Random Thoughts and feelings. let em flow

I'll start.

It's been a shit awful couple of weeks. So happy to be home.

Craig

^ There's no place like home *clicks ruby slippers*

Eh, I emotionally/mentally exhausted after a family health emergency and not quite sure how I'm feeling. Also people were grumpy at work today so I'm looking forward to a (hopefully) calm weekend with lots of tea and warm things ^_^

These kind of threads remind me of club posts and good old days. Not a bad idea at all :)) <3

Hope you feel better Craig!

And MA, sorry to here, is all fine ? People are always grumpy at work, I wonder why.

Tea is a great idea :D

My job sucks. I'm a chemistry teacher now at a private university. I work +30 hours a week, and by the end of the week, I can't FEEL my throat or my legs. Exhausting. Plus, it's not really fun to repeat the same damn lecture for 10 classes during the week. I really miss working in medical analysis laboratories. AND my boss is a nightmare who doesn't like ANYTHING I do or say, and gets mad with me for no reason if she's in a bad mood, and always reminds me how much I "need" this job. Ugh.

Ok. Enough negativity. Just wanted to vent that out somewhere, this thread was made on time. Bye.

sounds to me like your boss feels threatened by you Noura. Or she is just an a-hole

My random thought is about being at a crossroad, yet I feel nailed to a cross.
I was made redundant, however I talked the bosses into keeping the shop open for now, until they can find a tenant to take over the lease,
The finality of redundancy seems the better option than sitting and waiting for the axe to fall. It's hard dragging my carcass into work each day yet needs must.
With five children in my house I have no choice.
I am taking my son to careers advice next week, the funny thing is I am 42 yet still don't know what I want to do with my life. I tell my kids that if they can find a job, doing something they love doing, then they will love work and love life. Live simply, don't over stretch and you will not need to work, for the sake of working.
Maybe at this crossroads it's time to take my own advice.

Know where you're coming from x

I would love that job, although your boss sounds like a cow! Part of my job in the army was working in a lab testing fuels to ascertain whether they were fit for use and in some cases the cause of accidents or equipment failure.

Loved this aspect especially when the other guys were outside freezing their assess off.

My random, emotional flowing thought is this.... always think before you speak.

I am a mother of a 27 year old with Terminal Breast Cancer. She has been doing Chemotherapy, Radiation, surgeries, along with drug rehab all the while being incarcerated... and I had a person asked me while bumping into me at the grocery store " Oh hey how are you? Is your daughter still alive? "

I was speechless and answered " Yes, Im still blessed to have her with me and no she is not in remission" and walked away abruptly....

It's hard for people to find the right words these days, I get that.... but most generally the best way to approach a mother with a terminally ill child is to ask... Hey how are you? How are things going?

I love chemistry. But working in chemical labs and TEACHING chemistry are two very different things. I spend so much time trying to find ways and methods to make it easy and fun for my students who made it clear that they don't like or understand chemistry. I spend extra time with those who are kinda slow learners. Though I think the main reason why I find this job tiring is that I don't feel appreciated by my boss.

Anyway. What do you do for a living?

Oh my god, Andrea. That was very hurtful and rude. Why do people say mean things like this? I'm so sorry you had to hear that. You and your daughter are in my thoughts.

I now drive a truck, slightly different to my army days lol

hugs you

It's true some people just don't think

X

Noura, I know how a jerk boss can screw up a good job. Great that you still focus on the kids despite her bad vibes. Yes, I also remember for myself & my kids how chemistry was not our favorite course although required for science majors. Just trying to convey valence theory to my kids was challenging enough.

Andrea, I hope the lady was merely thoughtless. Robin and you are often in my thoughts.

Darren, what is your exit strategy? (Darrexit?)

If only I had one

My head says stay, hold out for the redundancy package

my heart says go...

I will do what I do best, remain indecisive

Darren, I say listen to your head.

CJ Maleney, did you enjoy working in the army more?

I loved it, you will never understand the feeling of a family quite like it.

Yeah we all have family we love. But the bond with guys sworn to protect each other is different.

All my true friends are ex forces even though some are army, some navy, some marines, some paras.

We share a bond and understanding. We buried a friend just short of a year ago. Some of those guys I've not seen for 15 years. It was like we had never been apart

I know all about it. My ex had been a soldier for years. He always told me about his brothers in the army, how he'd die to protect them, and they'd do the same for him. I think it's a very noble job. :)

It's also a very hard adjustment once you leave.

