Weekly Contest results, 1 July 2019

Perhaps the judges are celebrating Lughnasadh a month early by recognizing the varied forms and poignancy of dance. Meena displays vivid imagery of the wind and rain in a heavenly dance. Daniel shows us that the times of embarrassment lend themselves to golden memories of love’s dance even when love has left. Noura finds the dance of painful loss still paralyzes her heart.

Winners:
Midnight Hours (Sedoka & Tanaka) by Meena Krish Points: 7+10+10=27
Briefly by Nourayasmine Points: 7+10=17
Disco Quebrado by Daniel Points: 4+7=11

Honorable Mentions:
Fairy Rust (English sonnet) by Ben Pickard Points: 10
The Benevolence by Satish Verma Points: 10
Lost colour (senyru) by S.T.A.R. Points: 4+4=8
Hypnotic Rivers by Someone Invisible Points: 7
Note to Self by Nourayasmine Points: 7
Broken China by Maple Tree Points: 4
Keep Walking (Glosa) by Jamie Points: 4

Comments
Front Page Winners:
Midnight Hours (Sedoka and Tanka) by Meena Points: 10
Meena's poem this week was such a lovely piece about an approaching rain storm. Her visuals were spot on and truly was a delight to read. There is something about a storm, it is fascinating to watch. I love to be outside when the winds pick up, you can just feel the energy. Meena really captured this and did it in a formed piece! Bravo!

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Midnight hours (Sedoka and Tanaka) by Meena Krish. Points: 10
What a beautifully formed piece of poetry.
The author pens a wonderful flow all throughout their poem. The author takes me on a journey with nature, where the ‘Goddess of wind’ and the ‘Prince of rain come together in a storm rendezvous. The usage of language brings a dark and steamy edge, all captured in such wonderful imagery. I could imagine how two forces bind together in a storm and how these two would dance and swirl through the air!
The poem holds such darkness to it, which adds so much to this powerful piece of writing. Loved this and well done (10)

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Midnight Hours (Sedoka & Tanaka) by Meena Krish Points: 7
From the first stanza this piece is vibrant and packed full of emotion. "The war drums beating from a distance with growing rhythm forewarns of something dramatic coming this way. The second stanza describing glints of silver, mingling with loud thunder arousing the wind goddess" brings immediately to mind a beautiful image of the beginnings of a storm. In the awakening of the wind Goddess you can already see her power and I just loved the imagery of her calling to her prince of rain. The concept of the moon shrivelling in the background as the rain is such a refreshingly original way of describing how the moon is being obscured by the rain. Then the finale - prince of rain and Goddess of wind dance together in one huge and beautiful storm.

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Briefly by Nourayasmine Points: 7
I felt this piece certainly pulling at my heartstrings. The writer pens with deep emotion for the loss of a loved one (maybe?) through the sadness and sorrows of war. ‘Breathe bombs in and music out’ such a diverse line, that holds such beauty within it. How the writer can use something so negative in life into breathing positive using the word ‘music’ absolutely lovely!
To the wrenching of hearing a loved one’s voice through another’s throat, shows the significance of such a loss. However, reading through their piece, there seems to be some solace as they write of a ‘smile’ upon their face, a sense that they can move on but with pain that will never totally be gone! Thank you for sharing and I hope the future will ease, and hope for peace always
A truly lovely piece, and well written indeed! (7)

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Briefly by Nourayasmine Points: 10
I do not have to read nourayasmine’s name to know a poem is written by her. When she doesn’t write, there is a drought on this website. Her poetry, to me, is an ideal marriage of surrealism and realism. The crushing reality of continuing to want someone when they are gone or out of reach is expressed in gut-wrenching metaphor in this poem. Fingertips, skin, face, throat, heart, ribcage - the anatomy is entirely afflicted with betrayed longing. Noura is a master of her poetic voice and whether she realizes it or not, she seems to have an understanding of self that not many of us have.

