Weekly Winners Results - December 19th

What a week of judging this has been! All the poems were
at a tie and each one of them beautifully penned to
capture our judges' hearts! Congratulations Anna Banasiak
a fairly new member in this site, Maple Tree and ddavid.
Congrats to all our HM's too and thank you judges for
all your time and patience to make this weekly contest
possible. Without further delay here are the comments:

WINNERS:

Infinity by Anna Banasiak

A Drug Addict's Christmas by Maple Tree

You're Remembered by ddavid

Infinity by Anna Banasiak

A delicate and mesmerizing little write takes my third
vote this week. I loved the idea of being a 'drop of time in
a gust of eternity' (lovely poetry here) but also the cold
sort of reality there is to this piece: that this is what we
are and even if we spend our whole lives 'looking for the truth in the music of things', we are unlikely to find it,
given how little time we have to us. Well done.
(4 points)

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Infinity by Anna Banasiak

I have and will read this piece many times. The words
flow so effortlessly, painting this writer's version of,
'infinity'. The simile of a 'drop of time' is a good one.
The idea that one life could be just a mere drop in the
vast expanse of time, really caught my imagination.
From this vantage point the universe rushes by, whilst
within the droplet it stills/slows, allowing for surveillance.
I could see eternity's 'gust' and the musical elements;
the inspiration between life's knots. All this ability to
search for, you tell me? Well, whatever each reader wants
to take from this fine poem. Perhaps, love,
happiness, freedom, or just a personal truth? (7 points)

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A Drug Addict's Christmas by Maple Tree

I do not have an enormous amount to say about this
piece other that it is expertly written and made me -
and others I hope - feel rather guilty about the lavish
things we throw at each other at this time of year with
barely a thought for those less fortunate than ourselves.

'cravings
seep within a spiny frame
as she sings acidic lullabies-'

^^

This is wonderful. (10 points)

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A Drug Addict's Christmas by Maple Tree

Sadness is bringing the best out of poets this week.
This poem is very powerful.

The writer tackled a matter that is very sensitive and
truthful. Many people live in these words and in the theme
of this poem, but in reality.

A very raw poem, with well chosen words. Maybe it's
true that Christmas is not happy for everyone, and fails
to bring comfort to all homes.

Thanks for sharing, well done. (7 points)

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You're Remembered by ddavidd -

Fearless, dramatic writing. I feel that English is a
secondary language for this author, and this only adds
to the eloquence and abandon in his writing style, and
the interesting way his words are woven. This piece
holds much truth, and much grief. I was moved. (4 points)

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You're Remembered by ddavidd

Such a powerful sad piece. This was nothing like
typical mourning poems. There is so much power,
sadness, truth, maturity and emotions in this piece that
I was shaken by it.

I am both in love and at loss of words reading this.
Death conquers us all. We can do everything about
anything, it's only death and pain which we can do
nothing about.

Sometimes death, indeed brings relief.

The closing line nailed the poem. I am deeply deeply
touched by this poem. A very beautiful piece, not because
of it's mourning theme, but because of the beauty and
depth of its word choice. (10 points)

HONORABLE MENTION:

Kitten in the Clock by ddavidd

Saving Christmas by Mr. Darcy

I'm under the bed by Maple Tree

Winter doldrums by Brenda

Soliloquy (Etheree) by Jamie

How Cruel the Cacti by Ben Pickard

Even the Badgers Found It Strange by Ben Pickard

Atrophy by Aegis

Kitten in the Clock by ddavidd

This one was a fun and enjoyable piece. Ddavidd's way
of making time be a kitten was cute. I don't get tired
of reading this piece. I can visualize the kitten running
after herself. Well done (4 points)
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Saving Christmas by Mr. Darcy

A Sestina is a beauty and it requires a lot skill to write
one. It's a tough form to compose; so tough, that I have
to say, that so far, the best sestina that I have read up
to date, it's one from Elizabeth Bishop. However, I feel
that Mr. Darcy, with a lot more practice, has the possibility
of writing an even better one. His ability to weave a story
of how a family saved Santa left me feeling content.
Christmas has been saved! Well done. (7 points)

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I'm under the bed by Maple Tree

This is one poem that remained in my thoughts after
having read it once. The voice in the poem sounds
genuine. The narrator speaks straightforward yet
still manages to speak between the lines.The poem as
a whole comes off as meditative or as a self analysis.
The scenario painted in my mind is one of a bedroom.
The atmosphere is somber. The addition of "cracks on
walls" helps add to the obscure imagery as well as the
lines:

"I altered my life in exchange for burdens"

"These monsters under my bed"

"I've become cryptic in verse"

"And if I spoke of Jesus you would mark me as Lucifer himself"

Mapple, left me without words. Specially, with her ending:

"So I hide under the covers and wait for someone to see
if I'm awake."

