Weekly Contest Results 2016-Dec-05

Women's inner experiences drew the judges this week. War zone horrors of being burned alive invade her dreams in Thelma's second win with Prisoner. Karla pens a tribute to the silent suffering goddess. Yaki forlornly declares that she literally wears her home and intimates what that says of her.

Front Page:
Prisoner by Thelma - 10 + 7 + 7 = 24 points
Ni Una Menos by Karla - 10 + 4 = 14 points
The house I live in by Yakari Gabriel - 10 + 4 = 14 points

Honorable mentions:
Blizzards by Aegis - 10 points
Grace Of Our Ages by William Mae - 10 points
How this love binds (Italian Sonnet) by Everlasting - 4 + 4 = 8 points
The White Horse by ddavidd -7 points
Oh Buttermilk Sky by Maple Tree 7 points
She is the Star, The Winter, Land & The One by Naughtymouse - 7 points
Ride The Comet, Despite All That ( English sonnet ) by Ben Pickard - 4 points

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Prisoner by Thelma 10 points
The imagery of a person on fire is perhaps the most horrific of all. The poem starts with this nightmare, creating shock and repulsion; grabbing the reader right in. This description finally comes to an end with screams of death. I found myself needing to breathe as the words were that powerful.
Then comes the context. The writer wears this awful scene like a cloak, portraying the pain so we too can understand. I especially like the introduction of the finch. A sweet little bird who brings soothing reality back; reminding us that nature (life) goes on despite this terrible tragedy.

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Prisoner by Thema - 7 points
This haunting poem was an assault to my sympathetic nervous system. It quickened my breath and my heartbeat, then brought release, albeit a miserable one.
The stanzas with short lines and clever enjambment were effective in evoking a feeling of panic, and the unclouded language amplified the harshness of the content. The longer lines told "to the side" created intrigue and unmistakable foreboding - a simple detail that personalizes and creates a keystone for the poem.
The finch detail creates an effective contrast against the darkness, allowing for the slight release in the last stanza. It made me inhale deeply right there. Very powerful.

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Prisoner by Thelma 7 points
What a piece of thrilling written art. This is beyond sadness. The writer here took me to levels that exceed drama and effects, the images and feelings are hurtful.
I could imagine everything in tiny details and clinch my eyes a bit on the unpleasant scenes and emotions. What a way to capture the reader by heart.
Very sad piece, very appealing though. The word choice was nailed.

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The house I live in by Yakari Gabriel - 4 points
I love the sparsity in this poem, it really reinforces the emptiness and loneliness depicted.
The metaphor and its repetition are thankfully simple and, for the most part, they work. The first stanza is slightly clunky (and metaphors within metaphors tend to get a bit fraught) and the second becomes too literal for the rest of it, but they are just building up to the third stanza, which is gold.
The house is waiting, the poet's heart is waiting, this poem itself is waiting.
An effortless write.

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The house I live in by Yakari Gabriel 10 points
Mesmerizing. I had a lump in my throat reaching the last words of this piece. It's very vivid and realistic more than it should, which is awesome. I felt attached to the emotions and settings, somehow it brought make feelings of insecurity and loneliness.
It's just so sad and honest. The house represented more than walls and structure. Anything could be the house, starting from the heart and soul.
A very deeply-felt poem.

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Ni Una Menos by Karla - 10 points
This author is just so comfortable with words. They are her friends but also her humble servants, easily aligning themselves at her will. What a bold poem this is. The subject matter is completely at odds with the unapologetic tone of the poem, effectively setting it on fire.
The first line held more and more significance each time I read the poem (and it warrants much rereading). A woman is not a woman until she is not any of those descriptions listed in the poem. There are so many things here that women - across cultures, across social status, across time - can relate to. Going into it is heartbreaking.
The last two stanzas speak so much in so little. They speak of the incredible courage and resistance that every woman has displayed throughout history - but they don't idolize these qualities, instead dismissing them for a much more important issue: the necessity for women to have such strength in the first place.
Congratulations on a wonderful write, Karla.

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Ni Una Menos by Karla 4 points
The direct tone in the lead is interesting; this woman, is not a woman,...then the expansion in descriptions and adjectives start building this character in the eye of the reader which made me sympathize with her.
The descriptions are so interesting; as though there is this Icon-Lady, with a very strong yet very fragile frame. I fell in love with the character itself if I had to be honest regarding what mattered the most for me in this piece.
This was painful:

"I was told you misconfused her
for a piece of furniture."

There is nothing more fatal than the feeling of being neglected and underestimated, or even being unseen in the 1st place as thought one does not matter.
Such a heartfelt piece.

