Let's Show Some Appreciation!

""Nice" is not a state, it's a choice of repertoire."

Love it, Larry. Nice just isn't natural. My point exactly.

And I don't doubt it! I would be never want to be on the opposite team to you! But you still have to play nice. I work in a government museum and I can't even send a quick email without triple checking it in case someone gets butt hurt and calls HR. Ugh. I can't imagine all the hoops a lawyer has to jump through to get the desired result. But it is so important that you do.

Also, how good is Jane at appreciating people?

What a lovely idea Britt. There are so many selfless, helpful talented people on this site.

I have only been a member of the site for a very short while I have found the majority of the people on this site are amazingly helpful and kind and it is a real pleasure to be part of such a proactive and positive group.

There are so many people that deserve a mention so in no particular order....

Ben Pickard - What a star! He is always willing to help and offer support and advice and is particularly good at putting newbies at ease with technical, emotional and creative encouragement.

Mr Darcy for his help and support to others, offering advice on technical side of things and for consistently leaving good constructive feedback.

Dagma, Em, Darren, Brenda, Angie Cory, William Mae, Night Flyer and Kellyana for their positive comments and support and encouragement for me to write even when I don't feel like I have the energy to do so.

Larry Chamberlin for his quiet, kind behind the scene encouragement

Maple tree for her wonderful poetry competition about mother nature that inspired some really terrific poems in so many different formats.

For all the moderators who selflessly donate their time to judge competitions and make sure that the site is run smoothly.

Last of all a huge thanks to Britt who initiated this wonderful discussion and to everyone who took their time out to publically declare their appreciation of the unsung hero's of this site.

Milly xx

Abby, there are two phases of the battle. Getting there you have to be Nice & follow rules.
But, when you get them on the stand ....
"I get to hurt people and get paid for it." - Tank McNamara

Re my own clients: I'll be damned if I'm going to help a parent get custody if they don't treat their kids right. I've fired many a client for not getting that.

Jane appreciates people people wonderfully but she can often ignore your faults. Personally speaking.

Continuing...

Hellon: Or should I say Hellon4wheels!? Our honorary TC member. A force to be reckoned with, but if you dig deeper you're sure to find a tender heart, noble spirit, and stalwart friend. Hellon's comforting words regarding Milo still ring in my head and heart. She has never been less than good to me, and I appreciate her honesty and willingness to bear the brunt of people's frustration for the sake of the site. She's a pillar, regularly making us more active, and when all is said and done, I feel nothing but fondness and appreciation for her. Thank you, Hellon.

Andrea: Let me add to the long list of people who think this woman is the sweetest, gentlest soul on the earth. She's like our very own PnQ fairy godmother - whimsical, fun, magnanimous, good-natured, and quietly wise. She's made me smile in admiration too many times to count. Thanks for being a kind friend to us all, Andrea, and for keeping the spirit of poetry alive.

Sylvia: Though they have many differences, there's a quality Sylvia and Hellon share - it's a strength; a fieriness and straightforwardness. I don't know what it is exactly, but I respect it. I am very fond of Sylvia and feel she has acquired wisdom in years, but maintains a youthful spirit and openness. She's also a huge animal lover just like me! There was a time I made an ignorant comment to Sylvia and she immediately called me out on it, which surprised me in a good way. And then she forgave me and that was that. I sincerely admire her fairness and generosity.

Ah, Larry. You have a way. That is all. You are smart and kind and good and articulate and people generally agree with you. You are in the right job.

I don't agree with your assessment of Jane, though. This is a gush thread, not a criticism thread. Ask her honestly for your faults and be prepared to heal from massive wounds to your ego. But I'm too frightened to fall after she's lifted me so high. She bites her tongue more these days, but nothing can blunt her keen perception of people.
Ammiright, Jane?

Preferring to preserve my inflated but fragile Ego, I will pass on your challenge. I'd rather not have my feet cut out from under me so quickly.

I have to be entirely honest, although the faintest outline of someone's personality and credentials (or lack thereof) can be drawn by some in the virtual world, I would have thought that true perception came in understanding that not a one of us can have any real insight into a person over the internet.

I've known most of these people longer than I've known my husband. Some of us here are a pretty tight knit group from years ago that have been quite open and have shared a lot of life together.

^ this, I know some people for a very long time. Besides, relationships only work when people are willing to be open & honest, it doesn't matter if it's online or in-person. You could know someone in real-life for a very long time, and still not really 'know' them.

