Poet of the Fortnight #19: Ben (May 11 - May 25, 2018)

Hey Brenda......that's very sweet of you to say, like most things some days are harder than others but children are a blessing and mine has his cute moments....apart from doing this flossing thing every time he walks into a room...it is quite unnerving to see your 10 year old child girating like his life depended on it hahaha ..........oh I hear you 100% the majority of the time i'm logged in to PnQ i'm at work with you all sneakily tucked up in the corner of my monitor :) when i get a sec to dig it out i will pm you the recipe no worries i am thinking of starting a recipe thread on here hahaha we have too many people from all over the globe keeping recipes to them selves whilst i could be eating them!!!

LP is so unique i love her style and her lyrics are sublime for sure.....Music is such a wonderful expression of the human condition..there is nothing else like it :)))

I'm glad you've enjoyed our little QnA I have to admit it has been fun and questions kinda interesting, I've spent alot of time in Israel, my ex was an Israeli, we were together for about five years and we use to travel there at least four times a year, although her father spoke good english her mother didn't and from a guys point of view if you can't talk to your girls mother then you have no business being with said girl...so I started to teach myself, the girlfriend at the time had no patients so she didn't help too much in the beginning until i got to a certain conversational level lol but that was ok, i like being left alone to work things out it feels like more of an accomplishment, i think that languages are quite easy to learn, it's all on the approach of it which determines how well you learn them.

I started with numbers and greetings, then colours and foods - after that i learned probably 40 ish phrases and then mixed it all up - it's funny for everyday conversation we use a surprisingly limited vocabulary and so once you have those things under your belt you just add to your arsenal of words as you talk and before you know it you can say more than you think you can, the thing i found most frustrating about it was that i found i could understand ALOT more than i could say (which ultimately helped in the end) it was strange to hear something and fully grasp it but not reply lol

Do you speak any languages? or if you don't what would you like to learn?

The most influential person/people in your life?

What is something you hope people remember of you when you're gone?

Funniest/most embarrasing experience?

Hey Little p :)

The most influential person/people in your life?

There is a guy called Christopher Hitchens, he died a few years back and was truly one of the last remaining active free thinkers of our time, he often debated against the religious not for their right to follow a particular religion but to say that there is a line that people shouldn't cross when it comes to their religion, as in, just because someone follows a certain belief it doesn't give them the right to tell everyone else what to do or force their religion on others just because they believe they have a greater moral compass as their god is "the right" god.....what i like about him is that if it became law that no one was allowed to follow a religion he would have stood up and been counted shoulder to shoulder for their right to follow their faith.

He was the first person to introduce "Divine Command Theory" to me - which in short is the Theory that Whatever someones god tells them is morally and ethically right - so if god decided and all people with ginger hair were marked by satan and should be destroyed the believer would feel that this was morally acceptable. Hitchens had his last year occupied by this topic but it was not his lifes work, he was a broadcaster for a time, author and columnist and although offended alot of people his point of view on many things was pretty spot on (in my opinion) if anyone wanted to see what i mean there are hundreds of debates and interviews with Hitchens on youtube which you'll see what i am talking about but don't take him at face value, his intellect and command of language was second to none and even if people do not agree with what he is saying you can't help but smile at his somewhat sarcastic and smart ass oratory.....he was a legend and we are definitely poorer... his point of view was often that even if you don't agree with him, do the thought experiment yourself on the subject he's talking about, you WILL learn something....and probably quite alot :)

if I chose another it would either be my son or my mum, both for the same reason, i Love them more than I could ever say and my life is so much richer for having them in it.

What is something you hope people remember of you when you're gone?

That I wasn't all that bad and perhaps made them smile and feel like they were liked or loved, I try to be a good person and thoughtful to how my actions affect other, I have failed many times but this is the ongoing struggle, to be a better person.

Funniest/most embarrassing experience?

Funniest - Dressed as a drag queen in a very expensive bridesmaid dress for charity with four other guys on the back of a truck at a local festival where "beauty queens" from all around the area were in the procession we had a set route through out the town and we were very drunk, my sash has "miss stake" written on it and half way through each truck stopped, "beauty Queens" got off to have their photo taken with the mayor and then back on to finish the procession.....when it came to us lots of people were joking and laughing and we may have got a bit carried away....i nearly got arrested for smacking the mayors butt lol

Goood questions

EDIT: I didn't realised I missed some Sorry!!

