Weekly Contest Results - January 2nd, 2017

Happy new years! Without further ado, here are the results!

Winners:

The Park at Night by Larry Chamberlin (24 pts: 4 pts + 10 pts + 10 pts)
3 hours by Rania Moallem (17 pts: 10 pts + 7 pts)
Ordinarily Extraordinary by Naughtymouse (17 pts: 7 pts + 10 pts)

HMs:

Sixteen to twenty, 2016 by Butterfly (10 pts)
Christmas Choice (Shakespearean sonnet) by Mr Darcy (4 pts + 4 pts)
At Least I Went Down Fighting by Ben Pickard (7 pts)
She loves me not by Maher (7 pts)
My Angel, Version 2016 by Tara (7 pts)
All the Broken Hearts by Ddavidd (4 pts)

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The Park at Night by Larry Chamberlin

What an absolute masterpiece. Such imagery, such quality and coherence. I really am in love with this poem.

It's very different from both what others usually writer and what this writer himself pens down.

I almost saw every stanza in a separate picture in my head.

I actually saw myself wandering there in the dark and examining each and every phrase live.

Wonderful writing. Suburb.

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Parks, we all live near them, walked through them, or simply have driven past them. What I haven't seen much of though, is a poem on here dedicated to them, or at least a poet's feelings of (his) one.

During the day, the park is vibrant with human activity, sounds, nylon colours and selfish whims. However, at night the park reclaims its hidden gems: nature. Yes, it's when the human influence disappears that nature can roam, reclaim and be free. This is where (for me) the poem comes to life. The alliteration and description lifts and suddenly I am immersed, glimpsing the owl, hearing the feral cats and smiling at the quirky Siamese going for an evening stroll. It's funny how cats don't like to be left out!

The scene plays out 'the owl and the pussycat', the owl finding another (safer) perch to hunt from, his shadow smudging the under cloud. Bats flit in a half lit sky feeding on insect and (human) pests. I like the term for their feeding as 'scrubbing' this really conjures up their fliting, feeding so well.

The conclusion verse is true. Without the human 'heat' this captured scene would be lost, or at least the poet's personal interpretation of it. It's like a photograph, if you look at someone else's, you may well like, it but a photo taken by yourself has attached memories/ feelings to you only.
A poem like this, however breaths life, and an emotional viewpoint that can be shared to all that take the time to read it. Thank you for sharing. (4 pts)

This is an absolutely refreshing write, the unique perspective of the poem has captivated my attention and satisfied me thoroughly. It's a testament to how poets view the world in a brilliant manner. I can see a pixar movie being made out of this. (10 pts)

3 hours by Rania Moallem (17 pts: 10 pts + 7 pts)

I like that even though I cannot relate to the content, that I was able to feel a part of it. The rhymes scattered throughout the poem also took my attention. I found myself semi-singing - rather, giving it more stress whenever I read a rhyme. It was pretty cool in my opinion.
I feel the poem is pretty straightforward yet that it still has room for ambiguity.
Rania managed to write a poem drenched in anguish while still distilling a smell of acceptance. She sees the situation with a positive light and tries to overcome the hurt she feels.

Well written. ( 10 points)

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I'm not even sure what to say. This poem resonates with me a lot; Rania manages to channel her emotions into a beautiful bittersweet poem that merges brevity and imagery flawlessly. You can feel each of the emotions she feels vividly. (7 pts)

Ordinarily Extraordinary by Naughtymouse

From the admiration of his lady's feminine qualities: "...that signature swing to her hips" to the more benign and yet more important admiration of the 'tiny wrinkles of concentration on her brow as she thumbs the leaves from recto to verso', this poem speaks volumes of the poet's love.
It is when we can look at our partners in the most 'ordinary' of scenarios and see something so overwhelmingly beautiful and 'extraordinary' that we know we are hopelessly smitten!
A simple but fascinating read that charmed me completely. (7 points)

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An 'ordinary' moment captured in time is something a poet creates. Let's face it; it's their bread and butter. Here we see a lady walk across the room, sit down and start to read, sitting across from... well, that is left for the reader to muse.
A moment written this way is nothing much to sing about, but in the hands of a poet, no, more than this, a poet in love; the moment is then backlit, and splashed with emotional paint so every nuance is harnessed, loved and captured for all time, creating a timeless, 'extraordinary' tapestry. The writer then continues his study, her concentration lines, the position of her feet - I enjoyed this detail. I especially liked the clever word play:" recto to verso" not only does this Latin sound fresh and smart, it lifts the poem. From wiki "on the right side of the page" and "on the turned side of the page", respectively. The lady apparently unaware of such scrutiny is what makes this piece perfect. Beauty is best when blessed on the unaware. Then to finish the write, like a bookend, the reference to reading a person like a book is mentioned. It is said that, to love someone is to know see their true heart. Here the poet through his love sees her heart and knows his heart has found its home. After all, there is no place like home. (10 pts)

Sixteen to twenty, 2016 by butterfly

It's lovely to see butterfly return to writing with this wonderfully raw, honest and reflective piece of poetry about the trials and tribulations of growing up (in this case, from the age of sixteen to twenty).