Regards

Craig

I work in a Psychiatric facility and the stress is overwhelming at times, especially working 48-60 hours a week. Management is absolutely clueless and useless! They create small miniscule issues while turning a blind eye to the bigger problems. They would rather fire someone over minor mistakes then wonder why they have such a high turnover. The job is emotionally demanding but if their employees felt appreciated, they would endure it tenfold. I could ramble on for days about it.

I'm in the process of going back to school but already feel so discouraged as it has been a struggle every single step of the way.

My husband is so distant that I truly feel like divorce is on the brink. He says he loves me but his actions show otherwise. He's never affectionate. Says he don't know how to talk to me, therefore we are in this constant state of just existing together.

My family, who once was very close, is struggling to communicate in fear of stepping on each other's toes. A family crisis happened about 2 months ago and it hasn't been the same since. Things were said that were possibly hurtful but the truth. Sometimes the truth is not what people need to hear, especially when they are already hurting.

I am just mentally, physically, financially exhausted.

Thankful for this thread, really don't know how much I needed to vent a little. <3

Hannah my sweet,

I work for a homeless shelter where we serve drug addiction, homelessness, and mental disabilities. I work the evening shift and Its smack dab in the inner city- I had a knife pulled on me this summer while I was trying to help one of my people... I receive threats daily and I too have administration that knit pick about whether the trash was taken out or whether I got my monthly report handed in on time.... when crisis happens they say " well you made it through'...

but I have been there for three years because my people are precious and I would worry if I wasn't with them.... I understand where you are coming from.

My heart is with you- Thank you for sharing with us and just know we are here for you <3

Larry- Thank you dear friend

Just read this thread and can feel the pain, frustration and hopelessness. Why is life never easy?
Hugs to all the PnQ family and thanks for sharing.

I'm currently working two jobs. One where I manage an extra care residential home (Mondays and Tuesdays) and the rest of the week I'm a removal man, humping furniture up and down stairs.
My 1st job is mega stressful, to the point my colleague was signed of with work-related stress. We have so many unwell older people that we are torn with supporting them and doing our 'paid' work. We've been trying to do both at the detriment to our sanity.
My 2nd job which I started in March is physically hard. My nearly 50 year old knees scream at me as I climb stairs with heavy items. But, I love the job. I like the banter with the guys, calming stressful customers and driving big vehicles again. I've lost my excess fat and am much fitter, so it's not all bad.
Home life is difficult. My partner is/ has been struggling with poor mental health for many years. My main concerns are the health of her and my son. She has her 1st counseling session next week and I'm praying it's the road of recovery for her. My son is 18 this month and his poor health is for the main part behind him. I still have fears that one day they'll return, but while he's well, I'm happy.

Having you guys as a virtual family is more special than I sometimes realise. Thank you, all.

Thank you so much, Andrea! I've always said it takes special people to do the kind of work we do. It's not easy to be threatened and assaulted and then be expected to go on with your day like nothing happened. The outcome always outweighs the bad, though. We see these patients on some of the worst days of their lives, so I try to remember that on those days, we are just seeing symptoms of their diagnosis, of their mental illness.. not their heart, not their true self.

I'm so sorry that happened to you! I know how scary those situations are!! Stay safe, my friend! <3

You and I have had a couple of chats regarding work related stuff?

If you like the driving side of things have you not considered doing your hgv?

I know I whine about it at times but there are harder jobs out there. I work am average of a 65 hour week and yes I leave on a Monday and don't see home until Friday (sometimes Saturday, but not all wagon driving is like this. 4 more years and I'm mortgage free. When this happens in not sure what I'll do. Stacking shelves in a supermarket probably lol. Certainly not tramping anymore.

It's good to hear that your lad is over his health issues but so sorry to hear about your partner.

Regards as always

Craig

Ps. The industry is screaming out for drivers. Think at the last count it's short by about 60,000 and the average age of a driver is late 50's young people just don't consider it as a career these days. It'll cost 2 to 3k to get your class one licence but the earning potential is pretty good. I'm on 40k which is about average for working away. I'm based in Carlisle north Cumbria. Wages in the south are higher but then so is cost of living

Ok my random thing is "why does the past always come back to haunt you???" Some of you will know I've been in an abusive relationship and am now in a loving albeit a long distance one and have been now for nearly 19 months but recently the past has come back to haunt me through the actions of my ex and how he cheated and made me feel worthless etc etc and because my depression has reared its ugly little head so have these thoughts of worthlessness and how nobody will truly want or love me and it's got me questioning why he's still around And why he says he loves me when well "how could anyone love anyone like me" and no I'm not saying this for sympathy or anything like that I just feel truly alone right now and can't seem to shift these thoughts

I wasn't going to join this thread, but what hit me a few years back, was that every single day was a little bit harder than it should be. I don't think for a minute that it is easy for anyone, but when I looked around at family and friends, I came to understand that it was harder for me. This isn't naive or ignorant, it is just fact and I'm sure most people on this thread will agree to some extent or other. What also hit me was that it would never change; this is something in me that is there. When I am happy, I am too happy and it is frightening because I know that that will need to be balanced in the end. I believe that above all else: for everything there is a balance and you get nothing for free and so when the scales tip, it is equally but oppositely extreme. However, knowing all this leaves you more heavily armoured and more able to deal with the onslaught when it comes. That's what I keep telling myself anyway...

