Weekly Contest Results, 9 July 2018

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Being down and out implies a great loss, but destitution is only one aspect of the situation. Today’s winners provide a rare montage of three very different ways people are down and out. Sai shows the way a profoundly depressed person copes with her condition privately, stuffing her experience. Michael’s whimsical work follows his experience as he descends into troubled slumber and awakes. MU makes it two wins in two weeks, with two sets of judges, as he sadly depicts two broken people no longer able to find themselves a meaningful place in their continued lives.
Congrats to all three and to the HMs as well.

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Front Page Winners:
Today, I overflowed by Sai 20 Points
Dead to the world by Michael 14 Points
Broken Vases by Mortal Utopia 18 Points
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Honorably Mentioned:
Please Listen Closely... by Love 11 Points
Subjective Reality by Aegis 10 Points
Yesterday Is History Tomorrow Is A Mystery Today Is A Present by CJ Maleney 10 Points
The Tower of Babel (Losing You) by Love 7 Points
You by Love 7 Points
Love of an Old man by Lyn Aribaca 4 Points
Out of Rhythm and Blues by Larry Chamberlin 4 Points

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Today, I overflowed by: Sai 10 Points
There's such a dreaminess to this piece, especially in the line that the sun took notice of you, and painted you gold in "all the right places". That line was so pleasant to read, like perhaps the warmth and glow of the sun, the way it knew where you needed it the most, helped you in a subtle but important way.
The "I no longer bleed" gave such depth to this piece, and made me think several things. That a part of you is outlined, whole, understood that you no longer seep into other areas that you know won't satisfy you. Or that "bleeding" is a result of emotions bottled up, where eventually need to release them. The final stanza especially highlighted the need to let go, and that image of flooding one's self made me think of sacrifice and the way we try to preserve others instead of helping ourselves.
The layout and simple repetition of "later" works so well and makes your voice clearly stand out. I've noticed an earnest voice in your poems and I am always delighted to read them. You have a genuine way of conveying your emotions, capturing imagery and being honest with yourself. So many layers to this piece!
My only suggestion would be to make this all in present tense to read with a better flow, so changing "watched" to "watch" and "I lied in bed" to "I lie in bed". But if you were aiming for past tense in the first two stanzas to lead into the transition later, I believe (I just had to look it up to clarify) that "I lied" should be "I lay", if you're using the past tense of "lie", since you are resting and not laying something/ an object down. (10)

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Today I overflowed by Sai 10 Points
I'm a sucker for a poem that seems like it was written by somebody on the same wavelength as me. A very thought provoking piece that hurtles then stops then hurtles again. I love the repetition of later to build tension and the imagery and darkness throughout struck a chord with me. I haven't read much of Sai’s stuff but after this gem I shall be reading more. (10 Points)

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Dead to the world by Michael 10 Points
Savory words mixed with touching thoughts, the metaphor is dazzling with visually stimulating word messages- Life is exhausting and can be draining when you lay awake and over-think or just ponder. Hallucinating visual masterpiece...Love this!!

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Dead to the world by Michael 4 Points
There is this crisp rawness to this piece — like fried bitter gourd — and many of us have felt this feeling described by the poet sometime in our lives, and it is raw, bitter, and unpleasant but we still need to chew on this feeling whenever it decides to stay with us.
I personally loved certain descriptions and imagery — castaway on shores, waves rolling like a camera, memories displayed like pop-up books, images of former partners — such raw expressions. And the poem kept getting better and better as I moved on towards the end, with perfect words to describe the feeling of being lost as one is falling from great heights, and wishing to wake up to all of it as if it was just a bad dream. But it isn't, is it?

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Broken Vases by Mortal Utopia 7 Points
This Got me at 'fractured fragility' There is strong emotion in this piece that lights up the screen. Great depth of character and storytelling in this piece. No filler words, the poem is stripped bare down to its essentials. Good job (7 Points)

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Broken Vases by: Mortal Utopia 4 Points
I love the concept of "fractured fragility" and how it can give you strength. There's a certain vulnerability in that and it was very poignant how you wrote "so close to tears and so close to courage". Often times, when our soul or minds are fragile, we are braver than we know or realize. There's such comfort in this piece and such a strong sense of companionship, it warmed my heart. Not to mention how you referenced the elements of nature, not necessarily trying to tear you apart but perhaps embrace or make you whole again. That final image of being a broken vase, yet still holding onto past raindrops, that's something profound to think about. That the broken pieces still carry and hold on. I felt less alone reading this gem and it was very touching. A meaningful write. (4)

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Broken Vases by Mortal Utopia 7 Points
The imagery of two broken vases lying there yet still intact with feelings for each other and it will remain as such even after. This can also be related to two people who deeply care for each other and are there for each other through it all. Perhaps my interpretation may be wrong but that is the picture I get in this...nicely penned.

