Weekly Contest Results 11/14/16

  • PnQ Mod Account
    8 years ago

    Late, late, but here at last! Peruse, admire, behold! Here are the contest results.
    Thank you judges and poets for making this all possible yet again.
    My computer was having a lot of trouble with symbols today so hopefully I copied all of the comments/votes over correctly. I know there are weird line breaks in some of the comments and I can't seem to fix it. Let me know privately if you see other mistakes and I'll try to fix them.
    Oh, and thanks to the judge who felt my poem worthy of a comment. Means a lot.

    Best, Jane

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    WINNERS:
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    21 years
    by Poet on the Piano
    Total: 17

    "I will cut right to why I awarded this marvelous piece top marks: purely because stanza three is so beautifully written and such wonderful poetry that it could have been entered by itself and I still would have graded it as highly!
    Don't get me wrong, the rest of the piece is good, too, with all its tragic acceptance of doomed love and the loss of spark for life itself, but stanza three really is special. Very very good." (10)

    "I have read this many times and am caught up in the ardent inner thoughts of this writer. She breathes out a muse of realization into a time where most sleep. Isn't it all too often at this time (2 AM) that thoughts become clear, the fog lifts and barriers come down? The way the writer describes this process and takes the reader on their private personal journey feels almost voyeuristic. Why do we hide our true feeling when we don't trust society to respect them; like, loving an older man. Why should it matter, does not love transcend all barriers? This poems raises these questions and more and that is one of the many reason I like this so much. The description are wonderful. Here are just 5 lines of this superb poem for those who failed to read it:
    I love you, without ever touching those lips.
    Those chords that bloom lilies in your lungs,
    how I haunt your mosaic dreams of cathedrals
    where martyrs and saints dance on pipe organs,
    playing harps into the most quiet, tormented minds.
    ^
    This left me breathless and in awe. I hope the spark returns! Well done, a superb write that I would have on any other week awarded 10 points for." (7)

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    A Verse Full of Love (English sonnet)
    by Ben Pickard
    Tota: 17

    "Does a love poem get any better than when written as an English sonnet? I think not, from its neat form of 14 lines, separated into 3 quatrains and then ending in with a satisfying summarizing couplet. Then there is the sweet musical flow of the iambic meter sprinkled over 5 pentomic beats. There are many other technical requirements for such a sonnet, but this was aptly covered last week by a fellow judge, so I won't bore you. What I will say though, this love poem is expressing with words what 'simple' love cannot. Some people find it difficult to say, 'I love you,' or show this by physical touch. In these cases, what better way than with a 'quill'? Superb sonnet - well done." (10)

    "It's always a pleasure to read a love poem that's written well. I liked the sentiment in this piece. The dilemma is if words are not enough to melt a heart then how can a kiss do? Actually, after reading many times, I came to think that this piece is about a relationship that is experiencing problems. Physical affection is not enough to prove there's love, so in an attempt to convey it, the narrator attempts to show it with words. In other words, this is how I interpret the Sonnet: 'If my kiss is not enough for you to feel my love, at least know, that these, my words, are sincere and that I do love you.' Wonderfully written. The emotions are sweet yet I can't help but feel a bit of sadness." (7)

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    Not a Crayon - Not a Place
    by Rania Moallem
    Total: 14

    "This week's nomination list was filled with many moving pieces. It was tough to choose my top three. However, Rania and her poem, particularly, this stanza:

    Sick of sad songs on war and love,
    peace poems that bruise my hips
    everyone's burdening drama
    that breaks my heart, cracks my ribs...