Take care, all

Listen to your current and listen to your heart.

Tell your ex to go f#ck himself because no one else will.

I'm always in your area, if he needs a slap then I volunteer myself as such.

Craig x

My main worries these days are the November 6th, What is going to happen to the world? I ponder specially after seeing these two::

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-xatBiT2IQ

Life isn't easy dude.

Far from it.

I've seen people sail through life and have everything fall at their feet. Jealous? Dam right!

However, I feel that everything we endure somehow makes us stronger. Perhaps we feel broken at times "and trust me I've been in that place and wondering how I can fix myself" But we endure.

Why? Because someone somewhere loves us and we will strive for them.

Sometimes we love people we will never meet, we will voice anger and frustration about the mistreatment of the citizens of nations we will never visit.

Why?

Because we are human!

Humanity is not a species it is a sense of belonging. To belong to something greater than oneself.

Dips ones head Ben

Craig

I don't normally follow links but I did on this occasion.

A nations strength and weakness is only defined by it people.

If you view the hearts of your nation to be just and true then you have nothing to fear.

Every man and woman has a choice.

Each has a vote. It's your nation not the government's.

Only you guys can shape it.

Regards

Craig

My sister works in a similar field.

The stresses of work have taken a toll. Only now do I know how much so.

I have so so much respect for people who do what you do! Never ever feel that your efforts go unnoticed and unappreciated.

Sending love to you all

Craig

Time to honest I guess.

I started this thread because I was poorly and piss@d off.

I didn't go into great detail because I thought that people don't need to hear my problems when they have their own to contend with.

As people have poured their hearts out I guess it's only just that I speak of what troubles me.

Holds breath and exhales.

2 weeks ago we buried an uncle who died of bowl cancer. I liked the bloke but wasn't particularly close.

The day after the funeral my sister phones. "Do you want the bad news or the bad news"

The bad I guess!

"I've got cancer"

How the fc@k do you respond in that situation?

To say my head is is in the shed is an understatement.

My brother died young and it seems like I may outlive my younger sister.

That's just fu€ked up.

Anyway now you know where my head is at.

Love and hugs to all

Craig

Craig, that's crappy news. I can only hope your sister responds well to treatment. You never know, she could well out live you.
Man hugs to you.

She won't unless she stops drinking!

Sad but true fact. Her cancer is caused by overindulgence. She used to be stunning now I barely recognise her.

Oh the things we do.

my heart is with you.....

addiction mixed with cancer is devastating my friend, I truly am here if you need to vent

Craig,
It's f'd for sure. I have to say no one can live inside your head and feel what you feel, but I've gone through stuff like that in my own life and felt the way you may be feeling now. I've buried both parents, both sisters, my fiance and many others. You don't get over it - you just carry on and eventually the pain gets compartmentalized. If you ever want to talk about it PM me & I'll give you my Whatsapp.

I love this community. Like many of you, I'm exhausted (physically & emotionally) lately. I'm learning a lot about myself and others these days. Mainly about my emotional threshold, and also about how resilient/adaptive the human spirit is :) I perused this thread, carefully reading each post, and it made me feel relieved. Not because others have it just as bad or worse than me, but because this thread is filled with love, empathy, camaraderie, compassion... it's beautiful. You are all beautiful.

Such a lovely thing to say
Craig x

Oh Craig there's not alot I can say but just know I'm here if you ever need a chat too like you've been here for me in the past and the same goes for anyone that needs a quiet vent i agree with Jane you people are beautiful

Group hugs xx

It breaks my heart to face how behind all the poetry on here there are all of you (all of us) who are suffering with the burdens of this life. It seems like each and every person has their own burden. Each of you dealing with loads of issues and challenges. I can't even imagine how Andrea felt with such words said to her. Or how Craig reacted to his sister's call. The arrogance of managers and working in dangerous fields and for more than 50 hours a week. There is so much stress in everyone's life and I can only say I'm very glad we all have each other. It helps to write and then find understanding in someone's comment, or vent on the forums and find support from everyone else. You are all in my thoughts <3 Never leave this community <3