Would you?

I moved to a new state recently and decided to update my license. For over a decade I have not been a registered organ donor (in the event of my death, my organs would not be donated to those in need), but I decided this time around to do some research before making a decision. Most of my fears were based on false information and I'm registering as an organ donor now. So my first question is: Assuming your country has something similar, are you registered as an organ donor - why or why not? I posted this same question on Facebook, but I'm very interested in what the PnQ community has to say.

Second question(s)... this is a different topic. Still about being a donor, but this time I am curious about donating sperm or eggs. I know this might be considered extremely private to some or most people. There is no pressure to respond. If you're already uncomfortable, read no further.
So here's how this came about... While browsing Craigslist for jobs, I often come across ads for donating eggs. Typically something along the lines of "$500 upfront and at completion of harvesting your eggs, you could earn $10,000 or more." It's entirely legal and the idea is you're helping someone - or someones - create a family because for one reason or another they can't do it on their own. Donating sperm doesn't pay as much, but that's because men produce so many sperm and it's not a lengthy or dangerous process.
One of my close friends is planning to have her eggs harvested soon. She is in a serious relationship with a man, but they don't want children of their own. Now for my questions. Feel free to skip any or all.

1) Would you consider donating your eggs or sperm? Why or why not?
2) Would you tell the new parents that you are okay with them releasing your identity to the child eventually?
3) Would you feel comfortable dating someone knowing they donated eggs or sperm before you started dating?
4) Would you feel comfortable if someone you are dating or to whom you are married decided to donate their eggs or sperm while you are together?
5) If you donated eggs or sperm and then had children of your own, would you tell your children that they may have biological siblings out there somewhere?

As for me, I wouldn't donate because I know I'd feel a desperate longing for my biological children just knowing they're out there. I'd want to have a relationship with them. I'd want to participate in parenting them. I think it's a wonderful thing though if you have it in you to donate and help create families :)

My father essentially passed away because he could not find an organ donor for a kidney transplant. Had Australia adopted an opt-out system (like Canada), he may still be here today.

As a medical scientist I have zero tolerance for anyone who argues otherwise.

Eggs and sperm are not even something I think about as the world is vastly overpopulated and I have no intention of increasing that problem. But for those who aren't as cold-logical as me it does create a platform for a good discussion.

Ether, I took a sociology class on populations and the focus of the class was how sociologists are more concerned with underpopulation than overpopulation. In most countries people are no longer reaching replacement levels, so the population is decreasing in size. For the world to be overpopulated, we would have to exceed the production of adequate resources, but that's not the case. We have more than enough resources and space for everyone in the world to eat plenty and have shelter. People starve and perish from the elements in some parts of the world because resources are not rationed fairly or justly. It's a 'people being selfish and reckless' problem more than a 'too many people' problem. Also, overcrowding versus overpopulation. Cities are dense because people are crazy and will pay ridiculous sums to live in sardine cans so long as it means they get to live in a city. Lol, I'm a country/suburbia fan myself :)

https://www.pop.org/content/debunking-myth-overpopulation

Regarding resources - you would be incorrect there:
https://goo.gl/hlSCcj
In early August we used up a years worth of pre-allocated resources, with 4 months left in the year. Again, perhaps you are right and it is not a matter of we don't have enough resources, rather they are not being used wisely (with war, personal wastage, etc). But if we have exceeded the amount of recourses we have used this year, then by your reasoning we are overpopulated - no?

And the population is certainly not decreasing in size - in certain developed countries (i.e. Italy) they are having major problems with population replacement yes. But globally, the numbers are ever increasing. Thus the Earth is suffering as a consequence of both increased numbers and unwise usage of resources (your main argument which I also agree with). Australia is one of the most wasteful countries in the world and our population is ever increasing, so on behalf of my country I'd like to apologise there.

reason for edit: replaced long link with shorter link so the post doesn't appear buggy on mobile

I'm not sure if they did away with the opt-out system or not, I think it's still in. I'm a bit fuzzy with the details, but I remember signing up to be a donor online, just needed a drivers license number. Some parts of Canada are moving towards an opt-out system, and the topic always pops up every now and then.

