Bullying - In particular "Internet Trolling"

Years ago I once attended a conference about bullying at work hosted by Tim Fields who also covered bullying on line and in other situation. It occurred to me that there are people who are bullies and don't even realise that they are doing it. So I thought it might be worth opening a discussion thread about the subject.
This abstract covers "Internet Trolling"

"Internet Trolling" is a good example of persistent, abnormal behaviour. This is the often anonymous use of forums to post irrelevant, disruptive, insulting or abusive messages, designed to infuriate or upset members, leading to replies, counter criticism, and arguments and taking the forum way off topic. The troll gets a kick from single-handedly moving others to spend their time and emotional energy on him or her, and even on each other. The best way to deal with Internet trolling, and other adult behaviour which is primarily intended to elicit attention, is to not respond, to not engage and to thus deny the person the attention they seek. If the perpetrator is denied the attention, there's a chance that they will think twice before taking this approach again. If they get attention, they might well do it again.

Attention-seeking behaviour inevitably involves other people, who at best waste their time by becoming irritated by it, or they become an unwitting player in a fabricated melodrama. At worst, people can find that they have been manipulated, conned, harmed etc by it.

Tim Field made a link between some well documented forms of attention seeking behaviour and bullying because, he concluded, the manipulation, deceit, temper tantrums and "poor me" melodramas of attention seekers are also typical of adult bullies. Put another way, some forms of attention seeking behaviour also amount to bullying.

(This list is based on the original by Tim Field, but some inspiration from pages at http://mentalhealth.com has helped with the update.)

(abstract taken from http://bullyonline.org/index.php/bullying/bullies/21-the-need-for-attention)

Very good thread, Milly.
I think one key to your piece is the element of melodrama. Anytime you're in an argument it is emotionally charged, which is often the entire purpose of the initiation.

Yes Larry . This is the bullying aspect of the personality...

The "Troll" is so actively intent on pushing the attention to themselves that they will use any tool at their disposal to put themselves centre stage regardless of how many people they upset. A bully will seemingly create melodrama and offence where there is none, antagonise and use the confusion as a means to steer the thread around to showcasing their perceived knowledge, strengths and abilities or instead use the "nobody likes me" card in an effort to illicit sympathy.

Bullies gets great joy in antagonising and upsetting others because it gives them a sense of power over their victims and boosts their self worth which is what they desperately crave. Most people don't even realise that they are being manipulated into retaliation and even blame themselves for reacting to it.

To be fair not every bully is aware that they are bullying they just crave what makes them feel better about themselves. Which is why I posted this information.

This really is a fabulous post, Milly and so articulately put. It makes clear what is already irritatingly obvious; I think we all know the issues with these people and what they're about and yet we often raise the level of the drama ourselves purely from frustration. This just demeans the innocent and gives the troll exactly what they are after.

Perhaps we should all read this carefully and take action...or perhaps no action at all is best, as your post so rightly suggests.

Thank you for posting this and all the best as ever,

Ben

Excellent thread Milly! I try to not engage but sometimes I get sucked into the drama myself. Very useful information!

My introduction to this feed was taken from Tim Fields an industry leader on how to deal with Bullying in the workplace and on the internet. Bullying is rife in so many areas of our lives that it is important to be able to identify bullying behaviour and in doing so be able to fight against it. We have all heard on the news how bullying has pushed people to take their own lives or their lives have been made unbearable, but there are varying scales of bullying and a bully will often push nice people to behave out of character because the bully gets his joy from manipulating a nice person to do the wrong thing. Ignoring them and not biting at what ever the provocation, is the best action because they cannot bear to be ignored. They need their stage and control over others.

So to repeat again what Tim Fields says about " Internet Trolling" or" Internet Bullying"

"Internet Trolling" is a good example of persistent, abnormal behaviour. This is the often anonymous use of forums to post irrelevant, disruptive, insulting or abusive messages, designed to infuriate or upset members, leading to replies, counter criticism, and arguments and taking the forum way off topic.

