Weekly Contest Results June 24th

Good Morning Everyone once again the judges have done a great job devoting
their time to read each and every poem and giving insightful comments for their choices,
thank you judges! Congrats to our front page winners: N3MO, Hamada (who just joined
P&Q recently making this a first win) and Mr Darcy.

There was a tie breaker between 3 poems with 10 points each:
Aftertaste by BOB GALLO
What Better Dream? by Mark
New dawn by Mr Darcy

Mr Darcy’s poem won and the tie breaker comment is also added

//WINNERS//:

Upside Down by N3MO (20points)

Trapped by Hamda (11 points)

New dawn by Mr Darcy 10+ tie breaker vote (14 points)

//COMMENTS//:

Upside Down by N3MO (10 points)

We live in a dark world. So many people struggling to make ends meet, kids
growing up not knowing if they will eat that day or not. The rich get richer,
the poor get poorer and the middle class is disappearing. This poet points out
how this society is so materialistic, always the newest and brightest, no regards
for their fellow man who may be struggling. You set the tone of this piece perfectly
and rhyming throughout. A warning we should all heed, don't forget about our
fellow man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upside Down by N3MO (10 points)

It flowed and rhymed throughout the poem and it's amazing to read this type, if
there were more poems nominated like this, there would be multiple ties throughout
the judging term! This poem hits everyone in heart because we all know that this is
true and written in this time where children can't truly be children anymore due to
loss of food, shelter, and frankly hope. I hope one day that there will be enough
food for everyone and that everyone shares what they have with the less fortunate
so nobody will stare, or hurt just because there's a few jack@sses out there,
that we don't always work ourselves to the bones just to buy trinkets to make
life bearable and to always have a smile ready not to see it become a frown!

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Trapped by Hamda (4 points)
There is a lot of deepness in this first poem by Hamda. They describe being
a magnet for negativity, unable to move forward. Sometimes we are our own
worse enemies. We talk ourselves out of things, sabotaging successes and
milestones. The glass is always half empty. It is hard to get out of own way
but we can. Every day we can say something positive to ourselves. We can
do something to help out another, get out of our head. Small steps become
big steps towards a positive life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trapped by Hamda (7 points)

I really like the story here of how the writer describes being ‘trapped’
which I do feel many of us can certainly relate to in some way or another.
As I read through this piece, I felt as though I was spiraling all the way
down to the end which the last word used is ‘black’. A color that can
describe many feelings, but in this case the epitome of feeling trapped!
I like the use of language here, words such as – ‘frozen, darkness and
shattered’ to name a few. This gives the poem its edgy feel and gloom
of what it is about. What I would say is that there could be places where
this poem could be tweaked and tidied a little, however, does not detract
from being a good read. An example for me would be in the last but third line
– ‘My unsteady and weak feet, I can no longer hold’ to
“No longer can I stand upon my weak and unsteady feet’ (only an opinion).
However, I so enjoyed the depth to this piece.
Well done and thank you for sharing, and keep writing!

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New dawn by Mr Darcy (10 points)

The title of this poem intrigued me – ‘New dawn’ gave me reason to believe
(or think) is this about a ‘new’ world so to speak. I say this as ‘dawn’ in general
terms cannot be new, for it re-occurs every morning. Reading further into the
poem I felt it has something to do with something ‘new’ deep within the writer.
The imagery has a dark undertone, something the writer has been battling with
themselves for a long time. ( it could just be metaphors for giving up smoking....)
I say this because it feels that they ‘breathe air that doesn’t choke’ or this could
be an expression of ‘feeling pure’ from changing something quite detrimental,
which to the end of their poem shows a ‘new identity’ which only the poet
knows, and for the reader left curious! A piece that certainly makes one think
about what this ‘new’ life is. One that cleverly keeps the reader guessing. Along
with the wonderful story, the writer pens this in such a way how smoothly a
sonnet should read! Brilliant job all round. Very well done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tie breaker comment for New Dawn (4 points)

"I kept going back and forth between the three poems, all were great in their
own way. “Aftertaste” by BOB GALLO definition of love with the beautiful
metaphors and simile throughout the poem. Mr. Darcy’s “New Dawn” and
Mark’s “What Better Dream” felt like the belonged to the same book, back
to back on one page. The Decision was so difficult, but “New Dawn” took
me as a reader a step further.

The title reminded me of the lyrics of Feeling Good, and in some way this
poem felt like it was written while listening to the song. The song is a huge
metaphor of how the person is finding optimism while walking through
nature. The lyrics “It's a new dawn, It's a new day, It's a new life” like the
singer has gone through lots of pain. Mr. Darcy’s poem started by unfolding
the painful memories like they still hurt. But after the sixth line, the attitude
changed, like he is ready to shake off the pain.