Anywho, onto the questions:

1) I'd consider donating my sperm; I'd be helping to bring a child into someone's family, and that's pretty amazing. I wouldn't do it, unless I was personally approached or something along those lines.
2) I wouldn't be okay with it, cause I'd also would have a desire to want to connect with the child, and it can get a bit complicated I guess. I didn't play any part in the child's upbringing and the child would have 1-2 parents that care for them, so would it be necessary for them to meet me and vice versa? It'd be neat, I guess, but I'd be worried about things going awry so uh, no.
3) Yes.
4) Yes.
5) Like my answer in #2, I'm torn. I didn't raise the child so there's no immediate need for them to know about it, but then again it's also be sort of neat for them to know that they have a biological sibling out there.

Also I recall reading somewhere that you can easily fit the entire population in North America with something like 100ft of living space? Or something along those lines, and if Canada had the same population density as Singapore, the population would be something like 39 billion. I'm also going to bring up this infamous infographic since it's relevant: http://brilliantmaps.com/population-circle/

I also recall reading somewhere that 9 billion would be the peak population before we would have to start toying with the concept of a negative global birthing rate. That's assuming things don't change, and we're still going about things in an unsustainable manner. We really need a global shift in truly sustainable living (myself included).

My driver's licence has the box ticked for organ donor...it has been since it became an option here in Australia.

Rather than answer your questions Jane...can I ask some?

You say there are adverts offering $500 dollars upfront for an egg/eggs...what if the egg is fertilized and impregnated only to find further down the track that there is a defect? Could the donor be sued? Is there any form of screening for the donor male or female to see if they have any history of drug/alcohol abuse...any genetic deficiencies...that sort of thing?

BTW...I'm wondering why Ether's post has been moderated???

Check the post again. Senyru included his reason for the edit at the bottom.

I'm off to bed. Will respond tomorrow.

Mmm...maybe he should have said 'reason for moderating' I thought the edit had been made by Ether....just a misunderstanding...no harm done :)

I do believe (and correct me if I'm wrong) that people in USA also used to be paid for donating blood? Of course, that all stopped when HIV came into the picture....that's basically why I'm asking these questions now.

My error on the Canada thing - I was thinking of some European countries that are opt-out. It's been a while since I studied such things, oops

I'm pretty sure it's an opt-out system in British Columbia and maybe Nova Scotia? It's legislated on the provincial side rather than federal since provincial takes care of healthcare (there's federal funding for healthcare, and then the province can either add auxiliary stuff such as a drug plan in BC or not like in Ontario). So you were partially right. Whenever you sign up for a drivers license or health card, they always give you an organ donation form as well, in Ontario though.I think it should be an opt-out system federally though.

Also I edited ether's post just out of the sake of convenience, p&q doesn't deal with line-breaks & long text very well for some reason.

Also someone correct me if I'm wrong, it's still possible to sell your plasma in the states, and I'm pretty sure all of it's tested for stuff like syphilis, HIV and one of the hepatitis strains, anything that can be transmitted via blood. They tell you not to donate if you have HIV or one of the blood-transmitting diseases for the sake of safety, and cost.

I don't think the donor can be sued, I'm sure there are laws similar to good samaritan laws in place to prevent that exact scenario from happening. I'm not sure about drug & alcohol abuse, but I know that they can test for genetic defects prior and during IVF.

I'm an organ donor, have been since I got my license.

I would not harvest my eggs, paid or not. I would not be okay with Jason donating his sperm.

I am going to completely contradict myself here, so maybe that will explain my hard "no", lol. Even though technically biological, egg and sperm donors should have no rights in my eyes. You are giving away your egg or sperm so that someone else may have a child - their child. Usually, you will never know what happens once you sign away and get paid.

But don't children have a right to know their biology? It's so important to know about your own DNA, your makeup, your family history. If these aren't things you know about because of donors (I don't know how much the donor shares? Are they required to? How would the parents handle that information?), you're really setting yourself up for confusion in the future. My family history is riddled with infertility, and I am now a part of that journey. It makes sense, my family has history and I'm adding to it. If no one in my family had any issues and yet I have this genetic fertility issue, can you imagine what that would do? I can't imagine parents being forthright about their kid being conceived through a donation... a lot of people don't tell their children their adopted.