The troll gets a kick from single-handedly moving others to spend their time and emotional energy on him or her, and even on each other.

The best way to deal with Internet trolling, and other adult behaviour which is primarily intended to elicit attention, is to not respond, to not engage and to thus deny the person the attention they seek. If the perpetrator is denied the attention, there's a chance that they will think twice before taking this approach again. If they get attention, they might well do it again.

I hope that this has been of help to people and that it will continue to be so in the future. Thank you for reading this feed Best wishes Milly x

MESSAGE FOR ALL MEMBERS: If you believe someone on PnQ is responsible for "internet trolling" and/or is a bully on this site, the moderators request that you private message the joint moderator account with your concerns and the name of the member(s). Any subsequent action taken will ensure that you remain completely anonymous.

I find your post to be quite disconcerting considering that you are a very new member...I mean..how did you find this thread for example? Most newbies take a while to settle in and find their feet so...mmmm! I see you lead us to an account that I can only imagine was yours, although it has been inactive for 5 years and...there was never a post made from that account so...what is you motive exactly? This thread was about five or six down the list of activity today...why pick this one? [[Clarification from Jane, moderator: The account Hellon is responding to here has been deleted, thank you]]

Getting back on topic...I was bullied at school...not cyber bullying obviously ( too old for that) but, it did instill a great fear in my life for a very long period of time...when my parents eventually cottoned on to it they just said...deal with the problem..you are nine years old, this is the time to decided whether you are going to make a stance or be left behind...they were not going to fight my battles for me so...I did...one quick swipe over the head with my satchel was all it took :)

^ sorry to hear your parents didn’t do anything about it.

I’m glad my parents were able to intervene on some occasions when I was bullied. If not, I would probably not be alive.

I had some neighbors who had a “thing” against me. I don’t know why. I think they just didn’t like me or idk. But one afternoon, the poor girls decided to throw rocks at me just like that without realizing that those bigger rocks could hit my head and probably leave me unconscious or dead. My mom caught them just in time. She scolded them, and explained to them what could have happened. Then mom talked to the girl’s parents. Ever since then, the girls never bothered me again. We could also interchange greetings and play together from time to time.

So yeah, they definitely weren’t aware of what they were doing. After mom explained, they felt bad, sorry, and definitely, scared and ashamed of their actions.

On another topic,
I often wonder if that’s why Jesus meant with,

“Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they are doing” (or something like that) when He was about to be crucified.

As far as internet trolling, I think that one is easier to tackle if it’s from a complete stranger. Just block whoever is trolling you or ignore them or don’t take to heart whatever that someone is saying. However, if whoever is bullying you online and that someone is someone you know in person, that’s really hard to deal with. I mean that’ll be online bullying and bullying. Definitely, don’t hesitate to seek for as much help as possible.

I think you've got it wrong Luce...my parents not doing anything about it was their way of telling me that they would not always be around to fight my battles and the sooner I stood on my own two feet the better for me in this big bad world. I'm extremely thankful that the did not molly coddle me :)

I think parents need to draw a line and step in if that line is crossed. Encouraging kids to fight their own battles is one thing, and it sounds like you feel it was the right call for your parents to make, Hellon, but if someone is throwing rocks at your kid's head, that (for me) crosses a line. There was a girl in my elementary school who died after kids in her class were on a hill above her, throwing rocks down at her. One struck her head and it was fatal. I will never forget it.

