Weekly Contest results 25-26 December 2016

  • Larry Chamberlin
    7 years ago

    Merry Christmas Mark, Yaki & Aegis! The judges put a gift in each of your stockings yesterday as reward for short poems from each of you. Mark's observation that not all relationships are based on merging mutual nourishment, Yaki's forewarning, fretful concern about revealing the human-animal underneath and recently returned member Aegis' immersion in lunacy all grace the front page today.

    Front Page
    Another quick write by Senyru 10+10+7+4= 27 points
    Chameleon by Yakari Gabriel 10+7= 17 points
    Delirium by Aegis - 4+4+7 = 15 points

    Honorable Mentions
    I'm Under the Bed by Maple Tree 10 points
    Silent Laments of a Queen by Meena 10 points
    Oh, Christmas Tree... (concrete) by Mr Darcy 7 points
    My Angel, Version 2016 by Tara 7 points
    Broken Song by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist 4 points
    Blackhole (Acrostic) by Jessica 4 points

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    Another quick write by Senyru 10 points
    Firstly, I have to say that anyone reading this delicate little piece should follow the link that Senyru has provided and read the poem as it's obviously supposed to be read. Coupled with the beautiful visual that is provided (which this site obviously doesn't cater for) the write is magnified tenfold.
    As one of the comments on the page points out, though, as much as said visual raises the poem, it isn't the essence of it necessarily. One could survive without the other, but they thrive together...something it seems the two involved in this sad tale never quite managed to do.
    Beautiful writing.
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    Another quick write by Senyru 10 points
    Another great piece. These writings are so deep, they make you feel, imaging and think.
    I love the feeling that moved inside y heart upon rereading this piece with the attached photo.
    I just can't make up my mind and (heart) if this should make me really sad or really impressed, as a reader I mean.
    Very creative, really talented...thank you for sharing.
    Everything could be inevitable but best when it comes to love, no matter what the outcome is.
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    Another quick write by Senyru 7 points
    I read this quick write a couple of times, and I like it very much. The idea of connecting with other people just out of necessity (perhaps for the need of affection) came to mind. Specially with the mention of the word "not out of inosculation". When I read that line, the word destiny came to mind. Perhaps, in this piece, no one was ever meant to be together, but one party, was willing to defy the destiny and be together with that someone.
    The yearn for warmth was too strong. This desire was enough to make one touch someone else's roots despite not belonging to an ecosystem.
    Different cultures come to mind with that line (we were never an ecosystem). If on the other hand, the line was "we never became an ecosystem", I would have been sad and assume the relationship did not work out.
    Thinking about it, this situation tends to happen. People even of different ethnic backgrounds come together just to keep each other company and not necessarily out of Love and passion but hey! they somehow manage to make a relationship work.
    Interesting write. Quick writes are usually thought provoking. Thanks for sharing.
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    Another quick write by Senyru - 4 points
    I love me a deep forestry poem. This poem had everyone running for their Google dictionaries, so well done for raising vocab. A poem should only contain one difficult word, and it should be placed with care. I think this poem achieved this for the sake of the metaphor, which itself is not entirely unique, but is conveyed well.
    I reckon get rid of the dash on the first line, and either the brackets or 'but'.

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    Chameleon by Yakari Gabriel - 10 points
    Argh, this is good. Out of all the poems this week, this piece was the only one that got me, that punched me, that made me feel "yes! that feeling! ugh, it's not just me!" Honest, raw and vivid. The ending is brutal in its truth.
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    Chameleon by Yakari Gabriel 7 points
    I just love the title.
    We all read things differently, sometimes a poet means something but readers take it out of context, but that's the joy of poetry!
    However I saw the combination here between the Chameleon and the character in the poem very strong from my own perspective, from changing color to the other changing character...
    I might be wrong but the way I received it, very smart and creative.
    Apart from that, it's a very lovely piece this week. I love the way you ended it was forceful in a polite way.

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    Delirium by Aegis - 7 points
    A lovely bit of old fashioned lunar lunacy, well written, evocative and quirky.
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    Delirium by Aegis 4 points
    This poem is one of those that is, both visual and meaningful. I like the word 'moon' at the top of the page, its solemn bright face leaking 'drops' of 'madness'. It is well known that a full moon can bring on mental health issues. Now, I'm not talking Werewolf madness, more like, the wearing effect of day to day life becoming a strain; like a fraying rope releasing a weight of madness into an ocean. Gradually as the rope strands snap the feeling of going under/ drowning, or being released, floating away.
    The space given before the word 'drowning' works well in offering the reader a sense of going under, or jumping off into water. Then to finish the word 'floating' right spaced across to show a person drifting off; like a mind slowly going crazy/ drifting away from sanity, perhaps?
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    Delirium By Aegis 4 points
    An interesting way of describing and attempting to make the reader feel what delirium is about.