Back from New York! Landed in Reno a couple of hours ago. Questions coming tonight sometime :)

Ltm glad you had a safe flight! I always end up with huge delays in new York lol I'll look forward to them :)

Thanks, Ben! My flight was safe, though it was of course delayed, and the trip was made extra long because the plane had to reroute further north before coming south again. On the way to NY, our flight was delayed 3 hours and re-routed as well. Storms a'brewing all along the east coast. Thunderstorms and rain in Nevada lately too. Hopefully we get some nicer weather soon. I prefer warm days and sunshine.

Comments while reading through your PotF thread:
Oh, a house bunny - is she potty trained or does she poop all over the place?

I need a landscaper in my life. We tore up the front lawn and plan to turn it into a dry garden, but I want it to look attractive and intentional, not like we’ve let the weeds grow. Can you come over and design my front yard, pretty please?

"I'd live completely off grid, log cabin somewhere remote, raise animals, grow veggies, solar and water power for electricity it would be as close to bliss as I'd care to get :)"
Ooh la la. Sounds wonderful. Can I come?

A good cook too. You’re the real deal.

"Lamb Kashmiri - Indian in origin, has lots of coconut and almonds with sticky coconut rice - inbox me if you want a recipe :)"
I hope I remember to pm you, but can you send the recipe in case I forget? I love, love, love Indian food and trying new recipes. This sounds exquisite. Please dig it up and send it! Yes, let’s also start a recipe thread. Good idea.

I like most of the musicians you named, but I have to give you props for including BB King, ZZ Top (the older stuff, yep), and Ben Howard.

"i think that languages are quite easy to learn"
You must have a knack for them. I like your strategy. I suppose we do tend to have the same conversations over and over again with most people :)

Will definitely need to check out Christopher Hitchens. The Divine Command Theory got me thinking, which I suppose is the point.

Okay, onto my questions. I'll ask half today and half tomorrow:

Question #1: Are you typically early, late, or right on time? Why?
Question #2: Would you rather explore outer space where no man's gone before or explore the depths of the ocean, which we still know so little about even though it's on our own planet?
Question #3: If you could enter the mind of one person and explore their thoughts and feelings, having the opportunity to truly understand how their mind works, who would you choose and why? (they can be dead or alive)
Question #4: If you had to choose one cause to dedicate your life to, what would that cause be?
Question #5: What life-altering things should every human ideally get to experience at least once in their lives?

hahaha I hear you Jane there are always delays in NY!!

I have to copy and paste point to point as my rum glass was full earlier and now not so much lol ;)

Oh, a house bunny - is she potty trained or does she poop all over the place?

- yes lops is fully house trained, they're just like dogs but without the begging...but definitely more attitude - when a rabbit is pissed they have no qualms about letting it known!

I need a landscaper in my life. We tore up the front lawn and plan to turn it into a dry garden, but I want it to look attractive and intentional, not like we’ve let the weeds grow. Can you come over and design my front yard, pretty please?

That depends....how good are your biscuits and gravy....we don't have them in the UK and i miss them like you wouldn't believe, it is a travesty.

"I'd live completely off grid, log cabin somewhere remote, raise animals, grow veggies, solar and water power for electricity it would be as close to bliss as I'd care to get :)"
Ooh la la. Sounds wonderful. Can I come?

Defo, a farmstead would be the best, three or four families living on a plot of land each with their own homes quite far apart but with commuial farmland to wor together on, it would be amazing.

A good cook too. You’re the real deal.

"Lamb Kashmiri - Indian in origin, has lots of coconut and almonds with sticky coconut rice - inbox me if you want a recipe :)"
I hope I remember to pm you, but can you send the recipe in case I forget? I love, love, love Indian food and trying new recipes. This sounds exquisite. Please dig it up and send it! Yes, let’s also start a recipe thread. Good idea.

YESSSSSS!!! on all accounts! :)

I like most of the musicians you named, but I have to give you props for including BB King, ZZ Top (the older stuff, yep), and Ben Howard.

BB King especially is a hero of mine, blues feeds the soul unlike any kind of music....imo

"i think that languages are quite easy to learn"
You must have a knack for them. I like your strategy. I suppose we do tend to have the same conversations over and over again with most people :)

Will definitely need to check out Christopher Hitchens. The Divine Command Theory got me thinking, which I suppose is the point.

