Weekly Contest Winners - May 28, 2018

Hello! Hope you all had a great weekend. This week I believe the competition was fierce! 3 winners won the judges' majority votes and 1 close HM! Congrats to all readers, writers, and those who make sure they bring the beautiful poetry forward for us all to read.

And the poems that will grace the front page for this week are:

*Almost Nine by Sai: 30 Points (10 + 10 + 10)
*Jealousy among the Thorns by William Mae: 18 points (7 +7 + 4)
*Sand castles by Jamie: 17 points ( 10 + 7)

Thanks for all judges who commit week after week, your valuable time and dedication are both deeply appreciated.

~Rania

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*Almost Nine by Sai: 30 Points*

Almost Nine by Sai (10)

When reading through all the nominated poems, this is the one that stood out from all the others.

When a poem launches you into a moment, like a phone showing a text; it catapults the reader into a poet’s intended time and space. Then, just as immediate, the cold words ‘Johnny is dead’
From this point, I felt I shared the shock, or at least, an intense flavour, described so vividly by this poet.

Using the repeated word, ‘suddenly’ to describe time lapsing, grieving moments worked extremely well. I also liked the varying length of sentences, from, short and stabbing, to long, weaving torturous examples. This, I felt, showed how grief can be. It can leave you feeling dirty with the knowledge of it, paralysed from shock it and punch drunk from the attack of it.

This poet’s opens up their heart, bearing their experience, like an open wound for our scrutiny. Into this wound, that is not healing and probably will never do so, I weep. And just like grief, all roads lead back to that time and lit phone.

This week, without hesitation, I award, an outstanding: 10 points

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Almost Nine by Sai (10)

The eviceral pain is so terribly real that it seems to flow onto the page directly from the grief center of the brain. Excruciatingly, palpably “there.”

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Almost Nine by Sai (10)

"The reason I had no hesitation in choosing this poem to give my 10, is because of the poet's vulnerability in sharing such a painful moment in time that isn't ever easy to live through. I found it beautiful that the poet gave the name, but almost like sharing anything else about Johnny at that time would be too personal, crossing a line. All we know as the readers is that Johnny's presence was warm and vibrant.

I find it heartwrenching that we remember odd things at the precise moment our lives change, such as the poet remembering the text was received at almost 9, then the chaos and way a human can go on auto pilot and make it through a day without realizing what really happened or any specifics, like the music turning on and five hours passing...

The line that struck me the most was "and I can't move so I wiggle my toe because I read that in a book once and I got it to move which means I'm not paralysed, which means my soul
is just drunk and maybe I want to stay drunk like this forever."

There's raw desperation and a yearning to go back to before. I feel the frenzy, the franctic need to move in this piece, the darkness and need to "wash off" the bad news like it will just disappear... then the reality of having to face something you don't want to be true.

My heart is with you. I hope you find healing and comfort in some way. It is powerful and brave to share a poem about loss as you grieve and remember and live for this person." (10)

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*Jealousy among the Thorns by William Mae Points 18 points:*

Jealousy among the Thorns by William Mae (7)

This week I chose this gem to highlight. Four rhyming quatrains, written as delicately as the petals of the said rose.

The poem begins with a question. This is always a good way to engage the reader. How does the positive rose thrive, despite being surrounded by thorns on a jealous vine?

I liked the personification of the vine and its feelings of jealousy towards the rose. A rose commanding all the attention, whilst the vine goes unnoticed.

Although this poem works on a literal sense, for me, it works also as a metaphor for human nature. A diva, perhaps, surrounded by their green-eyed entourage. But like fame, beauty seldom lasts forever. After beauty fades and the thorns have gone, we are all left with vines – but who notices them anyway?

One small note – a typo with the word ‘cares’

Unlike the vines, I noticed this poem and so, will award a fragment: 7 points

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Jealousy among the Thorns by William Mae (7 )

The vines' jealous of the roses that adorn it - what a wonderful idea. And why wouldn't they be? As the author points out at the end, there is still so much life to behold when the roses have withered and gone. They do not last through all the seasons; their life is fleeting and yet - because they are beautiful - that is the only part of the plant that is noticed.

This poem has an awful lot of depth to it. If a lady or a gentleman go out in all their finery for a night on the tiles, are they more deserving of attention than if they had left the house with no suit or no makeup and had just gone as they were - branches without roses? Or, put another way, are they less deserving of attention when they come back in and remove the gloss? Underneath it all, they are the same person.

We, as a race, are too often consumed by the superficial. We see roses, but we refuse to see the thorns. We notice the obvious beauty, but frequently ignore the often far more appealing subtleties. Anyway, before I start ranting, I will award this 7 points! Well done.

*Just a quick pointer to "the simple answers jealousy" - this should be "answer's" as it's a contraction of 'answer is'.

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Jealousy among the Thorns by William Mae ( 4)

Although roses and thorns are a common theme it think this treatment was well done indeed. The final account that the branches remain ignored punctuates the futility of jealousy.