That said, I've been meaning to post here for a while, still trying to gather the words. way too many lovely people on here. :)

That's the point, though. You say you 'know' them, but I don't believe you really can. You have to spend time with someone to know them - experience them first hand. Mark, I agree that that in itself doesn't necessarily mean you 'know' them, but it certainly sets you in better stead than typing (what could be anything) over the internet.
Just my thoughts.

Well then I just love this version of people. This version of people has helped me grow as a woman, a human, a believer, and opened my eyes and heart to so many different things. I don't need to talk to their face for that and I'm okay with it :)

Britt, Amen to that.
Maybe to put things more astutely, it's more a case of seeing the good people do on this site and recognising that in them. But my comment was perhaps aimed more at the idea of someone analysing our flaws over the internet. I think we have to know people on a more personal level before we have any kind of right to think we can do that with accuracy.

My boyfriend could not believe me when I told him that one can make friends with someone online and get to know them.

I think we can, however, no one can truly describe anyone with accuracy because we are constantly improving or not improving our views and beliefs. But we can describe someone as close as possible. For instance, I'm a pessimist with an optimistic sense of humor. I am an optimistic pessimistic, if that makes any sense.

Ah yes, I didn't have cell service before now.

What I meant to write: I'm too keenly aware of my own shortcomings to want to tell other people theirs. Those without sin cast the first stone something something. I'd rather try to understand why someone is the way they are and help them be better, which in turn helps me be better. I've never regretted being compassionate, but I regret each time I hurt someone's feelings or bad mouth. Some people can pull it off so that it's not mean, but I come across as callous every time.

Thank you for the sly compliment though, Abby. Love you. And thanks Larry.

Ben, it's okay if you haven't made close friendships here yet, just don't close yourself off from the opportunity. Maybe we don't see the full picture, but there are people on this site I love like family and turn to for support and encouragement. Lots of good people here, and guess what - you're one of them. How much of a difference does face to face really make? People can always choose to hide parts of themselves.

DID JANE JUST QUOTE SCRIPTURE? My heart. ;)

Yes, Jesus would be very happy with Jane.

Hahahahaha

Bahahhaa!

Jane, you have just proven my point exactly: don't believe for a minute that I'm a 'good person' - you simply do not have enough information at your disposal to know that either way....:) There are just too many intricacies and experiences that cannot be remarked upon online. Yes, we can hide ourselves in any walk of life, but admit it or not, it's a damn sight easier to do so behind a screen.
I am certainly very friendly with certain people on this site and do indeed regard them as friends, but this is a virtual world and whether people like it or not, reality is too often very far removed from that.
But again, each to their own and I entirely respect and admire those who build (and take something from) friendships online.

All the best

I guess I believe what other people are putting out there is reality because I don't question if I'm being genuine myself? I think it's kind of strange for people who try to build relationships with others and are active in an online presence say that.

Anyway, I'm kinda bummed out a feel good thread went south again. I guess I'll quit trying.

The most important thing that you learn as you mature is to judge. Most people do it unconsciously, but many people understand that they are making judgments about people. These judgments may or may not be true, but we operate on them. It does not matter whether you see the person flesh to flesh or behind the screen, you are still judging them and operating on that judgment.

In my line of business, I have found that people can live with each other for decades operating on ill-conceived judgments. Each of us sees in the other person what we want to. What you see in them in the flesh or on-screen makes less of a difference than you might expect.

We all project onto the other person what we wish them to be for our sakes. To say that we don't know anyone simply because we're on a computer site is to ignore the fact that we don't know anyone despite lying in bed with them for the past 30 years.
Don't fool yourself by thinking you cannot establish relationships over the Internet, for they are every bit as valid as face-to-face relationships. If it turns out that we are dealing with someone who has falsified them self, who deliberately deceives everyone and are not who we think they are, then, like a divorcing couple our image of that person is shattered, and more importantly what we took him to mean "to us" is damaged irreparably. However, we go on, we continue to judge, we continue to relate and we just hope for the best.

My only point was that it is - undeniably - harder to judge someone without meeting them face to face: that simply has to be true.
Britt - why has this thread 'gone south' ? It's just a discussion.

PS Larry, I certainly do know my wife as well as it's possible to know anyone and that level of intimacy couldn't be acquired without actually sharing a life together which must support the point I'm making.