“a new identity for me I’ve claimed”
^
It is time to get over the pain, it is now a new dawn, a new day and a new life."

//HM’s//:

Grass in the Wind by [M(/)U] (7 points)

Low by Maple Tree (4 points)

Aftertaste by BOB GALLO (10 points)

What Better Dream? by Mark (10 points)

Tempest by CJ Maleney (7 points)

Never Loved by Mark (4points)

Again a sheep walk by Satish Verma (4points)

Mother (Senryu) by Daniel (7 points)

I Can Hear the Sun by Scott Cole (4 points)

I wonder, now and then by Ben Pickard (7 points)

//COMMENTS//:

I wonder, now and then by Ben Pickard (7 points)

People can be cruel. Not caring if their words destroy another. We are all
guilty of throwing rocks, yet we are not sin free. What gives us the right? I
liked how Ben started this piece, gathering around to tell his tale of woe. He's
not a saintly man, never claimed to be, he has done his fair share ,but why
attack an unarmed man? People will go after another even after they are
lying there bleeding. Why do we feel the need to do this? They say in the
animal world wild animals can be savage, but I think humans are the most
savage of all.
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Mother (Senryu) by Daniel (7 points)

I honestly don't know how to feel about this piece due to being a negative view
kind of person, but my first instinct was "Congrats! that's a wonderful ending" because
some people receive miracles in unsuspected ways! Some people pray for a child
because they know they have a near zero chance of conceiving a child or they actually
have a zero chance to be a father/mother and the only way to be a parent would be to
adopt which is a wonderful thing but some people aren't on board with that, that being
said it could also be taken as knowing the "father's" desire to be a father the wife will uh
take someone or a sperm bank to get pregnant it doesn't take the father's joy away because
a parent is someone who raised their child to adulthood.
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I Can Hear The Sun: by Scott Cole (4 points)

A sucker for true love and it sounds like it in this poem, every part of you will bare a
piece of her no matter how far away or how close you are it will never change because
love works like that. My favorite part of the poem was when it was mentioned about
the voice sometimes some people aren't meant to whisper yet it's so endearing wouldn't
you say? I hope you and that wonderful lady grow old and be happy for eternity that's
what life should be about growing old with the one true person we can always be
ourselves around
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Again a sheep walk by Satish Verma (4 points)

Well, this certainly had me thinking about what the writer is saying.
So I read it through a few times, to try and absorb their picture. The
writer pens with language that could hold lots of terms and meanings and
I felt I wouldn’t know fully without a conversation! However the feeling I
got with this piece, holds a relevance to religion in some way talking of ‘gods’
‘miracles’ and ‘saint’ but not in a positive way, in a way where faiths in a ‘certain’
god has all collapsed, for they talk about ‘lies’ and ‘dead’ faith. A powerful
piece that really did keep me thinking of what is being said by the writer.
Great use of ‘abstract’ language that drives a depth to it. Well done.
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What Better Dream? by Mark (10 points)

“If dreaming paths the way to where you are
Then why has none to you, so taken me;
Into that Eden of the furthered far
That far, that my imaginings can't see?”

Every time I read this becomes more adapted to my feeling. This is how the form
poetry function, founding the most beautiful way to say a simple, yet uninhabited
feeling. Perhaps by putting the eyes in a very unique angle to observe the world.
It shows you, the beloved, is dreamy, or the feelings are as such. The narrator is
searching and seeking the beloved in a dream world, but in the dream is hard to find
the solid her. Perhaps because she is not real.
“But do I not see you where eyes do stare;
Therein our son, and there in candle burn,”
And how beautiful is that that this love is not seeking the outer beauty, it is looking
for the milestone of love in their son. So here we learn the subject of this love is real,
perhaps his wife, because we see the prospect is brimful of such milestones.
Now here you understand that the beloved was indeed real and now is gone. Searching
in a dream, furthered far to the Eden, looking for her in their offspring, all are base on
a surrealistic dream, but the journey of a poet to find his eternal love is as realistic as it
gets. I cried reading this poem.
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Tempest by CJ Maleney (7 points)

Such a poetic description of flood, pain, and the damages that it leaves
behind.
“Possessions float away. You do not need them.
All that you accumulate contaminated.
But some things stay pure”
The question razes: Why don’t you need the possession accumulated? Is it because
pain, tempest, teaches you contentment; and those things that do not ‘accumulate
contaminated’ ‘stay pure’ perhaps? Maybe flood is to show us our true clarity, inspecting
all our possessions, throw away the most and keep those that IT chooses for us.
But in the end: “When the waters recede,
What is left is you!
Your community your friends and loved ones.”