I don't believe we are created to have children for other people. Maybe physically, but our soul does not work that way. Maybe it comes down to my spiritual beliefs here, I'm not sure. But if my journey of infertility has taught me anything (and I feel it's taught me a lot), I don't believe donors are "right". Organ donors, yes, absolutely. Egg and sperm, not so much. This is a sensitive and tricky conversation that has no right or wrong. Anyone who is in disagreement with anything I say, that's okay. I don't think our souls and true emotions can handle something like this long term. My preference, my opinion. Not right, not wrong. :)

I just think it's incredibly important to know our genetics. I just keep thinking about the physical healh, mental health, addictions, generational patterns and cycles (not completely through environment), and I just think there's more risk there than necessary. Witnessing my sister adopting 2 boys, in the process of adopting a baby girl, and fostering a teenager, not knowing a lot of really important genetic factors, it's a rough road. I believe parenting is already a difficult job, and adding to it in this way is SO hard. I'm absolutely not anti adoption, not by any means. Those kiddos are already here and they can't be blamed for that. I'm talking the purposeful pregnancies. I understanding the longing to carry a child in your womb. I totally get it on a level most don't. I just think we've become a world of do it anyway and worry about the reality of consequences later.

Yes i am regestered. Because I've always wanted to help people if i could even beyond the grave

These are the egg donor requirements listed for one business called ConceiveAbilities:

-Between 21-29 years of age
-Have regular monthly periods
-No reproductive disorders or abnormalities
-Physically and emotionally healthy
-BMI under 29 (BMI calculator)
-Non-Nicotine user, Non-smoker, Non-drug user
-Not currently on Depo-Provera
-Willing to undergo medical and psychological evaluation
-Willing to take injectable medication
-Willing to commit to the process for a minimum of 6 months
-Willing and able to respond to communication within 24 hours from ConceiveAbilities and clinic staff
-Excited about the process of helping to build a family

Britt! I'm happy someone responded with an "anti" sperm/egg donor view. I was hoping to get feedback from both ends of the spectrum. I do believe your family/biological history, including medical history, are made available to impending parents. I have several friends who were adopted and their parents told them pretty early on. They have access to their biological parents' medical records. My friend Courtney even carries a picture of her biological mom, but she doesn't have much interest in meeting her. The people who raised her are her parents. That's how she feels. I would assume that when you pay for eggs or sperm from donors, you have even more access to the biological parents' info. But I don't know.

I'd like to pick someone's brain who is not an organ donor by choice. I wasn't one for the last decade. My mom isn't one because she believes in the black market myth lol. Is it weird one of my reasons for not being an organ donor was that I wanted all of my organs in tact in case sometime in the future I'm resurrected? I imagine this distant future where dead organs can be rebuilt through mutating cells or cloning or something and people with all their organs intact will be resurrected. I wrote a letter that I placed in Milo's grave and in it contains my wishes that he and I be brought back to life someday. We non-believers have to get creative! I don't believe in a heaven so I have to invent other ways I can see my loved ones again. Alright, I'm a freak, ignore me.

Britt...you do put up a good argument against egg/sperm donors and I do agree with a lot of what you said. My father-in-law was adopted and this was back in the day when the biological parents were seldom known. This created some problems when my own children came along because I was unable to provide certain medical information relating to him that could affect them. One example that I will give is that they were never vaccinated for whooping cough because, I did not know if there had been a history of some illness (can't remember which one it was now) in the family.

As for donating myself...I'm really unsure...I think it would be easier for me to donate to a stranger rather than a person I knew. I don't think I could not be involved if the child was in the circle I live in.

Glad you started this discussion, Jane. It's not something that's talked about too much or thought about, at least by me...

I don't have much of an opinion on being an organ donor, mostly because when I was asked when I got my license, I said "no" more out of carelessness. I hadn't given time to research and think about the good it could do. I know one time I brought this up with my dad, he pointed out that it is our souls that "ascend", "move on", however you wish to call it... that our bodies are only temples/ vessels. Speaking for a spiritual side, that was a beautiful reminder. I guess I imagined it in my mind as too invasive, and my body wanting to rest in peace.

Wow, Britt. Really good points that leads to avenues I hadn't thought about before. Very enlightening. Will keep reading everyone's replies! Love the perspective and it's definitely educating me too.

These have been thoughtful and complex responses. I have little to offer save that I've been an organ donor in the three states I have lived in, still am. I was once told I cannot donate due to my diabetes, but my doctor says that's poppycock.
I've donated over 5 gallons of blood. Same false issue arose regarding diabetes.

I'm not interested in donating sperm - with over fifty nephews & nieces & great n&n's I see no reason to spread my gene pool beyond my children.