I was bullied in school too. Wait. Is there something tying all of us poets together?! I don't know many people who have been badly bullied, but it sounds like a lot of us have that in common? In 5th grade, my being bullied culminated when two boys beat me up after school. I had bruises all over my body for weeks, including a gnarly black eye and a cracked rib. I was bullied in middle school and in high school as well, but it was emotional bullying. I think it was worse. My parents stepped in in elementary school, but there was not much they could do about the emotional bullying later on... I had to learn to deal with that on my own, and maybe it's made me stronger. It's definitely made me more empathetic.

but if someone is throwing rocks at your kid's head, that (for me) crosses a line

^^

Get a bigger rock and throw it right back Jane. The people who have defended your country and mine did not have their parents stopping by to say.."hang on, that's my kid...can you please be a little kinder towards them... please don't throw that rock/bomb.bullet..just think what could happen if you do..."

“I think you've got it wrong Luce...my parents not doing anything about it was their way of telling me that they would not always be around to fight my battles and the sooner I stood on my own two feet the better for me in this big bad world. I'm extremely thankful that the did not molly coddle ...”

Nah, I understood what you meant. It’s just that there are situations in which parents have to step in. And it’s important for parents to be aware of what’s going on with their child. Though I agree, parents won’t be able to intervene in everything. There are things the child has to learn on its own.

My parents didn’t intervene every time I was bullied. However, they encouraged me to tell them, and depending on the situation, they would give advice on how to handle it, or intervene, or just listen. It was helpful. In a way, that was their way of telling that they would not always be around and that I should take care of what I currently can, and that there are situations that I might not be able to handle on my own, and that is okay to ask for help.

“but if someone is throwing rocks at your kid's head, that (for me) crosses a line

^^

Get a bigger rock and throw it right back Jane.”

^^ Hellon, who should get the bigger rock? The parent who is watching, the child who is being thrown rocks at? Or ...?

Hehe like literally, there was no way I could get a bigger rock to throw it back. There were like three girls throwing rocks at me. First instinct was cover my face and give them my back. After that, I didn’t know what to do. I was meditating on what I should do. I was wondering why they were doing that? What did I do wrong? Did I hurt them without knowing? and then I heard mom

Every one has different personalities. If someone else might have been inmy situation, that Someone might have instinctly fought back. In my case, i need to have a strong reason to do so.

I experienced bullying at school by six girls and in those days parents were told by teachers nothing could be done. My parents told me not to fight back because that’s what the bullies wanted that it was not acceptable behaviour to be seen girls brawling in the streets. As a result of doing nothing (believing that I was doing the right thing) the bullying escalated to dangerous levels.

After being told by parents and teachers that couldn’t help me. There didn't seem any point in telling adults anything. I never told anyone how bad things had got and felt that it was down to me to just deal with it by myself. I tried reasoning with the girls individually, hiding and eventually skipping school nothing worked. Yet I had no problem standing between big boys trying to bully smaller ones. I think maybe because it was one to one and I was used to fighting my brothers whereas the girls always seemed to be too many to deal with.

One day I lost it over something quite small really. I grabbed one of the bullys by her throat and lifted her off the ground with one hand and slid her up the wall. I think all of the frustration of three years of bullying was in that single movement but it was enough to demonstrate that I was no longer going to sit by and let them bully me. It worked and they left me alone.

Knowing how it feels to be bullied with nobody to help you is the reason that I have always done my best to stand between bullies and their victims whether it be in the workplace in a club or bar. I have put myself in danger situations but I have also helped stop bullying. However not all victims of bullying come out feeling the same. I was surprised when a colleague at a seminar freely admitted to me that she had been bullied at school and instead of feeling protective of others had gone on to bully other people. So I think that people react differently to their experiences.

Yeah, definitely, people react differently to their experiences. Would that be due to personalities?

In my case, I was lucky that my mom talked to the girls and to the girl’s parents and even more lucky that the girl’s parents were cooperating. Though, come to think of it, my mom was angry. she definitely looked intimidating.

When it comes to school, teachers cannot do anything. However, it kind of helps to report the bullying. At least, it stays on record.

You could be right about personality types. People who bully have weak natures and are cowards with no sense of honour or empathy with others.

