Hello, this week we had a harvest basket of judges. One judge
was absent for awhile and we have been sub-judging for that judge on a
rotating basis. The judges all voted on Saturday, so that we had 5 full sets
of comments and votes. However, the absent judge appeared unexpectedly
and cast votes and sent in comments. These new votes did not change
the outcome, but we are including them so that the poets the judge selected
would have the honor of reading the judge’s comments.
//WINNERS//:
Another Sleepless Night by Ren
Splash of Stars by ddavidd
It’s Raining by Maple Tree
//COMMENTS//:
It's Raining by Maple Tree
Give until you are no longer a person separate from your offering.
Sacrifice until there is no strength left to hold up your soul. Experience
the pain of another, or others, until your world has been permeated
with extreme depression. Then hold out a bit longer, recharge and
continue. In this mold are saints constructed. (7 points)
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It's Raining by Maple Tree 10 points
I almost wished I could vote for this and refrain from commenting because
it is so incredibly personal and powerful, but because this is the weekly contest
and every poem - even ones that are not nominated deserve honest feedback, here
goes nothing. For being so personal, this is also incredibly relateable, everyone,
especially artists, understand what it's like to put up a front (whether in their work
or in person) and then finally getting to the breaking point where they need to get
over everything that's happening in their life so they can ask for or be offered the
support they actually need to get through the rest of their ordeal. I feel like artists of all
kinds have more of a problem with this than anyone else, especially in this age where
all a person's work is online or in some sort of public form and they don't want strangers
to pity them or old school bullies to come across it and embarrass them - both of
which are things I've seen and despise, but sorry this is meant to be more professional
than that. Anyway, back to the point of this poem specifically, it catches the heart of
the matter, it is relateable yet personally and beautifully balanced, it is stunningly
worded, and the scene is set so effortlessly that the ache our PnQ family feels for
Maple Tree is intensified tenfold. (10 points)
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Another Sleepless Night by Ren
Some people find themselves contending with situations beyond themselves.
They grit their teeth in ventriloquist grins letting the confidence plaster itself
on the stuffed effigy with which they fool the world into accepting their
ability - even while they see themselves as the dummy. Amazingly, most of
the time these same people get through the crises (a series, not an isolated
disaster) and have no idea how they made it. Beautiful depiction of a
person in the midst of the situation. (4 points)
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Another sleepless night by Ren
This piece by Ren (in my humble opinion) has been long anticipated
and it didn’t disappoint. It is one that seeps profoundness, honesty and
relate-ability throughout this site because if we’re not awake due to our
overactive mind that delves some of us deeper into darkness then we’re
unable to sleep just because… loved this from start to finish. Oh, I also
loved the fact that the title linked straight into the piece itself – intriguing
and original. (10 points)
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Splash of Stars by: ddavidd
Three lines that make you imagine the scene and feel the writer. Tea.
moon and stars, they all joined in to make this clever piece of gem.
We can be very creative in the shortest way possible. Amazing work.
(10 points)
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Splash of Stars (haiku) by ddavidd
Personally, I'll always love simple, short pieces that are filled with life and
originality. But this one was especially wonderful because it managed to be
honest and pretty while still conforming to the chosen form. There weren't a
lot of words required, but this still maintained personality and voice - two huge
things in my book - AND it was so elegant. I am so glad this was nominated, or I
fear I wouldn't have come across it. I am perfectly happy seeing this at least get
an honorable mention, but it is definitely a phenomenal example of a modern
day haiku! (7 points)
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Splash of stars haiku by: ddavidd
There were several aspects of this haiku that I found enthralling. It reminded
me of reflections we think we see, hope to see, that bring us a sense of intimacy
and longing. The stars and moon are reborn in this person and I see an outpouring
of light. Light and eternity birthed within the soul. I also liked the specific of the
jasmine tea, the emphasis of a delicate floral tone that somehow softens this moment.
A haiku that gave me feeling and depth. Well done. (7 points)
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//HM’S//
The Longest Kiss is when Butterflies Fly About by Sherry Caayupan
Every poem is precious by mossgirl19
Unnoticed by Dagmar Wilson
Intricacies by Emily Walker
The end of us by Beautiful Tragedy
A few of many virtues possessed by women by Alice
Permanent Words by Scott Cole
A Figure Evanescent by Nani
Limbo by kitty cat
Soliloquy by Ben Pickard
Lucky man by Alice
//COMMENTS//:
Intricacies by: Emily Walker
I like your voice and tone in this piece. It reminded me of when I started
writing more in high school, and digging deeper into the meaning behind the
poems, not just the surface. There's a life and spirit you create in this person;
they are literally representing elements of nature in everything they do and their
complexity is something glorious and inspiring. I like how your realization
comes into play here, that you realize if this person would speak, speak with that
same diction and power, they could move barriers. But that hesitancy and fear we
all have, is holding this person back from daring to be involved, to get hurt, to be
let down. Thought provoking write! (4 points)
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A few of the many virtues possessed by women by: Alice
This piece is one of empowerment and the celebration of being a woman.
