Weekly Contest Winners - July 15, 2019!

Hello, fellow PnQers! Hope you all are well. I want to give a huge thank you to our judges, all five of them, this week for their time and commitment. Congratulations to Tanya, as her poem "Lovers" is a gentle, soothing ode to nature and reflects on everything it has given her. We had four poems this week with "10" votes, so congrats to all four of you, and the two wins go to BOB GALLO and RustySoul (his first win). One is brimming with imagery of waking up and starting the day and the other reflects on those "shackled" to their phone, chained to this virtual world. Congrats to all and hope everyone has a fantastic week!

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WINNERS:

"Lovers" by: Tanya Southey 10 + 7 = 17 points

"Frivolous Horizons" by: BOB GALLO 10 + 7 = 17 points

"Prisoners of Cell" by: RustySoul 10 + 4 = 14 points

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COMMENTS:

"Lovers" by: Tanya Southey

"This poem suffers from a complete lack of punctuation but manages to expertly weave past cliche, with some beautiful language and effective repetition. There is a lot of honesty interwoven in these words, and Tanya is a poet who is able to write poetry simply, but evocatively.

‘you called me through your birds,
your sun knew how to
find my bones
when I had forgotten
I was made of flesh’

This is a wonderful moment, in a poem that breathes so effortlessly. This is one of my favourites from Tanya. It is not without fault, but it is a winning poem." (10)

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"I've read this piece more than once and each time I come to a different conclusion who her first love was. At first I thought it was a person but then I wondered if it was nature itself? Then it made me think of someone or something spiritual? One thing for sure I definitely agreed on was how visually lovely this piece was. Tanya, you really painted a beautiful story here." (7)

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"Frivolous Horizons" by: BOB GALLO

"The first time I read this, it did not spark anything in me. And then I read it again, and immediately a picture was drawn in my head. I pictures the awaking of a busy city were many poor people live like Mumbai. The cheep chipped mugs and styrofoam cups were what set me in that direction, and then the corroded intersections made sense to me. The bitter and bittersweet the taste of coffee or other caffeinated drink like Chai perhaps; brings a moment of relief perhaps soothing a weary soul. The endless spasms of traffic, the green and red light, how when a person is not busy with something feels the weight of the world in their shoulders. Really beautiful poem, so well written!!" (10)

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Tie-breaker comment:

"I felt the ruthlessness of these intersections, the rush and inexplicable need we as humans have to be filled, entertained... always searching. I love how with this poet, there is usually more than meets the eye. It's not just a moment describe or a scene painted. It's a feeling, it's an insight into the human soul or the hustle and bustle of daily life that we continue to push ourselves on. What makes this poem stand out for me is that it's more than simply a pot of coffee brewing and people waking up. This poet takes that and runs with it, making me think about our "journey" in life, how we wake up just to wake up and keep moving forward, but is our purpose still out there? My only nitpick is with the fifth line, I believe it should be "cheap, chipped mugs" not 'cheep', as that is often used for the sound of a bird." (7)

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"Prisoners of Cell" by: RustySoul

"Well hell, where do I go to get my handcuffs? I love how you wrote how all new modern people are addicted to their phones. The older generation that want NOTHING to do with technology are truly the smart ones in my opinion; they aren't bound to something that costs about a person's soul and quite easy to break (trust me I should know I've broken one as has everyone at one point or another). We as humans shouldn't be so trapped by a phone but here we are lol. You can find happiness through a phone, that is true, and it also helps the truly shy people in life become more relaxed and able to interact with others... or it could just simply be an incredible addiction, but in truth we all going to die someday right? Let's all do what we love even if it will take you out of the physical world so to speak. Great read, will totally add it to my favorite list." (10)

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Tie-breaker comment:

"I particularly liked your take and commentary on almost that helpless feeling, of watching the perils unfold and how will one react to that? You brought that charm aspect but also the kind of "trance" it can put you in. Is it the need to constantly be in the know, the need to feel updated and validated or is it simply a habit that's hard to break? Why even just last night I had sent a bedtime for myself and give myself 30 min or so of Youtube before bed, but I ended up on there longer and while it made my eyes tired enough to fall asleep, it was too much. Another aspect I thought about in your piece is this little "universe" in which people are. How much does it affect their day-to-day life and interactions with the general public? Does it make one less adaptable to social conversations and "social norms" or does it get that person out of their shell in at least some way? I think the key word here is balance. And not always thinking or stereotyping this as teenagers, as I've seen many adults not be present in the moment when they should be or when their surroundings are busy and it's not wise to be not totally aware.
The fourth stanza broke the flow a bit for me and the rhyming with the first line ending in "about" and third line "around" didn't work for me. I also noticed about halfway through the poem, only the second and fourth line rhymed, so that kind of broke the consistency for me. There are a few lines that I think could be a bit more polished to help the flow, and some stanzas read more strongly than others, but this was still a thought-provoking piece with a reflection on society today and the impact of technology." (4)

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HM's:

"Broken Adagios" by: Ben Pickard = 10 points

"To be or not to be a sonnet" by: Milly Hayward = 10 points

"Charon" by: Blake 4 + 4 = 8 points

"A Message Left Behind" by: Walter = 7 points

"As The Sun Rises" by: Vince Gullaci = 7 points

“Neighbourhood” by: BOB GALLO = 7 points

"Olives" by: Daniel = 7 points

"Eye in the Rainbow" by: Sive Klaas = 4 points

“Is this injustice?” by: Adastra = 4 points

"My Therapist" by: Maple Tree = 4 points

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COMMENTS:

"Broken Adagios" by: Ben Pickard

"With rhyming and imagery perfect this is my favourite poem of the week. At first we are offered an introductory comparison of one who was strong and how now is weak. Next the reveal of his being unable to keep afloat - the choking feeling caused by a love once sought. Gives the feeling that love is behind the problems that are now faced.

