Gender Dictionary:

What do girls and guys say, and what do they really mean?

When a guy says: "Uh huh, right honey,"
He really means: "I'm not listening to you. Will you please shut up so I can get back to doing absolutely nothing." It's a conditional phrase with NO value whatsoever.

When a guy says: "I dont know where this relationship is going"
He means: "This relationship isnt going anywhere I want to go"

When a girl says: "Nothings wrong. I'm fine"
She really means: "You should know what's wrong you idiot! You wont get sex until you figure it out!"

Anyone want to share a bit from their gender dictionary???

good one don

when a married man says "im busy i'll be there in a minute" he means "aww come on i just found this awesome board on poems and quotes!"

The most common ones for me and my friends tends to be when someone asks "Is something wrong?". The only way to translate that one is by their responses. If they say "No. I'm fine." and dont smile to reassure you it means "Not really. If you pressure me enough to tell you then i probably will." If they say "No. I'm fine" plainly but smile, it means they dont want you to worry about it because it's really personal or they dont want you to know because it pertains to you. If they say "Nothing. I'm fine" and they say it happily, while smiling, it usually means it's not very important and i'll get over it in a moment or that there really is nothing wrong. If only guys and girls were as simple as buying a dictionary on them. =P

The original e-mail I received had the girls yes = no and no = yes, but I TOTALLY disagree with that! When we say a firm yes or no, that is what we mean. The secret is to pay attention to her voice inflection and body language to see if she’s going to follow through with what she means

Girls English
Yes = Yes
Ok (with a sigh before or after) = I really don’t want to, but I will
No = No
Maybe = Probably Not
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now!
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later!
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure......Go ahead = I don't want you too.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you stupid moron!
How much do you love me? = I did something today that’s going to upset you
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate! = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead!

Guys English
Yes = Yes
No = No
Maybe = Let me see what sports are on TV first
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress = Nice cleavage
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex right now.
I love you too = Okay, I said it we'd better have sex now!
Let's talk = I’m tryin' to impress you by showing that I'm a deep person and maybe THEN you'll have sex with me!
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.