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Disco Quebrado by Daniel Points: 7
What I love about this piece is that everything sways and spins in this like a drunken man holding to some posts or pole. The pole, the steady objects are the tv... and record lines.
In the state of intoxication everything bounces out of its current space, things start to wiggle and then bonce and spin jubilantly first, then when they get more serious, then even violently, going towards a hangover. I guess the poem is written in that state( hopefully not right away)
The poem is very concise, there is a great reluctance versus everything unnecessary in this piece. The cinematic aspect of the brief visual is great. “Thighs ~strangled, ~barefoot on the kitchen ~tiles.” … ‘The cracks that lipstick smudges live onto the body of the glass,’ “you steady my hips.”
They all speak of a clear story, a man is intoxicated- hangover.
In this poem the emphasises are on the few sceneries. Very picturesque and symbolic of a drunken man. But the poet managed to make this piece like the Dole’s surrealistic dreams. But as it is already mentioned the motion, the spin is very significant in this work, especially they are grounded by that static point, the shaft of repeating lines: “The record skips,” and the whole motion is summarized in these two lines: “Television static.
I sway out of time”

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Disco Quebrado by Daniel Points: 4
The title Disco Quebrado (broken disc) sets the scene for a life or in this case a relationship broken. I liked very much the imagery and the repeated refrain of "The record skips" works very well to remind us that it is a broken vision that we are seeing. "You sip wine from the glass; lipstick smudges still cracked onto the glass" is powerful - It seems like she has betrayed him yet hasn't quite realised that he knows about it. She acts like there is nothing wrong. He is trying hard to put on a brave face
but knows that this will be their final dance -for him it is over, the relationship is finally done and inside he is breaking into pieces. A heart breaking finale to the last moments of a dead relationship that vividly plays out.

Comments, Honorable Mentions
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Fairy Rust (English sonnet) by Ben Pickard Points: 10
This poem is so much more than a sonnet. It is steeped in the wisdom of life and growing old. "My blade is not as keen as in the past when mighty oaks would fall with just a swing" instantly meant to me the passing of time taking its toll, whether the blade is a metaphor for someone's mind being not so sharp as it once was and or the body's strength fading - not having the strength and energy to do what was once was so easy and taken for granted now becomes more difficult with age. A truth for all of us. "A sharpened edge is frail and never lasts" a follow on from the first two lines reiterating that no matter how much you do to sharpen your brain or keep your body fit it never lasts because old age and frailty comes to everyone in the end. Not every prince will rise to be a king - there will nearly always someone who will be better, faster more attractive than you are - because there are not enough places for everyone to be at the top. "The serpents often flew above my head, but fire turned to ice around my sword" In youth we are often oblivious of perils of time and the impending degradation of the gifts that we have and by the time we have noticed and try and take action it is too late. Our world is filled with fear of what we have lost and what has become and yet to become. There can be no going back. When you are young everything seems covered in fairy dust you never imagine that things will change and degrade so much with time. This poem is a warning to enjoy and appreciate your health and energy whilst you can, before you become too old and your abilities to do things has gone."before the rainbows end is left behind" This is a cleverly written sonnet with a wise message.

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The Benevolence by Satish Verma Points: 10
Satish here is unleashing his power of writing by reversing the very motion of announcing it and also by changing the order and the inclination of that act of unleashing. Fist it comes: “Borderless pain was
said untold” (unleashed, by whom?) By his very self: “I am writing
a new chapter of the night”
Later, we ask how the ‘somatic scent’ could rise when the peaks are ‘dissecting the snow falls’?
Maybe because whiteness in peaks is reluctant to let the whiteness and black mingle again. Maybe when spirits come to the earth and mix with the soil, darkness ( religious story) Therefor the somatic scent, the scent of wet soil, plants brimful of scenting flowers, humanity, can no more rise now.
“The fabled light,
fails to distinguish between
eyes and ears.”
And in the end, why does the fabled light fail to ….? Because light is to be seen rather than heard, so here it is an awkward contrast that reflects and confuses the between visible and audible. The poetical logic here goes even farther a concludes based on imagined outmost poetical premises. “A blind man will not find the shape
of truth by noises.”