If I did donate, it's theirs, they owe me nothing & would not want to intrude on their relationship with their kid.

If I ever dated again it would not bother me if she had her eggs harvested.

I doubt Rosaura would do so, but I'd support her decision.

I would not bother telling any of my kids unless something were to pop up.

I was once considered too light to give blood...can you imagine that???

If I did donate, it's theirs, they owe me nothing & would not want to intrude on their relationship with their kid.

^^

all fine and dandy Larry but, what if, further down the road the child developed some sort of illness due to your diabetes and the new parents came knocking on your door for some sort of compensation???

So, Poet on the Piano, after reading other people's comments on this thread would you now register as an organ donor?

Also I must stress, registering in most cases simply is not enough. You must discuss with your family or next of kin your wishes, as they ultimately (at least in Australia) have the final say over the fate of your organs. It's not a very light and bright conversation to have, but necessary. And it could save multiple people's lives, like my father's may have been (as I previously mentioned).

My conversation with my family was "I'm an organ donor, make sure it happens or imma haunt you". But yeah, it's a necessary conversation. Thank you for starting this thread.

Hello all.

I am not a donor though I would like to be but think because of health issues I wouldn't able to donate.

1) Would you consider donating your eggs or sperm?
^^
I wouldn't donate my eggs as like you (Jane) I'd be afraid of having that longing for any biological children though me and my sisters always said if any of us couldn't conceive then we would surrogate if the want/need for a child became too much.

2) Would you tell the new parents that you are okay with them releasing your identity to the child eventually?
^^
If I did donate no as they would have brought that child up and I wouldn't want to take anything away from them.

3) Would you feel comfortable dating someone knowing they donated eggs or sperm before you started dating?
^^
Yes, I would as long as they were honest about it from the off.

4) Would you feel comfortable if someone you are dating or to whom you are married decided to donate their eggs or sperm while you are together?
^^
I think I'd feel a bit uncomfortable but I would be happy with them helping out those who cannot have children naturally.

5) If you donated eggs or sperm and then had children of your own, would you tell your children that they may have biological siblings out there somewhere?
^^
Yes.

All the best.

Ether thanks for bringing that up! I had the conversation with my husband shortly after getting married (updating our life insurance policies) and asked if he was a donor, if there was anything he was absolutely against donating (some people are fine with a liver/kidney but don't touch the heart etc), and what his burial wishes (if any) were. He stared at me wide-eyed, haha! It's not something younger people put much thought into, but working in life insurance for years I definitely was a part of/guiding these conversations for other families.

My husband, the turd, wants to be buried (NOT cremated, absolutely against his cremation) at "Jason's Knob" which is an IMPOSSIBLE mountain he killed his first animal on as a teen, lol. I told him sorry, but no. If I'm 80 and burying him, I'm not hiking a mountain...unless it's his trick to kill me off so we can be together quickly again... haha!

I must admit I have thought long and hard about these kinds of things and even got a will at 25 lol. I have stated on their that if I can donate any organs then I will though don't think that's any good being on there.

I have considered the possibility of donating organs before but I opted no to. The first time, because I found out that the family of the donor's are billed by the hospital for removing the organs. (Later, I came to know that doesn't happen everywhere. I'm not sure if that's still happening. I haven't done research).

Another reason, back then, years ago, I also found that it took a long time for the donor's family to received back the rest of the body of the donor. I don't remember how long. But I assumed it was because the family was charged for the bill, and since the family couldn't pay, hospital withheld body.

Since in the event that I were to die, my family would feel devasted (I assumed, it would be good if they don't though,) I do not want to cause more stress, pain, sadness, and extra paper work for my family. Therefore, I opted out.

However, I've been wanting to donate blood. I still haven't been able to gain the weight that I need... hopefully in a few years, one or two or more. The good part (I guess?!) is that I'm getting old so my metabolism is slowling down... In the mean time, I keep reminding myself about food by writing metaphors or similes in some of my poems.

As far as donating sperm or ovules, I would not donate. I would like to be a part of their lives...
I would mind if my boyfriend donates while in a relationship with me. (If he did before he met me, so long as he tells me about it, I'm semi okay) I have the fear of ... Let's say, (as an example), that my boyfriend and I were to get married and have a son, and my boyfriend donated sperm, and somewhere don't know where, there's his daughter, and my son and his daughter fall in love? I just can't...

Also like Britt, the medical family history is important.