There is so much to adore about this poem; it just hit such a nerve as I read it. The rhyming and everything else are good but that's not where the charm of this write lies - it's purely in the human element of it. Here we have a lady who - on the brink of motherhood - seems to understand and accept humanity in all its many guises and has taken strength and maturity from all of her experiences...be them good or bad. Wonderful. (10 points)

Christmas Choice (Shakespearean sonnet) by Mr Darcy

I have commented before how difficult sonnets are to write (I wouldn't even know where to begin) although I do know what's expected of them.

This one is written in perfect iambic pentameter which, in itself, is no easy feat but it also adheres to the other many rules required.

This one reminded me of Shakespeare's sonnet 18 in that we have the author holding up his lady to a special time of year and making a comparison and finally coming to the romantic conclusion that there is none: Shakespeare decided his muse was 'more lovely and more temperate' than summer itself, while Mr Darcy decides that there isn't a Christmas light that could match his lady's rays. Beautifully penned sonnet that is a credit to the site. (4 points)

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Michael wrote a Sonnet! Structure and technique wise is well done. Content is emotive. If there was no more Christmas, there's still be that girl who can make him feel like it is and fill him with light. Well done. ( 4 points )

At Least I Went Down Fighting by Ben Pickard

There is something to be said in a cliche, like: "at least I went down fighting" It is about 'not giving in when the odds are against you.' It's about 'saving face', perhaps? I like to think that, if one tries hard, then, if the goal is not reached, the journey would at least have been 'just as rewarding' as the prize itself.

The poem starts off describing a woeful time; a time where he feels like an 'underdog' or perhaps, that 'luck is not on his side.' The verse (in fact the whole poem) is full of choice words that scream to be spoken aloud. The alliteration and internal rhyme is superb - a joy to read and to hear. I advise anyone to have a go.

The poem continues with the same intensity, a battle of wills; 'confidence against defeatism', perhaps? How does one climb when the ground is mud and life pulls and pushes like a gale? It is enough to make the journey feel impossible.

Like any good story, true or fiction there comes a point (we hope) where stars align and progress is made. I like the link word 'but' and here it's a needed one for this story to be a good one. The simile of a 'chrysalis' is an apt; from a caterpillar existence to a butterfly there is visionary hope, right? Wrong, this poet gifts this colourful promise, only to dash it with 'blasted bits of ice'. A neat twist of a tale here, but there is more here; if the caterpillar is broken, then so is the butterfly and although beautiful, it too is flawed and so will struggle. Struggle, yes, but it will continue fighting to the last.

She loves me not by Maher

Maher greeted us with a personification poem about Mother Nature. His word choice and format left me reading again and again without getting tired. It's like a narrative song. Great job. ( 7 points )

My Angel, Version 2016 by Tara

Heart-breaking. I am at loss at identifying my emotions regarding this poem. There is so much grief and sadness. It's a very bitter piece.

I could see the character and her suffering, in one place.

Cold and lonely.

Death is the only power which can defeats the mightiest creature. It breaks our spine...

There is one like which hit me hard the most;

You're still here with me all night and all day,
But I open my eyes and they take you away.

^^It's like when you wake up you realize that the baby is gone, it's not there, you're just puzzled and shocked...this is very emotional.

This poem broke my heart with it's expressions. I am honestly deeply touched.

Bless you..stay strong. (7 pts)

All the Broken Hearts by Ddavidd

Sad poems this week are just so powerful.

I love how the title addressed all the broken hearts, not your broken heart, yet the lead of the poem reflected very personal twist to it.

the fact that the writer sees himself as all the broken hearts is heart-aching.

so much metaphors, so much misery and disappointment. Poems like this, makes me feel how sadness makes its way into our mind and soul, to come out again in the form of a beautiful poem.

A favorite piece. Well done, keep writing.

No More Pain by Debi Baker (4 pts)

The loss of a loved one is tough, a loss of a daughter is even tougher. Debi conveyed her angst and sorrow in a concise piece that is truly powerful. Thank you for sharing.

Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's this week! So much amazing talent on this site!

Amazing work everyone, thanks a lot for these comments, I did not see that coming, deeeeply appreciated.

What a great way to start off the new year! Congrats everyone! Lovely works, and I love the diversity we've got going on lately!

Congrats to all and happy new year

Well done to the winners and fellow hms. Thanks also to the judge for their time on my poem.

Ben

Thanks for the comments (and the Front Page) judges. That is the longest comment on one of my poems that I think I've ever read - very touching and appreciated.

Congrats to Rania and Ben. Rania's poem is so heartbreaking and yet restorative! I've already noted how Zen-like is Ben's poem.
Congrats to the HMs as well. Thanks Judges & Thanks, Mark, for hosting.

Thanks judges for hosting and posting.

Well done to all winners and HMs fantastic work

Well done all! I've never really paid much attention to what happens after I post my work up, but now I know lol. Thank you for taking the time to read and give feedback. Happy new year all :)

Congratulations

Well done all; a real top drawer line up this week. Absolutely spiffing!

As for the comments on my poem, I applaud them both; especially the one that offers praise, such as " Beautifully penned sonnet that is a credit to the site."

Well, tickle my toes till Tuesday, I'm darn goshed blown up with pride, so much so, I might just pop like an overexcited balloon.

Bravo, all. :D

Thankyou guys so much im on vacation so have just seen this, well done winners and hms and thankyou as always judges, pnq rocks \m/

Thanks for the nice comment and the hard works of everybody involved.

Fabulous work guys and gals, well done

Only saw this now, thank you so much for the amazing feedback guys!!! This really just made my day even brighter than it already has been so far!! Big love to you all.