires, Vodka And Cigarettes by: Ben Pickard 10 points
Different from your other writes, Ben, but I felt the wave of emotion in this, as I find in many of your writes there's a depth
that's intangible but one that tells such a story. I love how intimate this write feels. "We must look absurd..." - that line contrasts the heaviness of this piece in the beginning. Like what a pair, what an image. In the next few stanzas, I can just picture this too thin woman who has seen and experienced too much. When you mentioned that savage search for "healthy flesh", my skin crawled because I thought of those suffering from an eating disorder. That pure and honest desire to see someone looking not only healthy but radiant in their beauty, not frail or empty. There's also a sense of numbness in this (if you can sense it?), as if this room is so still and death perhaps has even deemed this room (and girl) unable to be revived. Your visuals and atmosphere are chilling but so well written. There's mystery in this, and that mention again about the smoke and vodka is like holding onto something that's real and alive. But what will happen afterwards? When will her flame come back? Such an intriguing write. It's like mourning the past, the life you used to love to see in her. (10)

***************************************

The Awakening by Hellon 10 points
This is so elegant and full of emotion, I can't begin to comment.
I was blown away by this piece.
Hellon, penned such a pretty poem.
Yearning a person or love, that has gone away or may have even passed on, brings such deep emotion to the fore front and when writing it is difficult to etch the words, and she simply amazed me.. true beauty! (10)

***************************************

People watchers.....Larry Chamberlain.....7 points
the balance of this is amazing, the hustle and bustle of the world flowing through ones eyes. The potential mates line was a nice touch. Very nice

***************************************

Hatred....Darklight.....4 points
I liked it last week, and even more this week, its simplicity and message is still front page worthy. Such a simple way to rid ones self of hatred. Enjoyed

***************************************

313 by Yoshi 4 points
Yoshi-
I'm feeling 313 is very significant for this poem and when I read this poem I cried.
You took the flow and message and made a powerful little gem here.
The raw emotion and pain within says it all and I don't need to pick it apart for interpretation.
Well done! (4)

***************************************

Experiment 2 / literal literature by: Senyru 4 points
I can't tell you how many times I've read this on separate days this week, and each time, I squeal with a "this is so neat!". I've honestly never thought about actually typing out punctuation or literary devices or how you format a poem. I even have a copy on here of the poem with the actual punctuation not typed out. This struck me as something fresh and exhilarating to read. It gives this poem so much more flavor and perspective. For me, it showed how much you want to illustrate this person's impacted you. How much their love suffocated you and maybe in some way changed you. The images are so alive and unique that I can't help but see this love cross all boundaries to reach you. The ending is where you may be starting hopefully a new chapter in your life. All the breaks and pauses but you will finally move on. Only suggestion is I think it would read better: "I'd rather be in" instead of "I rather be in". (4)

I neglected to say thank you for the comment on People Watchers!

Also thanks to the judges for your faithful performance

Thank you for the HM! Congrats to all the winners, and those who picked up a HM. Thank you judges for your hard work, and thank your for hosting Larry!

Thank you Larry for posting, to judges for always doing a great job. Congratulations to the other winners and to all the HMs.
I feel honoured for being nominated and to be on the front page. Thanks again.

Congratulations to all the winners and fellow HM's. Thanks Larry for hosting and those tireless judges.

Congrats all!

Btw 313 is the area code for Detroit. I will say no more

Congrats everyone involved

Congrats everyone! And thank you Larry for posting

Thank you judges for the comments on my poem, means a great deal to me.

Congratulations to Em and DarkNDangerous

And the hms...thank you judges and Larry for all your hard work. .

Congrats to the winners and HMs...thank you judge for your lovely comment...very much appreciated.

Congratulations to all the winners and HM's-awesome writes all around. Thank you Larry for your moderating this week, very entertaining.

Congrats all!

Congrats all!