Britt, please don't feel discourage. The thread is going pretty good in my opinion. (This is one way of how I think - If there's always an opportunity to learn something even if things don't go according to how they are supposed to, then it's all good).

A question that popped to my mind - how do we get to know someone? Or how is it that we get the feeling that we know someone? Or how can we know if someone is genuine?

Based on my conversations with online friends, I feel I know them because I have "meaningful" conversations or at least what I would consider meaningful. Like having debates and sharing our views about politics, religion, education, etc. and from time to time talked about our daily lives. Finding out why some believe in a certain view of life, makes me feel more connected to a person. Do I know if they are genuine? Not really. But my intuition tells me that they are. Hence, I add them on my Facebook that is if I know that they have an account. Lol XD

This thread is about appreciation. So I like to appreciate this thread.

By the way, Mr. Larry...
Can't we not judge? It seems to be part of our nature. And definitely, I think I do it unconsciously.

Edit: Ben

I have an aunt who met her husband online. They didn't know each other in person other than by emails and sharing a picture. They are happily married.

Lucero, that's great but why bother meeting in the first place if conducting the relationship online is equally as meaningful?
Again, I think my point has been lost. I didn't say you couldn't make great friends or acquaintances online, simply that it was harder. Ultimately, nothing beats fave to face communication.
I saw a man in the supermarket the other day who wore a t shirt that read 'fuck Facebook, I've got real friends'

My point there is that it's hard enough to make friends in reality let alone in the virtual world. Real friends. My Mum once said if you get to the end of your life with a handful of these, you're lucky, and now suddenly everyone thinks they have them by the 1000 online. Perhaps we are getting a little frivolous with our use of the word friendship.

I know these comments might seem a little harsh to some but I'm just being honest as I see it - something a fair few people have been complemented for on this very thread

I would consider myself lucky to have the friends i do. They are online, but i consider them close, well 2 of them i do, the others are just there really.

Ben,
hmmm, why bother meeting in the first place?
because they were ready to move onto another type of relationship, no longer being just friends but more than just that. They wanted to create a family.

To be honest, I have a lot of acquaintances, many friends, and a few best friends. My best friends are my brothers, my sister, and my boyfriend (i'll dare say my parents as well). I have a best friend who I met 6 years ago - online. What I like about that is that I can talk to him as if we talked yesterday even when we go periods without talking.

The term "friends" may be misunderstood but I know what you are talking about by "real friends". A real friend is my definition of a best friend.

Edit: I'm trying to explain but I can't seem to.

What I mean is that one can be friends with people online - talk, share views, play online games. With time, they can end up being your best friends or real friends without meeting each other or until you end up meeting them or they can end up being just acquaintances. I agree that chatting is not the same as with being face to face. However, when one chats, or at least in my case, it can be easier to express our views than by actually speaking. There are advantages and disadvantages. But ultimately, in my opinion, one can get to know someone by having conversations but many many many....

Interesting views and thanks everyone who contributed; it's certainly made me think at least.
Britt, despite what you think, this was and still is a great thread so thank you.

All the best

Melpo -- This is a woman who has taught me so much about grace and truth, something this world truly needs more of. I've watched Mel grow from a high school student to achieving her dreams through ridiculously hard work and dedication. We've been there for each other through break ups, new relationships, other broken friendships, high times, low times, and all the times in between. Her poetry is out-of-this-world beautiful, and that stems from her beautiful soul. I can't gush enough about Mel, she's one of the most kind, genuine, and pure people I know. Get her angry (which isn't even real angry hahaha) and you'll see a snarky, sassy woman who still riddles her words with kindness. She's fair and justice and see's all sides to a situation. She's loving and gracious and I just can't help but admire this sweet, sweet soul.

<3 She's super busy with work right now, but her holidays are coming up soon so I know she'll get to see this sometime :P

Somewhere between 2005-2007 about 6 of us from this site , decided to meet in person, and ended up meeting in Lorain, Ohio at Cindy's house. Guess what, everyone was exactly who they were on the internet. The friendships we established within the site actually became stronger after we met. It was amazing that not on was different than what they appeared to be online. Of course that doesn't mean everyone is, behind a screen you can be anyone you want to be. But one usually gets the gist of someone after a few months of relating, many just ignore the red flags........

Fair point Bob. Cindy told me about that meeting. I would love to have met her myself.

