Weekly Contest Results March 26

Good Morning Everyone!
Hope you all are well. Let me first say a big thank you to the judges
for their time and effort which they put in week after week. Congrats to
our front page winners- Aegis (who also got a HM for his poem Someday),
and Ben P!! Well done and congrats to all the HM’s on their lovely and
heartfelt writes. I would also like to thank the judges for their uplifting
comments on my poem…much appreciated!

WINNERS:

Broken Beats on Empty Streets by Aegis

A Splintered Intermezzo by Ben Pickard

Evening Fury by Meena Krish

Broken Beats on Empty Streets by Aegis - 10 points

It actually took me the second time reading through this poem to realize there was internal
rhyme going on here which makes this piece all the more impressive.

The rhyming - both internal and line-ending - flows freely and without force. The language,
mostly simple, tells the story it’s meant to tell. And the poet does a nice job alluding to Greek
mythology with the nod to Sisyphus’s eternal punishment -

“and now like Sisyphus I’m bound
by the hell that you left behind.”

Excellent write from a poet who has really impressed of late and who I’m excited to read more from!
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A Splintered Intermezzo by Ben Pickard - 7 points

I sometimes wonder if Ben was born human, or only became human after emerging from
within the pages of a thesaurus eloquent and imaginative.

As he does so often, Ben blends beautiful language with beautiful images in this piece - “the
maudlin moon”, “intermezzo … throughout the opera house”. Coloring the heart as mahogany and
not your typical reds was a nice touch as well. His ability to so easily shift between more complex
language and the simple does a wonderful job of drawing the reader in.

No matter the topic, no matter how sad nor tragic, or even down the path of dreary and dark,
I think Ben would be able to make even the most unpoetic soul see something winsome and
captivating with his words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A splintered Intermezzo by Ben Pickard - 10 points

A very intense short piece, well written, with some good lines there that I wish that I had
written!
'collapsed while the first intermezzo still resounded throughout the opera house'
'and now the rain rests between the splinters'

What great lines!

The poem seems to be written by the Poet who perhaps has some classical music knowledge,
as it describes 'intermezzo', which had me reaching out for Google, where it tells me that 'it's a
piece of music that is played in-between two opera pieces', and 'carbonic acid', which are words
also classical music related, so I'm thinking that the Grand piano must of collapsed during the
playing of this intermezzo, ripping out its wooden mahogany 'heart' (perhaps the up righted lid or
maybe the wooden piano levers inside!), the splintered pieces now left on the stage (a stage outside
in a park??), where the rain now rests between these splinters??'
I probably got it all wrong but whatever, it is an excellent constructed poem, with great imagery
throughout and each line skillfully constructed. This write well deserves a place in this
competition.
~~~~~~~~~~~

A Splintered Intermezzo by Ben Pickard - 4 points

A lovely strong poem which has depth and clarity. Good word selection which adds strength
and imagery. A strong title and ending to a concise and well written poem. If I have one criticism it’s
the gap between the first few lines, which for me hindered the flow a little, but other than that great
work.
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Evening Fury by Meena Krish - 4 points

To open, I really appreciated the structure of this poem. The brief reprieves - the elliptical phrases -
allowed a moment to not only catch one’s breath before entering key elements of the poem, but
also an opportunity to consider what is to come. How does the writer know how she much she means
to the subject? What are we going to see next?

And in the end, we are left hanging much the same - where have these two gone, what are they
doing now? I just wanted there to be more because everything before the ending and the ending
itself were so well-written.

“when you
soaked yourself into my lips
leaving a memory…”

A beautiful ending to a very strong poem. Truly wonderful work!
~~~~~~~~~

Evening Fury by Meena Krish - 7 points

A strong raw poem full of emotion. Great word usage and well-paced. The poem flows well
and gathers strength as it carries you along, culminating in a lovely finish which for me is the
strongest stanza. I must admit to being distracted by the use of “because’ between the first two
stanza’s which isn’t really necessary I think, but it’s a minor criticism in an otherwise great poem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evening Fury by Meena - 10 points

This reminds me of everything nice that has ever been said about poetry.

One of the most elegant and beautiful piece I've read in a while.

There is beauty and tune from the very 1st word to the very last.

The wording and combination of words is really appealing and brought a smile to my face. I could
see eyes sparkling in love and trust.

Wonderful poem. My favorite.

