Death Wish

Do not commit suicide; you only get one chance at life. So why not try and improve it? I'm sure if you are on this poetry site, you love poetry. Think of the reasons you have to live... your brother, friends of yours, poetry... etc.
Life is not worth wasting; just hang in there.

Me and you are a lot alike, But im not comparing myself to you. Im just going to show you some things that have happened in my life. And they're shitty things to. but let me tell you. Theres WAY more to the story then what im letting you know.

So hopefully by just spilling my story... and letting you know some things from my prespective... you'll understand that taking it away is pointless.. when there is so much more. honestly.

I had a horrible childhood. My dad beat me, and so i moved in with my mom. (My parents were never married. . . im a broken condom 1 night stand baby) any way. i moved in with her, but only to know that she did drugs and was an alcohaulic.
When my little brothers and sisters were born, i raise them. Early in life but i did. And then my moms boyfriend rapped me. Yes. he rapped me, im a stronger person now. so im not ashamed to admit it. I was a kid, who did i have to turn to? My brothers and sisters needed me to raise them. They couldnt do it on their own. So i did that. I felt worthless, nothing in the world could happen to make me better. My mom never left her boyfriend untill 5 years later when she went through rehab. And he never had to pay anything for doing what he did.
I found my dad when my siblings were old enough. I worked things out with him. (That was about the first thing that started going good) When i moved in with him things from there started to get better, then they got worse. i didnt have nothing to live for. my uncle was living with us at the time, and i had already tried ways to killmyself. To take the pain away, because no one cared about me except my sister and brother.
Well one day my uncle leaves for work, and i never see him again. He killed himself, he didnt even leave a note, or say goodbye. And he had everything in the world. I thought, why in hell would you kill yourself, so many people loved you, so many people were here for you. And you had to be the selfish one to take your life away from us. We had to bear the pain that went through with that.
Well i was older now, and things started falling into place, and of course things get worse. but they always get better.
Then... I met my love. i didnt put my guard down with him, because i had been hurt for so long by otehr people. And i still am, but i live for him. and nothing will ever change that. i want to livenow.
i have to.
because inside, i KNOW it always gets better. even if it takes 14 years. lol. but really you just have to understand everything sucks. And were not in the land where the grass is greener. its always greener on the other side. SO yea. just think about everything you've worked for. And why would you just flush it down the drain.

-Courtney
PS: Sorry for the long ass story. lol

death will never be a solution to any problem...you are not the only who is having a hard time in fact there are other people there who have a heavier burden than what you are having right now...you must learn to move on and fight the challenge of life...it feels good when you look back and had surpass all the problems that came your way...don't give up...call on to God...He listens...He cares...