Weekly Contest Results 6/13/17

  • PnQ Mod Account
    7 years ago, updated 7 years ago

    Results are late because I was missing several sets of comments, which have since come in. Thank you, judges (and sub-judges/the mods)! Congrats winners and honorable mentions. Another successful week. - Jane/silvershoes

    WINNERS:

    The pain of silence
    by Meena Krish
    10 + 7 = 17

    "'emotions caged
    in an air tight bottle
    boiling to be released'

    I thought 'caged' was an interesting verb choice here and created an extremely flexible image. Bottles, so commonly glass or plastic, but here we are presented with the image of bars, steel - which paints in mind a quite fascinating image of a bottle, perhaps enveloped in wire, or embraced by steel, a cork atop to keep the air inside of its glass encasement. Perhaps I just played with this image too much in my own mind, but this stanza presented just such a nice opportunity to do so.

    The next stanza we are entrenched in dark - hiding, shadow. We are being pulled into the sadness, the poet’s emotional spectrum, next punched with the fact that some words can destroy fragility, beauty.

    The closing lines were certainly interesting as well; a tear is very much visual, a well-known image, but rather than imagery, we are struck with sound-

    'to free them
    into your ears.'
    A captivating ending to a sad, yet wonderfully written piece.'" (10)

    The pain of discord is beautifully depicted here. Even though the situation appears temporary, the depth of emotion is real and profound. It indicates an injustice done to the suffering author, perhaps by her spouse. It states that he would be most anxious to make things right - if he only knew the issue. Yet, for reasons held tightly to the speaker, she refuses to betray her sadness and thus willingly bears the anguish in silence. Why? The answer is likely as diverse as the readers of the poem. Each person will arrive at his or her own conclusion, some merciful, some horrific. It is this final vagueness that makes her poem stand out. (7)

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    A breath of fresh air
    by Michael
    10 + 4 = 14

    '??I found this to be a heartfelt beautiful poem which held my interest to the very end.?It flowed very well and described the feelings that surround loosing someone that you are deeply in Love with. Such a sad poem and one that deserves a place in this competition." (10)

    "A romantic poem of yearning, extremely well penned. To my mind you are becoming one of the more accomplished poets on this site. Your use and knowledge of the English language is evident to all. There is good imagery, stanza’s are well constructed and contain some great lines. The use of 'twitched' in the second stanza comes to mind, loved that! wisperingl in the last line ? a typo I think." (4)?

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    Iron Will and Glass Heart
    by Aries Rising
    10 + 4 = 14

    "It’s the title that caught my attention and from it much has ?come into my mind, and just as I thought so is this write. To ?see someone who is unbreakable and stands tall among all yet ?the inner suffering of one person’s actions can crumble that ?heart. I like the word 'glass heart' for its true the heart is very ?easy to break and it can shatter into millions. Just reading?it makes me as a reader feel the hurt for this suffering is silent ?yet standing tall…touching write." (10)

    "I liked this piece. A poem about a man that looks so strong from the outside, but inside he nurses a broken Heart.
    I'm sure some of us have been there in our lives and know these feelings, having to show a brave face to the world, but inside slowly dying..
    A very sad poem and one that kept my interest right to the end, and a poem worthy of a place in this competition. Well done Aries Rising!" (4)

    HONORABLE MENTIONS:

    Untitled
    by Aegis
    7 + 4 = 11

    "'I was an abandoned marigold'
    Just this starting line: beautiful in its spaciousness, its ability to present such a vast expansive world, a flower alone in a field. This really drew me in and held me prisoner, needing to read more.

    'Promethean.'
    A line of just a single word, much like the marigold, abandoned to live by itself within the poem. And quite an interesting choice of comparison here - Promethean, being especially creative, innovative even, and Prometheus, the fire thief, here as the marigold without a sun.

    And that ending - 'I wonder… or because of you' so dazzlingly closes the piece with the inquiry of whether the narrator has sprouted from 'you' or in the course of having known 'you.' A beautifully crafted, thoughtful write." (7)

    "'…and I wonder if I have blossomed from you, or because of you'
    A lingering question which has taken me deep into this write. From start to end there is sadness definitely yet in certain parts it feels like the author is best without this person and at the same time what it would be like if that person had given some of her time to him. Lonely and sad prevailing feel throughout this write…touching." (4)

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    The Clock (Senryu)
    by mossgirl19?

