Weekly Contest Winners - October 11, 2021

Hello everyone, Rania here. Hope you're all doing well. I would like to start this thread by posting a note from one of the judges, followed by the comments and votes.

Kindly note that one of the judges couldn't send their comments just yet, they will be added as soon as they send them. Thank you for your patience.

Judge's note:

"Reading through this weeks poems, I came across two poems using the ‘Sonnet’ style in brackets.
Before I go on, I very much enjoy ‘formed’ or ‘styled’ poetry. The main reason for this is they are a challenging, provoking and usually difficult to write.

The reason I am giving this Judges note is to bring some understanding and shed some light when a poet uses a ‘style’ of writing poetry.

So, the two Sonnets I read this week were nicely written. Now had they have been sonnets as they should be, I would have been tempted to give both top marks.

A sonnet is one of the most difficult of all formed poetry, and I would say to any poet is to explore the requirements, ‘syllable counts’ and most importantly the ‘meter’ which makes the sonnet flow in every line, right through until the end.

The whole part of being a judge (member) of PnQ is also about critique, support, learning and encouragement, and so when writing under a ‘formed’ piece of writing, research, learn and then sweat it out.

It is important to know that poetry generally has no ‘boundaries or ‘rules’ as such, however with formed poetry its important.

This takes absolutely nothing away from how a poet can write, because e are all poets really.

I am particular when it comes to ‘formed poetry’ so to gain any marks, I am looking at every part of the style.
I assure you this is about inspiration and encouragement.

Thank you."

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Front Page Poems:

Acidic by Poet on the Piano
6 AM thoughts by Rayven
Orbit of Love - Sonnet by Walter

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COMMENTS AND VOTES:

6 AM thoughts (14 points)

By. Rayven

‘mental health’ is so commonly used and a label that has ben stuck with many (like myself) for so many years. Quite frankly its a label I try to look at differently, and for me personally it is about ‘who we are’ and ‘what we are’ that’s it! We are all unique and complicated and our brain has the capacity to make a mockery of what society call ‘mental heath’
Our ‘wellbeing’ is very broad, complex and more importantly it is very personal that no one understands!
I m very passionate about this subject, which is why I enjoyed this poem.
The ‘6am’ moment of a writers mind, where this can be many varieties of how they are feeling – insomnia, nightmares, waking at the same time and the list goes on.

The writer gives an account, to the reader of how it feels for them at that precise moment. Thinking about how they put it “how crazy they think you are” and the truth in ‘lying’ being the irony.

This poem certainly resonates with myself. I like the way the writer takes me through their anguish, and how people really do not understand, but there again like I said who really does understand? Only ourselves in truth.

I also enjoy the word choice the writer has chosen, along with a sort of calmness to make it undemanding to read.

A really well written, uncomplicated piece, and thank you for sharing (10)

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6am thoughts by Rayven - (4)

"Comment to come"

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Acidic by Poet on the piano (17 points)

As I read this piece of writing, I could almost feel an ‘after-taste’ of something.

That ‘something’ being how the writer gives an account of ‘bitterness’ of someone, I feel – someone who leaves a trail of their disappointment or not noticing how the writer feels.

The writer portrays in many ways, no matter what they do, its never enough or even not good enough.

I feel a sadness here, along with a sort of ‘same old, same old’ almost a feeling of insignificance, for a want of a better word and never knowing if they have been noticed in anything they do.

I found this poem easy to digest, albeit a sadness, and a feeling of dejection. However it reads well and no doubt there is a far longer version, that only the poet knows for themselves.

Nicely done (7)

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Acidic by Poet on the Piano - (10)
"comment to come"

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Orbit of Love - Sonnet by Walter (14 points)

Walter created a very pretty sonnet this week, oozing with a romantic flow and eloquent design. (7)

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Orbit of Love - Sonnet by Walter - (7)

"comment to come"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HMs

The echo of her voice keeps hunting her.
by STAR

I enjoyed this gentle flowing piece of writing.
The writer takes me through an image that has an eerie touch to it.
They write about their journey of ‘no going back’ also repeated at the end of the poem, which is the most significant part, for it begins as it ends, in a manor of speaking.

I also felt the writer was trying to leave something behind, and as the story unfolds they become weary of what ever it may be, and ‘echoes’ still carry through of something quite haunting; almost goading the poet.

A mysterious piece of writing, that leaves the reader intrigued and a slight shudder!