Yes you must, idk if you are religious or not but try to be as open minded as possible when watching/reading him, his life experiences and complete dedication to free thinking and research into not just religion but societies old and new are both insightful and humbling, like i said he was one of the (if not THE) free thinking and enlightened people of our age, on who's thought and ideas should be taken note for the betterment of all our futures.

Okay, onto my questions. I'll ask half today and half tomorrow:

Question #1: Are you typically early, late, or right on time? Why?

On time for sure, I think for the most part if you say a time you should stick to it, time is one of those things that are our enemy as humans, we can never get it back so we should make the most of every second, take chances and if they don't work out learn from them....and don't be late, it's bad enough to waste your own time but to waste someone else's is so disrespectful, like i say we can never get it back.

Question #2: Would you rather explore outer space where no man's gone before or explore the depths of the ocean, which we still know so little about even though it's on our own planet?

Love this question because i have a love for both :)

There are as you say still parts of the ocean we haven't explored and for anyone interested just google "amazing underwater discoveries" and click on "images" you will find the most amazing things to go read about and see.....the underwater world is just that, another world. But, to see something like the Atlantis Nebular, or to peer over the edge of the event horizon would be unimaginably beautiful. to quote Hitchens " Just take one look at the Images seen through the Hubble telescope and try not to be awestruck at the majesty" - this is so true, if you have never do it I would defo recommend it and not just to look but to see......when you are looking at many many Galaxies in one viewing try to comprehend exactly what you are looking at :)

Question #3: If you could enter the mind of one person and explore their thoughts and feelings, having the opportunity to truly understand how their mind works, who would you choose and why? (they can be dead or alive)

omg there are so many...... for a somewhat sober answer I would have to say Alfie, my boy. His mother has little if nothing to do with him and he struggles with ADHD and is on the autism spectrum I worry for him as he grows, to be able to do this would help me help him (if that makes sense)

For a slightly light hearted answer, Mr.Darcy - so i could stand naked in a room of mirrors and admire myself lololol - only kidding :)))

It'd be Marcus Aurelius today, I've been reading his writing in the "Meditations" and he fascinates me, the last true emperor of Rome before it all went to shit;

Rome back in the day although impressive for their time isn't really an interest of mine or anything but his readings are very thought provoking and I believe him to bean interesting Stoic.

Question #4: If you had to choose one cause to dedicate your life to, what would that cause be?

If time and money were no option.....I think it would be an international peace thing, as much as we like to blow our own trumpets as humans we are still very much in our infancy. The main consensus between astrophysicists is that our sun is about half way through it's life which gives us 5.5 - 6/5 billions of years left before we all get a bit toasty and the humans (if we survive that long) will be completely different from us in almost all cases. when you look back at history, science and philosophy were for want of a better expression outlawed and put on hold for hundred and hundreds of years....imagine where we would be in terms of medicine and technology, if we had much of the technology and wisdom we have now, back then......it is fact (as wells as rum fuelled ramblings)......but if you don't do the thought experiment you're not thinking about it seriously.

The reason for my incontinent ramblings are going off on one is because all this and my answer to the last question is to make a point that there are far more worthy things to hold our attention and interest. To make humans push towards the boundaries (wherever they are) of their potential, currently we squabble and bicker over things that we should have learned our lessons over a long time ago, race religion, land are all things that are important but not important enough to kill and argue over. The faith I have is that there will be a time when we can celebrate our differences rather than to use them as an excuses to be shitty to each other.

Question #5: What life-altering things should every human ideally get to experience at least once in their lives?

Sharing a sunrise & sunset in silence with someone, love, the sound of the forest in spring, fresh coffee in the morning, snow, mountains, Drunken sex where you both end up laughing, the first time your child looks at you, watching the stars on a summer night (all night), to have that one friend who you can tell anything to, watching a rock band live :) yup that sound pretty cool :)

"omg there are so many...... for a somewhat sober answer I would have to say Alfie, my boy. His mother has little if nothing to do with him and he struggles with ADHD and is on the autism spectrum I worry for him as he grows, to be able to do this would help me help him (if that makes sense)"

That you would choose your son is a testament to your goodness. Beautiful answer.

"Sharing a sunrise & sunset in silence with someone, love, the sound of the forest in spring, fresh coffee in the morning, snow, mountains, Drunken sex where you both end up laughing, the first time your child looks at you, watching the stars on a summer night (all night), to have that one friend who you can tell anything to, watching a rock band live :) yup that sound pretty cool :)"

Once I complete this one -- the first time your child looks at you -- I will have checked off all items on your list. It's a good list! I agree with all :)

I know I said I would ask the last 5 a few days ago. Alas, I was out of town *again* and have only slept in my own bed once in 2 weeks. Returning home tonight, but I will ask my final 5 questions now before packing up.