Fortunately it's much easier to identify and report bullying nowadays. In schools the kids are taken much more seriously because of the suicides. In the UK we have bully lines to report it and also counselling lines. It is taken much more seriously now. There is a zero tolerance policy here.

I agree with Jane and Luce, but I see Hellon's point.

Being raised in an Irish Catholic school in the middle of the Bible Belt, everyone was in constant battle. I guess I was bullied but really thought it was normal and having a temper I always hit back, but never hit anyone smaller than me. Eventually I was left alone.

However, that was the 50's and the world was different. Coaches had wood paddles (now I realize they were cricket bats). Nuns had steel edged rulers, dads had belts and moms had switches. If you had a grudge with a kid you settled it with fists. Nobody got punished for fighting unless you disrupted class. No one I knew used guns except for hunting. I hitchhiked home from school since the 2nd grade. That was then.

I raised my own kids without corporeal punishment. The schools do not allow paddles or rulers. Socializing organizations (schools, churches, scouts, youth clubs) teach how to sort things out without violence.

Bullying is an innate part of juvenile society, but it is in the process of being reduced. Tolerance for others is taught, acceptance of differences is aspired to - but with significant backsliding. The roles played by leaders as role models has never become more obvious than in the past year. Bullying and intolerance has risen and become more blatant because those perpetrating have been given the signal it is okay. Women have pushed back with the "me too" and "time's up" movements.

As a parent, I tried to let my kids sort things out as long as potentially lethal weapons were not involved. Getting a bigger rock just escalates the odds of permanent damage or even death. That's not acceptable. Whenever I stepped in to stop a fight I did so for the sake of all the kids, not just my own. Being a bully causes damage the same as being bullied. Stop the bullying and you might just save a kid.

Yes well...I was brought up in the same school situation as you Larry and now...well, slowly they are all being wormed out and facing the bullying we considered as normal by those in charge of our education back then...luckily I was just hit over the knuckles with a ruler by the nuns :) lots were 'bullied' in other, more sinister ways it would seem.

Getting a bigger rock just escalates the odds of permanent damage or even death. That's not acceptable.

^^^

Isn't this just what's going on between your president and Kim Jong-un right now???

Larry I agree with you. Thank goodness things have changed for the better in schools (Teachers used to throw wooden board rubbers at the kids, use rulers to rap knuckles and for more serious offenses the use of slippers on bums for punishment but not on girls that was in the 70s lol)

I think its really important for parents to strike a balance between teaching children to resolve things on their own and understanding that when things get too difficult to handle that they can still go to their parents to discuss possible solutions. Keeping open that line of communication is essential for a child's feeling of well being.

You brought up an important point that "The roles played by leaders as role models has never become more obvious than in the past year. Bullying and intolerance has risen and become more blatant because those perpetrating have been given the signal it is okay" It maybe that we notice more because of social media that brings things to our attention much more quickly than before.

Yesterday a horrific example of a leader sending out the wrong message. Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte publically incited the men of his country to freely rcommit sadistic acts against women who rebel against him. Effectively giving a stay out of jail card for a man to commit horrific crimes against women (including raping up to three women without redress) so long as the woman was suspected of being a rebel. In a country where bribes are a way of life this has serious connotations.

http://uk.businessinsider.com/philippine-president-duterte-threatened-women-2018-2?r=US&IR=T

^^ “Isn't this just what's going on between your president and Kim Jong-un right now???”

Exactly! On a much more horrific scale.

^^ “Isn't this just what's going on between your president and Kim Jong-un right now???”

Exactly! On a much more horrific scale.

It's such a shame that through out history humanity has had the capacity to do so much good yet it seems that so many leaders or people in power have instead caused bloodshed and grief. I often wonder if they were born cruel or whether having too much power changes them

I often think the type of person who seeks the highest forms of power is probably the type of person who shouldn’t have it. Of course it must be more complicated than that, but it’s hard not to think.