A story that holds much more, which I would like to have read
But overall I do like this piece.
Well done (4)

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The fear of the unknown, to keep hearing the voices and fear,
just a powerful poem, full of dark and yet calming ease, to carry on
this journey, just wonderful! (4)

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The Heart of my Dreams (Sonnet) by Paul H

I chose this poem for my number one pick because of the beauty and flow of this piece.
It's a wonderful and soothing poem. I'm not sure of the kind of sonnet this is, because the
syllable count is unknown to me, however the beauty and graceful flow is why I adore the poem. (10)

Hey Judge who left a note...I'm not sure what you mean by this part of the note...

"So, the two Sonnets I read this week were nicely written. Now had they have been sonnets as they should be, I would have been tempted to give both top marks."

What is a 'sonnet as it should be' exactly?

One of the sonnets I believe you are referring to actually did garner a top score and the other with a 7 from both judges is now on the front page so I'm a little confused by your statement.

Hi Hellon. (Rania again). The judge has sent this reply:

**Judges note**

I would like to apologise for my wording, as highlighted in the competition thread.

It was meant to read:

"So the two poems I read this week were nicely written. Now had they have been Sonnets, as stated in their titles, I would have been tempted to give them both top marks."

I will of course re-visit my reasons, regarding my comments in due course, but wanted to clarify this immediately.
Thank you

“What is a 'sonnet as it should be' exactly?“

Hellon, I don’t know what the judge would reply but in my opinion a sonnet should follow a specific set of rules. There’s are so many variations.

We have the most common Shakespearean sonnet also known as English Sonnet. This one follows a rhyme scheme of abab cdcd efef gg. The predominant meter is iambic pentameter. However, it could also be written in iambic tetrameter. Oh and there should be a Volta. It’s usually located somewhere in 9 line or the couplet. The sonnet should also have 14 lines.

Anyways, I read both of the sonnets, and they are not perfect. I like the sentiment in both, but structurally, they need work, specially in the meter.

Thank you for the votes and comments!!! Also thank you Rania and Judges for your time !!

Congrats everyone :)

To the judge...

Do you think it would have been more helpful if both authors had stated which type of sonnet they were presenting in the title? Would it be helpful, in the future, if an author forgets to state which type of sonnet they post and it gets nominated, one of the mods could pm them thus keeping the identity of the judge anonymous?

To Luce...

Thank you for your explanation on the structure of sonnets, I can never wrap my head around meter haha!!

When you say both sonnets need some work done on them does that mean you disagree with the judges choice this week?

“When you say both sonnets need some work done on them does that mean you disagree with the judges choice this week?”

^ to be honest, I didn’t read the nomination list. So I have no idea what other poems were like. In that sense, I can’t say I disagree or agree with their choices.

I just saw your comment and Hehe felt the need to jump in and reply to you. It got me excited. I miss talking about form poetry.

I miss talking about formed poetry too Luce...there used to be so many challenges in the past thrown out to members to have a go and take them out of their comfort zone, I'm just confused as to why the judge who made that post seems to also be the judge who then went on to vote and comment on both sonnets? The other judge's comments where not added so it has to come from the judge who found both sonnets lacking in some way?

There are three judges not two, and two of them have comments. It could be either one of them.
Maybe they’re lacking as sonnets as the judge said ( though I wouldnt know I cant understand meters too lol), but it doesnt mean the judge didnt like them as poems? It’s true when someone choose to write a formed poem it can be judged as one, but honestly if I was a judge since I dont understand meters I cant take that into consideration it would be unfair for the poets. So if the poem flowed and had a good rhyme, I would give it an extra mark for that even if the meters were not right not that I would know :)

Also it really is fun discussing poetry, dont you all think its better if we start a new thread?

Another Msg from the judge:

** Judges note**

Firstly before I explain further in regard to the ‘rules’ and ‘requirements’ of a Sonnet. I would like to say that, the two poems that I refer to, takes nothing away from their story/theme and content.

There are various ‘styles’ of sonnets, as I have mentioned before this note. When I read a poem (this being the case of a sonnet) where in brackets or attached to the title, I will assume that it is an ‘English sonnet’

So I stress the importance of which form of sonnet a poet is referring to, as it is important when it comes to judging such a style.
The strict style and form contain the elements to qualify as a Sonnet

1) 14 lines, each containing 10 syllables
2) Structure can be written in 3 quatrains (abab/cdcd/efef/)
3) A rhyming couplet to complete the sonnet (gg)
4) iambic pentameter *
5) Metrical value*

I feel that the first 3 points are pretty self explanatory, however I will give examples as I go along.

At the end of each line the final word is an alternate rhyming word as follows:

abab (first quatrain)

...... here (a)
...... gone (b)
...... clear (a)
...... song (b)

The 2nd and 3rd verse can be the same but the rhyme scheme becomes:
edcd/efef
The final 2 lines are known as couplets (gg) where both end words rhyme.
Now the challenge and difficulty of a sonnet is the flow, rhythm and syllable count.

