Weekly Contest Winners - January 23, 2017

This week we had a variety of poems nominated. While we had three clear winners, it's obvious that the judges were all divided on who they gave their 10 to. Congratulation to Britt, Mark and Anna for their win this week, lovely poems. Well done to the HM's and a big thank you to our judges. I hope you've all had a fantastic weekend and everyone is doing well.

** Note: One judge is still working on their comments and will get these to me as soon as possible and I will update this thread.

WINNERS:
Shock by Britt: 7 + 4 = 11
The Fall by Hiraeth: 7 + 10= 17
The Dancer by Anna Banasiak: 4 + 4 + 7 + 4 = 19

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HM's:
Ianuarius by Cassie hughes: 10
If I Sleep, Will You Stay? By Ben Pickard: 10
Dancer Encircling the Edge by Larry Chamberlin: 10
And Froze by Ben Pickard: 10
Cuticles at Rainbow's End by Ben Pickard: 7
Beauty by Brenda: 7
Rooms of Past Selves, a Poem Left Behind by Larry Chamberlin: 4

COMMENTS:

And Froze by Ben Pickard

Um, wtf. It's not fair that Ben Pickard can sneeze out stunning sonnets in the morning and fart out fantastic free verse in the afternoon. It's simply not done.

This is a pretty masterful example of showing without telling, of how a careful selection of detail can depict a much larger, deeper story. There is space. It allows the reader to paint the whole picture, make it their own. Every word, and there are few, is precise and well placed. Quite beautiful. (10 points)

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Ianuarius by Cassie hughes

From the clever title (the first month of the Roman calendar) to the content itself, I have to be honest and say that I have read no better poem this year; it's a marvellous write.
I think what drew me to it, ultimately, was the fact that I myself am partial to a bit of wallowing in the colder months but what right do I have? After all, there is so much beauty in these colder times - more subtle, perhaps, but beautiful nevertheless.
I have had a just telling off, then, and I like poems that make me question myself.
I advise everyone to give this lovely poem a read; it's how free verse should be written - poetically - and it's done with great dexterity. (10 points)

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Dancer Encircling the Edge by Larry Chamberlin

This poem has given me so many emotions and provoked so many thoughts and so many images.

I took this both literally and metaphorically.

It's very beautiful and very sad, the word choice are cozy and inter-related.

For instance I felt as though it's the dancers spirit floating in the sky. Just beautiful and sad.

Very coherent and the best thing about this piece is its flaw. (10 points)

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Shock. by Britt

Britt has a real knack with short little pieces; she draws the reader in, like a moth to a flame, and before you know it, you are consumed with only your dishevelled embers flung out again! She packs a real emotional punch.
I could almost feel the water freezing my vitals while reading this, as unfortunate as that may sound. The imagery is wonderful.

The end is a little ambiguous and there is nothing wrong with that at all. I also love poetry that leaves something for the reader to chew on. Is she annoyed with herself for not being able to help this icy soul her partner has to navigate? He has seen it, he has suffered it, perhaps, but what is she supposed to do? Fixing our souls is no easy task, let alone when we have others to care and worry for. (7 points)

Full points for the tone, it is feels genuine and unfiltered, the description is quite effective and I love the flat delivery of the last two lines. (4 points)

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The Dancer by Anna Banasiak

Recently, I've found myself drawn more and more to short pieces of poetry. Surely, it's a marvellous talent to be able to move, educate (sometimes) and create beauty in a few short lines? Like painting with only the primary colours - being able to mix everything we need with very little...

Although we all like to think of ourselves as all important entities, we really are only shadows 'dancing in the emptiness'. A philosophical write that I enjoyed. (4 points)

This poem maybe compact, but there is much for the reader to extract.

Like a grain of sand on a planet full of sand dunes, or a drop or water dancing, like a shadow amongst thousands of others upon a frosty forest floor.

The self-awareness in this poem is humbling. It shows me, this reader how small we actually are; a mere speck of dust in a cloud of soot.

Here we sit reading this - one human set of eyes, in a town, in a state, in a country, in a world full of billions of eyes. Now, think of these planets revolving around the sun in our solar system, others in our galaxy full of billions of stars, within millions of galaxies, containing countless solar systems, in a universe of trillions upon trillions of stars. Feeling small? Feeling insignificant?

Well, this poem speaks of a sense of sadness on that scale, loneliness perhaps, that resounds around this infinite universe of possibilities and yet, somehow, feels like, nothing other than the dance; the dance of one life in a universe of dances, a dance alone in a room so incredibly full. (4 points)

I'm a sucker for poems like these, which try to grasp at the ephemeral, the tragedy and miracle and beauty of all of life. Poems have been written like this before, in countless ways, but here is yet another human relating the drop to the cosmos and each time it happens, my heart sings along. The writing feels a bit stilted and stunted, but of course it is very hard to express these feelings otherwise, and all I want to say is: I get it too. I so do. You should read my poems, baby. It's hopeless, and I love it. Best wishes from a fellow shadow dancing in the emptiness. (7 points)

A magical little piece of sparks and beauty and darkness and truth. It's a complex mixture.

A drop .... in cosmos
river of time
I'm ...a shadow... dancing in the emptiness

These words form 90 % of this little piece and they are simply mesmerizing.

The writer is blessed with a very sharp and beautiful imagination.