Flowers blooming too quickly and grass beset with weeds give a barren feel of time passing. The portrayal of Grass being mocked by weeds is inspired. The blackbird usually such a chatty bird is reduced to only a listless tune barely heard on the breeze which also helps build the feeling of life draining and tainted. Missing the colour and the noise that you would expect to see.

A change in direction that brings more life and detail to what is behind what has been lost. The moors where they walked, danced, laughed and talked is but now just a place to cry. Every place they visited and took delight is now ruined for him. Then in the evening when the Moonshine comes, when everything should be silent and in peace - a winding down of emotions and thoughts - even that is taken from him by the rooks and crows making too much noise. The title Broken adagio - a composition played in adagio tempo (slowly and gracefully) broken at last." (10)

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"To be or not to be a sonnet" by: Milly Hayward

"Milly's sonnet was a tongue in cheek piece poking fun at herself over the inability to write a sonnet. In truth she really nailed this sonnet! Her meters are right and in true Milly fashion she made a fun and quirky piece. Well done!" (10)

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"Charon" by: Blake

"Charon, of Greek mythology. The ferryman of the Hades who carries souls of the newly deceased across the river Styx. I really liked this piece a lot. Its layout was unique as the piece itself. We have all heard of the ferryman, know he will come for all of us eventually. Blake put this all together and gave me the willys at the end." (4)

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"A poem that resurrects the question of what happens after death. Charon the ferryman of Hades - The poem flows beautifully very much like water and has almost a sonnet quality to it. The rhythm works well on a subject that touches us all at some point in our lives. The imagery is perfectly in sync with the subject. This is a poem that I could read over and over again." (4)

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"A Message Left Behind" by: Walter

"I am a sucker for romantic gestures! I adore the message in the poem. It's a beautiful telling of how love just is you either let them walk in and sweep you off your feet or you don't. I'm so happy that this poem was fluffy and magical but plausible...Oh, how I hope this poem was made from a true life story as that would make it even more sweet! Also nice use of how a stick can be like a chalk; it made me think of how people draw on the ground with beautiful different colored chalk. All around grand love story." (7)

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"As The Sun Rises" by: Vince Gullaci

"I love short poetry that leaves me thinking, or reminds me of something. I am not sure what is meant by ghost walkers, but in my mind it’s more like the time that haunts us at night. When I was younger, I had some days where I struggled with sleep, and I sleep only I see the little light outside. It’s like the ghost walkers disappeared and my mind was set free again. Well penned, loved it!" (7)

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“Neighbourhood” by: BOB GALLO

"This poet’s writing always has meaning, and there’s never really anything superfluous or words that don’t belong. He is one of the best free writers on this site, and this poem is an example of what he does well. I believe the poem is about the appeal of freedom, and how sometimes there is an urge to separate from something that is challenging. Sometimes ‘the grass is not greener’, sometimes ‘The self is a dead end alley.’ A wonderful poem from a poet who refuses to spoon feed." (7)

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"Olives" by: Daniel

"A free form poem that instantly whisks the reader off to a sunset tapas filled romantic holiday. The descriptive imagery of an olive is written in such away as to evoke a seductive mood which carries through both in the physical and to the setting. There is nothing so beautiful or romantic as looking out at the sea at sunset be it from a beach view or a harbour listening to the blood rushing music of the Mariachi, sipping glass of wine or perhaps a flamboyant cocktail sitting hand in hand with the person you love most." (7)

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"Eye in the Rainbow" by: Sive Klaas

"The title is so beautiful, it had already set a mood for the poem. For some reason, the poem was refreshing. It has been a while since I read a poem written almost entirely in Old English. Falling in love with someone, and not having patience to be together, afraid to lose the to someone else. The wording is sweet and well thought of." (4)

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“Is this injustice?” by: Adastra

"A beautifully subtle poem with a delicate touch. This poem itself could be a metaphor for the futility of life, and how the never ending cycle of the seasons is not dissimilar to the certainties we experience. Death, life, death, life. A beautiful poem." (4)

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"My Therapist" by: Maple Tree

"Maple, how I adore reading your poetry! It's always so grand and this one is no different than the rest of your wonderful babies. Personally when you give your life story to someone in this profession you never really think of what the therapist has to hear all day, only that talking it out to someone who can't judge you in anyway is a release and a relief. That being said it's nice to have someone there who will tell you the steps to come back to life." (4)

Congratulations winners and HMs! Thank you to the judge for the lovely comment on my poem too. Hope you all enjoy your evenings. :)

Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! Awesome applesauce everybody! Thank you Mary Anne for hosting and always our judges for their choices.

Congrats to all and thanks to all 5 judges.
Thanks, MA for hosting.

Wowza! Congratulations to one and all. Well done.

Congrats winners
Thank you judges and thank you for
hosting MA

Thank you, judges, for paying attention to my works also. Great comments, I really appreciate. Another Thank you to dearest Meena. The biggest thank to Mark who makes me most gracious and proud because of his attention to my works, that means a lot, (in awe of his authenticity). Also to lovely AM. for the other poem, and Raina the sunshine girl. I also owe one more thank to Everlasting.

Well done to the three winners this week. Great to see a new winner up there too. Thanks to the judges for their thoughts and time as usual.

congrats to all!

Great work everyone.

Congratulations to all the winners and HMs - huge thanks to MA for hosting, all the judges for judging and a special extra thanks to the judge who liked my poem ("To be or not to be a Sonnet) enough to give it a 10 :) xx