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*Sand castles by Jamie 17 points*

Sand castles by Jamie (10)

Another beautifully crafted etheree from Jamie this week that sees him making sand castles out of perfectly placed words and syllable counts! I don't really have an awful lot to say about this piece; not because I am too lazy to write a longer comment, simply because some pieces of poetry need don't need to be broken down. The imagery and craft displayed here is enough and it's certainly more than deserving of my 10 points. Well done on this.

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Sand Castles (etheree) by Jamie (7)

Fanciful and delightful. Turns a young child’s activity into a shared event. Imagery is clear and enveloping.

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*Yue by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko 14 points*

Yue by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko (7)

The wound is the place where the light enters you. You don't need any moon to shine yourself in times of despair. You are as bright as the sun. The metaphors you used might burn your tongue, but they healed my soul.

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"Yue by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko (7)

"This poem not only flowed gracefully but was touching in reference to this person who shares their light with you. I felt warmth, acceptance and selflessness in this piece, as this companion has perhaps sacrificed a little bit to share with the world. It really is wondrous to imagine what has the strength and potency to cast out sorrow and shadow, because so often we feel lost and misguided without a source of inspiration. After reading this piece, I wasn't sure if this person is distant but still a part of your life, as you mention you still write these poems, choosing to be vulnerable. A poignant piece that truly shines from one's soul." (7)

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Recognition by Ben (10)

If the spoken words are so majestic, I am sure the unspoken ones are eternal on the sheets of space and time. This poem entered my heart with the speed of light, something, like its structure. I adore the love poems written by you.

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Mothers sun (English sonnet) by Michael (4)

A sonnet about nature. Who could possibly begrudge me awarding points to this? As soon as I saw read this, I knew it would feature it this week.

Interestingly, the author has decided to not used the rhyme scheme that is traditionally associated with this form. The English sonnet has the following rhyme scheme: a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g. This sonnet uses, arguably, a more challenging rhyme scheme of: a-b-a-b, a-b-a-b, a-b-a-b, c-c. Although I appreciated the creativity, an English sonnet is a strict form for a reason. Perhaps, a footnote, or omitting the word English, would help?

Aside from this, the poem expresses itself delightfully. In the month of May, we are appreciating warmer weather and already having a taste of summer. The first quatrain bids farewell to Winter and its array of rather nasty weather. I like the idea of seasons ruling over the lands, then abdicating, allowing the next season to be crowned. This is one of many delights of sonnet writing, the iambs and rhyme often dictate how the writer portrays their intent.

The poem then speaks of zest and bird song. The early morning light, so different from the dark mornings. Birds seem to wake earlier and earlier, singing with joy for the new day. It really is enough to make the darkest mood melt and want to raise their arms in the summer wing. At last, it took so long, but, oh, it was worth it.

This week, I award, a fresh, spring-like: 4 points

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Windsor's fairytale 19th May 2018 (haiku sonnet) by Mr Darcy (4)

I have awarded this my 4 points this week for two reasons: 1) it is current and it is an event that captured much of the world's imagination and 2) simply because the form fascinated me and the author's execution of it impressed me. The day captured perfectly in 14 poetic lines. Excellent.

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shine by CJ Maleney (4)

Reminded me of this movie, a wrinkle in time. Cj, always motivating others, your poems are as bright as light. Keep up the good work, mate.

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"Something I have long forgotten" by Mortal Utopia (4)

"I read so much mysticism in this piece, and whether this was a human being you were referring to or an intangible presence, there's a sense of peace. I love the self-assurance and stability of the reminder: "(for you will never fade)", and that your hope lies in this. This is all that remains. Short but powerful to ponder."

Some truly fantastic work this week that must have been very difficult to choose from. Congratulations are in order for every poet highlighted.

Ben

Wonderful poetry! Congrats to the winners and HMs alike. Thank you judges for your diligence and thank you Rania for hosting.

Congratulations to the Winners and HM's!!! Thank you, Judges, for the hardwork and the lovely comments, and Ms. Rania for hosting, also to Jamie for the nomination. (:

Keeping this short and sweet as the sun is shining and the lakes are calling, motorcycle awaits.

Congrats to all winners and hm's

Dips ones head to all judges and mods.

Massive thanks to whoever voted on mine and to whoever nominated it. Can't thank you personally as I didn't realise it had been.

Regards

Craig

Congrats to all the front page winners and HM's! Beautiful writing all around. Rania, thank you for hosting and as always judges for your time and hard work.

Congratulations to all! Thank you to our dedicated judges, Rania for hosting and all the poets for sharing their work.

Congrats HMs & Winners alike, beautiful poetry this week and a big thank you to the Judges for all your time and effort especially the wonderful comment for my poem...very humbling :)

Ben

Hi All :)

well done to all the front page splashers and all HMs awarded. thank you to the judge for voting my poem and comments. You can take the English out of the sonnet(which I will haha) but not the man ;)

Thank you Rania for hosting, and to all the judges for their time and efforts.

Much love M:)x

Congrats to the Winners as well.as HM's
Thank you judges and thank you for hosting
Raina :)

Congratulations all :) another fab week of poetry.