I found this piece of poetic writing to be obscure and
filled with droplets of sadness. Great poem. Keep writing. (10 points)

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Winter doldrums by Brenda

This is the second poem I've voted for today with rather
an oppressive feel to it, but I have to say, I related to
it entirely. The idea of spinning 'a cocoon' for ourselves
and trying to sluggishly fight through the gloomy days -
all the while trying to catch up on those 'backlogged
tasks' - is something I'm sure many of us here can relate
to.

Brenda has expressed these feeling clearly and
concisely with some solid imagery thrown in for good
measure. I particularly liked the line: "Not unlike trying
to capture a moonbeam". Like most of this lady's
poems, they relate a story that we come away from
feeling we have read something of importance. (7 points)

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Winter doldrums by Brenda

Loved the title. Powerful and coherent poem. Many
people could relate to this poem.

Though there is a very personal touch between the
lines, however, that doesn't deny how easily one
can connect to the thoughts reflected here.

The descriptions are vivid and deep and creative.

This was my favorite:

rudely trying to roust me
from the cocoon I've spun,
in hopes of staying there until spring-

And your closing line made me nod my head, I really
like this piece a lot. It's simply different. Keep writing
such poems.

These are dark days indeed...

^indeed. (4 points)

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Even The Badgers Found It Strange by Ben Pickard

I like that this whole poem focuses on a single feeling
and explores it so well, with crisp and sensory imagery.
Our lives are a collection of observations, most of which
are forgotten, but the author thought to take note of this
rapidly-becoming-more-frequent anomaly in the seasons,
and offered it to us with a magnifying glass.

Whether the content is metaphorical or not remains
unclear, and that is another winning aspect to it, as there
are few things worse than labored metaphors in poetry.
The writing should shine alone. It appears that this author
is a fan of the classic style of poetry - something that is
not always well-executed nowadays - but this poem
definitely put me in the mood for opening some old copies
of Keats and Shelley. (10 points)

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How Cruel the Cacti by Ben Pickard

The imagery in this piece transported me to the
depicted desert. I felt the 'sweltering' heat and the
unrelenting, difficult environment. Using the desert as a metaphor for a difficult relationship/ time is a good one.
I like the 'dandelion heart' too - like a seed on the wind
only to be cruelly caught by the cacti. Here we have a
seed thrown together with ambiguity. This 'ambiguity is
a loaded word, basically it means vague, but I am sure it
means a lot more besides. The final stanza sums up the
piece well. If this thing doesn't work, then fate (wayside)
may deliver a loves bloom yet.

There is much to by analyzed and appreciated here,
from the metaphors, to the tapered stanzas, alliteration
and word usage. To say I liked this would be an
understatement. (10 points)

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Soliloquy (Etheree) by Jamie

It was refreshing to see an Etheree nominated. This
neat form is versatile, in that you can write about
whatever, as long as you follow the rules. From
Shadow poetry: "The poetry form, Etheree, consists of
10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables. Etheree
can also be reversed and written 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."

The form is correct, so this is the first hurdle, but not
the most difficult. It is (to me mind) making the poem
mean something. The first word, 'wind' is evocative, it
creates a tension from the first line - not bad with one
syllable. The next line adds 'chimes' to wind, creating
the sound and image of wind chimes. Again, this is
evocative, add this to them singing, you have beauty in
two lines only. This sound creates 'adoration' from the
melodies external and internal, but then the poem
changes, like the wind, the melody is not free. It is
'shackled' from past 'nightmares' this depicts pain, fear
and heightened anxiety. Why, well love and its ability
to create scars that just don't heal. So although love is
'tempting' it is turned down, leaving the writer to
'dance alone'

This is a poem worth reading carefully, as there is
much contained in such a confined space. (4 points)

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Atrophy by Aegis

I voted for this last week and it's still here and I'm still
in love with Lines 3-5. See my comment from last week.
I think I mentioned Brautigan about 13 times. (7 points)

Spot on judge!

Congrats all!

Great choices. I also liked the HMs. Thanks, judges & thanks Meena for hosting.

Thank you very much for my hms and the time taken to comment on them and an enormous congratulations to the wonderful winning pieces this week.

Ben

Thank you to all, especially the judge who commented on my poem. Congratulations to the winning poems and fellow HM's.

Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's. Thank you judges for your kind and in depth comments on my write. Thank you Meena for hosting.

Thank you so much Meena, judges, maple tree, everlasting.
Also thanks for the nice comments.

Hugs you Mr Swan !!!!

Thank you judges for the lovely comments and congratulations to everyone

Sorry i've been sick as a dog, Congratulations guys these poems are ALL amazing this week!!! just fantastic!!

pnq rocks \m/

By the way, this gentleman: Naughtymouse, would make a fantastic judge. I saw the depth of his intelligence in a comment on the Maple trees poem he wrote.
from: Word of Honest

Congrats to all the Winners cheers !