You have touched on the conundrum that the people most likely to seek power fall into two categories:

- those who seek power for personal reasons and will most likely abuse it

- those who seek power because they refuse to be ruled by lesser persons (Plato's benevolent philosopher kings)

Is there a specific book where Plato writes about benevolent philosopher kings? I want to read it. Sounds interesting.

The subject of cyber bullying has been raised recently (with no specific accusations being made as far as I am aware) However.... Internet trolling is something that should never be brushed under the carpet or minimised. Cyber bullying behavior is now a criminal act in the UK and is not acceptable behavior.

Being bullied online can affect someone enormously it can impact a person’s self-esteem, confidence and social skills. So think twice before you post anything on line because it's easy for posts or comments that you make online to be taken out of context. When bullying happens online there is no such thing as an innocent bystander. If you feel that someone is being bullied online you should report it to the Moderators. Ignoring it may feel like the easiest thing to do but the person who is being subjected to that bullying may need your help and support to get it stopped.

Don't engage in arguments online, this is called flaming and it can get nasty. It is illegal to upload anything which is offensive or racist and or which promotes physical harm so don't make threats to anyone. Neither are you allowed to harass people or to encourage other people to harass them. You're not supposed to ask for personal information from anyone under 18 either so if you are under 18 and anyone asks you, for instance, where you go to school, make sure you report them not only to the Moderators but also to the police.

Don’t spread rumours or make up false things about other people on site. You are not legally allowed to upload anything which is threatening, abusive or which is defamatory. It's defamatory if you say untrue things about someone which give them a bad reputation they don't deserve. It can also be classified as harassment which is a criminal offence in the UK.

We want P&Q to remain a safe place to be so please remain diligent - sometimes bullying can be subtle but if anyone feels at any time that they feel uncomfortable about something or that they feel like they are being bullied or see someone else who they feel is being bullied then please do not sit in silence - report it to the Moderators.

I'm 24, and I'm being bullied at work. My boss who keeps saying how unworthy of my position she thinks I am, and how "millions of people would die to have this job", and that I won't have my PhD because I'm not that hardworking, and that I should do this and that because she said so without paying any attention to what I have to say, BUT she keeps giving me good rates and asks her boss to keep me in her department whenever I ask to be removed. SHE'S CRAZY. I used to come back home after work to cry for hours. I thought about quitting a lot but I really loved and needed the job. She is the only thing bad about it. Now, I have thicker skin, and I learnt how to shut her up with nice words and a smile. But everytime I see her, I feel stressed.

I think emotional bullying is way worse than physical bullying. I haven't been physically bullied before so I wouldn't know for sure. But she makes me feel the worst.

If you feel that you are being bullied at work keep a diary of events dates, times witnesses where possible and what occurred. If you see other people are also being bullied it might be worth jotting those down too.

Then if the situation escalates or when you feel confident enough to raise an official complaint then you will have a much more coherent piece of evidence to support what you are saying.

It may well be that nothing can be done (if she also bullies her bosses) but the company has legal obligation to investigate alligations of bullying or open themselves to legal action as they have a duty of care to their employees.

There’ll be many people in our lives that want to see us fail, and will try to bully you, and many who are suffering themselves, that will also try to bully you. My mum always, always said to kill people with kindness, but that’s never easy! It’s also never easy to hear 100 people’s words of love and comfort over one person who makes your life hell. There are always arms we can crawl in to, always friends to vent at, but as soon as we leave, we are vulnerable again. It’s why we must repeat those words of support, like a mantra, a shield.

Your boss sounds like she needs help. Maybe she’s jealous, angry, bitter, has demons in her mind. Making someone feel unworthy might make her feel worth. There’s no easy way to remove the unease when you see a bully. But her presence is not a permanence, and I’m sure there are many many people who see your worth who matter.

I see bullying in my classrooms sometimes. It’s disgusting. I don’t just mean kids too, it’s mostly adults. Unfortunately bullies are still often victims too, and anger, punishment, isolation just often serve to make them worse.