Being a mother is not every woman's calling, or her gift to give, but your verses
held a reverence for the life they nurture and care for, then a bold awakening for
all women to be heard and not silenced. The image that stayed with me was the
image of Lady Liberty, as often she is spoken about to remind others of the diversity
and liberty we help create and acknowledge. You bring a very article voice and
meaning in this poem and others. There's a maturity that I admire and look
forward to reading in more of your poetry. (10 points)
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Unnoticed by Dagmar Wilson
So this piece seems like it's nothing special because the title is simple and
very ambiguous; however, there's something incredibly inviting about this
at the same time. There is a meaning that can be translated in a million different
ways for each and every one of us and there is a story that is stunningly portrayed.
All wonderful qualities for a piece that is being showcased here in the contest, but
I think what really makes this noteworthy is the fact that this is a common
concept, the term "wallflower" has been expressed a thousand times, but this one
is still incredibly personal and it is has a sort of modern beauty to it as well as a
timeless feel. The way Dagmar kept a well balanced piece and a connotation heavy
piece so calm was super! (4 points)
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Every poem is precious by mossgirl19
I don’t really have much to say on this piece apart from the title says it
all. Fantastic piece which speaks volumes (4 points)
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Permanent Words by Scott Cole
I’m not sure where to start with this piece of Scotts as it was profound,
honest and was beautifully rhymed which made the piece flow so well.
The content itself very thought provoking. (7 points)
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The Longest Kiss is When Butterflies Fly About by: Sherry Caayupan
This is an enchanting piece, dripping in beautiful imagery, written
in a beautiful language that perfectly sets the tone for the readers. It
also has a smooth rhythm that makes it an almost dreamy read, like
fresh air for the lungs. Wonderful work. (4 points)
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A Figure Evanescent by: Nani
A very strong, visually striking piece written in a few lines. I love the
rhyming, it flowed really well. This is the kind of poetry that is
direct, simple and just leaves an imprint in reader's mind. So much
strength flowed out from this and its wonderful to have such strong
impact poetry. Lovely work. (7 points)
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The end of us by Beautiful Tragedy
This poem screams angst and betrayal: the angst of a young girl who
is rejected by her teacher-lover and the betrayal by that teacher of the
duty owed to that young girl not to take advantage of her, even if she
asks for it. The poem screams outrage in that the youth is punished, but
there appears to be no such retribution laid on the adult culprit. Finally,
the poem sets out confusion that it intimates a further relationship
between them. Although the poem’s subject matter screeches like chalk
on a blackboard, the finished product is raw and profound. (10 points)
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Limbo by Kitty Cat Lady
A thought provoking piece with effortless rhyme that captures exactly
that moment in time where you find yourself stuck powerless to
change your circumstance waiting for tomorrows solution.
This poem will surely strike a note with anyone who has experienced
that painfully slow moment whether its waiting for a relationship to
end or waiting for an inevitable solution to a current state of affairs.
What ever the case time slows and drags us each to distraction.
For me the last verse:
"I dream of tomorrow
but I'm stuck on today
by yesterday's mistakes
A life in Disarray"
Sums up this sentiment exactly and could stand alone as a poetic quote
or statement complete in its own right. (10 points)
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Soliloquy by Ben Pickard
Soliloquy - an act of speaking one's thoughts aloud when by ones
self regardless of any hearers"
Ben never fails to impress with his poetic skills. This piece is visually
and emotionally dynamic and I love the way he uses natures metaphors
to add to the emotional depth of his writing.
I feel that this is a piece that needs to be spoken out loud for the best
effect, even better read on stage to best do it justice. I close my eyes and
can imagine a solitary man sat head bent in the middle of a darkened
theatrical stage (lit only with a solitary spotlight) pouring out his this
superb soliloquy and capturing the audiences hearts. (7 points)
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Lucky Man by Alice
This piece had me captivated from the moment I read it. What a
deliciously macabre tale. A clever twist of marriage murder and greed
that kept me enthralled from beginning to end. For me it struck exactly
the right balance between murderous description and a light hearted
tale which made it much more appealable to a wider audience than if
Alice had produced a more gory approach. (4 points)
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