January 9th, 2017 Weekly Contest Winners

*trumpets playing* and this week's winners aree

Winners:
The Maid O' the Loch (Colloquial) by Hellon (10 pts + 7pts + 7 pts)
On Driftwood Sands by NightFlyer (10 pts + 10 pts)
Old Cemetery Road by Maple Tree (10 pts)

HMs:
Broken Throne by Aegis (10 pts)
An Orange Man by Everlasting (4 pts + 4 pts)
Benediction of Righteous Fury by Kakera (7 pts)
My Tears are not enough by Ben Pickard (7 pts)
A waste of a Tree (senryu) by Hellon (7 pts)
The Night Club by Maple Tree (4 pts)
Senseless Killings of War by Ben Pickard (4 pts)
The Old Sea Dog Lectures by Mr. Darcy (4 pts)

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Comments:

The Maid O' the Loch (Colloquial) by Hellon
"What a fun poem to read, unlike anything I've read before. I was captivated. Even without '(colloquial)' in the title, it's easy to piece together the colloquialism is intentional and vital to the poem's feeling. The poet took a risk, and I can't help but admire her for it. She's earned a 10 from me with this piece." (10 pts)
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You really cannot beat a, girl meats boy love story. When a writer then submerges the audience with a Gallic accent, it lifts the story up a notch. Then situate said story in Scotland, with all its evocative scenery and you have cinematic experience voiced over by: http://www.voiceovers.co.uk/rennie.griffiths perhaps?

The colloquial language may put a few readers off, but I positively encourage them to read and amerce themselves in this old Scottish highlands dialect.

I was there, by the 'dank an murky' loch, witnessing this 'maid wae auburn hair' with 'fair o' face' - there she wails, or is that the wind whistling off the mountains? I cried along with her; for she would never love again. This man could not recognise the strength and loyalty in one who could only ever love once - her love causing so much pain that she took her life. As I walked away from the banks, I noticed ' a blue ribbon' tied to a 'brig' - perhaps, this was hers? We can never know... (7 pts)
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Aw, this was such fun to read 'aloud' in my head. Wonderful rhythm, rhyme etc and a wonderful gift of traditional storytelling - the sort that passes down through generations. The tragedy level was just right. Quite satisfactory, except a green ribbon would have looked better on that auburn hair. Get with it, lassie. (7 pts)

On Driftwood Sands by NightFlyer
I had never heard of 'Sanibel' so I looked it up. To me it looks like a perfect place to relax, enjoy the nature and of course collect some of the beautiful coloured shells. Sanibel is a small idyllic island, just a walk along a convenient causeway from Florida.

I liked the poetical term, 'golden moon' this simile for warm, bright nurturing love, just like the sun/ moon, giving life to us humans. This light though is moonlight, shedding needed its' gift to those that like to walk and witness the 'magic of the shore'
This poem is sad, for it speaks of past love; love that is held within the chest, but its mate is no longer of this Earth. However, in memories, and in song she lives on. Whenever poetry is written and/or words are sung, love is with her again, shared once more beneath the 'golden moon' where eternally they dance and sing.

Super write that choked me up as I read each verse. (10 pts)
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I love how sincere this piece sounds. I have read this one a couple of times, and every time I do, Nightflyer words sink a little deeper in my heart. The heartfelt emotion accompanied by the imagery plus the sincerity found in the words as well as the narrative ( and let's not forget the meter and rhymes ) makes this poem the top of my three chosen ones. Thanks for sharing. There's a lot of skill placed on this piece. ( 10 points)

Old Cemetery Road by Maple Tree (10 pts)

The poem broke my heart. It broke my heart even more when I reached the note and reread it. Knowing what kind of a relation you and your husband embrace, made this even deeper.

There is life to cemeteries and you gave the place a whole new concept.

Love gives birth to abandonment and abandoned people, it makes anything possible.

The wording and the structure are a spot on, the emotions and behind-story is mesmerizing.

Such an elegant piece of love and sadness and poetry. My favorite poem this week. (10 pts)

Broken Throne by Aegis
I like a poem that can be taken in several different ways, both in the imagination and in the heart. For instance, from these few words, I pictured a medieval ruler, thwarted by his own foolishness, living his last days in a bed that is also his prison, listening to the sounds of his enemies with a heaving ribcage, rasping breaths, the works. Or, the poem could be an entire metaphor for some other kind of dethroning - from a relationship, from a job, anything.

The voice is very natural, and this delivery looks deceptively simple but contains much expression. It is resigned, ironic, nostalgic, regretful, frustrated, bitter. It works on almost any level the reader wants to take it. Works pretty well for me. (10 pts)

An Orange Man by Everlasting
The very 1st and main reason why I loved this piece and chose to highlight it, was because it is a great example how poets are so different from other people who can't write poetry.

It just shows how a poet's mind functions, everything inspires you, you see things differently and anything could turn into a poem...

Absolutely brilliant, I imagined every single verse, I cannot believe you made me feel sympathized with an orange.

I honestly feel like this is a very valuable piece of poetry that should be mentored to students.

