Omigosh!!! My father's doing it again, what the heck?!

Bob gave you some damn good advice and I would give you the same as he. Do what you will with it.

But I really wouldn't want to be seeing my dad if he did those things to me. If you care about your siblings you wouldn't be letting them see him either. And what about your grandparents? Maybe they can help you out. No matter how much therapy your dad has had, he will still always be an abuser. Don't get me wrong it may work for some people but not others and apparently not for you dad. If you can't make a call then the best bet is to stay away!!!!!!!!!!!

Mackenzie-

I recommend you go back to your grand parents. Stop seeing your dad. I would even go as far as to take your parents to court for emancipation. Tell your moms therapist what she is doing to you, or ask your mom if YOU can go to therapy (you could even say that it was because of the issues your dad gave you), and then tell YOUR therapist what is going on. They would know the legalities and rights that you have, and have some good advice about what to do. Your situation sounds kind of convoluted, however, what does your uncle/ step dad think about this?

Its important to understand that often times victims become abusers, and it is not unheard of for people who have been abused to then become the abusers of other people around them. Therapists understand that, and they will believe you. If you guys are being landed in hospitals, etc. something needs to be done. How old are you? I did not check. You need to reach out to other adults around you who care and get something done.

I know that your younger sibling, 8, I think you said, loves your daddy, but whats important to consider is that they are 8. It is important to protect them from what they cannot protect THEMSELVES from. It is irresponsible of you not to step in just because you dont want to ruin what she thinks of him, he will do enough to damage that as time progresses if nothing is done. You dont want to grow up resenting your father like your brother does, these things take lifetimes to get over. You NEED to make that call, or tell someone who will make the call for you. People who have been abused are often conditioned to either think they deserve it, think that they ARE the problem (and you are NOT), or just accept it from fear, insecurity, or codependency. You DONT want to fall into these patterns, they will haunt you the rest of your life. You deserve to be treated better, and you must take your life and that of your siblings into your control and do something about it. They will thank you when they are older. Maybe they are too young to understand now.

Mackenzie- At 12 you should not be having to deal with this. You need to tell an adult who will do the right thing, sweetie. Honestly, you have no idea how much you will regret this when you are older, I assumed you were a bit older by your posts, but this shouldnt have to rest on your shoulders.

Your step dad is too close to the situation to change it, and obviously not a mentally sound person to allow it to go on and contribute.

Talk to an adult you can trust, please. You guys need OUT of this situation.

Abuse is a world problem.

Mackenzie at 12 I think you are smart from
what I have read. All these good people
have given you super advice. I’m sorry for
what you have been through and haven to
grow up so fast. I know if you tell to your
teacher what’s going on you will get help
like right now without anyone knowing
but you and a social worker. This same thing
happened to my son at 11 by his stepfather
and he told his teacher and they were there
at school with in an hour. They went as far as
going to the house without no one knowing and
didn’t knock on the door but just were outside
to listen for loud arguments or violence going
on. They do that for about a half hour then knock
on the door. If you are abused after your parents
are confronted the abuser goes to jail, you are
asked who you want to live with. In California
a 11year old has the right to say whom they want to
live with when abuse is involved. I don’t know the
laws in Oregon but you will get help. Hun don’t
let it continue pick up the phone or ask for help
at school.

Honey, my heart goes out to you. I read down all of the advice and I absolutely agree. It sounds to me as though you have a lot resting on your shoulders. There are so many people about there who can help you and I urge you (from a person who understands abuse and what effect it can have on your life because she didn't 'tell') please please please say something to anybody about both your mother and father. A teacher, vicar, family friend, social worker, police whoever. Somebody in a position of responsibility will help you honey because no one, and I mean NO ONE, has the right to put you through any amount of pain in this way. The responsibility to stick up for your brothers and sisters lies with you because you are brave enough to ask for help. Like you said if the authorities know that he has an abusive history then they will stand up and listen honey I promise you. Just remember that you are never alone. It sickens me to think that a family can go through this type of struggle still in this day and age of readily available help. Honey hang in there and be strong for your sanity. I understand the feelings that you may have of love still for each and every member of your family but trust me sweetheart if you 'tell' things will get better, they may be hard for a while, but they will get better.

A parent has no right to make their child feel like this whether they are 12 years old, 22, 32, 42, 52 or 62 and you have to remember that. If you stand up for yourself and your brothers and sisters now you will always be proud that you did the right thing for the good of someone else. If you don't you may end up living with a regret and it sounds to me like you have enough to deal with! When I suffered abuse as a child I had an imaginary friend who would meet me at the window and save me from whatever I was suffering. You are in a position to be like my imaginary friend to your brothers and sisters, to forever be the person who saved them from this treatment and made their world safe.

If you still want to see your father (which by the way is completely understandable) ask a social worker about controlled access (in the UK this is where somebody from social care is in the room with you at all times but you still get to see your dad).

I know this situation is so very hard right now but I can't stress enough honey that you have a way out of it - pick up the phone. It will be hard to dial the number but once the words are out of your mouth then the grown ups will take the responsibility away from you which is as it should be and you can go back to being a teenager and trying to enjoy your life.

The ironic thing for me about this whole situation is that an adult needs a license to drive a car, own a dog, get married and a thousand other things but they let anyone have children, the most precious and treasured commodity we have on this planet.

Take care honey and keep me posted as to how you get on.

Love Rach xxxxx

You need to do what you did in the first place... get away from him! Go to any of those places with a Safe Place sign on them or call the police and/or Child Protective Services on him. Whether or not you have evidence, you can still get away from him for a while and tell people about it to get him monitered. Sadly this isn't the first time I've heard of this sort of thing happening... and it probably won't be the last. Feel free to E-mail me for more specific advice, a voice to talk to or anything else you may need.

No one should have to go through this alone may they be 12 or 112. Tell someone!

Some people say some various cancer is the major cause of death... I disagree completely, Silence is the majority killer no matter how you slice it. Cancers can be treated and often cured in the early stages.

Your silence is the only thig between you and help, it's all around you. Sadly your silence may end up killing someone in the long run... although all I can do is hope and pray that this doesn't happen... I just hope you heed my advice on this one tell anybody and everybody willing to listen.

I could understand your embarassment if this was a case of sexual abuse,* but physical abuse is nothing to be ashamed of... quit protecting your dad, he obviously isn't too worried about your safety.

*Although that shoould be brought out into the open as well if it ever happens to anyone

Well expressed Crux, silence a killer - that is one of the most potently powerful phrases I have ever heard connected to abuse xx