    "Short forms are deceptively easy. The criteria for a good haiku, senryu or syntuit are often ignored by the authors. This senryu, however, is an excellent example of the genre. Of course syllable counting is the easiest part, but more engaging is the poem’s focus and result. It uses the hands of the clock for an anthropomorphic element, cleverly done. Most interesting is the 'ah-ha' moment. First the build up: the first two lines set forth the iconic symbol of an old clock, which brings the connotation of antiquity, craftsmanship and care - the essence of human endeavor and time purposefully invested. The closing line, 'time forever lost,' turns this investment on its head. The very work distinguished by fully involved direction is shown to prove the loss of the time it records. The poem is both ironic and a beautiful cautionary message." (10)?
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    Parable In The Dark
    by Maher

    'A short but compelling poem rich in depth. There were so many good poems this week but this one spoke to me the most. Creative use of imagery and language with an unexpected powerful ending. The light is indeed fading as we are all caught up in these never ending conflicts.' (10)

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    To argue with the Heavens
    by Ben Pickard

    "I liked the unusual concept in this poem, the writer having an imaginary conversation with Heaven!
    Showed as usual from Ben, much creativity and imagination in his writing which I liked, with an ending that left the reader wanting more..! Well done Ben!" (7)

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    Beautiful Stars
    by Maple Tree

    "This is nature at its best, tender and soft with a mother’s touch and at the same time the sadness felt within each line lingers long after. I like the visuals and the choice of words it make this write so beautifully sad and moving." (7)

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    Nox Terrorem
    by Tony

    "An insight into what must be pretty common for many who are still involved in, or have lived through the terror that is war. Yes we may have seen videos or movies but to have lived it, then carry it with you for the rest of your life is a different story I would think. You have done a great job of conveying the horrors of war that you live with on a daily basis. Great use of language and rhyme scheme that works really well, tied together with a strong ending and a great title." (7)

    The Ultimate Solar Flare
    by BlueJay

    "?Cataclysm out of intensity. It has often been said that the brightest candle burns quickest. Here, the flare of brilliance is over so quickly that the author has not even enough experience with the man to formulate a proper history. He figuratively burned on entry." (4)

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    The way it ends.
    by Lvi

    "I really appreciated the start of this poem, the elliptical entrance - are we picking up the poet mid-thought, mid-poem, or are we carrying on from a bygone sequence? It’s a nice little mystery to open things up - it could even sit in for a sigh, a rest before the anguish begins.

    'The flood
    that you carried
    has created a drought
    within.'
    A well-painted display here - the subject’s departure has left the narrator’s life dry, empty, unsustaining of life.

    Another poem this week with a really well-thought-out ending, as well. The narrator expressing that they know the sun will rise, as is routine, and knew and/or knows that they and the subject will end just as certainly. Well done." (4)

  • CJ Maleney
    7 years ago

    Afternoon all,

    Firstly well done to all winners, HM's and all those lucky enough to be nominated.

    Thank you to Ren for nominating mine and thank you to those who voted for it.

    Massive respect and regards to the judges, the work you put in is appreciated by all of us

    Craig

  • Michael
    7 years ago

    Hello one and all :)

    A big thank you to the judges for their time taken to read, give their results and wonderful comments which are I feel valued and inspirational :)

    So.. well done to all winners including those with HM's. Again some incredible diverse written pieces.

    Thank you to Brenda for nominating my poem

    All the best to all

    Michael :)

  • Larry Chamberlin
    7 years ago

    Well done, Judges - excellent choices. Thanks Jane, for hosting.
    Congrats to the winners and to the HMs as well.

  • Em
    7 years ago

    Well done all !! <3

  • mossgirl19
    7 years ago

    Congratulations to our winners and HMs...

  • Meena Krish replied to mossgirl19
    7 years ago

    Congratulations to both the front page Winners and the HM's!
    Thank you judges for your wonderful comments on my write and for the win...
    Thank you Maple Tree for the nomination and thank you for hosting Jane :)

  • Liz
    7 years ago

    Congrats all!

  • Ren
    7 years ago

    Congrats y'all!! :D