Question #6: What are four of your favorite physical features (of your own)?
Question #7: What are three things that others might like, but you consider deal breakers for a romantic relationship?
Question #8: What manners do you practice and/or think are important when eating meals at a table with company?
Question #9: Two quotes you try to live by?
Question #10: What are your favorite smells?

Thank you Jane for having me as the POTF it has been loads of fun :)

Also, thank you to everyone for the very kind reception and all questions on the thread!

So, to the questions....

Question #6: What are four of your favorite physical features (of your own)?

Four?? Lol ok well, I guess….Hair (still got mine) tattoos, eyeballs and me wang (every boy loves his lol) :)

Question #7: What are three things that others might like, but you consider deal breakers for a romantic relationship?

Monogamy – some people are ok without it and obviously everyone should live their life how they want to as long as it doesn’t negatively impact on others - as long as everyone is open at the beginning of a relationship it shouldn’t be a problem. But for me, cheating /multiple partners is a no no.

Honesty (not really something that others might like but this is massive for me) – just be honest about who you are and what you want out of life, you don’t have to lie to make yourself more “attractive or interesting” because (for the most part anyways) we all want to find that someone to love and be loved ourselves and because it is such an innate characteristic of humans we need to always be honest where these things are concerned – if you lie and someone falls in love with you then they don’t love you they love the lie - this is not good for you and unfair on them (I defer you to my “wasting time” answer) - we should want people to love us for who we are faults and all because that’s what we have to work with, we meet people throughout our life, falling in love, breaking up and we experience a whole myriad of emotions etc we all make mistakes and we are all on a journey which teaches us about ourselves so just be honest about what you want: it is worse to stay with someone because you’re afraid of hurting their feelings than to break up with them and both of you can find your paths again. Wow….lol….exorcising some demons there lol Honesty is the biggest deal breaker – if you lie and cheat then it is a deal breaker so just be honest because if you kill someone I’ll be the first one there to help with a shovel (a little extreme perhaps but you get my premise :) )

Food sharing – do not defile my plate by stealing food from it lol if it is love you will know that it is ok but if you wanted fries with your food then you should have ordered them! Don’t steal all of mine and then flutter your eyelashes like it makes up for your behavior….it doesn’t work…..get your own damn fries!! ltm

Question #8: What manners do you practice and/or think are important when eating meals at a table with company?

Ugh……the constant battle with my own issues surrounding this is never ending, especially with my boy lol – I don’t want to see the food in your mouth when your eating….the small projectiles that fly out of the corner of some ones mouth when talking with a mouthful of food is quite possibly something that could turn me into a serial killer, slurping a drink….omfg……this is too much, I shouldn’t be able to hear someone drinking in a room full of people talking and eating (not at the same time obviously lol) – Manners cost nothing but mean a hell of a lot!!! Don’t talk with your mouthful, slurp your drink or generally be a freakin animal at the dinner table.

Question #9: Two quotes you try to live by?

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” - Marcus Aurelius - Because this is so true.

“Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust.” - Lawrence M. Krauss - Because I am not Religious in any sense of the word but there is numinous and wonder in the universe and i greet it with open arms.

Question #10: What are your favorite smells?

Pine forests in the summer, Black Opium Perfume (YSL), Fresh Coffee, Hugo Boss Night (Mens), Hugo Boss Orange (Womens & Mens)
Weed, Pancakes, fresh bread, my mums Casseroles and new baby smell ... and petrol/gas :)

"I don’t want to see the food in your mouth when your eating" Yes, this makes me lose my appetite. Chew with your mouths closed, ya heathens!

You like the smell of petrol?! Wow, that's a new one on me.

Ben, you've been a real rock star. It's been great getting to know you better during your time in the sun. Glad you are a part of our community here.

Lol "Chew with your mouths closed, ya heathens!" - this Genuinly made me lol ... so freakin true!

Thanks for having me in the sun its been fun with some interesting questions :) and I'm glad to be here too.....again ;)

I love the smell of gasoline as well, but that may just be the pyro in me...

Ditto Tony ......... there's something a bit.....neanderthal about it lol....or is that just me....:)