    And the last lines:

    I refuse to be a convict of my name
    a slave of my skin - prisoner where
    my grandparents have a grave.

    remained in my mind ever since I read the poem. I feel frustration, despair, a bit of anger, sadness... oh my, so many emotions

    The rhymes in the poem don't feel force. The poem itself feels 'raw.' This is a poem I'll find myself coming back to read. Thanks for sharing." (10)

    "This is one of those poems where the words reach out from the screen
    and grabs the reader without mercy. For the writer makes the reader think
    without forcing, without using extensive and expensive words to think. To wonder
    to deeply think and be in awe! It got me hooked from the start to the end. It has
    everything enveloped within it, it has a strong feeling to point out without been harsh.
    This is a poem that will make me want to read again and again and dive further into
    it." (4)

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    HONORABLE MENTIONS:
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    Samobojstwo --tiebreaker poem--
    by Senyru
    Total: 14

    "It was the title that got my attention and I read the poem which made
    me even more intrigued that I googled to see what the title meant. Its
    actually a Polish word and when translated it means suicide.

    The poem started to make more sense to me. The first few verses got me
    a picture of lovers standing on the edge, holding each others hand while looking
    down into the water to make that jump. The description of words and use of
    language was so tasteful yet mysterious.

    The second half of the poem goes back and forth between poetry and writer
    or the writer who is trying to describe this event without loosing the seriousness
    and the weight of the sadness.

    The third verse is so chilling..I feel two were going but one survived and have
    to live with that memory and regrets, that night, sounds and the very imagery of
    watching one go away..

    There is a whole lot more in this poem and behind each line there is a weighty
    issue which will never die...a heart touching write here." (10)

    "The poem felt unfinished as I got closer to the end, yet when I finished reading it, it left me with a sense of nostalgia. . . And wanting and not wanting to know what exactly happened. The title caught my attention. I googled the translation and left me intrigued. The first portion of the poem, has such a vividness. I could visualize the water, and for unknown reasons, I also visualized a teenager, and it made me feel such a sadness. These lines:

    or maybe it was between shallow and deep,
    deep enough to be not shallow, and shallow
    enough to be not deep,

    or maybe it was just water;

    and I jumped.

    the wondering and pondering of whether the water was shallow or not adds mystery. It seems the boy (as what I had picture) left his life to the hands of destiny and just jumped. His fate was decided on whether the water was deep or not. Very intriguing write." (4)

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    Worthlessness
    by Yakari Gabriel

    "This poem holds no punches with verses like 'you take the lessons, but keep in mind that whiteness does to their life something blackness does not do for you.' This poem explores her reality in a brutally honest way, and it's honestly captivating the entire way through. This is a heavy piece that needs to be read by everyone." (10)

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    When the bullets ricochet
    by Poet on the Piano

    "In three little verses, MaryAnne just obliterates your heart. I love the sheer imagery of this piece and how unique & fresh it is. It really resonates with you after reading." (7)

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    Alone (Altered acrostic)
    by Brookie

    "As I read this poem it was more like I was watching the whole scene
    unfolding right in front of my eyes. Its very disturbing as well as heart
    wrenching. When you think you have come to a place to be helped, you
    find yourself stripped off your dignity and left in even more darker jungle
    to deal with your condition.

    A very strong write where emotions are poured into each line and very
    descriptive to the very end of the read! I've seen acrostic poems with just
    a line and this is a first time seeing it in a paragraph. Its gripping and very
    emotional." (7)

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    Aftermath
    by silvershoes

    "Some poetry is beautiful; some poetry is tragic and some poetry tells a story. When it's really good, it can sometimes do all those things. This poem is none of the above.
    Now and again, a poem comes along that is brutal and almost ugly in content and yet is fascinating and cuttingly relevant. This is one of those. It marks a very important time in American history - perhaps world history.
    It is a slap in the face as you read it and I couldn't help but feel that something is very wrong with America when so many of its subjects (in this case, relating to its female citizens) feel this bad about their president elect. Anger and frustration seethe through the page, and when that much emotion is harvested from art by the viewer, something is right about it.
    I like the end, too. When you read it, you think there may be some hope because, after all, the sun will rise again. But then it sort of crumbles once more: not for a long time." (7)