Syllable counts are from one word alone or a word that is broken down into each syllable:

One = 1 syllable
Twenty = 2 syllables this being twen/ty
Forever = 3 syllables this being for/ev/er

And so on... it is important to firstly understand syllable count, especially with ‘formed’ rhyming poetry. Having said that, if its not formed, then you can have your own rhyme scheme.

Then you have to think about how words come together to make a formed piece flow-
As all words are either ‘stressed’ and ‘unstressed’

For example: apple = 2 syllables (ap-ple). The first syllable is the strongest part pf the syllable, even though it contains the least amount of letters

So looking at ‘apple’ in a rhythmic line, you have to marry up an ‘unstressed’ word, like –

‘The apple in your/ eye is there for keep’

which brings in the *meter* and also the* iambic pentameter* which is 2 sets of five equal words that flow.
As in the example above, which also contains the 10 syllables required in a sonnet line.

If I change the line around a little as below

‘the lovely apple is kept in your eye
the line contains 10 syllables, however the meter is out, as too is the iambic pentameter

‘apple’ doesn’t flow with ‘is’ which makes apple ‘stressed’ and also ‘is’

So it is about bring words together that flow

So the use of ‘stressed’ and ‘unstressed’ words in ‘formed’ poetry is important for the continual flow, no matter where you put/use exclamation marks. It must flow!

I will use the first verse in the writers poem as an example, but more importantly as inspiration

First verse of “Orbit of love”

‘I can only compare you, to the sun
With all memories, I still hold of you
Just like its beauty, you always would shine
I would absorb you, whenever in view

Okay so, I will break this verse down and explain now with ‘meter’ and iambic ‘pentameter’

Although the verse contains 10 syllables per line, and at the end of each line words rhyme alternate (abab) which is correct for an English sonnet, however the most challenging and difficulty is the ‘metrical flow’

(I can only compare you) is out of meter because of the ‘stressed’ and unstressed words used, the ‘iambic pentameter’ doesn’t work because of this, thus losing flow and balance.
Once this continues, the whole verse becomes out of ‘meter’

So look at this in ‘iambic pentameter’ which is 2 sets of 5 syllables ( or 5 feet also a term)

This could be read with commas to help with the meter, but I really do not feel this was the poets intention:

‘I can, only, compare you, to the sun’ as it breaks it up too much and the meter isn’t correct for a sonnet. also as you continue to read, it loses its flow.

So finally I will change the vers around, but keeping the value of the verse and its meaning by using all that I have mentioned – ‘iambic pentameter’ using ‘unstressed’ and ‘stressed’ words together to demonstrate meter and flow:

I will have to alter words so they flow:

I can only compare you, to the sun
With all memories, I still hold of you
Just like its beauty, you always would shine
I would absorb you, whenever in view

I can com-pare you / only to the sun,
For all my mem /o / ries lie there of you.
Its beauty just rem / inds me how you’d stun
And how you would abs / orb me when in view

The other poem I read:

‘The heart of my dreams’ (sonnet)

which was under the ‘sonnet’ style, I must be honest is not a sonnet in my reading or that I have come across. Unless there is such a style of ‘sonnet’ however this is certainly is not an English sonnet

Like I mentioned before, I like the content and themes, however neither are ‘sonnets’ as they should be, and if I am judging a poem in a ‘style; or ‘formed’ it will be the flow I am looking for as well as the content/theme.

As an example for point structure:

1 point for content
1 point for syllable count
1 point for rhyming
The maximum points for flow, iambic pentameter and what a sonnet should be, and the ‘style’ whether an ‘English sonnet’ Italian (origin) French and so on, along with styles such as:

Quatrain
Rondel
Rondeau
Nonet
And many more.

This does not take away how well poets write, however a ‘styled’ poem is why it has a particular form Rondeau

Thank you.

Thanks Star for pointing out that there were 3 judges this week and not the normal two, I should have noticed this but I just got confused that the judge who left the note seemed to imply that both sonnets were lacking in some respect and then voted for them. Now I see that he just didn't agree with the other judge/judges vote. As I nominated one of these sonnets I was more interested than I normally would have been.

Yeah there’s three judges… and one that knows about form poetry. Ohhhhh I’m excited.

I’m tempted to write but but I’ve been dealing with some health issues and I probably should not. I’m supposed to keep calm, out of stress, and I’m testing if emotion affects me as well but but…

I’ll take another break. I’m getting too excited.