Good point, Hellon. Since I'm not interested in donating sperm I have not looked into that issue. However, it would seem to me that disclosure of health issues would be a necessary part of donating. With disclosure comes release of liability.

Rosaura cannot donate blood either because she is so light. On the other hand, I am afraid I will never face that obstacle.

On a side note, I had a client come in for a will package (including a DNR) who was prompted to do so because the hospital would not let his son go even though there was no hope of recovery and there was minimal brain activity. He tells me that they finally allowed his son to go when he, as the father of a minor child, approved his son to be an organ donor. They turned off the machines immediately.
I have no personal knowledge except what he told me but he seemed genuinely harrowed by the episode.

However, it would seem to me that disclosure of health issues would be a necessary part of donating.

^^^^

So what if it was something you couldn't predict like downs syndrome for example. Does anyone think a donor should be held responsible for any medical/special education etc that a special needs child could incur?

Interesting questions all the way around and probably answered according to ones beliefs or misconceptions thereof. As to donors, I think that's up to the individual, some religions teach against it, and yet others view the act of saving a human life as taking precedent over keeping the body intact. Personally, I'm a hypocrite on this subject, I don't believe we should play 'God", but would give anything to save my own child's life.

As for donating eggs or sperm to bless a family with a child. You hear people say, why don't they adopt. Rules and regulations make it a very drawn out and expensive process. Newborns are seldom given to anyone making less than 100,000 unless you adopt straight from the conceiving parent, so therefore you aren't the main influence in the child's early years, and then there's the what if's (parent wanting child back), or wanting to be involved, etc. Also the medical concerns, if your child needs a kidney, blood etc. I don't have any problems with sperm or eggs being donated, they still have to be fertilized. but by the same token to answer the above question, those receiving those services should be held accountable and responsible for going that route. Nobody can predict the outcome of child birth with 100% certainty. I think the applicants are properly screened in this as well. I don't think the donors should have any knowledge as to who used what sperm or eggs, that only complicates matters. Interesting questions though, and some food for thought on the answers.

If I did donate, it's theirs, they owe me nothing & would not want to intrude on their relationship with their kid.

^great answer

I love reading everyone's different responses!

I wasn't an organ donor until recently. I hadn't thought about what my family would feel during that whole process. I just talked to my husband about it and we both are.
Britt, funny that you mention your husband wanting to be buried up a mountain lol. Mine wants a natural burial, (we both do), it seems less complicated than a hike up a mountain. Haha

1) Would you consider donating your eggs or sperm? Why or why not?
- I have considered it. I don't want any kids of my own, but I thought why not be able to help someone fulfill their longing of being a parent?
I love children, I just don't personally want to bring any into this scary world, lol. We've talked about fostering and possibly adopting. My parents adopted 6 of their foster children, ranging from the age of 3-13- they were all siblings and she wanted to keep them together.

Anyway, I'm unable to donate eggs because of my size, heart disease with myself and family, and other issues that may or may not be passed down.

2) Would you tell the new parents that you are okay with them releasing your identity to the child eventually?
- yes, but it wouldn't hurt my feelings if they didn't. I don't think I'd feel that biological connection that some have mentioned on here.

3) Would you feel comfortable dating someone knowing they donated eggs or sperm before you started dating?
- I'd be fine with that

4) Would you feel comfortable if someone you are dating or to whom you are married decided to donate their eggs or sperm while you are together?
- we've talked about it. Neither of us can, lol. We're both too small. There's probably a sign at the clinic that says "you must be this tall to donate". Lol

5) If you donated eggs or sperm and then had children of your own, would you tell your children that they may have biological siblings out there somewhere?
- I'm not sure. I guess if it came up.

Mark, you can donate/sell plasma here in the states. In fact, this woman I know works at a place where they do it. She told me and Tim to go see her so she can pay us $300 for our plasma, but....... we don't weigh enough. Lol

What about surrogacy? How do you all feel about that?
I think that would be harder for me to do than simply just donating eggs.
Would anyone ever consider being a surrogate or having a surrogate mother?

Here's something else I found....interesting.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/05/04/artificial-womb-breakthrough-sparks-row-over-how-long-human-embr/

I wouldn't be able to be a doner for any organs or eggs because of my inherited health conditions. (one of which prevented me from having children) Although later down the line I may need a liver transplant myself. If I was healthy and younger then I would definitely donate both eggs and organs