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Lost Color (Senryu) by S.T.A.R. Points: 4
This week we had several wonderful Senryus and…, I chose this one from them. It is very beautifully written. The imagery: red flower in the book, not only invites you the world of colour, but also take us to the realm of coloured metaphor.
Though the non-exactness of the mining in this witty piece even though confuses the piece, adds also to its wonder.
There are too many ways you can go with this:
Did She pressed the last red… in a book, she barely read, because she wanted to forget him, though instead of throwing it away it in place that she barely reads? Is it because she also barely read HIM? Is it because she wants to preserve the flower in the book that is not being too much used? Is it because of the sound harmony between red and read.
“the book I barely read” could also be in the past or only in general)
The poet seems is regardless of all these possibilities, or she doesn’t care and likes to leave all the possibilities realm open. However, the word LAST (red flower) is significant because she did not press any other but the last one. That by itself means ‘goodbye’.
I pressed the last red
flower you gave me, in a
book I barely read.

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Lost colour (senyru) by S.T.A.R. Points: 4
I do enjoy these short formed pieces of poetry, especially when the final line brings so much to the whole story. I felt a sense of sadness with this piece as if the writer talks about someone once special in their life. Placing a red flower ( I took this as maybe being a rose) into a book they never read, which said to me there is a memory of some kind. However, this may have worn away, as a flower would once pressed!
A beautiful little piece of writing, that holds a deeper story behind it. Lovely! (4)

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Hypnotic Rivers by Someone Invisible Points: 7
This piece really spoke to me. How many times have we passed by a spot and wished we could just stop? A river at night is very hypnotic, it's also soothing and gives me an inner peace. Something about those black waters, knowing if I went in I could just float away. I understand her thoughts on wanting to finally be a peace and it finally being quiet. No more screaming voices in her head, very relatable to a lot of us on this site. I guess that's why I never stop either.

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Note to Self by Nourayasmine Points: 7
This poem brought tears to my eyes. Noura lived through the brutality and terror of war in her homeland. She witnessed the day to day atrocities - the trauma - and the seeming indifference of the outside world. She has come through to the other side, forever changed, and must remind herself now and then that the war is over. This poem is devastating in so many ways. Devastatingly moving.

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Broken China by Maple Tree Points: 4
Maple Tree is a person who gives so much of herself. She gives and gives and gives and it is no wonder she is tired. From the outside, giving of herself seems to come as naturally to her as breathing air does for the rest of us. The truth is she bears her load with outward grace, but she is no less exhausted on the inside. I look at this poem as a lesson. We should be careful to look for signs that our loved ones need support and not assume they can handle the weight of the world just because they do it so well. See the chip in the loving smile; the cracks in the face that radiates with kindness. Give help to the helpers.

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Keep Walking (Glosa) by Jamie Points: 4
I will admit having to look up the definition of a glosa. To pay tribute to another poet and each of their four lines inbedded elsewhere in the poem. Fascinating write Jamie! First off, you chose a Robert Frost piece. So he being one of my favorite poet's out there this was a delight to read. Walking through the woods in the winter can be a daunting task. There is something magical about it too. But you have promises to keep so despite the challenges you push on. But alas hypothermia is setting in, it's easier to just lay down and sleep. Life is like this, always a challenge. Sometimes it would be easier just to close our eyes, but we have promises to keep. Keep pushing Jamie and keep writing!

Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! Stellar writing all around! Larry, thank you for hosting and our judges for their term. Happy 4th all!

Congratulations Noura and Meena, and all of the HMs.

Thank you to the judges for their kind and reflective comments. Excellent writing as ever this week. Hope Monday treats you all well!

First I want to say thank you soooo much everyone, my poem has been on the front page for a week as a popular poem, that alone is more than a win for me. I am humbled by the response, it is really rewarding. P&Q is really a special place!!

Thank you for the votes and comments judges, and thank you Jamie for nominating it.

Congratulations everyone ^_^

Congrats winners and Hms.

I'm so lucky I'm a writer on this site. Thank you for reading my poem, guys. I loved reading your feedback.

Congratulations, winners! <3 Meena, Noura, Danny -- all well deserved. Excellent writes.

Congratulations Daniel and Noura and all those who received a HM!
Thank you judges for the win and in depth comments..appreciate it :)
Thank you Hellon for the nomination and thanks for hosting Larry!

Congrats to all! Many thanks to Larry for hosting, and to our judges. We appreciate you!

Wonderful poetry this week. Thank you to the judges and moderators or their hard work and dedication. Well done to winners and those awarded a HM. Thank you, all.