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Please listen closely... by Love 4 Points
I picked this for my 4 purely because it's an important subject to discuss, I also like the layout, different to anything else nominated this week. I think poetry has an important place in the arts and is a relevant voice. I also like to see poetry bounding along ignoring stringent rules previously drummed in to us all. This ticks both boxes for me. Well done (4 Points)

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Please Listen Closely... by: Love 7 Points
Such an honest poem that needs to be heard. I often feel like people who don't experience or struggle with depression feel they have the authority to make all sorts of assumptions, as if it is really that easy to simply get over with and move on from. It's such a contradiction sometimes when we want to get better but our mind tells us differently, trying to bring us further into despair and hopelessness. I liked the way you played with the format (tick tick tick) and then the parenthesis with nothing in them. Because it's hard to explain depression to those who mistake it for "just another bad day". You indeed become voiceless, and I resonated with this piece so much. I also wanted to comment that there aren't always known and visible signs of suicide. When depression or other mental illnesses try to muffle you, not every person shows the same signs or symptoms, especially if the person doesn't know how to communicate what's so hard to understand, that inner battle. And the people surrounding this person, if there is a good support system, can only do their best to help.
Just one critique: I think "Try to image it..." should be "try to imagine it"
An important, emotional write. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us, especially to bring awareness (7)

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Subjective reality by Aegis 10 Points
This is indeed very beautiful — perfect portrayal of how in few words, something beautiful is created. Reminds me of Gatsby — a reminder of an old love — your words as beautiful as the ones I felt while watching daisy breathe on screen. But I wonder what has made the poet call this work, "a subjective reality".

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Yesterday Is History Tomorrow Is A Mystery Today Is A Present by CJ Maleney (10 points)
An inspirational write! From start to end the perfect rhymes flows and it tells of life’s experiences finishing off with a thought. Yes lets forget the past and live for a new tomorrow, lets forget minute fights and keep your loved ones and friends close for they are the ones who will be there for you till the end...loved the read!

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The tower of Babel by love 7 Points
By having used language as the symbol of love, when I first read this, I was instantly in love with this, and approaching towards the end, I had taken to Google this tower of Babel the poet speaks about (because I wasn't aware of it until then). Upon learning, the variety in which the poet used this concept was marvelous. I was in all praise. Wonderfully used and written.

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You By Love7 Points
Romantic revelations, I admire the elegance of few words with a massive message attached. This was beautiful and eye opening. To gather your thoughts about a person who has touched your soul is breathtaking in any form, in my opinion and Love crafted beauty this week!

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Love of an Old man by Lyn Aribaca 4 Points
This is a nice little write that tells a little story about love using nature to depict feelings and image. I also like the subtle rhymes that has been used here and it makes this poem an enjoyable read!

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Out of Rhythm and Blues By Larry Chamberlin 4 Points
This rhyme is rhythmic and fun! The message speaks of musicians and the tough road they play, growing older and leading a more stable life. I truly love the visuals and it can lead to a metaphoric message of age and meaning of life. The reference to The Beatles and Bob Dylan put a smile upon my face. Awesome poem by Larry!

[PS: Thanks to the judge for the lovely comment on Out of R&B]

Congrats to all the fab winners, HMs and nominees!

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Congrats to all our winners and HMs! Wonderful work. A big thank you to our judges and Larry for hosting.

Have a great week, everybody! :)

Well done one and all. :D

Thanks everyone! And to answer the judge's comment about naming my piece what I did, "an itch on a missing limb that I sleep next to" was the main point behind the title. Just a little something that my mind interprets differently than it actually is. Much love:)

Congratulations everyone, enjoy your win, and big thanks to our new judges and how can we forget our hard working moderators(sir Larry the best)

Congrats to all the Winners and HM's
Thank you judges and thank you Sir L for hosting :)

Hi all,

thank you to Larry for hosting this weeks competition.

Congratulations to all the front page poets and all HMs awarded
A big thank you to the judges that chose my poem, and the wonderful comments left, Mr Darcy for nominating

Much love
Michael :)x

Thank you so much judges, Moderators, Larry for giving your valuable time. I am grateful to all of you and the whole pnq family. Congratulations too

Sg

Well done to all winners and HMs as always fantastic efforts one and all.

Thanks go out as always to judges and moderators for their efforts, the site and contest wouldn't work without you guys.

Massive respect to the judge who commented and voted for my effort and also to Scott for nominating in the first place.

Craig