You’re doing the right thing, Noura.

Edit: venting is always good!

I talked to the HR. They told me that I could ask to teach classes that aren't in her department. I approved right away. Then she manipulated her boss to think that it was a misunderstanding and that I was childish and sensitive. She has two PhDs and tens of experience years in other universities. Plus she is so GOOD at lying and manipulating people. I knew how dramatic she'd make me look. Her boss knows she's kinda passive-aggressive but he has no idea how offensive and bluntly mean she can be, so he told me he knows I was right but he wanted me to keep teaching the same classes and give it another chance. I said yes. She got nicer for a few weeks. Then when she insulted me again, I had lost the courage to report her again to the HR. She's sick. I don't hate easily, but god I HATE her.

Phew, felt good to vent.

Danny, I'm sure she has issues. She hates animals and holidays, so she definitely has issues. And maybe if she shows me just a little bit of her soft side, I'd totally sympathize with her, and just forget how awful she made me feel. But so far, she's the most spiteful thing ever (other co-workers think so as well).

How do you usually deal with students bullying their classmates?

Noura...I'm very sorry to hear about your ordeal and, I do hope you can sort it out soon. I want to give you the space I think you need to vent here and, hopefully get some advice that will help you deal with this situation so I wouldn't take up too much space. I do feel, however, that Milly aimed her earlier post today about 'cyber-bullying' at me so I'd like to address it now.

I feel Milly and some others, including Larry felt I was bullying Ben in the previous two threads regarding judging so I'd like to draw everyone's attention to Rule #1 of P & Q's rules and guidelines...

1. Most important rule: be respectful to other members. You can debate and disagree without being disrespectful or name-calling. Failure to be respectful may result in penalties.
-Minor swear words will be tolerated if not directed at other members, and if not used excessively.

I was always respectful in my posts, I debated and disagreed without being disrespectful. I never name-called (although I was on the receiving end of such on several occasions) . So, where and when did I appear to be cyber-bullying?

Noura...you look absolutely beautiful in your avatar (like a movie star) and maybe your boss is just jealous of that :)

I read a lot that you can tell a lot from a person from how they see and treat animals. That she hates animals is quite telling. Maybe she used to have a soft side. Maybe it’s enveloped in spitefulness and hate now.

It’s a sensitive thing because in school a lot of the victims don’t want the bully to know they’ve ‘told’ or ‘talked’. But the most important thing is to allow the victim to feel supported. That’s vital. I would talk with them in my office, tell them that bullying results in expulsion and they are not, and will never be alone. Then I would have the exact same conversation with the bully. Try to find a reason why they act like they do. Listen a lot. You’d be surprised how often it works. Separate the students to different classes, then monitor it.

Sometimes it doesn’t stop, then myself and the principal would talk with the bully again. Never raising voices. With adults, it’s much more difficult because often the ego prevents the bully from feeling like they’ve done anything wrong. If it continues, unfortunately they are expelled without refund.

The latter has only ever happened once, though.

I bet it's a very challenging job, especially when the parents of the bullies refuse to cooperate. I feel bad for all the kids whose parents taught them to be respectful and nice and are being bullied for it. I also feel bad for the bullies because god knows what turned them into bullies.

