Weekly Contest Results 4/3/2017

Votes & comments missing from one judge, but that's alright. Here are the results for this weekly poetry contest: Ben Pickard with 'Rusty Scars," Hellon with "Dementia," and Mark/hiraeth with "Crystallized."
Thank you to the judges and our poets for making the weekly contest possible. A personal thank you to the judge who voted on my poem this week and left a very thoughtful comment.

Best,
Jane

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COMMENTS FOR WINNERS:
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Rusty Scars
by Ben Pickard
10 +10 + 7 = 27

"A skillfully worded poem. The tempo and rhyme work really well urging you forward on this escape back to nature, yet the narrative is told in such a simple yet wonderful way.
Rusty scars an apt title. “I thought only I could see the rust” I think this is the line that brings the whole piece together. Rust such a descriptive word to describe what’s going on in the world today.
Great poem." (10)

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"Not sure that I understood this piece when I first read it, but have to say that I liked its 'jolliness' and the way each rhyming line seemed to fit very nicely together.
I love the creativity in this write, of perhaps a man 'leaving the concrete jungle behind him' and instead, immersing himself into Natures wilderness.
A very enjoyable read! Well done!" (10)

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"Once again, Ben proves his incredible poetic ability with an extremely fluid and accessible write; the language flows freely and fluently from word-to-word to each ABAB (and so onward) line-end rhyme. A quite fun read, to be honest, simply in its reading - floating so easily through the stanzas and the two speakers conversing.

I am quite curious about the two uses of “nature” as possessive. In the third stanza nature is written of as the natural world surrounding, whilst in the fifth stanza we see nature capitalized, perhaps even personified. Nature as person, owning the lay of the land, or so his/her “court”? I thought this was quite interesting.

Also, of the third stanza, this quick series of conversation couplets provides a quite pleasing image. The first speaker seeks to know of the second speaker’s detachment from society:
'And has it worked, now you’re detached,
From humankind and concrete walls?'
The second speaker confirms that yes, the move to nature has relaxed him/her, away from the bustle of busy life.
'Indeed,' he says, 'the need is scratched -
I’m soothed by nature’s calming call.'

A wonderfully pleasant read, story, and overall beautifully written poem." (7)

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Dementia
by Hellon
7 + 7 + 4 = 18

"As one who has witnessed the gradual deterioration of a loved one’s mind, this poem hits home like a sidewinder missile." (7)

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"This piece has touched me deeply.
Although not on the personal level, but the description
and the questioning throughout the poem made it
really sad and touching.

The suffering is not easy, once struggling with
one's identity is not even something I want to imagine.

You reflected the disorder in a heart touching way
without having to do overly dramatic, which have
coherence to the theme.

Well written." (7)

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"This is a sad piece, describing an illness that most of us know of someone who lives with this terrible affliction. This poem manages to put into just a few lines, what it must be like to endure this awful, never relenting disease of the mind, to a person that is afflicted with it. One can only hope that a cure is found soon.
This poem makes its point in a clear, concise fashion, and well deserves a place in this competition." (4)

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crystallized
by hiraeth
10 + 4 = 14

"I'd be bragging to say I was able to embrace
the full meaning from the very 1st attempt,
or that I was able to comprehend it even now.
That can't be true anyway, when it comes to poetry.

All I can feel in this poem is art, the word combination,
the structure, even the punctuation is well put each in place.

The opening is well played.

I don't know what I like most about this piece,
perhaps the fact that I find it hard to grasp it,
yet I sink in the beauty of its words and thoughts
that are inspired by it.

Wonderful phrasing." (10)

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"'verses versus taught thoughts'
Quite an opening here, strong diction and a playfulness with language, contrasting homophones in the opening line.

'words: sporadic,
weaning from waxing,

but why did we go from waxing words
to ashing them?'
A very good way to describe the poem itself - sporadic, but well-thought out in terms of the words used. “Waxing words” could be polishing or increasing in complexity such as a ‘waxing’ moon, or even recording the sound of words. There is many a way to read each line for meaning and that powers this poem in terms of its brilliance.

