Hey PnQers, another week another set of results! This week we had one judge who was unable to vote due to technical issues with accessing the site, however, they send their apologies and everything should be back on track for next week. We also had the site break a tie between two poems for third place. I also want to add that it's nice to see some new faces gathering those HM's. A big thanks to our judges and of course all of you who continue to nominate poetry.
WINNERS:
On Nostalgia by Senryu: 7 + 10 = 17
Reminiscence by Ms Sunshine: 4 + 10 = 14
Soothsayer by Maher: 10
Cassie (Senryu) by Beautiful Soul: 10
Grain by Karla: 7
Summer Night Solstice (in the park) by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather: 7
Farming Souls by Maple Tree: 7
Shudder by Bozhidar Pangelov: 4 + 4
Hate by Brenda: 4
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Soothsayer by Maher
I like a senryu, I especially like a triple senryu. No need for the apology. The syllable count is correct, there is plenty of dark imagery here and a turn in each senryu. What I like most about these is the tone, real anger coming through for me. I like how they tell such a story with so few words also. Great job (10)
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On Nostalgia by Senryu
I am not a fan of the lower case 'i' detracts slightly from the poem for me. However I love the picture posted along with this and is a perfect fit for this write. This is like a vision of the future for PNQ, rather than the bland wishy-washy colours we have an image alongside a piece of poetry. Nice imagery throughout and stuck well with the theme of the picture. (7)
This is the sort of poem I am able to fall in love with in the morning. I found myself feeling very relaxed while reading this piece, it was the calm tone you were able to present here, it was evident in each and every word. I found myself pondering why you have broken up the word 'To/night', I could not personally find the play on words and so it continues to puzzle me. Perhaps I am just missing something here. I really enjoyed some of your imagery here, the 'knitted you a thousand kites to drape over you' and 'a thousand paper-lanterns will keep you warm'. These lines are the kind that evokes warmth for the reader. I really like the image that you submitted for your final portfolio of writing, it was just another added bonus I found at the end of reading this poem. (10).
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Reminiscence by Ms Sunshine.
nicely done, however I almost didn't vote for this because of the periods and comma's, poetry should flow, this didn't have stagnated thoughts but was running and you should have let it run, it's a terrific piece.....
Neglected spirits that roam
in your head
whenever provoked
by irrational sentiments.
^loved this, even though there was a time when thoughts like these would get you a trip to the looney bin, especially if you expressed them, great insertion, and was the "meat" for me.... (10)
Just love the first stanza. How many times have we looked at empty seats that were once used by a loved one, a space at the table, the favourite chair unoccupied. You have written a very powerful piece here that is stacked with emotion. So many good lines that resonate with your reader. This piece had me thinking which I like and was one of the first I thought of after reading all entries. (4)
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Grain by Karla
you have the potential to make this your signature poem, yes it's that good even as it stands but just a suggestion to make it even greater because it lacked the bang at the end where you changed strides and left the main theme.
we are one and you killed me too.
how many more deaths will be necessary
to bring life back to us?
we are grains:
new possibilities are hidden in the dark.
life will reinvent us
again.
But
we are small
we are afraid......
^it would have been great had you finished or incorporated your theme in this ending. Great job nonetheless, I love it, and you have something awesome here.
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Shudder by Bozhidar Pangelov
I don't know who this person is, but this is truly a delight, actually this is poetry at its finest.
"Hug your knees
and you will hear:
"The life given to us
we lived for different
reasons ..."
^I could have dwelt here for ages, I actually didn't want to leave this little literary island you built with the simplest of words. It made my day, thank you. Very well written.
This writer is new to me and I am extremely glad I stumbled across this poem. While you have chosen simplistic words, your imagery is extremely rich and the thought provoking message is even richer. I enjoyed all of the references to nature, in particularly 'the dusk is meek' and 'winding seashell'. I actually have not heard anyone refer to a seashell in quite that way before. I am looking forward to reading more poetry by you and I am off to visit your account to see what other gems you have shared with us all. (4)
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Cassie (Senryu) by Beautiful Soul
When a writer creates a Senryu,
it has to say more than what the three lines convey, if it doesn't, it tends to fail,
in my opinion.
This poem is a well written Senryu and deserves to be highlighted!
This poem is very emotional- The loss of a loved one- Death is an ache that never fades away;
I dont think I need to say anymore than that, this is a heartbreaking, emotional piece!
I am going to explain in a technical manner, Why this poem is a darn good Senryu!
You need to have at least ONE key word that expresses the main message, but can also go deeper within the message and that word is "Butterflies"
Butterflies are beautiful, such as the life of the precious soul that is written about,
however, You take the analogy of death (being a cocoon) and the spirit then rises as a beautiful butterfly.. life after death. A birthing of reincarnation.. the soul shall live on.
James, this is beautiful, one of my top favorite Senryus! Thank you for posting this! (10)
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Summer Night Solstice (in the park) by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather
One thing I would like to point out: Larry uses words that are not often used, beautiful and mind provoking words- He has led me to the dictionary many times, and I thank him for that.
When a writer creates a nature poem... often times elegant, simplistic words along with visual displays are used, and within this piece Larry goes beyond that.
He details a walk along a nature pathway...He takes grabs the reader and sticks them into a painting and you feel this poem! Just beautiful!!
I am not going on another angle within this powerful and elegant piece.
The calming of spirits, lingering souls in the shadows of possibly a cemetery,
visiting perhaps a grave site- This poem led me on a spiritual and calming, yet sorrowful feeling as well.
When a writer takes you in many directions within the message and adds creative and unique beauty to the poem...Well my friends, you have one heck of a poem!! (7)
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Hate by Brenda
This poem is a powerful Life Poem!
It reads like a political rap/rant and written in a very tasteful way...
You can feel the anger and sadness-
The flow and rhythm is outstanding and with a poem such as this, It has to flow or it fails... broken lines kill the flow and Brenda shocked me this week! The flow was spot on!!
I read this poem and I said, out loud "Damn"
Scream it Woman!!
The message speaks for itself,
Hate is a plague within Society
and it's killing souls of humanity.
Brenda's closing lines tie this explosive poem together.. Wonderful write and well written! (4)
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Farming for Lost Souls by Maple Tree
This poem tugged at my heart strings. It's one thing to imagine our own death, however, it is another to be one of the last people alive out of all of those who you love. I think many of us, including myself, wish that our family would out live us. You have managed to capture a chilling, emotional and nostalgic feeling of being alone, of reminiscing about those we love when they are gone. The way you positioned your wording in certain place was a nice way to capture certain imagery, this was evident in your "rain falls slowly down" and how your words are mimicking what they mean. I loved your reference to ghostly artists and tapping fingers and I am particularly fond of your title. This is a beautiful piece, even in all of it's thought provoking sadness. (7)
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