I'd like to show appreciation to:
Lostlove 1 - she's not only a great poet but also a good friend.
Sylvia - who invite me to belong to Phoenix Rising: my first club here.
Cindy (always kind & noble), Average Thoughts ( my faithful good friend), Ddavidd (an Unique poet), Abed ( a great guy in every sense and poet too), Senyru ( you have a great heart), Mera Luna ( loved your comments), The Queen ( you always motivated me), The Prince ( a grear poet too) , Lioness (it's pity she is not here anymore) and Xanthe (how i miss your poetry! You have always been my favourite poet).

Darren, thanks for mentioning my name. You brought light to The Poetic Minds.

Aww we I am flattered.
Big smiles

I actually have a long list, I will have to add more later. But I am going to start with a couple that are no longer with us.

I really appreciate....

Billy rob: for being the first person to ever comment my cheesy poetry and encourage me to keep writing. I miss him so much, he was such a special man. Always called me on Christmas and my birthday.

Cindy: So many things to say about this woman. I appreciate her kind and caring soul. She was truly a sweet, selfless woman. She challenged me to think outside the box in a lot of things. Missing her dearly.

Okay and on to a couple more tonight.

Bob Shank: We have not always seen eye to eye. Matter of fact I despised you at times. But, in all honesty you and Anna have probably helped me grow as a writer more than anyone else. From being a newbie and just watching from the rafters of p and q when you would go on your tirades about "I" poetry and overuse of "the" and "and" . I appreciate how tough you were. I also applaud you for being that way towards Cindy, it was what she needed and the reason why she thrived a little more. I applaud you and appreciate your level head and for your persistence in keeping morons, pedophiles and plagiarist from this site while in tenure as a mod.

Yaki: Oh my, what all can Say???? I have often thought of you as a second child. I admire the woman and creative outgoing soul you have become. You were a little hard to understand to begin with. You burst with energy and I am envious. Love you chica and one day we will meet. One day....

Britt, Another young soul I have had the great fortune of becoming friends with. Our ideals, morals and views are probably more alike than most on this site. You amaze me with your faith and generosity, not to mention your creativity. You are such an asset to this site, and were terribly missed in your absence. I love you girl.

MaryAnne: Though are ages differ our outlook on things do not. You are such an asset to this site. I know you started young and have grown so much. I am so proud of you and know you will make a footprint in this world. I just can't wait to say "I know her". (Send autograph immediately) I deeply love your poetry and connect in so many ways. I can almost always pick your poem from a bunch and know you have written it. Much love to you as well.

Hellon: I have always envied your ability to be so comedic and serious. You are a special asset to this site. I think you are one of the best writers this site has known. I loved your Scottish tongue poetry between you and Frank. I admire you so much that you still after all these years maintain this aura of mystery about your personal life but yet share so much wisdom to us all. You managed to help if not virtually single handedly held this site together at times. Thank you seems so small in comparison to your contributions

Larry: I love your wit, humor and intelligence. I appreciate your level head and your endearing qualities. When I first started noticing you, you were so quiet. Now we can't hush you up lol. But that's a good thing.

Poetess: You are absolutely amazing. You always make me smile. You are so smart and have such a kind heart. I enjoy your points of view and am quite envious of your choice of pets. You have an amazing personality and it beams through in your posts here and Facebook. Glad to call you a friend.

Keith: you probably won't even read this but to one of my oldest (longest) pnq friends I have to give a shout out. We exchanged numbers and often stories of our kids and adventures. It always brings a smile to my face when I hear from you

I would like to thank everyone who mentioned me in their post-so many people I admire on this site- my UK peeps-Ben Picard, Em, and Mr. Darcy (Michael) I love the way you guys write and really appreciate your thoughtful comments on my stuff. Maple Tree-amazing writer-first poem I read on this site, Milly-you have such a gift of taking everyday like and putting it into words. Larry-really appreciate your comments as well as your writes. So many many more wonderful writers-you all have NO idea how much you encouraged and push my writing. I'm so inspired by all the amazing talent that is on this site-

Love this thread!

Once again I'd like to say how humbled I am with the comments you've all left. As I said, I feel I've had a few lives here on P&Q so it may take me a while to write it all out so..I'll be editing this post a few times.