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Blizzards by Aegis - 10 points
I will preface this by saying that three or four poems could have taken my ten points this week, but sometimes you come across a poem that speaks to you.
As dark as this write is, with its veins tired and lacking energy (enervated - what a wonderful word) and the blood in them 'liquid nitrogen', there is a certain charm to this little write that really captured me. The imagery throughout is simply excellent.
Like Mary's poem last week (which is similar in layout) this may benefit from being centered, but it's a great little piece of poetry. (10 points)

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Grace Of Our Ages by William Mae - 10 points
This is a story poem that creatively employs the concepts of Evolution and Reincarnation to emphasize how "real and eternal" his love for his significant other feels. At first glance, the poem may seem long and off-putting, but while reading it, the rhythm and rhymes make this piece a delight to read. Very well done. ( 10 points )

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How this love binds (Italian Sonnet) by Everlasting - 4 points
The sonnet form is one that when written well will not distract the reader with its complexity; rather it will deliver its intended message derived from an arguement, observation, or some other answerable question. The form for the Italian sonnet are two stanzas, an octave (8 lines) followed by a sestet (6 lines). In the first stanza the observation is placed: Surely love should be earth shattering, fill you with butterflies and lullabies of sweet love.
The Volta or turn happens in line 8 with the word 'yet': Although this love does none of the above,, it does hold a, 'heavenly' love a 'peace' that is built on sturdy enduring footings; a lasting love that binds.
The only stumbling area I found was I line 7. The iambic beat is slightly off here. I found omitting the 'i' from the 'was i' tidies this up and brings the syllable count to ten.
Overall, this sonnet hit a sweet spot for me. It captured love that's not Shakespearean, more a love that is achievable for everyone. A sonnet that keeps it real.

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How This Love Binds [Italian Sonnet] by Everlasting - 4 points
I will get my minor issues with this out of the way first (and there aren't many). Firstly, the meter in this sonnet is not always perfect, not least in the third line of the second quatrain - quite possibly because there is eleven syllables here when (technically) there should be ten and that alone disrupts the iambic pentameter.
Anyway, sonnets are extremely hard to write and rarely gain the credit they should on this site. Italian sonnets are arguably the hardest to compose. Everlasting does so really well here, but keeps a strong theme present throughout: what is love exactly? Is it the heat of the initial passion or the calming, soothing effect that she seems to have found here? Personally, I would think the latter as passion is superficial whereas inner peace and happiness are altogether more significant feelings. (4 points)

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The White Horse by Ddavidd - 7 points
Once in a blue moon, you come across a poem like this one. There's not much to say about it, other than to just read the poem and allow it to capture you with its rich imagery and splendor. The visual is astounding. It makes one dream of seeing that "White Horse of Justice" gallop throughout the world but also that more of these white horses would exists so that more people would ride them and treat them with love. Great use of metaphorical display and symbolism. ( 7 points )

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Oh Buttermilk Sky by Maple Tree 7 points
Bereavement cries on each and every line of this tribute. Poetry gifts the writer a way to heal through expression, but also a way to share their grief to help others.
Nature holds messages for us, and here the shrouded sun rises, delivering another angel. The sky is beautifully described, 'buttermilk' a mix of light and dark and very apt here. A transition from one existence to another. The roses add to the symbolism and sombre imagery of the piece. The beauty of the rose leaving a lasting memory of her beauty while her music Plays through the rain and tears.
A wonderful and fitting tribute.

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She is the Star, The Winter, Land & The One by Naughtymouse - 7 points
Well, this poem deserves praise for having, arguably, the longest title in P&Q history! In all honesty, I find it a touch overlong but that shouldn't detract from this man's effortless ability to conjure marvelous imagery and beautiful poetry, especially in the Love category.
The penultimate stanza adds a little extra to this write, for me anyway: Yes, she is all of these wonderful things, but the author still has to fight himself to adore her, fearful as he is of a fall. But he wants to, and that's the wonder of true love. (7 points)

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Ride The Comet, Despite All That ( English sonnet ) by Ben Pickard - 4 points
I read the message of the sonnet as "Go for it, even if it seems impossible. It's worthy". A very creative piece of writing filled with wonderful imagery. The things one do for love, doesn't it? ( 4 points )

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Congratulations for the front page, ladies and to the HMs for inspiring works.

Congratulations!

Superb work everyone, a wonderful week of poetry.
Thanks, Larry, judges, and well done to the winners and all those collected an honourable mention. Bravo.

Congratulations to all the front page winners and the HM'so, wonderful, wonderful writes all around!

Thanks to all the participant party.

Thank you judges for your time, effort and my hm and congratulations to the winners and fellow hms.

Ben

Congratulations everyone

Thank you Judge, thank you, thank you

Thanks judges for hosting.
Thanks Larry for posting.

Well done and congratulations all weekly winners and HMs, as Michael said a great week of poetry. I am honoured to be alongside some wonderful writers.

Thanks everyone involved.
Thanks for the Hms, for nominating my poem, for hosting the weekly, and for making this contest possible.

Congrats winners.

Well done winners and thankyou judges for your time and hard work.

Congrats everybaadddyy

also, it really amazes me how much people can take out of poetry, the poem was not a metaphor at all, it was literally about the house.

omg

Wow, amazing week everyone. Stunning writes.

Congrats all!

Thanks judges. Ni Una Menos is a tribute to Lucia Perez - a sixteen year old girl from Argentina who was doped, raped, tortured and killed. Ni Una Menos is also a slogan, a cry against femicides and a demonstration which took place all over South America. it started in Argentina and took the streets of many countries. you can read more here:
.https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/oct/19/the-guardian-view-on-niunamenos-challenging-misogyny-and

thanks again judges. i hope many people can be aware of what happens in South America.
congrats HM's.

Powerful poems! Go PnQ :)

Thank you Larry for posting and gratitude toward all the judges.

Thank you Karla for bringing attention to that. It really is a shame, just how deprived people can get.

Congrats to all the winners & HMs. Thank you judges for your all your work, and thank you Larry for posting!