HM

Born in a Cosmic Furnace by Alex Penuelas

It's a twelve step process by Deeply disturbed

Alcohol and mario party (senryu )

A cherished place (English sonnet) by Michael

Someday by Aegis

The Second Rape by Larry Chamberlin

On Westminster Bridge by Mark Rawlins

People (spit and Post) by Naughtymouse

A cherished place (English sonnet) by Michael - 7 points

I enjoyed this poem, rhyming was good, imagery also and the story it told mirrors a place
I'm sure most of us would love to know, if not already, somewhere we could go where a
welcome always awaits and one's troubles could be unloaded amongst good friends.
Michael has done an excellent job here and I'm pleased that I got to read it.
'Unbind my demons, which upon me preyed!'
'Again. I'm here for your soul to cement'
What great lines! Well done Michael!
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It's a twelve step process by Deeply disturbed - 4 points

I found this poem to be very thought provoking and very real, a heartfelt story about how
alcohol can take hold of a person and drive them to ruin. The subsequent brave 'owning up' of
such a person, the stepping forward of an alcoholic amongst similar brave stricken strangers and
admitting to all around them that they are alcoholic, brought a story that is far to prevalent in
today’s broken society.
Each line was well written and had much impact, the last two lines I thought particularly,
packed a very powerful punch, creating an excellent poem that I felt privileged to read. Well done!
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Alcohol and mario party (senryu) 4 points

This is one of my favorite latest senryus, it's deep and kind of sad. It does show depth and
maturity..or aging? In a way and another

The title is very interesting and different, if I shall say.

Nostalgic and personal, I really enjoyed and loved this piece.
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The Second Rape by Larry Chamberlin 7 points

What a devastating poem. Very sad and touching. The title is like a trap, but very honest and
in a way shocking.

I love the fact how in the poem the poet cut down into parts their personal profession,
making this even more personal.
Wishing this goes to the front page for what it represents from social awareness.

Very sad piece </3
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Someday by Aegis - 7 points

The movement in this piece is engaging and well utilized. It really creates a sense of stormy days
and falling through the earth whenever your emotions are too heavy to handle. There is a very
creative use of dashes and parenthesis that not only gets the author's voice across to us, but also
carries the story line of this on easily and effortlessly. There is a really interesting use of imagery
in this as well and that absolutely blows me away. Phenomenal piece at this point.
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A cherished place (English sonnet) by Michael - 7 points

I enjoyed this poem, rhyming was good, imagery also and the story it told mirrors a place I'm
sure most of us would love to know, if not already, somewhere we could go where a welcome
always awaits and one's troubles could be unloaded amongst good friends.
Michael has done an excellent job here and I'm pleased that I got to read it.
'Unbind my demons, which upon me preyed!'
'Again. I'm here for your soul to cement'
What great lines! Well done Michael!
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Born in a Cosmic Furnace by Alex Penuelas - 4 points

While the length is interesting, Alex has managed to captivate the readers with love, beautiful
imagery, and fantastic word choice. For a newer writer to PnQ, Alex has managed to earn himself
quite a following, this week especially. His voice is pure and flows extremely well throughout this
write, and his style is a little but awkward, but somehow that adds personality and interesting little
scenes to the story aspect of this piece. Stunning write.

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People (spit and Post) by Naughtymouse - 10 points

Everything about this piece sets example for authors of similar style and energy. There is
a stunning sense of story telling here as well as lots of great emotional signs. An extremely
honest write that makes this all the more powerful. And while there is no real rhyme or reason
to the way this piece is structured, that adds a ton of reality to this piece and just how motivated Naughtymouse was to get his thoughts on paper and out of his system. Absolutely fantastically
penned piece.
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On Westminster Bridge by Mark Rawlins - 10 points

Quite a powerful poem in view of the terrorist attack in London. Sometimes repetition can
make or break a poem, I feel in this instant it has added immensely to flow and as somebody
has already expressed the sentiment you are conveying. So sad that humanity has nowhere to
hide from attacks such as this. Great title, I like the subtle changes to the last stanza which
almost mirrors the first stanza, adding depth. Well written and thought provoking.

Congrats all. thanks meena and judges x

Congrats guys the poems this week was awesome and thank-you judges for you time and comments, an awesome way to start my day :)

Big thanks for all the votes and all the time the judges put into their wonderful comments:)

Just to repeat what's already been said. Congratulations, all, and a thank you to the judges for their time and thoughtful comments.

Thank you for my HM and inspiring wonderful comments. Means a great, great deal.

Congratulations to all winners of fabulous poetry

Michael

Congratulations all

Congratulations to all

Thanks for the comment on Second Rape. At the same time thanks to all who have commented on it. However reluctant I was to post this poem, I felt I needed to do so.

Congrats to Min, Ben and Aegis & the other HMs. Thanks judges & Min for posting.

The poem is fantastic. I am relieved you decided to post it.

Congrats to all. Thanks for posting, Meena.

Congrats to all!

Thank you to Meena for posting and hats off to the judges as well.
Have a great week everybody!