Weekly Contest Winners - September 8, 2020!

Hello! Rania here. I hope everyone is doing great and abiding well by all recommended measures during the ongoing virus crisis.

This week the front page will feature the amazing poems by Mark, Satish and Maple! Well done also to Ziad for his great poem. Thank you to the judge who commented on my poem, deeply appreciated.

I will leave you below with the comments of the two judges who voted this week. ( Thank you for your time)

~~~~~~~~~Winners~~~~~~~

Escaping gravity by hiraeth (20 points)

"There's something surrealistic about this poem, perhaps it's the mentions of an "etherized sky", the painter with its colours, and then the sudden inclusion of mechanical elements. They all seemed like random objects put together, yet it works so well for the ambience.

The second stanza was probably my favourite. The relation with weightlessness and feeling hollow was so logical yet poetic... perhaps due to not having a "memory heavy enough". That's incredibly strong.

And then the line "i mourn, because i exist' was somehow so philosophical and heart-wrenching. After all, what's life without the pain? Would we be alive at all if we only felt happiness and no sorrow? So much food for thought. It makes me wonder what's the real gravity we're trying to escape here." (10)

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I had so many feeling reading this poem, but it also scares me and i got chills reading it. Reading the title made me think that this is a refreshing poem but honesstly it felt so deep that rather than being weightless I was left with a heavy heart. The visuals at the beginning of the clouds and the painter retiring for the night were just beautiful, and then the poem took a turn when the origami bodies were introduced. I visualized the paper game with numbers we used to make as kids, although we played it as if it's a luck game it's actually not because we have put the numbers and results in it we are the ones controlling it. It also made me think of those two people giving up on being themselves in a society that didnt accept them, and they just went by the norm. The sad part is that they are made of paper, it's like indicating that at some point they will be torn.

Then the next verse comes and hits even harder! The light body that only has a beating heart and the soul, and even thought its this light it has no memory heavy enough to keep them on their feet. The thing though I took the heavy memory as literals a heavy one that they want to keep to help them survive.

Why I said this poem scares me? The final two verses made me feel like this person in the poem has almost given up on life.

I may have went way too deep and maybe completely wrong, but this poem is really powerful! (10)

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Retroaction by Satish Verma (7 points)

"The poem starts with elegant gestures: summer, a kiss, a hiding moon... flames. Almost as if to describe a summer romance. Then come the crosshair, the darkness, the stabs. Such an intriguing turn of events! It almost feels like an internal fight to give in or to hold back. "Always poor to buy your happiness" was such a strong light that suddenly shook up this conflict with the sadness of reality, of almost having no choice. I loved how firm the ending was despite the doubt. "I will not ask you. I will not need." Sometimes the simplest lines say it all so perfectly."

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November Frost by Maple Tree (7 points)

From the beginning I started envisioning the words one by one, and it's just like I kept adding to a scene in my head. It's like halloween ghosts are still roaming in November. But I see this poem more than that. It feels like reminiscing over a memory that you keep remembering every November. This is such a beautiful piece.

______________________HMs

frail by Rania Moallem (4 points)

I'm struggling to write a comment for this. I see so much depth in it I dont know where to start and I dont want to be wrong in my interpretation because i have two. The title just the word "frail" on its own, the repetition of don't talk, and the long slender form are so impactful. Very well written!!

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Sonnet 43 by Ziad Dib Jreige (4 points)

"The preface to the sonnet was simply mesmerising with such a strong opening couplet. It's so true when we think of it! Grief and love do make us explore life through our deepest emotions.

The transition from this realisation to the next few lines was also very smooth. The melody of these places and phrases just keep haunting my mind. Usually such an alliteration would sound unpleasant due to the "p"-sound, but in this case it was somehow melodious.

As for the sonnet itself, metering and rhyming through poetry is complicated, so hats off to that. I did feel the preface was a bit more creative in terms of wording, but it was equally beautiful in imagery."

Thanks for posting, Rania and thanks to the judges for committing themselves.

Congrats to the front pagers.

Congratulations to all of you wonderful writers! Beautiful pieces all around! Rania thank you for hosting and our judges for your time and thoughtful comments.

Thank you judges your comments :) Congrats to the other winners, and those who got a HM!

Congratulations Winners and HMs
Thank you judges for your time and thank you for hosting Raina

Well done, all, and thank you to the judges.

Thank you Judge for your beautiful comment and Congratulations to everyone :-)