It reflects some insignificance and sadness within each line, yet shows consistency and continuity.

This little piece, is life in few lines. (7 points)

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The Fall
By Hiraeth

A sonata is a piece of composed music, played rather than sung. I can hear the weeping, wailing sound of 'cured' violin strings being agitated; perhaps like the emotions in a relationship?

I have often appreciated the sound of this instrument. To me, it has an, eerie voice-like quality; like crying at the edge of forever, when emotional extremes directly attach to the tears evaporating off fraying heart strings. Glenn Gould, a Canadian pianist once said, if he could be any key, he would be F minor, because "it's rather dour, halfway between complex and stable, between upright and lascivious, between gray and highly tinted...There is a certain obliqueness." Wikipedia

As the 'sonata' slowly moves forward, the emotional layers build, marbling and finding their way to hidden 'mausoleums'. It's true that music can reveal our true feelings - it's not just the notes played, but the arm that pulls that bow, the tremor in those fingers plucking on knowing strings and more so knowing ears that offer more than any physician could ever hope to find.

When we hear this song, our hearts cry, whilst our heads try to intellectualise another reason; another possible cause for this sound, this set of circumstances, but the truth is simple, the sonata will in its own sweet honeyed way bleed out in F-minor, until all that is left is rose-hips. (7 points)

Too bad I am not familiar with musical instruments and notes; Otherwise, this piece would have had a greater impact on me. I found myself searching for the meaning of some words in order to familiarize myself with them and be able to appreciate the poem's meaning. However, I still haven't grasp the meaning of the content in its entirety. What I like about this piece though, it's that even though the reader can't fully comprehend the poem, the poem still manages to capture the reader with its flowing, romantic, imagistic, and I dare say dramatic tone and atmosphere. It pushes the reader (at least myself) to search for definitions without feeling force to do so. It becomes a pleasure. I don't get tired of reading it. Another interesting thing is that Lindsey Stirling came to mind after finishing reading. It may have been attributed to this line:

"Take the bow to your throat
and play your song"

Mark has a gift with words and an incredible ability to create ambiance within his poems and this piece is not the exception. Thanks for sharing. Amazing poem. (10 points)
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If I Sleep, Will You Stay?
Ben Pickard

There was a time when words just were, well, words. They followed each other without too much notice. Now, though, they are more that words, they are rhythmic and melodic; words that flow along like dancers upon an icy pond. Out with one skate, then in with the other, creating smooth curved lines - well, these lines are as pleasing as the meter within this piece.

The syllable count alternates, roughly 8, then 6. The meter sounds iambic, but then, I could be wrong. However, when reading it through, it sounds sublime and out of place on a 'free' poetry website. It would be fair to say that I feel, lucky to be reading a poem of this quality.

What is the poem about I hear you ask...

Well, A house is more that bricks and mortar; it is a home full of memories, the older the home, the more memories it holds. This particular home holds memories that the writer would rather not retain. Those "shouts and screams in eerie dreams Still plague my nights the most" could easily be deleted, but of course, they linger, like, "The dust that floats between life's seams still teases me with ghosts"

What can one do when the 'ghost' linger in the house you dwell - well, submit to them and hope that in dreams, they will be, once again, alive, leaving any and all nightmares behind. (10 points)

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Beauty by Brenda

What a beautiful and warm poem.

They say, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. How lucky are those who can see beauty in everything..and how honest.

There is so much dedication and authenticity.

I cannot decide which was my favorite, as every stanza reflected its own emotions and sentiments.

Overall, this is an amazing reminder for us all living in these touch circumstances which we are witnessing.

Thanks for sharing. (7 points)

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Cuticles at the Rainbow's End by Ben Pickard

What an interesting piece of poetry. It's filled with a peculiar imagery of someone digging. When I finished reading, hardwork came to mind but also the words "never giving up". And it's true, treasures are usually buried, and in order to find them and hold them and have them, one must dig and dig often too deep. It requires a lot of hardwork that'll ultimately may or may not pay off but it usually pays off. Well done. (7 points)

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Room of Past Selves, a Poem Left Behind by Larry Chamberlin

The poem way of starting reminded me of one of Edgar Allan Poe, "The Raven." It may have been due to the words bleary and eerie as well as some of the troichee words. It created a good rhythm. I won't go and dwelve in the content because I feel that is best for others to go and read the poem themselves. It's an enjoyable read.
(4 points)

Congrats

Congratulations all.

Judges as all thanks for hosting

Biggest compliment ever to hear my tone was genuine. <3 Thanks, judge(s)!

Thanks all for your hard work making this contest run so smooth!! I appreciate you all!

Congratulations to all the front page winners and the HM's. Thank you judges for your lovely comments on my write. I greatly appreciate this. Beautiful work everybody!

Congrats to the Front pagers!
Thanks judges and thanks Mel for hosting.

I love the comment on Dancer, thank you judge!
Can't wait to read the comment on Rooms.

Comments have been added, thanks for your patience everyone!

Congratulations to the winners and fellow hms.

Thank you very much to the judges for their time in regards to my poems and a particular thanks to that rather colourful comment on "And Froze" - it did make me laugh, somewhat!

Congrats Winners and HM's!

Thank you judges for your time and thanks for hosting Mel :)

Thank you judges! Congrats to all the other winners & HMs. Thank you Mel for hosting!