It means the soled things are those that do not flow away with water, they do not
get contaminated, and that is your: “community your,…” why because catastrophes
are mostly the test of the human spirit, a glimpse to the collective consciousness:
“left is nothing less than human.”
What remains after the flood, is humanity. The most beautiful conclusion!
A short poem but a very well-constructed and clever.
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Never Loved by Mark (4 points)

“If I have ever lived to feel pure love;
No footprint of that love did leave in me”

And why is that? Is it because pure love is really rear or because of the poet
lack of loving capacity? We shall see. In the next stanza, we get our answer

“Nor could familiar scents from Cupid prove
That conscience into love was my decree.”
Here the poet makes a confession that he was not ever a loving kind.
And therefore:
“Tho' has my loveless days, turned loveless years;
Deformed in senses, time - when lore did feel?”

Here he’s exposing his muscle tone in writing:
“By thunder 'bout the grail of lover's peers
To where the ardent and my mind congeal.”
And how sublime it is. The grail of lover sound or spark like thunder when they
reach out ( salute), or get together and that is exactly the ardent and mind of the
writer has gotten congealed.

In the next stanza, he explains that he was born to love not to be a feeling-less
stone but a kind of traumatic love event turned him to mold or stone. Something
solid, hard and unfeeling, like bones without any warm blood, nerves and feelings.

Technically this poem deserves 10 because of technique.
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Aftertaste by BOB GALLO (10 points)

"Often times, I am cynical when reading a love poem and rarely does the
hope or romantic side draw me in. However, this poem gave me depth. The
author unveiled a sensuality of the night, that it does not have to consist of
shadows and nightmares. That it does not have to be the end of all things we
associate with daylight. It does not have to be the representation of an immersion
into darkness. The image of someone leaving came into my mind, but their imprint
still visible, their taste, still there. The title worked wonders for this piece as it
summed up the theme and lasting breath of this love. The imagery was just enough
without become muddied and it was intriguing how the author introduced music
and this sense of dreaming, the breathiness, the piano keys. A very musical,
pleasing piece!"
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Grass in the Wind by [M(/)U] (7 points)

"I definitely did not read this just as a nature poem, as a personification of the
blades of grass. To me, it was so much more. The influence, push of the wind
symbolized to me the direction we often take. How life gives us different paths
and sometimes those we are closest to are further than we would like. We still lean
on each other, no matter the distance. The part about the sun painting you the same
color made me immediately think of how people can often highlight and drone
about the differences in us, which can be important, yet how we still stand, how
we still survive and seek the same things. We grow and mature at different levels,
we face different challenges, but we still stand. Together. I loved the depth in this,
point blank. Plus, I loved how you worked the shape into this!"
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Low by Maple Tree (4 points)

"My heart hurt reading this but I love how you kept the imagery of the
storm consistent. The correlation between the thunderstorm and the chaos
in our heart, the sadness and despair that makes it hard for us to focus on
small joys, or even attempt a smile. The image of being ignored by others chilled
me because it made me think of two things. One, how others see what they
want to see or pretend to not notice the pain in our eyes or smile because it's
easier for them to ignore it. Two, how others expect us to keep that strength
and we try to be that source of energy and smiles, but it's simply not possible.
I think my favorite stanza was the fourth, as I felt the tension, of others watching
you slip further into the darkness and it's like you want to keep screaming, give
some kind of sign, but the darkness literally is choking you.

There were a few lines I thought could be a bit more polished or re-visited, like
"Its the most scariest place of all" broke the flow for me, but that's just my suggestion.
That final line made me think how others say we are strong in this or that situation,
and we feel like we keep fighting and trying so hard. There's almost a contradiction,
that we think we are alone, that others can't know the depths of our pain, even
though others say they are there. It's like our mind and heart is at war. Perhaps,
we isolate. But we just want that relief, a break, someone to listen and not sugar coat.
That's what I took from this.

A powerful, emotional piece. Thank you for sharing."

Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! Beautiful, beautiful writing! Thank you Dagmar for nominating my piece, thank you Meena for hosting and judges for your time and picks.

Thank you, judges. Thanks for my wonderful comment. Also, thanks to -MA for nominating me and to dear Meena for the hosting. Also thanks to Mark, Meen and Rania for their support and goodness

Wow, what a tough tiebreaker!! I am glad It was not me to choose between Mark and Micheal ...

Congratulations to the winners, and HMs. Thank you judges for your hard work and comments as ever. :)

Congrats to the winners and HMs!
Thanks, judges, including tiebreaker, and thanks Meena.

New terms starting in July. This weekend coming up is the last for this terms.

Thanks Meena for hosting and huge thanks to our wonderful judges for their hard work.
Wow, my win struggled through, so thanks to those who made that possible.
Congratulations to fellow front pagers and to HM's. Mark, your sonnet was very good, so I deem myself a lucky so and so.