This article that was erased (unlawfully) was written by my sister in London to respond to the initial article about bullying::
Milly, this is an interesting article you have extracted from the original link. There are, however, a number of problems with it. Firstly, the title is not Bullying or Trolling, it is: ‘The Need for Attention’. Secondly, it is a rather didactic article full of contradictions. Attention seeking is different from internet trolling and most certainly bullying. The writer of the article tries to link these three very different phenomena without much evidence and any coherent reasoning. ?We all know that the concept of ‘bullying’ is meaningfully applicable when the perpetrator uses her/his superior strength or influence to intimidate someone. An individual or a group of people usually intimidate an individual in order to do something. It is a very dangerous phenomenon that has made some people’s lives very difficult; some have become very isolated and some even committed suicide. This happens frequently within the social media, particularly among politicians, political activists or teenagers…Here is a pertinent extract from Wikipedia: “One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict”. They use superior strength or influence to intimidate an individual, typically to force him or her to do something. Behaviours used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. ‘Internet trolling’ is entirely a different phenomenon and in a way, it is opposite of ‘bullying’ because here an individual targets a group. According to Wikipedia “trolling means a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting quarrels or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community with the intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal, on-topic discussion, often for the troll's amusement”. ?In addition, the notion of ‘Internet Trolling’ is very different from the notion of ‘attention-seeking’ or ‘poor me syndrome’. Most people who get engaged with social media are to some extent attention seekers. The excessive attention-seeking usually derives from a lack of confidence and feeling insecure and this put them in a position of ‘powerless’ that is the opposite of the bully. The writer, then quotes from Billi Gordon PhD in ‘Psychology Today’, that “the Excessive attention-seeking is a response to early developmental trauma”. So the first obvious conclusion from this assertion should be a sense of empathy for the individual because this person may suffer from a great deal of pain or trauma and perhaps the way to deal with this should be considered carefully. Without any examination or any further discussion on the subject, the writer jumps into another subject and claims that the ‘Internet trolling’ is a good example of this kind of attention-seeking. My question is: how the writer of this article arrives at such a conclusion without any reasoning? The internet Trolling can have many different grounds with completely different motives; attention-seeking could only be one of them; it can be due to ‘anger ‘or even ‘disagreement’, particularly, ‘political disagreement’ where the ‘naggings’ becomes a nuisance for polite society. At the end of the article, the writer concludes that attention-seeking behaviour also amounts to bullying. This claim as his other claims is asserted without any reasoning and qualification whatsoever. Finally, I believe that the main thrust of your post is rather polemical, particularly using sections of the article to advance your objective which only is targeting sustain the individual. The question then arises as to whether the function of your post is not simply to intimidate and render voice-less those disagreeing with you.

Thank you, Milly, for emphasizing on the importance of the bulling. I guess man always need to be careful around his/her fellow man because there are predators out there. The predators that not only bully the individuals but also those who use the fact of bullying, against others for personal vendettas. So, therefore, we must have a very clear definition of bullying.
But neither in your rehashing nor in the original thread there aren't any clear lines between bullying, trolling, Attention seeking... You describe one and jump on the other. You portray trolling, attention-seeking,.. then mix and condemn them all as bulling. Like you very deliberately trying to confuse:
Milly said:"The subject of cyberbullying has been raised recently (with no specific accusations being made as far as I am aware) "
"with no specific accusations being made "?? so then explain if Hollen wasn’t the target, why for example did the bully warning was exactly posted in the Hellon thread when she was engaged in arguing with…? And whyLarry went with it? Now you say you did not mean anything by it?? You did not want to stain her name? Okay, I take your word for it.

I think one should be always careful because this way bullying has become open to interpretation, used as a weapon. They can be suggestive and poisonous, look at the logistics and the timing of them. And as you know calling someone BULLY is the ultimate weapon, not for the weak, unfortunately, but for the wickets. For as soon as someone picks that up, everyone would be so reluctant to look to see otherwise. 

"Behind the smile, a hidden knife!"

Ancient Chinese proverb describing passive-aggressive behavior

I wonder if anyone here would be able to admit if they've ever been a bully? Funny how most (all?) of us can recall times we've been bullied. How many can recall times they've bullied?

One of my good friends told me there was a time in high school when he bullied a guy in his class. Even though, now, he's a gentleman. He said he really regrets it, and he doesn't know what made him do it.

During high school, I was the slim nerdy girl with big round glasses. I don't remember being bullied or bullying anyone, though. Thankfully. I used to be super sensitive, so it would have completely destroyed my self-esteem.