An adventurous and language-powered write here. Excellent work!" (4)

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COMMENTS FOR HONORABLE MENTIONS:
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Abused with compassion
by Mark Rawlins

"A very powerful and creative piece, reflecting on a political system and the austerity that it has brought us.
Clever rhyming here in a repeated fashion, but one that makes for a very interesting piece of writing, which well deserves a place in this competition." (7)

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Concrete
by Rania Moallem

"This poem takes an unexpected turn that forced me to reevaluate the first several stanzas. It is a paean to an earth-deity. Not a florid god who sets the world teeming with life, nor the fecund spirit dedicated to regeneration. This soul is of the earth itself: “the smell / of washed soil / fresh basil & thyme.” Despite the lack of creative juices, without sugar or salt, it lives deep in the recesses of beingness." (10)

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How The Forest Binds
by Naughtymouse

"The subdued tone of the poem is perfect in depicting the reverie at a campfire. The lofty heights of imagination reflects the intense saturation of the moment which is felt by the poet." (4)

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Agnostic
by Silvershoes

"This poem calls to mind the interesting conundrum of those who are non-religious or hold no belief in deities and God’s place, or I suppose, linguistic presence in every day life.
It’s interesting to think that a person may not believe in God, but may in simple speaking evoke the name - cursing, “god bless you” to follow a sneeze, etc.

'When I stopped believing in Santa Claus,
I stopped believing in God'
-For those who do not believe in a God, this equating of a fictional character in Santa Claus and in that belief, fictional deity, brings a strong start to the poem.

'When I dropped God, I
let him fall to the earth like overripe fruit'
-Whether a biblical allusion or not, I like the mention of God falling like a fruit - it carries the weight of the Adam & Eve story, as well as the fall of man ideology within.

This poem is a very strong piece on a certainly weighty topic; the ending especially wraps everything up quite nicely." (10)

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BEAUTY (Acrostic)
by LVI JOE

"I can't even imaging anything that is more
disgusting than such severe attacks based on
discrimination and whatsoever.

This is as beautiful as mesmerizing as much as painful.

The title, really touched my heart when I got to know
the story behind your verses.

There are only scars in the heart of people
who are full of hate and lack sympathy.

Perfect wording, a front page piece." (4)

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Tinder
by Aries Rising

"A raw poem with quiet a strong message. The meter and rhyme work well. I first thought it was about forging a sword or something similar but suspect there is a deeper meaning here about anything we create that can inflict harm on others? Anyway an enjoyable read well done!" (7)

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Family
by Jamie

"I must say I was captivated when I first read this piece, a lovely journey back in time. It reads well with great imagery, I can see myself gazing up at the sky lying on the grass as a kid. I think we all yearn for those days. Thanks for bring back the memories!" (4)

Congratulations for you guys who won this week, I've read every one sometimes late at night/early morning. OK mostly early morning which I really must stop doing.

But you all captivate so when i wake, instead trying to get back to sleep I read a little. That little becomes a lot.

So many fantastic pieces but I've gotta say "hellon" your piece humbled all of us.

Tips ones hat.

Craig

Ps thank you for nominating me guys and whoever voted for Tinder, was rather unexpected but humbly received. Of all I've twaddled on about you kinda side swiped me with that one.

Craig

Thank you judges for you kind comments...they are always greatly appreciated. Congrats to B2 and Mark, the other winners, it's a pleasure to share the front page with you both. Also congrats to the Hms, some awesome competition this week. I'd also like to thank B1 for nominating this poem...and, just thanks to everyone who has commented on a poem that is very personal to me...it means a lot.

Thank you judges and congratulations to the other two winners; they really are both excellent poems. Also, well done to the hms. I've read most of them and I will read the ones I haven't today.

All the best

Congrats to Mark, Ben & Hellon and also to the HMs. Good work judges & thanks Jane.

Congratulations Mark, Hellon and Ben!

Congrats to all the HM's!!

Thank you judges and thanks for hosting Jane!

Congrats to all the front page winners and HM's! So much amazing writes on here, it's always a pleasure to read.

Votes were turned in by the 5th judge, my mistake. They turned in comments yesterday, but I did not see them until now. I have just added them.

Powerful pieces. Congrats to everyone! An enormous thank you to all our poets, judges and of course, Jane for posting.

Hope you all are enjoying your week so far!

Congratulations to all the winners, excellent standard of poems as usual!

Thank you judges! Congrats to Ben & Hellon on their win, and to all those who picked up a HM :)
Thank you Jane for hosting

Hi Guys,

sorry i've been away the last few weeks and I've just seen this, thank you whoever nominated and judges for your comments, Really amazing poems for this week (Back to the future)