I first joined this site in 2006/7 and I'll always remember the first member to leave a comment on my...well crap poem :)..It was Twisted Heart and although she doesn't come on here too much now she was the encouragement that got me started. Next came Luanne who invited me to join her club RTVW where I met so many great members. Luanne was like a mother hen in her club and we all felt relaxed in there. Anna and Kay(although members) were a little remote to me at that time but...I did get to know them a whole lot better in my 'second life' so, I'll come back to them later. Kay did mention the Scottish dialect poems Frank and I used to write in the club...we just ad-libbed way back then and had a great laugh in the process....what Kay doesn't know about were the poems we wrote on the sly..about every member in RTVW....OMG...they were totally unprintable!!! Hilariously funny but...yeah...it was our "Classic Collection" and will remain so :)

Bob Shank was also a member of RTVW...well actually he was a few members but..however...cough...he used to run a lot of poetry comps back then and that's where I learned a lot about formed poetry...I was shite, he knew it and told me so quite often but...I sucked it up and learned a great deal from him...pity, as a mod, he was so heavy handed on the suspension button!

Another member I remember from RTVW was Eric Greene whom I challenged to make one of my poems into lyrics...not only did he do that but he also made a video, and posted it on you tube....just some of the many unforgettable memories I have about my first years on P&Q.

Second Life to follow haha!!!

EDIT

Ok...second life (that I remember) I came back under the alias of Miss Take and just bummed around the site for a while. RTVW suddenly split in two (I still don't know why) and PR was born..then there was another split and M&M came on the scene...(Am I the official P&Q historian by now?) Finally...a very small group emerged...Anna, Kay and myself opened our own club called "Standing Outside the Fire"...we were never big but we had some goddamn great members....Kiko...Mr Darcy..Corinne..some others that the names are lost for the moment. Anyway...some of this group (not all) and others that were considered friends managed to put together and publish a book...some more unforgettable memories...

BRITT

I think this may have been around the time that I called you a Stepford Wife? I hope you know by now that I was trying to be funny (although I know you really are one) Seriously...I honestly admire you...you have stood by your beliefs on this site and have defended them when you feel the need...that's what a really "GOOD" Stepford Wife would do....:) Now...get your hand out of the mixing bowl...wipe it on your apron and give me a serious finger :)

I think I may be the P&Q cat here because...there are a few more 'lives' for me to tell....

EDIT

I can't forget to mention my time as a member of The Club. What can I say? You guys are just amazing and I really enjoyed my time there. Do you remember I turned the tables and interviewed a few of you to see if you were a suitable club for me to join? Funny thing is, most of you answered my weird questions, probably because I kept your beer fridge well stocked, so I stayed for a while. Loved sailing on the pirate ship and talking pirate talk with Jane, Abby, Sibs,Jordan and Nicko...Oh Ayre...they were the days. I think Mikey Mike was a member back then...I think TC is the oldest club still running and, well, Mike has been on this site since BC!

Although I'm no longer a member you guys still make me laugh with some of your brilliant posts....fond memories indeed.

When I came back this time around I decided not to join any club and just wing it for a while. Have spoken to a lot of members this way and would like to show appreciation to...

Larry...I remember our contest where you did most of the hard lifting and I just floated around chatting to people...it was a great experience and one that I really enjoyed.

Andrea...I know you do a lot of work in the background of P&Q and, although I forget to tell you, I really do appreciate the time you give up willingly.

Darren...I think you are a very accomplished poet and an extremely good artist....something I don't think you give yourself enough credit for.

Mr Darcy...thanks for checking up on me when I 'disappear' for a while. It's appreciated :)

ddavidd....if you're hiding under some obscure P&Q rock please come out and play ...I really do miss you...well, sometimes anyway lol!!!

The Mods(past and present)...yes, I know it doesn't always appear that way and, I have to kick your asses into place from time to time, but I do appreciate you guys and, I only arc up because I love this site so much.

Danny (Mysterious Charmer) and Frank Maguire were with us in "Standing outside the fire", oh, it was awesome club, I wrote my best poems at that time!

I was a little confused Samia...I remember another club..but maybe it was just a suggestion of a name I put forward...Catch the Wind? ..Mmmm... Yes...you and Danny were members...anyone else that you remember?

I remember a guy named Danny, when i first started out, dunno if its the same person. The first club i joined had people like Temps, Danny, Cassie, bliss, i don't remember who else or the club name though

It also had rania aka sunshine too

That was the correct name of the club, it didn't last long and it was a bit limited, can't really remember anybody else.

Beautiful soul, what was your screen name?