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    To often
    by Criss Taylor

    "This has a lot of potential but one little quarrel that I have with this piece is that To Often should be too often. That said, I really enjoyed the premise of the poem." (4)

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    Heavy Hearts
    by Mayday

    "I found this poem to be a little understated Gem. This may be a reflection of a real experience, perhaps? After all, words written from personal pain sings the purest note. Upon first glance we have a block of text, not too dissimilar to a sonnet. We have a rhyme scheme too, which is a nice touch. Personally, I would have liked to have seen four quatrains. This would have left gaps where a reader could contemplate the words, but more importantly the evoked feelings. The line ''For what is love, if not this heavy?' this resounded with me. Do we admire or seek love that is light, weak or meek? We do not, we want to feel 'tightly held.' Or do we? The trouble with needing love to be 'tight and heavy' is that it can suffocate us without knowing. What do we do when we feel like love is slipping away? We hold on tighter still to the love that is strangling us. Well done." (4)

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    What the Guy thought...
    by Mr Darcy

    "This man never fails to surprise me when reading these short forms. He so consistently squeezes every last wonderful drop out of so little space and always leaves me smirking, smiling, laughing or crying by the end of them.
    This was one of the laughing kinds (unless you're Mr Guy Fawkes) and Mr Darcy's cutting wit shone through wonderfully. Straw hats off to the man!" (4)

  • Larry Chamberlin
    8 years ago

    Jane, you are a goddess! Thank you! Folks I forgot my week to host & Jane took the fall for me. I would claim early onset as an excuse but I'm in full denial stage.

    Congrats to the winners anyway, and to the HMs.

  • Mr. Darcy
    8 years ago

    Well done to all the winning poems and those who collected an honourable mention. Thanks too, to the judges and Janet.

    And Larry, like an Ostrich,

    Keeping ones head warm
    Helped an aging ostrich mind
    Find his best sand hat

  • silvershoes
    8 years ago

    Mr Darcy, not sure if you meant to call me Janet or not, but I laughed. My oldest friend calls me Janet to confuse other people.

    Larry, you've covered for others more than anyone's covered for you, so don't try to use the ol' aging mind trick. We all know you're the sharpest.

  • Mr. Darcy
    8 years ago

    Sorry, Jan. My phone decides my next words. See what I did there? Lol

    Jane. Thanks for hosting and stepping in to help a man across the road.

  • silvershoes
    8 years ago

    Haha, you two are trouble.

  • Golden AnGel Rhapsodist
    8 years ago

    Congrats to y'all...:)

  • Ben Pickard
    8 years ago

    Thank you to the judges for their time and effort and for their lovely comments on my sonnet.
    Well done to the other winners and those who were awarded an hm. More wonderful poetry this week.

    Ben

  • Em
    8 years ago

    Well done all

  • Poet on the Piano
    8 years ago

    Thank you so much for your comments, judges. Congrats to Ben, Rania and all the other wonderful poets! Appreciate it. Thank you Jane for posting :)

  • Hellon
    8 years ago

    ^^^

    Such a cute little dog!!!! I can almost hear it woof woofing congrats to you all :)

  • hiraeth
    8 years ago

    Thank you for the comments (:

    Congrats to all those who picked up a HM or a Win, and thank you judges for all your hard work andd Jane for posting.

  • abracadabra
    8 years ago

    Just checking to see if my poem is a winner. Isn't. Good. I have a habit of having my rubbish poems win when other stellars like 'Morning Fart' and 'CONDOM' are left withering in the dust. Glad the cycle is broken and the judges were not just attracted to my red skirt yet again in this instance. Good.
    (Must find new outfit.)

  • Hellon
    8 years ago

    Don't change you red skirt just yet Abby...your poem is still a contender this week :)

  • Poet on the Piano
    8 years ago

    Go, Abby!

    And Baxter howls back a "thank you", Hellon ;)