I want my kids to read this poem one day. (4 pts)
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"I have to credit this poem for its originality. The structure and content are foreign, in a good way. I found myself staring at the completed poem -- its appearance -- for a minute after I finished reading the words. Very cool!" (4 pts)

Benediction of Righteous Fury by Kakera
"To be honest, I often skip over long poems unless they grab my attention in the first few lines. Even then, my eyes skim past certain lines. I'm a one time sub-judge, nobody freak :) Anyway, this poem grabbed me. I don't know why exactly, but I felt instantly interested to read further. I'm happy I read it in its entirety, no lines skipped. Kakera has crafted a coherent, magnificent story. I was enthralled. I am also impressed to read such a lengthy poem with no mistakes. Perfect punctuation is a lovely thing. Well done. I will be googling some of your characters to learn more about them." (7 pts)

My Tears are not enough by Ben Pickard

I read this poem a couple of times, and the more I read it, the more I saw quality in it, but also the more I felt that something is missing. I wish to figure out what it is so I can say it. I am unsure if I have this feeling due to reading it many times or if in essence it misses something. However, this poem remains one of my top three. I like the imagery and how the story "easily" comes together while the narrator gives the poem some room for mystery. Well done. (7 points)

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"I wish I had an extra vote to give because this poem is deserving. I fell in love with 4 poems this week, which is painful as a judge. Ben has mastered rhyming and flow so beautifully, it's a joy to read his work. As I'm reading, I find myself wondering sometimes, "how is he going to pull this one off?" Yet he does every time. A very talented poet. Props, Ben." (HM)

A waste of a Tree (senryu) by Hellon
Such a little deep rich piece.

I truly love Senryus that are well thought of, especially those that use common easy words yet leave great impact and hold thought provoking messages behind.

I saw this in different and by different perspectives. I found this piece smart and poetic.

- Hats off for the writer. ( 4pts)

The Night Club by Maple Tree
The title 'Night club' speaks volumes in itself. What is a nightclub? Basically, a large darkened hall, filled predominantly with 20 - 40 year olds, slowly getting drunk on overpriced (watered down) alcohol, unable to talk to one another, many of them only wanting one thing, meaningless sex.

In these modern dance halls, there are predators; mainly men, who prowl with 'darkened hearts', hearts that feel only selfish feelings, certainly not those of love for others. As they scour (panther-like) the crowds, their senses (thorns) quickly discard lesser prey, e.g. those who may put up a fight, i.e. those who have a voice. Then, there in a corner, a shy girl, her (so called) friends have left her unguarded. Perfect meat for the Panther!

I presume this Poet would recognises such a predator? Such 'cat' using his 'lines' would stand out a mile. You would hear the 'false syllables' and know they were from an 'emotionless' trap.

Just a little point of note: In the line penultimate line, the word 'to' needs to be 'too'

This is a wonderful little piece, full of rich imagery. (4 pts)

Senseless Killings of War by Ben Pickard
Arrgh. Aaaaaaarrgrh. Horrific nightmare of a poem. Bloody and brutal and bold, the only way to portray such truth. Don't want to read it again, but giving this poem points for impact, for making me so uncomfortable, which means it has precisely served the author's purpose. However, the pun in the title (if intended) kind of cheapened the severity for me. (4 pts)

The Old Sea Dog Lectures by Mr. Darcy

This piece and a few others were fighting for the four points. I had to give it to this one due to the ending couplet. Those lines remained in my mind since I read this Sonnet. I also (for once) liked that the content is a tad cryptic because every time I read it, I got a little something extra. However, preference wise, I, as a reader, would prefer when the content is clearer. Other than that, I enjoyed this piece. (4 points)

Wow, judges I love your comments this week and I really hope you know how appreciative this week's poets will be!

As for you poets, great works and very well deserved wins and mentions! Awesome, awesome week!

Congratulations to the winners, and thank you judges for your great work

Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's-awesome writes all around. Judges, loved the comments-

"I honestly feel like this is a very valuable piece of poetry that should be mentored to students."

^ thank you for your comment judge.

Congrats winners and hms.

Well done to the winners and other hms and thank you once again to the judges for their valuable time.

I'm gobsmacked that both of my poems got noticed this week so first of all thanks to the members who nominated them. Judges..you have surprised me with you comments on Maid O' the Loch, I did not expect anyone to even understand this poem...I admit, I've underestimated you all so, sorry :) I only posted this after a conversation with Ben Pickard regarding the Scottish poet Robert Burns...

I think I may have read it out in Vocaroo at one point...can't remember now?

Congrats to the other winners and hms.

I love that your poem won, Hellon.

Thanks Jane...I have a few others posted on a Scottish website...Frank McGuire is also on there...do you remember him? He was the best rhymer this site (p&q I mean) ever had...I can give you the link if you're interested.

Hellon, I wondered if that conversation had anything to do with it. Well done, anyway; it's a fantastic piece.

Congrats all!

Congrats ALL! Hellon, I'd like that link, why not post it here in case others would like it.

Thanks, judges & Mark.

Http://www.scotlands-enchanting-kingdom.com/scottish-poetry.html

There you go Larry. Unfortunately you only see the title of the poem and don't see the author until you click on the title. I think I have 5 posted, not sure how many Frank has, neither of us are active on the site now and we kinda lost touch after he left P&Q.