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    I'm Under the Bed by Maple Tree 10 points
    The title creates an image straight away: A scared child hiding beneath a bed, who naively thinks that safety comes in the form of a restricted space away from unseen eyes.
    The writer then opens with a statement, one which is loaded with meaning: An altered life could be a marriage perhaps, and this could be where the 'burdens' lay and represent no 'peace' instead the opposite, grief and anxiety to say the least.
    The mention of 'cracks on walls' could be the passing time and the lines of worry that compound, internalize and act like a slow poison/ infection; causing the host to feel unwell - losing the 'essence' of who they are?
    The rest of this 'cryptic' poem is hard to read, not for its content, but for its harsh reality. It speaks of a hard life; one where a mask is needed, tears are shed and on-going support no longer feels as helpful. Where does one go when all roads are blocked? Where does one retreat when 'truth' no longer holds a key? Jesus is one solution, but maybe there is more pretense to be had? No, back to a 'fail-safe', back to the safe confines of 'beneath the bed' - not literally, but a place back in time, stored deep within memories, beneath covers; back to a time before, "burdens
    that bare no witness to peace" here a person can pretend, for a while at least...

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    Silent Laments of a Queen by Meena 10 points
    This was a good narrative piece. Meena managed to personify a forest. She gave life to one of the trees and name her the Queen, but not only that, she also captured the happiness that surrounded her with all her children and eldest, plus she managed to weave some tragic into the story.
    Overall, Meena delivered a story about the chopping of trees and tried to showcase the anguish and frustration this tree experiences by not being able to do anything for her loved ones.

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    My Angel, Version 2016 by Tara 7 points
    I do not know of sadness deeper than that of a mother losing her child. This poem is one of deep sadness and despite the child passing 5 years ago, the pain is evident. Pain like this does not ebb away; each day that is lived, each anniversary reached is still tarnished. How can happiness be a reality when a mother is without her child?
    This poem is primarily written in rhyming couplets. The rhyme is pleasant, which helps to create a sweet voice of love through the sad descriptions. It is easy to imagine ending a life, if one knew for sure that this would reunite loved ones. But, this writer, is not saying this, instead, saying that if the knowledge of an afterlife was confirmed this one would help. I will leave the last four aching lines:
    My baby.
    My angel.
    My love.
    My light

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    Oh, Christmas Tree... (concrete) by Mr Darcy 7 points
    I think I should point out right from the off that concrete - or shape - poems are too often dismissed as simplistic by those without an ounce of fun in their 'academic' bodies. This form of poetry can, when done well, be a joy to behold and should still be a joy to read as well. To clarify that, the visuals should never detract from the content which still needs to be good.
    Mr Darcy has succeeded with both of the above, in my opinion. He has - with the very little scope that this site provides - conjured a wonderful Christmas tree and written a lovely little tale about one that is lowly and ignored but ends up being sprinkled with fairy dust and achieving the height of heights - 'looking over the Christmas shoppers in Times Square'. The piece is also dusted with some lovely rhyming throughout. A wonderful, seasonal and fun piece of poetry.

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    Broken Song by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist 4 points
    In truth, I may not have chosen this poem in my top three but for a comment by another judge about ddavidd's work last week. They pointed out that, considering they felt English was not his first language, the piece of writing they voted for was all the more eloquent because of this.
    That struck me, actually, because I had felt that myself about others' work before. The language/rhyming/spelling etc may not always be perfect, but they are writing in a language not native to themselves! This alone is worthy of points, in my humble opinion.
    Golden AnGel Rhapsodist does the same here, anyway. She weaves some wonderful imagery into a sad tale and has herself a fine piece of poetry at the end. It isn't always perfect, and the rhyming is a little forced at times, but it is written with guile and greater potential than most could achieve - including those who hold English as their first language. Well done indeed on this.

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    Blackhole (Acrostic) by Jessica 4 points
    I love successful Acrostics, this one is deep and flawless.
    It also had this flowing tone, words didn't seem forced to fit line\word counts.
    As much as this piece is dark, as much as it's also flowing on the surface with emotions and authenticity.
    Sometimes when we reading something very honest, it touches us to the core, and this was one of those raw poems.
    Well done.

  • Brenda
    7 years ago

    Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! Wonderful writes all around!

  • Jamie
    7 years ago

    Congratulations!

  • Yakari Gabriel
    7 years ago

    Dying at the intro!

    lmao,,,

    hugs and kisses to everybody!

  • Mr. Darcy
    7 years ago

    Thank you so much to the judge who commented on my poem, it really made my day!

    Well done everyone else, winners, fellow HM's, Larry and of course the judges. *pulls a party popper*

  • Everlasting
    7 years ago

    Michael... why did you have to pull me here?

    But since now I'm here, Congrats everyone.

    Oops, my bad I read party pooper

  • Golden AnGel Rhapsodist
    7 years ago

    Thank you so much judges for the helpful and challenging comment...hahaha ... because of this I will improve my writing bit by bit. .hi hi hi. ..

    For the winners and HMs congratulations to you guys

    thank you so much. .

  • Em
    7 years ago

    Congratulations all, these poems are getting better and better each week.

  • Ben Pickard
    7 years ago

    Well done to all the winners and hms; another wonderful week of poetry.

    All the best,

    Ben

  • ddavidd
    7 years ago

    Congratulation to the winners and A.M.s.
    Thanks to the judges.

  • Meena Krish
    7 years ago

    Congratulations Front Page Winners and HM's!

    Thank you judges for your time and thank you judge for the HM!

  • BlueJay
    7 years ago

    Congrats on the fantastic writes this week!

  • Naughtymouse
    7 years ago

    I thought i had already commented on this thread!

    Congrats everyone on another week of amazing poems i hope you are all having a good break!

  • Poet on the Piano
    7 years ago

    Congrats, everyone! Hope you all are enjoying the holidays. Peace be with you all <3

    Thank you Larry and the judges!